It's been years since Chara and Asriel destroyed the barrier. Three decades to be exact. Everything's been ironed out in that amount of time; the relationship with humans, monster's integration into the surface, advancement of technology, etcetera, etcetera… The transition isn't so smooth, but so much has changed in such time. Thirty years was such a short time for monsters. Everything else may have changed in the slightest but…
Sans was still the same.
He's the same lazy (well, at least he thinks he is lazy) skeleton he's always been. He now lives in Surface City, the monster capital in the surface. This is why Asgore should never be left in charge of naming anything, he thought. Stating the obvious was his specialty. Sans does gigs as a stand-up comedian, being requested left and right in so many bars and events here in the surface. He's still interested in science; still work in the laboratory of the Royal Scientist, Gaster, along with Alphys, until just this week, that is, now that the threat was gone. No more timelines resetting, stopping and getting detroyed. He sells hot dogs, and pranks people for laughs in his spare time. But there is still something missing. He still feels empty. Sans found it odd, though. He's got a great life here in the surface, more than what he could ask for. He's got friends that love him, a house he shares with three more people (his brother, Undyne and Alphys; they've got a large house), and more money than he and his brother, Papyrus, can spend in a lifetime. The monster's currency, which was gold, apparently had a high value for humans.
Maybe this emptiness was just because of the timelines they couldn't remember. It showed in their readings in the lab, the fluctuations in time and space, but it seemed to have stopped, their own timeline no longer rewinding and unwinding. The source of his fear of all their efforts going to waste, of life being totally pointless, was gone now. Maybe his brain was trying to fill in the gaps but was failing miserably, longing for those lost memories. Yeah, that had to be it…
Sans liked Toriel, more than a friend should. He was younger than her by a century, more or less, but he was old enough to know that she isn't interested in something like a romantic relationship with him. She was a married woman, for crying out loud! It pushed his self-esteem lower to even think that he would even consider dating a married woman, consider being a heartless, home-wrecker. He feels like the scum of the earth. Oblivious to Sans' feelings, she suggests that he should try to get out more, find someone to love. He's fine with that. It meant that he was definitely good at keeping his reactions and feelings in check. He did not scream out that he was once in love with her or anything. If he did, he could already imagine the startled expressions of everyone in the room; Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, and Toriel herself, would freak out, he was sure. They all agreed to that (except Sans, but he was too lazy to voice out his concerns) and started to discuss about dating.
"I know a co-worker, you remember Elle, my fellow teacher? Would you like me to introduce you with each other?"
"HOW ABOUT YOU MEET MY FRIENDS AT THE UNIVERSITY, SANS? I AM SURE YOU WOULD LIKE SOME OF THEM! THERE WILL BE A PARTY AT JAY'S ON THE NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT, I COULD INTRODUCE YOU TO THEM THEN!"
"H-how about y-you try Tinder, er, or some other dating site…? Y-you c-could start there i-if you're not particularly up to attending social gatherings…"
"I think Sans could use the exposure to society and sunlight－"
"to brighten my mood?"
"OH MY GOD SANS! WHEN WILL YOU STOP MAKING PUNS EVER SO RANDOMLY?! YOU ARE NARROWING YOUR DATING POOL WITH THAT EVEN MORE!"
"No, you pile of bones! TO TOUGHEN YOU UP TO THE TRIALS OF THE WORLD!"
Of course, he tried everything that they suggested that week. Elle the spider was Muffet's younger sister and was…really nice but not really the type to laugh at puns and related humor. She liked…darker themes. He met weird monsters over the internet and while hanging out at the park or at Grillby's. Talking to random strangers was not working out well for him, until Papyrus' friend's party that is. Sure, the place was…packed and it made him uncomfortable and reminded of the Underground all over again. Jammed. Cramped…so little space to breathe…so little space to move…monsters and humans, alike, dancing… He had to get away from the dance floor. He went to the food and drinks table. There seemed to be a lot of room behind it, so he stayed there instead, while fishing for some chips to dip in the cheese. He got a ketchup bottle from the table and took a long swig before pouring ketchup into the bowl of melted cheese. No one will know…well, except for one human in a tank top looking at them, giggling a little bit on the right side of the table.
