I do not own Bleach.In the Kurosaki home, there was a brother, a pair of twins, and a crazy father. The brother was in the kitchen. That brother was Ichigo. He was eating a stick of butter.
He sighed as the cool creamy gloriousness that was butter touched his tongue and melted.
Yes he was eating a stick of butter, of real butter, in stick form, directly from the fridge. There was nothing wrong with that, right?
His sister Karin obviously thought there was since she was standing right next to him with her face in obvious disgust.
"Ichi-nii, you do know that it's practically all fat." She says pointing to the butter.
Ichigo ignored her as he started to chew on the butter. It was like heaven in his mouth. That perfect burst of salty blandness and fat. A little dribbled down his chin and Karin, started to slap the hand holding the butter.
"Okay Ichi-nii, that's enough!"
He drops his butter, on the floor.
"Oh my goodness! Ichi-nii, clean it up!"
However Ichigo ignores her and picks up the stick and begins to eat it, again.
Karin suddenly felt very frustrated and really wanted to punch him in the face right there. It wasn't like he wasn't this annoying before but it's his health she was concerned about. Who else would be her spare punching bag?
But instead of punching him, she says "Ichi-nii remember, you are what you eat." And she stomped off.
Ichigo at first decides to ignore her and keep on eating the butter. Then he started to think about her words. He takes out the stick of butter from his mouth. It was beginning to mush and soften and half of it was gone.
What did Karin mean by you are what you eat—Oh!
Suddenly something akin to realization dawned on him and he came up with this conclusion.
Did she just indirectly called me fat?!
He stood there in the kitchen with his mouth wide open almost sulking. A minute later Yuzu came down with an apron in hand.
"Oh Onii-chan! We're having chicken tonight!" she says before getting out the ingredients for dinner.
Ichigo turned his stare to her, mouth opening even wider.
Did she just indirectly called me a chicken?!
His father popped out of nowhere.
"How about beef instead!" he shouted in his happy-go-go way.
Ichigo looked at his father with a bad combination of disgust and self pride.
At least someone appreciates my strength!
But his thought was ruined when his father said, "or how about chicken cooked in butter?"
Oh, now they are calling me both a chicken and fat! Well I'll show them whose fat!
And with that he stormed off to his room were he brooded. A little part of his brain told him that maybe it was all a coincidence, that they didn't mean anything, the words. But he ignored that little part and continued to believe that they were all part of a diabolical conspiracy.
He made a plan.
The very next day…
"Yuzu? Why aren't you cooking?" asked Karin.
"Oh, Onii-chan is making dinner for us!"
What? Her brother couldn't cook to her knowledge. That's why Yuzu cooked, because no one else can.
"Dinner is served!" Ichigo said as he passed out plates. But what was on the plates was not what Karin expected.
"WHAT!! YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT THIS?!?!" she screamed at the orange glob of baby food.
"Yes."
"WELL—" finding no good comeback she screams "I'M LEAVING!"
"Wait Karin-chan!" shouted Yuzu after her sister.
"Oh, well." Ichigo says before digging into his sandwich.
Isshin stares at the weird sandwich in front of him. Cooked grind meat between buns? It looked like it was from a can.
"Son, what is this stuff?"
"Manwich, want some?"
i got this idea from a book Curse of the Campfire Weenies don't be fooled by the title, it's really creepy (i do not own the book) this is my thoughts so if you eat baby food you are a baby, if you eat manwich (sloppy joe) you are a man, if you eat goat cheese you are a goat, and if you eat a pickle you are a...sour cucumber??? *shakes head* my and my brain...
Review??