Jay's Corner:
Bonjour Everybody!
This is my second story on FF and I have to say I am nervous as hell. I don't know why… I guess it's because that story can be seen as judgmental by some. So before you put your big humanists' hats on guys: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY!
Voilà! I said it!I am not gay but It doesn't bother me in any way. I'm even dedicating this chapter to all French lesbians and gays! Congratulations on obtaining your wedding rights!
For the rare ones who have read my other story – Please, Take care of Mommy – well… This is a 180° turn! Too Gay For You is a comedy that I let fall in the romance cauldron! (That doesn't mean you shouldn't try and read PTCOM! *cheeky*!) Actually, this is the adaption of an Asian drama called Down with Love. I just mixed my two loves
Too Gay For You IS NOW A FULL STORY! Yeah I know you love me!
Let me be clear before we start. I don't want anyone coming in here to write offending reviews about people's sexual orientations. I will immediately report those. And please no flames!
And… That's it… See you at the bottom for Fics Recommendations! (I have a lot of those in store for you)
A lot of Thanks, hugs and candies to my Omega (I don't like the word Beta… so yeah) Amaryllis-Amy (On FF)! You're wonderful, girl!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Too Gay For You
Chapter 1: Born This Way
It's hot…
It's too hot…
I'm thirsty and sweaty… and thirsty…
If I die in this heat, bury me with my glasses, pretty please... I think I look cool with them.
Her last thought made her snort. That was the kind of situation only she could find herself in. When Bella took that job as a dog walker, she was thinking "cute, furry little thing" and not "beast, almost human size making her run all around the park". Now she is lying down on the soft grass in the park, after returning Hulk to his master, under the too hot sun, not having any energy left to pull herself up. Her bob styled wig was making her itch, and her thick, black framed glasses were sticking to her skin.
Ugh, this, right now must be my nonsexiest moment ever, she said to herself, and all of that only for a small amount of money. The thought made her blood boil.
Inner Bella immediately gave her the "mental bitch slap".
Now, now, we don't have time for a pity party, Swan! Work, work, work means money, money, and again, MONEY.
That's right! She indeed didn't have time to complain about her life. It was only her and her sister, and Bella's inability to keep a stable job meant that they were mostly living on her sister's salary. After all these years, they still hadn't managed to finish paying off the house their father had left unpaid before deserting them, taking their brother with him. On top of that, the rent for the little house they were residing in was due soon. It was only two rooms and bathroom, but it was still something, no need for more. Under the circumstances, she understood why Rosalie was so adamant on saving every penny possible.
Getting up from the floor, Bella passed her hands on her too large jeans and readjusted her glasses. They were fake ones, only an accessory, but their purpose was clear: Keep the bugs away.
In her vocabulary bugs was just another way to say men. She didn't hate them at all; she even had a boyfriend and salivated in front of pictures of Orlando Bloom too, however she was conscious that she wasn't completely ugly and just didn't have the time to deal with them. Therefore, she was constantly wearing a short cut wig, hiding her long brown hair, and thick, ugly glasses. Some days, she would even paint a bunch of ugly looking little red points across her cheeks.
Yeah, the perfect package to keep men at bay. Take that Casanova! Try to seduce me and see! She thought smugly. She was jolted out of her thoughts by her phone ringing. She retrieved the big engine from her jeans pocket and quickly looked at the ID.
Rosalie. Great.
Bella loved her sister dearly, she really did. Nonetheless, her obsession for money must be taken care of and fast. It was seriously bordering on the crazy side.
"How much!" Figures.
"Hello my dear sister, how are you on this beautiful day? I am well, thank you, Rosalie, you? Oh, I am good too! It's so refreshing to see that we share such a fraternal love, right, Rosie?" Bella said sarcastically. She knew how much her sister hated that nickname.
"Oh shut it Swan! Just tell me how much already! And don't call me Rosie!" She screeched on the phone.
"Eeeesh, calm down woman! I made around a hundred and bits…" her voice was low at the end. She already knew what was coming.
"Uh-huh. And when is your next day of work?"
Here comes nothing.
"Ikindagotfired," she mumbled hoping her sister wouldn't catch it. No such luck, Rosalie was a freak with super hearing, she heard it loud and clear.
"Isabella Swan, Tell me you didn't just say you got fired?" Rosalie almost growled.
