You never do get used to the smell of rotting flesh. Even worse than that, the sound of teeth splitting into someone's seemingly tough skin as if it were nothing and tearing it off with a loud disentangling rip. It was a lot louder than you'd expect.

So if you were wondering how I felt eight months after the outbreak, I'd still say nauseous.

Zombies, or whatever your preferred term is, are not proper gentlefolk when they eat, obviously. They are starving cavemen who only seek to fill their bellies even after they're full. With gaping mouths, they smack and chew on whatever living being without a care in the world. Some even disgustingly slurp on the pool of blood in carcasses, that now resembled human bowls. Every so often, you'll see the remanence of what's left of those zombies with their stomaches ripped open from the overflow of flesh they stuffed down their gullet, revealing bloodied mush.

No matter how many of these horrific scenes that you saw, you never truly got over it. Each sight is burned into the back of your eyeballs. The second you begin to think about it, all the other similar memories flooded through and circulated. I know theres a specific psychological term, but I wouldn't know it.

Sometimes it was a miracle if one of us hadn't had some sort of panic attack just over that.

Currently, we were in a smaller town that was like every town that we had seen in the last few months; fucking depressing. Blood splattered and stained on concrete, on unwashed cars, on the sides of buildings. Every town now was a ghost town. The buildings shifted and made noise like old creaky houses. The only thing that cut through the silence was the sound of feeding a block down from our location.

It made my stomach churn.

I gripped the handle of my bat so hard it made my knuckles turn bright white. The pain of my grip was the only thing keeping me from one of those panic attacks.

Sometimes I could tune out the horror by thinking of old songs I used to play. Then again, I could never hum it like my body craved to. Not out here anyways.

"Marceline," someone whispered behind me. I lazily glanced over my shoulder to see a familiar face, drenched in sweat. His scruff of a beard fit his square masculine jaw. The only thing that didn't match his appearance was his childlike eyes, even now they sparkled with excitement. God, was it refreshing. "Look what I found."

Before I had time to even comprehend what he had said, he brought a snickers bar up about two inches from my face with his large calloused hands.

"There's a bunch more in my bag." He stated, gently placing the delicacy in my hand. He was really thoughtful to remember my favorite candy, even after only having said it once.

"Good find, Jake." I said lowly, yet unconvincingly so. I was still sick from what I had just previously watched and he seemingly understood. Thankfully he chose not to acknowledge it and gave a bright smile instead. In this moment, that's all I could ever ask for.

He rolled up the sleeves on his military grade jacket, huffed and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. "We just got finished loading. Do you want me to watch? We still have a few minutes to raid the area."

"No, I'm fine. They're busy." I motioned over to the feeding frenzy that was happening about a block down, not that he could miss it by the excruciating noises echoing off the nearby buildings.

"We're lucky for their sacrifice." Another voice interrupted, snapping my attention to it's owner. This one came from our group leader, Bonnibel. She too held a smile on her features, but hers was different, almost sweeter in a way. This wasn't uncommon for the whole group though. As much as they took survival seriously, there was also a lot of laughter that ensued. After 2 months of traveling with her and her group, one thing's for certain, they made life more bearable. "We're about ready to head out, you about ready?"

I gave a nod and opened the truck's drivers side door, the others joining me.

Today it was just the three of us. We had a slightly bigger group back home that doubled that number, but lately we've been having to split our focus on securing our base. After a large hoard traveled about a mile away from home, we realized how unprepared we were.

"Tired?" Bonnibel asked from the backseat. I felt Jake's eyes on me too. Maybe I hadn't avoided the conversation after all.

I gave a half hearted shrug, trying to make it seem like a big deal when I said, "Just got to me, is all."

Bonnie nodded, but I could still feel her eyes on the back of my head. "Did you have a panic attack?" She pushed.

"Nope. I think I'll be fine. Takes more exposure to get over it, right?"

From what I could tell, she knew better than to take my words at full value, that I was trying not to worry anyone. She wasn't blind.

"Remember when went out to the FedEx building?" Yes, I remembered. We had found a way into the FedEX shipping facility where we had a blast unboxing all sorts of useful items. In one box we had even found a short sword with this green toxic logo that ironically read Zombiegear. Of course, as luck would have it, our fun was cut short when we were loading up our finds. We nearly made it out by the skin of our teeth as a large horde suddenly came out of nowhere. Jake drove while she cried in my arms in the backseat. None of us were immune to the mental games that this apocalypse keeps throwing at us. "If you hadn't pushed me into the car when you did, we all would have been goners."

I wasn't sure why she brought it up, besides possibly showing me that I'm allowed to show weakness too. "You would have done the same for me."

I caught her smile before I turned my attention back to the road. Within a few minutes Jake was out like a light, snoring in the passenger's seat behind me.

