Why am I so miserable that it isn't raining on my wedding day? The clouds over Forks decided to part for this blessed occasion and I just keep wishing they'll come back and hide me. It isn't that I didn't want to marry Edward. I love him more than anyone, ever. I'd made my choice and Jacob knew that. But I also knew that Jacob was missing. He was now endlessly running through the Hoh forest; he might never be human again. It's all my fault. Even now, my chest felt tight as I suppressed a new sobbing episode and a tear trickled down my face, but thanks to Alice's foresight, I was wearing thick layers of waterproof mascara. Edward squeezed my white, gloved hand and the coolness blurred my vision of Jacob running through the underbrush, howling. I looked at him and tried to smile, it came easier than I thought as I gazed into his golden eyes. He numbed my stinging cheeks with his breath and I buried my face in his neck. "Edward, I love you. You know that, right? No matter what, I choose you."
"I know that, Bella. I don't have to read your mind to know. You've given up a lot for me, maybe too much. Are you sure you are ready to go through with this?"
"Don't ever, ever ask me that question again. I am ready. I want to be your wife." I practically stomped my foot. He grinned and kissed the top of my head.
"I won't doubt you again. You're turning out to be much tougher than I ever imagined. I may not need to turn you into a vampire…" He chuckled in his effortless way. Soundly punching him in the gut only made my fingers hurt, but he pretended to get the wind knocked out of him.
"Now don't start with that! You're going to do it. Otherwise, you know I have a backup plan." Even though he was standing more than twenty feet off, Carlisle looked in my direction and raised his champagne glass. He winked at Edward and turned to Esme, engaged in conversation again.
Edward let out a sigh and quickly pulled me to his chest, slightly crushing my crisp, white dress. "I'll do anything for you after today. Anything. You just have to say yes."
"I already did. And I'll say it in front of everyone." I looked into his eyes once more and they pled with me. I nodded and smiled resolutely. Then Alice came for me.
"Bella! You need to come with me. Why are you out here in the foyer conversing with my brother! He can't see you before the ceremony! My plans are ruined!" She looked honestly angry with him.
"Now Alice, Bella came and got me. She can't be away from me and you left her tied up in curlers for hours. Be fair." He looked at her with his head tilted at a childish angle and she gave up.
"Just come with me, we'll still make him surprised." And with that she firmly grasped my hand and took me back into the cursed dressing room. After twenty more minutes of powdering, primping, pinning, and other tedious aspects of making me beautiful, I still couldn't outshine the angels who stood next to me, looking into the mirror, Alice on my right and Rosalie on my left.
"She's perfect." Alice breathed in relief.
"Truly, she is." Rosalie agreed. "I couldn't think of a thing more, except this." Digging into her pocket, Rosalie pulled out a delicate, antique brooch carved out of ivory. "It's something old. I wanted to give it to you. It was a present from my mother, for my engagement." She pinned it at my neck, and the effect was striking, even on me. The muted shade of ivory played off my neck and I touched it in gratitude.
"Thank you Rosalie. This means so much to me." I knew how painful the memories of what would have been her wedding were. I thought I saw her squint her eyes as if to cry, but no tears came.
"You are making a big sacrifice, but I think you're doing it for the right reasons. I love Edward as you do and I know he will never betray you. I know now how much you mean to each other. If you ever thought that I disapproved, I want you to know that I don't now. I can only be happy for you." Shakily placing my veil over my face, Rosalie kissed my cheek and I felt her cool breath tame the redness that was building in my face. I was ready. As much as I hated the trappings of a traditional ceremony, I would do anything for Edward, just like he would do anything for me. We were beyond this. To kneel at a padded altar meant nothing compared to the promises we'd already made to each other. This was minor compared to what was coming. I almost laughed at my former anxieties, then I picked up my bouquet and stood ready at the door.
Charlie sidled up to me, almost embarrassed and I slipped my arm under his. "Dad, I love you. Don't ever forget that." I said dad and this time and I meant it. Charlie had become more to me in the past year than he'd ever been. His frustration with Edward was worn away and he stood next to me as any father would, terrified that his daughter would be entrusted to someone else. Someone new. That his role as primary caretaker was being diminished.
"I love you too, Bells." He meant to say more, but he couldn't allow himself to cry, and then the music started. It was not a traditional wedding march, but a much more ornate version that Edward had composed himself in the weeks prior to the wedding. All the Cullens tired of hearing the familiar melody, but I didn't. I was mesmerized and I walked down the entire aisle without tripping, Charlie taking longer strides to keep up with me. I locked my gaze with Edward's and I never faltered, to his surprise. He was bracing himself to pick me up off the rose petal-strewn carpet if needs be, but it wasn't necessary. I lightly tripped up the stairs to the altar and let Charlie kiss me tenderly on the forehead before he placed my veil over my face again and sat in the nearest pew. I hardly noticed his departure before Edward took my hand. Shivering involuntarily, I turned to him and smiled. "Are you cold?" He mouthed.