"You didn't just say you got fired?" she knew she was pushing her buttons but she already lost her job anyway so why not have a little fun?
"Don't play with me, Swan! You had better find a job by tomorrow or I swear…"
"Ok, ok, I get it, no need to put your panties in a bunch. Are we still on for lunch?" they had an important event to attend to at lunch today.
"Yeah, of course. I hope you are ready and didn't eat breakfast! Our future depends on you and that big stomach of yours!"
Dramatic much…
"Don't worry, Sis! Food is my area of expertise," Bella stated proudly.
"'Kay Bye!" In a true Rosalie Swan fashion, she hung up without letting Bella utter another word. She shrugged, used to her sister crazy behaviour. She stared at her phone for a second, wondering when she will be able to replace the ancient thing.
Seriously, I could crush bricks with this thing…Straightening her posture, she starts toward the busy streets giving herself a pep talk.
Let's get a job Bella!
On the other side of town, opposite from the carefree setting of the park, a meeting was taking place at the top of the Cullen Building. Three men and a woman were sitting around a classy looking black square table. You could cut the air with a knife. One of the men, however, seemed completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere. Twirling his pen fast around his long fingers; he was smirking slightly, waiting for the moment when they will crack.
First step: Create a tense atmosphere. Check.
"Well Mr. Cullen? You made us come all the way over here so I assume you have a good reason."
He said nothing, only ran his hand trough his gorgeous, copper coloured hair and leaned back against his chair.
"A proposition maybe?" the man probed again.
Still nothing.
"Will you please say something?" he was getting pissed now. Perfect.
Step Two: Make them lose patience. Check.
Finally, Mr. Cullen started speaking in a low, almost seductive voice, "Two days ago, my client, Mrs. Stanley here, received a notification stating that her husband, your client, is accusing her of not being able to uphold her marriage commitment by having an affair."
"Someone set me up!" The woman huffed. Mr. Cullen laid a calming hand on her shoulder. Then he got up and started pacing behind her chair.
"So your client is requesting for a divorce with my client, is that correct?" he questioned.
"Yes it is," answered the other attorney, Mr. Jones. All this time, the third man, an old looking gentleman just kept silent, like his lawyer instructed him too.
"Then what about the alimony?" Mr. Cullen inquired, raising one perfect eyebrow. Mr. Jones guffawed, a loud, clearly exaggerated laugh before righting himself.
"Mrs. Stanley didn't tell you? Before they got married, she signed a prenuptial agreement and they went to the courthouse to fill a properties settlement system. Therefore, my client will not pay a dime," he smiled clearly proud of his little tirade.
"You said you would take care of me for the rest of my life!" Mrs. Stanley cried.
"Back then, you also said that you did not marry me for my money," replied calmly Mr. Jones's client. Mr. Cullen scratched his chiselled jaw slightly and looked down, his face a mask of sadness.
"Mr. Stanley, after all those years of marriage, don't you have even a little bit of heart?" He asked seemingly sadly. The other attorney laughed again shaking his head.
"I never thought I would ever see 'the infamous, unbeatable Edward Cullen' rely on the sympathy act to win some alimony," he snorted. "And I thought you had some amazing trick up tour sleeve!" It was Edward's time to laugh.
"Alright, since you gentlemen are still so insistent, we will see each other in court." Cullen said, still chuckling.
Step Three: make them think they can mount on your head. Check.
Mr. Stanley and his attorney hastily got up and started making their way to the door. However, Edward's soft voice cut them short, "At that time, my client will reveal the truth to the world, and we will let the judge decide." He was now dead serious, all trace of prior amusement leaving his voice. They turned around, their focus back on the beautiful attorney.
"What do you mean?"
"Mr. Stanley insufficient virility has caused my client to not to have even a little bit of a sex life. I think using this fact; the court might make you pay compensation. Otherwise, not uploading her marriage commitments is enough." Edward had a smug smirk plastered on his face when he took the faces of the opponent side.
Mr. Stanley's wrinkled face turned to face his former wife making her recoil a little into her chair.
"You wretch! How can you drag that issue into this matter?" he shrieked. Edward Cullen came around the table holding something in his hand.
"This is the Viagra my client found in your shared bedroom, and, this is the medical evidence provided by the hospital proving that you are having problems with you prostate gland."