"You love ketchup so much don't you?" the stranger said. they look oddly familiar.
"the ketchup will make this dip taste gouda, maybe even better!"
She laughs, genuinely getting it and finding the joke funny. She takes a chip and dips it in the ketchup-topped cheese bowl. That…caught Sans off-guard because aside from the Dreemurr family, no one else laughed much at his puns. Puns were a play with words…His jokes at the comedy bar were a little meaner and had an element of belittling others (and also himself), and was more like telling a funny, stupid story, but it works like magic. Everyone laughs. Little did everyone know, there are times when Sans could not think of a follow up joke. This is one of those rare times. It didn't help that he could feel the kid paying attention to him…a tinge of blue appeared on his cheeks. "h-have we met?" He couldn't help but ask. That feeling…was increasing steadily.
"I'd remember meeting a skeleton anywhere," they simply replied, but that didn't seem to make the blush in Sans' cheeks dim. "Naaw, don't look so blue, instead, say cheese. It'll brighten your face up with a smile!"
Sans laughed. Hey, he's supposed to be the comedian here! He can't just back down from this amateur!
"Oh, wait, you already have a pretty smile! Maybe you don't need to take my advice after all?"
Were they flirting with him? He decided to ignore that thought. "this party was kinda getting me down tibia honest, stress is getting to me lately, femur reasons than one! i did need a little mood booster. thanks for the effort, i appreciate it."
They wiped away a tear from their eye as their chuckles died down and offered a hand for Sans to shake.
"Th'name's Frisk."
"sans."
He held theirs in a firm handshake.
…and heard a hilarious sound of air passing agonizingly slow through a small opening. Much like a fart.
"Whoopie-cushion-in-the-hand-trick! Works every time!"
"do you always keep that thing with you? you creep," he said, trying to sound like he was weirded out, but couldn't hide his chuckles.
"I may or may not keep it on my person whenever I go out of the dorm, on certain occasions, anytime, every time…" They waved their hand with a flourish and winked at him.
Huh, an interesting character who loves humor, in any forms. Much like him. SO much like him. He talked with them for a while, asking for the basic details ("Frisk, Fine Arts, same univ as Paps, Jay's a childhood friend of theirs," he made a list in his mind), before they turned the conversation around on Sans ("So, you're Paps' older bro…you've got perma-smile?! doesn't it hurt your jaw? …Huh, never thought of Physics that way before…might come in handy for future drawing projects, thanks…"). They were the one asking questions now. They were the one asking if he was free next Friday night, for dinner. They were the one asking if he preferred any restaurant over the others. He immediately replied, "Grillby's." Just when he thought they were going to turn around and walk away from him for that answer, they instead smiled and said, "I'd love to chat with you more. Friday, 6:30, Grillby's. Sound good?"
They were the one to ask him out on a date? And he just let it happen. He just nodded.
He could tell from the kid's (he wanted to keep calling them that somehow) expression that they were suppressing a grin. He was pretty good at reading facial expressions. They could tell a lot from it. He could tell that they were happy that that worked out. He could tell that they were trying to keep their cool and carefree demeanor, to no avail. They were rocking on their heels, their face flushed from excitement. It kinda confused Sans, but also made him glad his acquaintance was feeling happy talking to him. It's a huge boost of confidence for himself, too. They shoved their hands in both of their pant pockets.
"Huh, great then."
Their eyes widened in shock when, presumably, a friend of theirs was bounding towards where Sans and Frisk were. "FRISKY-BITSY! My goooooooood roommate! L…let's drink s-some moar, a'right?! Back in the dorm…!"
"Aaaaand, this is why I never get hammered in parties," they softly slapped their palm on their own forehead. "This is Lorraine, Sans, Sans, Lorraine."
Yep, he definitely wanted a moment sans-Lorraine right now. He felt, uncomfortably, irritated with this other person who just suddenly appeared. The friend clumsily wrapped her arm around Frisk's shoulder, putting all of her weight on them. For someone with such a lithe build, it was a little bit surprising to see that they could support the taller woman's dead-weight.
