Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers or any characters involved in the hit franchise.

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I didn't think I could do this at first.

Sure, the idea of meeting the world famous Mario was enticing in the beginning, but after seeing these guys interact with one another, I couldn't help but feel like I was experiencing a whacked out acid trip. The green dinosaur wasn't so bad… Then the pink ball walked down the stairs and I started feeling queasy. Normally, I could handle extremes like that. Maybe the new environment had me weak in the knees or something. I was pretty sure I wasn't genuinely nervous… Then again, I've never honestly known what it's like to be nervous. Perhaps this was my time.

I walked around the living room for a while – huge room, by the way – and picked up a couple of their props and trinkets. It was obvious that they had the same love for petty objects as regular people, which made them seem all the more real. This wasn't a dream.

After observing a trophy that I had previously picked up, I could hear footsteps coming my way. Then: "Don't touch that." The golden trophy, gleaming in the sunshine that peeked in between the wall and the red velvet curtains, was snatched out of my hands. I wasn't too sure who this one was yet, but by the looks of her delicate dress, I'd automatically assumed this was one of the princesses. I kept getting them mixed up, for some reason.

The princess placed the trophy back in its place on the marble shelf and looked up at me with a small smile. "No offense, but we can't have people endangering our prizes." I nodded. "You're Snake, right?" I nodded again. "Silent type, huh?" I stood in my place, staring at the fabric on her dress. She backed away slowly, probably knowing full well that she wouldn't get a response out of me. I watched her as she walked up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

I went over to the massive television and turned it on. Boy, was I surprised. The sound it put out was enough to send me stumbling backwards and tumbling onto the leather couch. All of the pictures showed extraordinarily clear and seemed to jump out as if reaching for my body. Where'd they get the money for all of this stuff? If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought they were an elite band of thieves.

Apparently, one of the others could hear the noise that I unfortunately aroused. The footsteps were quick and light, so I assumed it was one of the featherweights. "Turn that down!" Everybody was on a roll with telling me what to do today. I did as I was told, but not without a moment of defiant hesitation, of course. I looked behind me to see Fox rushing down the stairs with an irritated expression on his face. That explained the unexpected deep voice.

"You must be Snake," he said to me with the frustration withering away from his features. I disregarded his comment to ask a question of my own.

"Who was the girl in the dress?"

"Care to be more specific?"

"Nevermind." I wasn't interested in getting into a conversation with him. I just wanted a quick answer. Without acknowledging him further, I completely turned off the television and walked past him to the kitchen. It wasn't occupied at the moment and I was feeling a bit hungry, so I decided to help myself. I opened the refrigerator. Nothing good. I searched the pantry. Nothing.

"You're gonna have to wait," I heard Fox say from the other side of the kitchen. "Lots of folks here so it's hard to keep food stocked."

I grunted, leaving Fox behind again so I could explore the mansion. The hallways were much too gaudy for my tastes. The walls were covered with portraits of the others. After enough walking, I came across the portrait of the princess from before. Engraved in the lower part of the frame was Zelda's name.

"Is that the one you were asking me about?"

Was this guy following me?

Fox walked up to my side, staring at the same portrait that had caught my attention. "Princess of Hyrule. Fights with ma—…"

"I'll learn on my own," I interjected, going back the way I originally came from and wandering up the stairs. Hopefully, he had gotten the hint that I didn't want to talk to him.

Once at the top of the stairs, I observed the new corridor. The doors clued me in to the fact that this was where the individual rooms were located, and I remembered I had yet to find mine. I passed by doors of varying design, from old fashioned and regally constructed to futuristic, sliding types. They were all in alphabetical order, starting with Bowser at the front of the hall. I went over everyone's names in my head – or at least the names I could remember – and realized who my room would be next to.

Samus…Lucky me.

I approached our rooms, glancing back and forth between the dramatically different door designs (her door was constructed from a rusty orange colored futuristic metal compound with yellow and red accents; mine was made of an awkward bluish-grey metal and looked as if it had been attacked by Metal Gears). For some reason, I felt tempted to enter her room as opposed to mine. I thought about it for a split second, considering the consequences of my actions if I were to be caught.

Then again, when was I ever caught?

I put my hand to the door and was greeted by a glowing "S" insignia, which emitted an eerie green light that scanned my body.

"Scan result: Solid Snake."

I held my breath.

"Threat level: Zero percent."

How insulting.

"Access: granted."

The door slid up and into the ceiling. I walked through the open space and into a darkness that was all too new for me. The door shot back down, blocking off any and all chances for escape. I felt uneasy again.

Once I had gotten far enough into the room, I felt a bit more comfortable, even taking the liberty to observe her prizes while using my miniature flashlight. Evidence of her space travels included extraterrestrial weaponry and gadgets that really couldn't be classified by my earthly mind. My knowledge of things like that was limited at best.

"Scan result: Samus Aran."

I cringed.

"Threat level: Variant percentage."

I flattened myself against a wall and turned off my flashlight, trying desperately to stabilize my breathing. I was in trouble.

"Access: granted."

I heard the door retreat into the ceiling. Nobody entered, but somebody was blocking off the light from the hallway I slowly turned my head. God, it was massive… Of all the things I had ever seen, the vision of the infamous bounty hunter was enough to disperse my wits. I suddenly had the urge to leap out and ask her questions, yet I also felt the need to restrain myself. If I could just stay quiet for a little while longer…

I heard the floor creak beneath the weight of Samus's armor as she made her entry. Her visor, as well as her legs, arms, and shoulders, emitted the same green as the "S" scanner on the door. I couldn't escape this one. She set off too much light. My chest heaved heavy breaths.

Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the room. She turned towards me slowly, intensely, like a monster. My eyes locked upon her form and I froze in place.

A blue light shined at the end of her arm and was aimed at me. "Intruder," the emotionless, distorted voice said to me.

The best reply I could some up with was a simple word, which basically summed up all of my thoughts into four letters.

"Damn."