Mr. Jones butted in, "That doesn't prove that he has problem having sex!" He was getting worked up. Good.
"If not, why would Mr. Stanley here even use Viagra? Moreover, the amount used… isn't small at all," The last part was whispered. Slowly, Edward made his way back to his chair, crossing his long legs and tilting his head back, a picture of ease.
"Such a major gossip worthy situation," he whispered wistfully, "I am sure the paparazzi will be interested…Maybe by that time, it will make me discover even more," he smirked. "For example, when Mr. Stanley became impotent, and how he became impotent…"
Step four: Rub it in his face. Check.
He went on, "After spending so much money, and yet to have no evidence of improvement, no wonder such a young and beautiful wife would go out to meet people," he finished, gesturing to a blushing Jessica Stanley.
Finally Mr. Stanley completely snapped, "Shut up! You keep on saying that I can't do it. If I am impotent, then why would my secretary be pregnant? Huh?"
Loud gasps were heard around the room. Edward just smiled lazily.
Strike!
He raised two fingers and stated, "We want two".
"Two million?"
Edward snorted. "Of course not. Twenty million. After all, I heard that deal you sealed not long ago was worth a lot right? Here are the papers. Sign."
Behind his serious expression, Edward was rejoicing.
Who's da Boss? I'm Da Boss!
Ladies and gentlemen, that's how Edward Cullen works.
Getting out of the elevator at the top floor of his building, Edward Cullen made his way to his office, greeting his secretary and assistant with a cheerful smile. "Good morning Miss Swan."
"Morning Mr. Cullen" she greeted back, "If my guess is right, that smile means the meeting went well?" she asked. After working with him for the last four years, Rosalie knew all about his moods. They started working together from the day the firm was opened and considered each other more like friends than co-workers. If Edward had to entrust his firm to someone, it would be, without a doubt, to Rosalie Swan.
"You guessed correctly, Rosalie! You should have seen his face when I came to the Viagra issue." He couldn't help but laugh remembering their shocked expression. "It was hilarious. Anyway, lunch is on me for everyone today, can you order please?" It was a tradition at the Cullen law firm that every time one of the attorneys won a big case, he had to offer lunch to the whole company.
"Of course. Italian, right?" she said, already getting the phone from the hook. Edward nodded and turned to enter his personal office but Rosalie called after him. "Mr. Cullen? I wanted to tell you that I won't be here during lunch hour. I have to meet my little sister today; we… have something important to do. If you need something, just call Sophia from the third floor, and she will take care of it, is this okay?" She knew how impatient her boss could be at times.
Edward looked at her for a moment, making her squirm. "Mr. Cullen?" she asked again.
"Don't worry Rose," he chuckled. "Of course you can; you work too much. Go and have fun with your sister. I'll be fine." On those words, he stepped inside his office, locking the door behind him.
Edward's office was the biggest one in the firm. After all, he was the boss. Two sides of the room were windows from where you could see Tampa's bay. At night the view was breathtaking; that was the main reason why Edward wanted so many windows. The whole office was decorated in deep blue and brown shades, diffusing an odd feeling of warmth and making the clients more at ease. This particular part of the building was Edward's pride and joy. It shows how much he succeeded even if the all odds were against him.
Indeed, Edward Cullen and his twin Peter were orphans only four years after their birth. Their parents died during a plane crash letting their boys without relatives and under the children services care. From this day onwards, they jumped from foster families to foster families, however their absolute reluctance to be separated and stubborn personalities caused that they were never adopted. They didn't really care, they just wanted to stay together and in their minds no one could replace their parents.
So when they got their inheritance at eighteen they immediately started making plans so that they won't have to rely on anyone but themselves. Peter and Edward both got a free ride for Yale and majored respectively in Photography and Law, taking family matters for speciality (AN: I don't really know anything about law , sorry). After graduating with record time, Peter left to travel around the world and his brother decided to leave Connecticut for Florida. Using his heavy inheritance, Edward bought a building and opened his own law firm, Cullen's Attorneys, and hired the best lawyers he could find so that all the specialities were covered. In total, the firm counted merely 40 employees, including the secretaries. Quickly, he became one of the most demanded attorneys of the East Coast.
His phone ringing pulled Edward out of his musings. Kicking his feet on his desk, he retrieved his Blackberry from his slacks pocket and hastily pressed the answer button.