"Hey Marcy," I looked up at the rearview mirror to see her bright blue eyes already searching for mine. "I'm really glad you decided to stay with us."

Life was hell before I met them. When the outbreak occurred I was living with my boyfriend at the time. He and his friends had easily taken over a small section of a town and set up walls. Within a blink of an eye the power got to his head. I didn't agree with his tyranny. It's not like anyone else did either, but with how chaotic everything had become, no one was willing to leave the safety net he provided-even with the outrageous rules he set in place.

I guess I was the only one stupid enough to leave. So I wandered alone for a few weeks before Bonnie and them happened to stumble upon me huddled up in an old office building, practically starving.

"Yeah, me too."

As soon as we began approaching what we were currently considering home, it was clear that our group made a large amount of progress. Most windows on the bottom level had been boarded up and the start of a fence was currently being put up. The apartment building was adjacent to two neighborhood fence lines, which helped with the amount of fencing needed.

The base we set up was in a large incomplete two story building made of concrete. The windows and outside had been finished, but the inside was barren. Thankfully all of the walls inside had been completed including most electrical work, but plumbing hadn't been. The only thing in the bathrooms were pipes that stuck out a few inches off the ground. We thought about trying to figure out how we could set something up, but it just wasn't possible without running water.

From what we guessed, this was supposed to be some sort of small apartment complex.

We made do with a good situation though and made the renovations to fit our needs. Surprisingly, stores like Lowe's and Home Depot weren't as raided as you would expect. We took all of the necessary supplies in a few trips: Nails, tacks, new doors and locks, a generator, a few house plants, tools and wooden boards. We packed everything we could into Jake's pickup truck and started on our projects.

Being alive was a miracle in itself. 30% of the population was gone within a week's time, within almost a month that number wasn't far from hitting 65%. Turns out even though we had guns, it didn't protect those who weren't fit enough to run, those who couldn't find a safe place to hide or those who weren't observant enough to stay away from those recently turned. You didn't necessarily have to be smart to survive, just have enough common sense to know what was going on.

"Man, that's a big difference." Jake stated, admiring the work as he got out of the truck. The wall was made out of both fence boards and metal sheets. Even though it wasn't the prettiest sight, I think it made everyone feel like we were finally getting somewhere.

A head peeped out from behind the makeshift wall with a toothy boyish grin. "We're making really good progress; and Prismo thinks we may be able to put together a temporary gate by the end of the night." This was Finn, much like his older brother Jake he was strong willed and did everything in his power to cheer everyone up. Contrary to Jake, he wasn't gruff. He had short blonde hair that was always hidden under a now off-white ball cap. He had an average build, but had the energy of a five year old and the flexibility of a gymnastics coach.

Bonnie's hand rested on my shoulder, giving a light squeeze. "I'm sure adding a few hands would pick up the speed. Busy work keeps our minds off things." I wasn't sure what to say, so I dug my hands deep in my pockets and gave a nod. "I'll unload the truck and keep watch, you help Jake, okay?"

Before I could even answer Jake had wrapped his arm around my shoulder. And before you ask, yes he was always like this. "Then lets start, partner." He said excitedly with his usual goofy laugh, dragging me along with him.

The night went by pretty fast after that. We had attracted a small amount of attention from the hammering echoing off the surroundings, but not more than a handful of zombies here and there. By sundown, the wall and a makeshift gate was complete.

We all sat close together inside one of the apartments for dinner, the room lit only by a flashlight in the middle of the room. But unlike all of the other places we had stayed at, this place seemed so different. Maybe because it was practically untouched by what had happened out there. There was no blood in sight, no broken glass, no zombies inside to surprise us, and most of all no haunting memories.

The room was alive with laughter and it was like music to my ears. The only thing better would be...well...music.

The six of us sat in a circle, continuing to tell crazy stories about before everything and even moments that had happened recently. Bonnie was just to the left of me, Jake to the right of me. To his right was Finn, then B-mo and Prismo.

"Marceline," Finn peeped up, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "do you remember when that dumbass zombie saw us from the third story and literally fell of the rails and offed itself?"

I did recall. It was my first time scavenging with them and we were in a large open building. If you think of those really nice expensive office buildings like in movies, that almost perfectly depicted what the place looked like. "I think you're forgetting the second one that jumped off the rail right after it." I snickered.

"You know what I miss?" Prismo suddenly asked, changing the subject.

"Bread?" Bonnie interjected. Everyone sighed at the thought. It had been months since any of us ate any bread-like substance. Not that it wasn't possible, it just took some uncommon resources to make. And don't even get me started on how much I missed dairy products.

"Showers?" B-mo asked. Of course everyone agreed to that. We were almost always covered in dirt, sweat and blood. We did have a place to bathe though, if you didn't mind the smell of river water.

