Lessons
This takes place during Act 1, not too long before the Deep Roads Expedition
It had been a rather light day in the clinic. As much as she wanted the people of Kirkwall to be healthy, Olivia would rather she and Anders had patients to deal with. Then she wouldn't be stuck failing to learn healing magic again. She almost wished she'd never asked Anders to teach her. She would have saved herself a lot of embarrassment and frustration.
"Just focus," he said, and she took a deep breath, sitting up straighter. She closed her eyes and held out her hand, palm up, drawing on the power of her magic. "Healing brings comfort and relief. It's serenity and tenderness. Think of what home feels like, or the warmth of a blanket around your shoulders on a cold winter night…"
Olivia nodded, thinking of the time she spent with Anders in the clinic, watching him heal and making potions with him. She pictured her family back in Lothering, when they were all together and alive and happy. She remembered Bethany, Carver, and herself when they were children, the summer sun shining down on them as they played in the meadows.
She muttered the incantation for the spell, chanting the words over and over, until she felt the warmth of magic in the palm of her hand. She expected to find the blue glow of healing magic in her hand, but when her eyes flew open they landed on a small ball of flame. It wasn't exactly the kind of warmth she was going for.
The small flame flared, growing larger and uncontrolled as Olivia's anger got the better of her. With an exasperated huff she balled her hand into a fist, extinguishing the flames before she accidentally burnt down the clinic. She buried her face in her hands, desperately trying not toscream.
"Liv?" Anders murmured, gently curling his fingers around her wrist. The sudden touch startled her and made her jerk upright, but she let him take her hand in his, his thumbs slowly kneading the palm of her hand. "You need to relax."
"Anders, I—"
"Relax," he said, and it wasn't a request—it was a demand. Olivia sighed, trying to listen to him. The hand massage definitely helped, and soon enough she was as calm as she'd been before. Anders cradled her hand in his, calling on his own magic. She watched, amazed as always, as the warmth and glow of his healing magic enveloped her hand, familiar, pleasant tingles moving up her arm. She closed her eyes and focused on that feeling, trying to conjure up her own magic to mix with his.
It didn't work.
Disheartened, Olivia tugged her hand away from Anders' and shook her head. "This is never going to work," she said. "I'm just horrible at this."
"It's not your fault, sweetheart," he started, an apologetic smile on his lips. "I guess I'm not as good a teacher as I thought I was."
"It's not that! You're a great teacher!" she protested. Olivia let out a frustrated groan, clenching and unclenching her hands to keep herself from accidentally summoning more fire. "I'm just a horrible student. I always was. My father could never get me to heal, so I don't know why I thought I could now." She looked away from Anders, unable to meet his gaze, embarrassed and ashamed of herself. "I've only ever been good at destruction, not creation. Flames and lightning, that's it," she continued, frowning. "What kind of mage can't cast a simple healing spell?"
He placed his fingers under her chin, turning her head to face his. He tentatively brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, and Olivia swallowed hard, her eyes on his.
"There's nothing wrong with not being able to heal," he said softly.
"But it's not just healing that I can't do. All I can do is primal, elemental, and force magic," she argued. "No spirit, no entropy, no arcane, and certainly no creation."
"I've seen you use the arcane," he pointed out, and she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, the telekinetic bits. It might as well be force."
"Well, I can't do entropy, either."
She glared at him. "But you can do everything else… and you're not even just a regular healer, you're a spirit healer."
He sighed, fixing her with a serious look. "Liv, you have to embrace what you're good at," he started. "You have so much raw potential, and you're already one of the most powerful mages I've ever met."
"Really?"she asked, feeling a little less hopeless than she had before.
He nodded, a thoughtful expression on his handsome face. "You could still benefit from some control, though," he said with an amused laugh. Olivia bit back a grin. That was an understatement.
"I know," she replied. "I just… I feel my magic, just like I do my emotions, you know? It's hard to separate them sometimes."
"We could work on that instead," Anders offered, and she nodded enthusiastically.
"I think I'd like that very much."
He smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. He held out his hand, a small ball of flame bursting to life in the palm of his hand. "Fire first?"
Olivia theatrically wiggled her fingers before conjuring up her own ball of flames. "Fire first," she agreed.