"Cullen Speaking", he sighed, feeling drained after the morning activities
He heard a snort on the other end "Is it like that that you greet you best friend, Eddie?"
Edward groaned not in the mood for his friend's teasing "What do you want Jake? And don't call me Eddie!" He hated that freaking nickname and Jacob knew it.
"Relax, Cullen! I just wanted to know if you would like to eat together this evening. It's been a while." Edward sighed again. It's true that it's been a while since they spend time together. For the last years, his relation with his high school best friend was tensed and he was unconsciously trying to avoid him.
"Ok" he answered finally, "Where do you want to meet?"
"There is this place in town one of my friends owns. It's called Eclipse, meet you at seven?" Jacob asked.
"No problem" Edward quickly agreed before hanging up claiming he had work to finish, when , really, he didn't.
Standing outside a new Japanese restaurant in town, the Swan sisters were preparing themselves for the event coming. Rosalie, her hands on her sister's shoulders and the most serious expression on her face, was coaching Bella.
"Are you ready for this Bella?"
"Don't be overdramatic Rose; this is not my first eating competition! You, out of all people, should know how much I can eat. We can do it, Sis!" she said confidently, holding out her fist. Bumping fist with her sister, Rosalie nodded.
"You're right, you eat like a mammoth." Bella only smiled proudly, not at all ashamed of her big appetite. "Don't forget, B, we want the second price. Not the first one! Just look at me, and I'll show you when you need to slow down. For now, it's my show. Look and learn , Little sis'."
Straightening up, Rosalie ran a hand trough her long blond hair and made her way inside the restaurant, Bella hot on her heels. Immediately, Rose spotted one of the other participants, a man wearing a too short shirt to hold his beer belly and grease stained jeans. She hiked her skirt a little higher and lowered her blouse an inch before making a beeline toward the man, purposely bumping into him.
"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" The man didn't really hear her; he was too focused on her cleavage.
"It's ok, no harm done pretty lady. I am Tony, you?" Rose wanted to gag when she smelled his bad breath, but still she went on with the plan.
"I'm Emma, it's very nice to meet you," she said using her best 'Come get me, tiger!' voice. He blushed bright red. "Are you taking part in that eating contest?" she asked innocently.
"Y-yes, I am" he stuttered. "Why? Are you participating too?" he wondered.
"No I am not, I am not adventurous enough for that", she winked at him. Coming closer, she placed a hand on his chest feeling his heart beating erratically. "Are you sure you want to participate?" she smiled up at him. "I am actually on my lunch pause from work; I just came to get my boss's lunch. We could, I don't know, have lunch together maybe?" Slowly, she trailed her hand down his torso, letting it slightly brush against his crotch.
"Yes! I would love that" Tony immediately answered, louder than necessary.
"Ok, big boy" she gave him a blinding smile, leaving him dazzled. "I just need to make a stop at the office to give my boss his lunch, and I will meet you in the park in front of the school in say, five minutes? Don't make me wait, Tony" Before she even finished her sentence he was already bolting toward the restaurant's exit. That man was going to wait for a reeeaaaaally long time.
And one opponent down for Rosalie Swan! Who's next?
Satisfied, Rosalie turned to wink at her sister who was already standing where the event was taking place. Bella was watching her in awe. It wasn't the first time that Rose was using her charm to get rid of the most dangerous participants during the numerous eating competitions they attended. Every time, she was astonished by her sister's power over men.
Bella looked down at herself then back at her sister. They were complete opposites. While Rosalie was tall and thin, with golden locks, ice blue eyes, a killer body and the picture of feminine, Bella was short and curvy, with brown hair and brown eyes. Most importantly, she always dressed like a boy; baggy jeans and band t-shirts were her everyday attire.
Sighing, Bella took her seat at the table where all the other participants were already seated. Well, not all the participants… Tony sure was not here. The event's animator started yelling into the mike he was holding:
"Welcome to our restaurant first eating competition!" People started clapping and cheering. "This is a sushi eating competition so the rules are simple: Within the appointed amount of time, the participant who eats the most is our winner for today!" More clapping. "And what type of prize will our first place winner get? Yes! He will get a set of cooking books written by our talented chef! Isn't that great?" He exclaimed as if it was the best thing ever. Rosalie shook her head at Bella, indicating one more time that it wasn't their goal. "Our second place winner will receive a carnet of free meals tickets for our restaurant! Yes, yes, yes, you heard right folks!" Rosalie vigorously nodded at Bella and mouthed "This is ours, sis".