"Eeeeeya, Frisky…and who's the skeleton, huh?" She was pointing at Sans. Seems like this Lorraine did not hear Frisk introducing them. "Is that…That guy, the one with…in－" Then she fell asleep before she could continue. Sans could swear there was a faint sound of a snapping finger just right before their roommate passed out. Must be his imagination.
"Ha ha, that was embarrassing… sorry to cut our conversation short, Sans, must get this irresponsible drinker back to the dorm…so…see you?"
"Friday, 6:30, Grillby's, right?" He repeated from memory.
They sighed, "God I thought you were going to turn me down! Silly me, huh?" They did a little knock on their head, sticking their tongue out a little. That was…cute. Like in one of the animes Sans used to watch with Alphys. He never thought it would look cute in real life, too.
"I thought you were just aiming for a conversation to pass the time and forget about it in the morning."
"Ha, ha, never going to forget meeting a skeleton."
This was his chance to impress. And for some reason he took it, all doubt in his mind thrown out of the window…
"hey, sorry, can i take up a little bit more of both of you's time? just a little trick i got for bein' a skeleton…i can, like, i dunno, take you home…not to my house but to where you live currently, which is your dorm and will only take five minutes, tops－"
"You're offering to take me home, seriously? Sure, I don't mind."
...only to be reminded of their doubts mid-way, like a boomerang. Sans was taken aback that they immediately agreed. Well, they just met and all… "huh, ya trust me? little too trusting don'cha think?"
"You offered, might as well take advantage of the benefits. And I don't trust you, well, I do not mean to offend you in any way when I say that, but I trust my butt-kicking skills."
"haha, cool, just another thing though, if you don't mind, can you show me a picture of your dorm? part of the trick."
"Okaaaay…Wait a sec." Frisk settled their friend down on a newly vacated seat nearby and fished out their phone from their pocket. Frisk showed him a picture of them and her roommate, just outside their room's door. Rm 217.
Sans hummed. "okay, we're good to go, if you would just hold my arm please, just choose a bone, either the radius or the ulna, i don't mind…and hold on to your friend over there."
"This is weird, but sure…" Frisk did as instructed and Sans still had time to act like an announcer on an airplane. They supported the weight of their friend on their entire left side, an arm draped on the other's shoulders. Frisk's left arm supported her back, afraid that if they didn't, Lorraine would fall butt first. They held Sans' arm firmly. "welcome to sans air, tighten your grips and please take a long, deep breath because were gonna go vacuum in three, two, one…!"
Frisk closed their eyes, took a long, deep breath, not only because they were told to do so, but to also suppress a chuckle. Somewhere in what Sans had said was a pun. Intended or not, it was clever. Sans concentrated so hard on that single piece of clue alone, the little details on the door, the room number…two-hundred and seventeen… and the color…mahogany brown…he's done this countless of times, he's sure he wouldn't fail…would he? Geez, this is no time for insecurities! He scolded himself internally. A few seconds later, the three of them were right outside Room 217. Frisk opened their eyes and finally breathed. They were met with the sweet scent of burning caramels for a little while there, but it's gone as soon as it appeared.
"i call them shortcuts." Frisk gaped at him, and he coolly slid a bony hand inside his hoodie's pockets. "what?" He shrugged.
"You really can teleport!? Is it a Sans thing only or can any other monster have it?"
"well, skeletons can enjoy many things. i'm just maximizing the perks."
"Well, I learned a lot tonight. Thank you, Sans, also for bringing us to the dorm," back turned to Sans, they were already turning the knob.
"no prob, kiddo."
"Good night," they opened the door, half-carrying their drunk roommate inside the room.
"g'night."
The door was locked shut and Sans hurried to shortcut back to the party to inform Papyrus immediately about his 'date' on Friday.
A/N: A new one from me! YAAAAAYS. Breaking my block on RESETS, I am entertaining other ideas for a while. I hope you like it. Also available on AO3!