I have a lot to say on this work of fanfiction. If you're really that interested in hearing about it, go to my livejournal (just click the 'homepage' link on my profile). The title is the same as the title of this fic (plus chapter number).
Edit: All hail Silvane, who corrected my horrible Spanish. Quite frankly, I despise Spanish and have refused to learn it, but that's no excuse for butchering it - I've too much respect for language to feel comfortable with that. So, thank you (again!) so very, very much.
Edit Two: Yeah... I'm gonna have to find a beta at this rate. Thank kirin-saga for this edit - It helps clear up the last scene, though nothing new happens.
Title: Only In This 'Family' (01/??)
Characters: Perceptor, Swoop, Figueroa, Lennox
Pairings: None in this part. Later: RatchetxWheeljackx(adult)Perceptor. Others might be mentioned, but not focused on.
Summary: Swoop makes planet fall, bringing along a bit of a surprise. A surprise which Fig promptly sets about corrupting teaching.
Author's Note: Ya know, I probably should have been working on my fic for the contest rather than this, but oh well... The 'family' referred to in the title are the Autobot's in general, just so ya know.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them - I just enjoy watching them squirm.
Swoop curled tightly around the tiny body pressed against him, shielding the sparkling from the worst effects of atmospheric entry. His brothers were far, far behind him, and though his navigational system was still working, the aerial fighter simply didn't have the energy – or concentration – needed to perform the complicated equations that went with aiming to land at, or near, a specific point on a planet. At this point, all he could do was aim in the general direction of the Autobot's – of Ratchet and Wheeljack, who would fix this, because they always knew how to fix these things – and hope he didn't miss by too large of a margin.
Well, at least he knew one thing for sure – he would at least land on the continent. Not in the ocean or anything.
"Hello?" Figueroa answered his phone sleepily, completely aware of the fact that it was much too early to be awake.
"Yo, Fig!"
"Lennox? Hey, what's up?"
"Ah, well… Actually, I kind of need a favor." His captain sounded… edgy. That wasn't good; the only times Lennox sounded edgy was when something bad was about to go down and all he could do was wait. And all Jorge could think was 'Why me?'
"Independientemente de que usted dice."
"Dude, I still don't speak Spanish."
"Yo sé."
"… Right. Moving on. You remember those giant robot things?"
"Not exactly somethin' you forget, man."
"Well, remember when you said that you had a feelin' it wasn't over yet? Well, it's still not."
"We have to fight more of those things?"
"No! Not right now at least – maybe eventually, but not right now. But, see… Two of the Autobot's – the good guys, remember? – friend's signals were detected entering Earth's atmosphere – and they kinda landed in the swamps of Florida. And you're the closest person to them, so we were kind of hoping you'd… Go meet them?" The silence on the other end of the line was almost disbelieving in tone – if silence can have a tone, that is.
"…"
"Please?"
"………"
"Awww, come on, Fig! We can't have giant alien robot's roaming around Florida's swamps – what if they kill off an endangered species by accident? They could seriously injure the alligator population you know!" If the alligator jab didn't work out, then Lennox might actually have to give up on this.
"I hate you so much right now, you realize." Laughter.
"Yeah. I know. And thanks – from all of us."
It was dark and wet and they were in salt water – which was not good, because they sparkling simply didn't have the means to protect his delicate internals at this point, not even from salt, and the water wasn't good either, because that could rust and hurt the sparkling more. How did this happen? Running a scan, he realized, while he had landed on the continent he'd been aiming for, he was close to the ocean, on a 'peninsula'.
The sparkling was wailing, and he tries to move silently out of the – swamp? bog? – to dryer land. It doesn't really work, but then he hears a noise, forcing him to turn around and aim his gun into the pond he was standing beside. Something slips from the bank to the water, and it worries him, because Swoop doesn't really know what the native organisms are capable of. There's nothing around him – well, there was water, and plants, and animals, and more water (what could one planet need with so much of the stuff? He'd like to know – knew that Slag would find it interesting when he arrived as well – but didn't have anyone to ask the moment. It would have too wait.) Either way, none of it was anything he could use as a transform, so he begins shifting through the veritable ocean of information the humans call the Internet. It quickly becomes clear that not even the jets of this world will work for him – which isn't unusual, since he has no wheels, and just what were their (his brother's and his creators, that is) thinking, building them without wheels?
Only then he spots something quite nice, and it's not perfect but that's okay – it'll work for his needs, and there are other transforms of the same type available for his brothers. He wouldn't be able to replicate the creature completely, because the only information he could find on it was from its bones – odd, that – but it would work well enough. Yes, this 'Pteranodon' would work quite nicely for his purposes. With a few adjustments, of course.
Jorge 'Fig' Figueroa was seriously beginning to doubt his own mental state. Seriously – he'd just agreed to go wondering through dangerous swamps, at the most dangerous time of the day (technically, the night), to find two – undoubtedly dangerous – giant alien robots.
Yes, he was an adrenaline junkie. This was a fact he'd come to accept, since one didn't get as far in the military as he (or any of his squadron, for that matter) did without getting some kind of thrill from putting oneself into ridiculously life-endangering positions.
Still, this went a little far, even for him. If Lennox hadn't called so late – and the Spanish-speaker was certain that had been planned – he would have never agreed. But now he had agreed, so he'd just have to stick it out. With a curse he rounded a remarkably large tree and stopped short. He blinked, turned around, walked back behind the tree, and tried reentering the clearing. It didn't work – not that he'd expected it too, he'd seen too many television shows where someone tried the exact same thing, and it never seemed to work for them, but he figured, what's the harm in trying. Before him sat what he knew was a dinosaur. And, obviously, dinosaur's were extinct.
Fig stared for a few more moments before the trees shifted just right in the (admittedly, light) breeze and he caught the odd glinting of the – oh geez, what was this one called? It was the kind that flew… - thing's skin and realized that he'd just found one of his 'charges'.
"Ahh… Hi. You wouldn't happen to be 'Swoop', would you?" Lennox had told him the names – Swoop and Perceptor – and that he should try to contact Perceptor first, but the supposedly calmer Autobot wasn't anywhere that he could see, so he'd just have to talk to the one he could see.
"How you human know me Swoop name?" That was… Odd. It (he?) seemed to have trouble speaking English (Yes! He wasn't the only one anymore!).
"Oh, ah… Optimus Prime sent me." An odd huff that rather made Figueroa think the fucking dinosaur in front of him didn't particularly care. But Lennox had mentioned something about one of them not being on the greatest of terms with their leader (okay, actually, Will's exact words were "Apparently they have about as much respect for the big guys as we do.") and that he should bring up 'Ratchet' and 'Wheeljack' if things proved – and yes, he is quoting here – "difficult." Ratchet, he was fairly certain was the medic, but Wheeljack was one of the ones he hadn't actually met yet.
"I think Ratchet and Wheeljack had something to do with it as well, actually." That had certainly caught the robot's attention.
"Him Ratchet and him Wheeljack close? You human take me to see them?" The voice was demanding, almost threatening, actually.
"I'm kinda like your escort, yeah. But we need to find this other guy – Perceptor, is it? – before we can go."
Swoop watched him for a few moments before (without any warning, even) shifting to his natural mode and moving forward to show Fig what had previously been cupped in his hands. It was a small, sleeping transformer. "Him Perceptor here. We go now." And just like that, the robot stood up, clearly waiting for the human to lead the way.
Yeah, Fig was fairly certain he was out of his mind.