The contest started. The sushi kept coming and coming and the participants were eating them like water. It was seriously scary. Slowly, the numbers of eaters was decreasing till there was Only Bella, and other woman and one really big man named Tyler or something. Rosalie motioned to Bella to slow down with her hands, letting the woman who was turning green, eat quickly. Two sushi later, the woman jumped from her seat and bolted towards the toilet. Bella started to eat at a quick pace again surpassing the woman number easily. She was now head-to-head with the big man. Finding herself where she wanted to be, she stopped eating altogether.
"Time's up!" the animator started screaming again. "Out of the seven participants here is the top three! Third place goes too: Mia Smith! Mia, if you hear me, please, come get your prize when you finish in the toilet!" Everyone laughed. "Second place goes to…" Rosalie was smiling so big, Bella was afraid her face would stay stuck that way. "Isabella Swan! Congratulations! You win free meals tickets for our restaurants!" Jumping up and down, Bella bound her way to her sister, both of them squealing while the host announced the winner. "Finally! The big winner is…" Just before he could say his name, Tyler started vomiting loudly right on the floor.
Rosalie and Bella paled, stopping all movements, even breathing.
The animator sighed loudly, "It looks like our big winner just lost his place! Vomiting means losing! Therefore, our big winner is… Miss Swan! Please come on the stage!" Bella started walking toward the stage, a forced smile on her face. The host didn't seem to notice. "Here is your price! The whole collection of cooking books written by our chef! Congratulations!"
Meanwhile all Rose and Bella could think about was "This sucks".
For the third time in five minutes, Rosalie sighed loudly looking out the window at their little house. They had to carry the heavy collection of books all the way to their home. On feet. Bella nudged her a little but she just slapped her hand away.
"Sis?" she tried. Rosalie only glared at her.
"Come on Rose! It's not my fault if that guy vomited, for god's sake! You can't blame me for that!" she too was pissed. They were so close. Then, Poof! It was gone. Like a dream. "I mean we can always sell them right? Seriously, there are at least twelve books; certainly we will make some money out of it," Rosalie's glare immediately disappeared and the dollar sign was almost visible in her eyes.
"Your right!" she finally answered, her mood skyrocketing. "That chef is supposed to be well known, isn't he? Therefore, those books must be expensive! I will put them on eBay tonight! Oh, Sissy, we will make so much money! You're the best!" With that, she hugged Bella tightly, cutting her air supply in the process. "I have to go back to work! Did you find a job?" she inquired.
"Yeah, Alice said they need a waitress at Eclipse for the next weeks, so I will go there after visiting Mike," Rose wrinkled her nose at the mention of her little sister's boyfriend. Mike Newton was exactly the kind of man she would never recommend for Bella. He was rude and treated Bella like yesterday's garbage. However, she did not seem to notice it. So, not wanting to hurt her sister's feelings, Rosalie kept her thoughts for herself wishing she will realize soon what a piece of shit he really is.
Bella was sitting on the sofa in Mike's apartment folding the clothes she found on the living room floor. He was playing some racing video games not paying attention to her.
"Mike?" she called linking her arm through his; "Do you really don't have time tomorrow? Birthdays are only once a year after all. I am sure you can find some time after work. Or I could go to you? I could pretend that I'm a customer," she asked softly. Tomorrow was Mike's birthday, and Bella wanted them to spend it together, however it seemed that he didn't have the time to celebrate and had to work. You would think that working in a supermarket was the job of a life for him.
He shook her arms off him and responded in a bored voice "I'll tell you something Isabella, the boss might promote me to store manager so during this time' I really need to do well. Can you understand that?" he asked as if he was talking to a kid. "Didn't you hope that I could get somewhere someday in my career?" he said smugly.
Casher in a Thriftway is not was I would call a career you dumbshit, she couldn't help thinking. Bella surely was not in love with Mike; he was an asshole and she knew it. He just felt safe, and she liked to think that someone wanted her even when she was such a tomboy. Slipping one finger under her wig, she scratched her scalp a little. God, I really need to wash my hair, it's way too hot here.