Prismo nodded. "Well yes, but the one thing I miss more than showers are phones."

Jake chuckled. "We still have those, you know. You can find them on just about every zombie."

"But it's not the same." He argued. "There's no wifi, and most people stopped downloading their songs a while ago because they used Spotify. You can't download new games or go on social media because the signals have been down for months. Plus, a lot of the ones you find are cracked or shattered."

"So what you're saying is, you were addicted to your phone?" Bonnie asked, adjusting her position. I had hardly noticed it, but she had scooted over slightly closer to me and I could practically feel the heat radiating off of her. With this cold fall night, I wanted nothing more than to use her as a space heater.

"Oh, don't imply you weren't." He laughed. "I just wish I could go through old photos and remember some of my friends faces. Does that makes sense?"

It did. I had an active social life. I played at bars and cafes in my free time and met so many amazing musicians. I even made friends with the bartenders and baristas. I missed it and I often think about the life that I had to leave behind. My best friend-

"Yeah," I said, interrupting my own thoughts. "Thank makes sense."

The morning sun appeared among the horizon in a cloudless sky, but damn was it bright. None of us had thought of searching for blackout curtains until then. The thin curtains we had now bathed the room in a soft red light.

I didn't hesitate to embrace it as I had been in and out of sleep for the past thirty minutes. To my surprise, when I looked around the room I saw B-mo sitting up reading through a book. He was always so quiet, I hadn't even heard him turning the pages.

Guess I'll get a headstart.

I took a can of leftovers from the night before and made my way out onto the balcony to watch the horizon. It was almost a morning routine. No matter what time I ended up falling asleep, I was usually the first one up.

As soon as I stepped outside I could hear a low growl of a random zombie walking down the road, completely ignoring our home. Even from this distance, I could see a piece of flesh fall of from it's mouth area and I immediately lost my appetite.

As long as I was quiet, there wouldn't be any problems.

I heard soft footfalls behind me and then a weight against my back. Arms slowly slithered around my waist and I turned stiff. As threatened as I felt in that moment, I quickly overcame it when I heard her yawn, "G'morning..." I motioned over to the zombie that was stumbling around outside of our newly forged walls and I felt her nod into my shoulder. "Good morning, Marceline." She said in a much softer voice than before.

"Morning, Bon."

"How did you sleep?"

Could she tell that I had a rough night? "I've had better nights." I sighed, handing over the can of leftovers in my hand. My stomach wouldn't be settled for a little while.

She let go of me so she could lean on the railings instead. Her dirty blonde hair was in a disheveled mess, but I'm sure mine wasn't any better. She gladly took the food from me and immediately started digging in as if she hadn't eaten in a while.

"What happened?"

It was partly because I didn't feel like being pushed about it that I complied. "I had a dream about an old friend. The last memory of her, if you catch my drift." There was a flicker of sadness and worry in her eyes, but only for a moment. That next moment she had gripped my shirt and pull me against her in a loving hug. If I wasn't aware of it, my fight or flight response could have easily kicked in and ruined the moment. I wasn't used to the sudden movement and it not being violent in any way. Plus I wasn't used to this much affection from her, or...well...anyone.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into the crook of my neck. Her warm breath against my skin sent a chill down my spine. Hopefully I was able to play it off cool.

I managed to give a breathy, "It's fine."

"It's not." She argued, pulling me against her as her grip tightened. As much as I wanted to pull away, I had to admit it felt nice. "No one should have to witness that."

"But everyone has." I whispered, relaxing only slightly. "Jake and watched his wife...B-mo watched his parents...I'm sure we've all watched what happened to friends. Not to add all of the crazy shit we see on a daily basis. We're all fucked up, Bon."

She grunted. "Hug me back, you jackass." I wasn't sure what to make of the name calling, but it was only then that I realized how stiff I had become. Ruggedly so. I uttered out an apology under my breath and draped my arms around her shoulders. I honestly didn't want her to think I was overseeing her kindness. "Regardless, I think you keep forgetting that you're not alone anymore. And you're right we're all fucked up, but at least we're alive." I hinted the slightest bit of urgency in her voice. "We have each other to look after. And you're a part of this fucked up family too."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. Even though I know I had been openly accepted into their little group, I had been also thinking in more of an individualist mindset instead of the collectivist mindset that Bonnibel held. Maybe one day I would be able to repay her for the opportunity she's given me.

"Thank you."

I felt her nose run against my jawline as she pulled away, which gave me a jolt of what I guessed was anxiety. Probably from all of those stupid zombie movies where you see them go for your neck. Vampires too I guess.

"I'm here if you need me-Jake and them included."

"I know."

With a nod she made her way inside the apartment and closed the door as quietly as humanly possible. She reminds me a lot of Keila, which made my heart ache at that thought. But...also a little joyful after the pain subsided.