"No." I whispered back. "Just excited." My smile stretched farther than I ever thought it would and his matched. Nothing worried me at that moment. As the music faded out and the guests settled back into their seats, I glanced over at the stained-glass windows that were filtering in soft sunlight before the ceremony. But the sunlight was gone, replaced by thick clouds. Before the priest even started speaking I heard the patter of raindrops and it soothed my raw nerves.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Edward and Bella. Let us all remember that love is…" But I didn't hear any more than that. Neither did Edward. In the back of my mind I faintly heard my mother sob with each line the priest uttered, but I stared into Edward's eyes, never looking away. We repeated our vows, slipped rings onto each other's fingers, but we couldn't break away from the moment. Then the priest soundly tapped Edward's shoulder and repeated himself for the third time, "you may now KISS the bride." We snapped out of our reverie and my breath caught in my throat as Edward kissed me. Every time I thought he'd stop, he didn't. It was almost embarrassing. But I didn't mind too much. After nearly two minutes of this, he finally pulled away, smartly grabbed my arm and the congregation laughed, then clapped. I laughed along with them and we practically ran down the aisle, my feet grazing the floor and stirring up petals in my wake.
Jasper stood ready at the door of the Vanquish, which had been decorated by Alice. It almost seemed inappropriate to write "Just Married" on a car with that kind of power. Luckily she opted not to put clanging tin cans in the rear; she was much too tasteful for that. Carlisle pulled Edward aside and whispered something in to his ear, placing what looked like airline tickets into his tux pocket. I winced and knew they were expensive. Then I glanced over the crowd. My mom and dad stood teary eyed in the front of the throng. I pulled away from Edward for just a moment. "Mom, I love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you."
"My baby!" She practically sobbed. "I love you too. I'm so happy for you sweetie." She paused, and then began again with a different tone of voice, "Now, I want to talk to you about a couple things before tonight…" she trailed off, looking secretive.
"No! Jeez mom. Absolutely not. You already had your chance. Don't make me embarrassed!" I looked into her mascara-streaked face seriously.
"Alright then. But you remember, we Swan women are…"
"Ugh! Don't even finish that! You aren't allowed." She smiled too wide and I turned beet red again. At that moment, Edward saved me. He put out his hand and hoisted me into the car in one movement, train and all. I hung out the window waving to everyone and tossed my bouquet as a continual cascade of petals showered down along with a light rain.
Driving off even quicker than he usually would, Edward lightly steered with one hand and pulled my veil off with the other. "Don't mess up my hair!" I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my mouth. He didn't answer, but fervently kissed my neck, not looking at the road. Before I could even gather myself, he'd reduced me to my former state of fainting at every kiss. My mind swam in and out of consciousness as he covered my face, neck, and arms with kisses. I gasped for air and blindly grasped for the window button, unsuccessful at rolling it down. Before I knew where we were going, we were parked. He pulled me out of the car at the edge of a forest. I knew this place, but my knees buckled under me and he scooped me up and started into a run.
My senses sharpened under the canopy of trees and I knew where he was taking me. Now fully conscious, I kissed his neck as he carried me on his back to our meadow. Upon arrival, I noticed it was different. In the middle, among a patch of vibrant purple wildflowers, was a spacious, white tent. The rain turned to a downpour at that moment and we hurried inside. "Did you do this for us?" I realized the question was stupid as soon as I asked it. Inside the tent was an array of flowers, and surprisingly enough, the ornate bed he'd bought for me only months ago. I had no idea how he got it there. And then it hit me, he wasn't kidding. This was it.
"Mmhmm. I did." He said little, playing with a lock of my hair.
"So, uh… what about the reception?" I realized that we would be wanted back soon.
"It's taken care of. We'll be there on time." He breathed in deeply and expertly pulled a pin out of my hair, allowing it all to fall down in one movement. I sat on the edge of the bed, drumming my fingers on the gold, embroidered duvet. Biting my lip, I looked at my feet and Edward leaned away, puzzled. "Are you nervous?"
I couldn't answer, but my hands shook. It wasn't anticipating my own reaction. Every day for the past two months he had to put up numerous boundaries so that I would keep my end of the bargain. But now my insecurities surfaced. "What is it?" He asked, holding my trembling fingers."
I looked into his now calm eyes and regained my composure. "It's just… now, it's real. You are my husband. I'm your…" and before I could say it I started crying.
"Bella! What's wrong?" He looked worried. He pulled his silk handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed my eyes. "Do you regret what just happened?"
I shook my head. "It's just overwhelming. You're… mine." And I sobbed again, burying my face in his Armani suit.
"What can I do? Tell me." He implored, stroking my cheek gently. I turned my face away from him and blew out some air.
"Just lay by me for a little bit while I calm down." And I turned on my side, facing the flowers. He aligned his body next to mine and held me tightly to his chest. He kept whispering reassurances in my ear. After a few minutes, waiting for reality to set in, I turned back over to him and kissed him unexpectedly. I blushed.
"Hi Mrs. Cullen." He smiled his wry half-smile and before I knew it, he was balancing his body weight over me.
"Hi." I nervously giggled. In the blackness of his tux I felt safe; I knew he would never hurt me. I knew I was his forever. "So, um, about the promise?" I sheepishly whispered, kissing below his jawline.
"Oh that?" I heard a low growl build in his chest and I involuntarily squealed.
We made it back to the reception on time due to Edward's above-average driving skills and, of course, the Vanquish helped a little. Stumbling in the door, Alice immediately pulled me over and thumped Edward on the chest with her miniature fist. He shrugged and she dragged me into the dressing room again.
"Is this a twig in your hair? Where did he take you?!" As if she didn't know. She worked quickly, pulling out a small bit of moss and rearranging the pins in my hair with little regard to my comfort.
"Ouch!" I reached back and she slapped my hand away. In only a couple minutes my hairdo was restored to its former glory. No one would ever suspect. I grinned and giggled to myself, glad that no one could read my thoughts.