Sighing loudly as if he just got out of a heavy workout, Mike stood up from the couch, turning off his game and turned to Bella. "Help me clean up a bit; it's a little dirty… I need a shower." He tweaked her nose a little and left the room without a second glance. Grumpily, Bella started to clean pick things up of the floor before making her way to the coffee table where some chips where spilled. When she picked up the phone receiver to clean under it she accidently pushed the recorder buttons and a message started playing.
"Hi Mike". Ok. That sultry voice was definitely female. "I wanted to tell you that I received your flowers. Your sincerity…I can feel it too." A dread feeling started to spread in Bella's stomach. Was he cheating on her? And flowers? He never bought her flowers. The message wasn't finished. "So… I've decided to accept your courtship. Bye Mikie!" End. So he really was cheating on her… How could he?
At the same moment the message ended, Mike came bolting into the room, "What are you doing?!" he screamed.
Bella looked at him dead on the eyes, "What is that?" She asked pointing at the machine.
He glanced at the ceiling before returning his gaze on her. He blew an exasperate breath. "You can't blame me. If you need to blame someone, blame yourself for being no fun at all. I mean look at you! You are not feminine at all with that crazy wig of yours! You won't even let me touch you! You're a frigid freak!" He was yelling now.
Ah. So it's what this is about.
Bella stormed out the apartment; she had heard enough. She felt so humiliated. Not really because her relationship with Mike ended today, she couldn't care less, but because she had been fooled like an idiot. So what if she wanted to dress like a boy and wear a wig and glasses. It was her choice. If he is not happy with that then fuck him. Period.
Edward was sitting at a booth at Eclipse, Jacob was running late, and he hated waiting. On top of that, he managed to get the more distracted waitress ever.
"Miss!" he repeated for the five times already. She was completely odd. Her hair was cut short and looked strange, almost fake. A wig maybe? Nevertheless, why would she wear a wig in the first place? In addition, her glasses were too big for her pale little face almost concealing it completely. She was dressed in the restaurant-required attire, a black shirt with the restaurant's logo and black jeans, but he could see her beaten sneakers from where he sat. Oddly, he thought she looked cute. If only she could focused for a few damn seconds. "Miss!" he called again, slapping his hands on the table to draw her attention.
Bella was pulled out of her Orlando Bloom daydream by a sharp noise. Right! The customer! For a second she completely forgot where she was. She focused on the customer and inhaled a sharply. That guy sure was hot. Deep grass green eyes and bronze sex hair, a chiselled jaw and pink pouty lips. He seemed tall and built, his muscle straining a little against his tailored suit.
Inner Bella, started shredding all her Orlando Bloom posters.
"I'm so sorry, you were saying?" she smiled bashfully.
"I want a smoked salmon and a barbecued steak." He repeated sighing and shaking his head a little.
"A barbecued salmon and a smoked steak" she repeated slowly while writing in her waitress pad.
"Miss! I said a smoked salmon and a barbecued steak! Please pay a little attention!" He was getting irritated with her, and Jake still wasn't here.
"Oh God! I am sorry again. I will change it right away," Well, for a hot guy, he is rude.
Jake chose that moment to make his apparition. "Sorry I'm late" he said sounding a little out of breath while taking his seat. Edward just rolled his eyes. Humans were creature of habits after all.
Bella took a deep breath and asked the new man "Would you like to order now?"
After taking his order she made her way to the kitchen, giving the order to the chef, where Alice, her best friend since … actually she could not remember since when, ambushed her.
"Bella!" she literally jumped in front of her blocking her path. Alice was a short girl, no taller than 5"2 with spiky black hair and an angel face with gentle features. "You still haven't told me! After he said that you weren't fun or feminine enough, what did you respond?" she asked with a big smile. Alice hated Newton too and was more than happy that Bella broke up with him.
"What do you think I said Alice? I am Isabella Swan! So… I just left." She said with a sour face. She was never good at facing complicated situations.
"You left? You actually left?!" Alice was fuming, screeching like a banshee on crack. "If it was me, I would have beaten him up until he throws up blood and dies!" she huffed crossing her arms across her chest. The thought of Alice beating up someone made Bella laughed. Like she could even beat a Smurf.
"It's not a big deal Al. I just felt so stupid… Thank God no one knows about that; it would be so humiliating." She said turning to make her way back inside of the room.
During this time, Edward and Jacob were sitting in their booth not really talking.
"So… how are the kids?" tentatively asked Jake.
After the death of his brother Peter two months prior, Edward decided to take his niece and nephew, little Esmeralda and Carlisle, under his care. Their mother left them after Carlisle's birth three years ago and never came back. Knowing exactly what would happen if they were sent to foster care, he didn't think twice before taking them home with him. However, the children, used to travel all the time with their father around the world, had difficulties adapting to the city life and were causing a ruckus around the house daily.
"What do you think? They are only six and three years old… Every nanny that I hired doesn't stay more than two days because of the little devils or because I fired her. I swear if she doesn't try to get in my pants and gets fired, she is either leaving the house in an ambulance or in a crazy frenzy after one of their pranks," he sighed loudly. "The nanny agency is not willing to send me nannies anymore, so I have to search one myself." Edward shook his head thinking about all the nannies he had to hire and fire in the span of two months only. Deciding to change the subject, he teased his old friend. "Hey, your mother called me a few days ago, asking me to introduce a girl to you!" He winked for good measure.
Jacob laughed loudly, "My mother is crazy! Asking Edward Cullen, divorce specialist lawyer, to introduce a girl to me!" They both laughed, the atmosphere now lighter.
Bella appeared then with their plates. "Here is your barbecued salmon, Sir," she said smiling.
Groaning, Edward clenched his fist, fighting not to lose his temper. "I asked for a smoked salmon for fuck's sake! Not a barbecued one! Are you dumb or can't you understand anything?" He was yelling but he didn't care. That girl was really too much. He looked up at her. She wasn't even listening to him; her attention seemed focused on another table.
Alice was screaming at a short bald man, stretching herself to her full height, probably trying to look scary. Well, good job on that. Bella rushed to her friend's side completely forgetting about Edward.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Bella! That person has been annoying me all night! Do something!" she demanded pointing to the man who was looking at Alice with what seemed like adoration.
"Alice! I really like you!" He looked like he was going to start bawling soon.
"But I don't like you!" Alice huffed stomping her foot.
Bella sighed loudly and turned to the crazy stalker costumer. "Sir, you've heard her, she doesn't like you. These types of situation cannot be forced. Plus, this is a public place. May I ask you to not disturb our other costumers?" she asked in a calm voice, smiling at Alice.
Still he wasn't leaving. "I won't give up! As long as you give me a chance I will be the greatest boyfriend on Earth!"
God, this is ridiculous, Bella thought.
Alice gave him a big smile "Sure, you could be the greatest! Still, there's one thing that's not good…" She paused. "You're a guy! Sorry … I am not interested in guys." Her grin widened seeing his shocked expression. Edward and Jacob were watching intently, entirely amused by the situation.
The stalker didn't seem to believe her so she went on, "Don't believe me? Then I'll prove it to you." On those words Alice turned to Bella, grabbed her face in her little hands , before crying over cheerfully "Baby!" and kissed her square on the lips in front of the stunned costumers.
Jay's Corner:
Ho-Ho-Ho (This is my best Santa Claus imitation! Be grateful!) What did you think? Like it or what?
I know a lot of things are missing. I will give explanations gradually . Like what happened with their father, and between Edward and Jake for them to be that awkward.
Please, leave me some love! Review!
Okay, before I start with my Fics Recommendations, I have to warn you: I am a mating/ possessiveward / mafiaward addict. I am serious. So don't be shocked if the stories I put in here have … you know … recurrent themes.
The first is one of my Omega's! I love her stories, so check them out ^^
The One for Me by Amaryllis-Amy (FF)
Edward was always the loner in the Cullen family, and had decided to live on his own, but this quickly changes when he meets the mate that he has been longing for, but a jealous Tanya doesn't want them to have their happily ever after. This is a story about how love can conquer anything. M for a reason.
The second one is certainly the one I read the most since I am on FF. The author drive me nuts because her stories are exactly what I love. Sweet E/B stories…
My Sweet Angel by kiseger (FF)
After Jake kissed Bella against her will in Eclipse, she can't forgive him. She decides to accept Edward's proposal and their relationship is stronger than ever. Jake's furious and loses his control. Edward drops his boundaries, with unexpected consequences. No Victoria. Lemons
Bye Sweeties!