A/N: ... Er, the story you are about to read (assumedly; You may have accidentally clicked on the link, or something) has a rather odd history behind it, but it's not actually that interesting enough to describe in detail. In short, I was working on the follow-up(s) to Much Ado About Nothing, when I became drastically ill with the flu (I like to pretend it was a rare disease inflicted by old-school James Bond villains who tried to poison my water supply; Ha, try again next time, buddies). I was over-encumbered by my ailment, but still, I persisted!
... Anyways, in my medicated trance, one of the scenes from my next upcoming fic transmogrified into... well, this. I was debating whether to actually post this, but I thought that at least one of you out there may find some source of enjoyment from this random story.
That being said, I hope you stay around and have a read. I realize that most of you reading this probably have no clue what Najica Blitz Tactics is, or why the hell I'd cross it over with Hyperdimension Neptunia, but you don't exactly need to in order to enjoy. Hell, if you want, just do a simple search on the internet to find out what the characters look like, and maybe find a brief synopsis. It's an enjoyable(and short) franchise, so I'd recommend you have a further look when you have the opportunity. I thank you for your time.
Now for your (not-so)regularly-scheduled program...
...
"An extraordinary scent and the fragrance of destiny. Najica Hiiragi, special agent for CRI, receives assignments with a single rose. Glorious missions more lovely than a bullet and more dangerous than love itself; These make up...
Najica Blitz Tactics!"
"... Oh God, Geo, what are you babbling about now?"
Nepgeo snapped back to reality and looked at the three other girls sitting in a circle around the room. "Hm, is somethin' the matter? I was just about to tell you all a story."
The particular girl she was addressing, Linda, sighed. "Yeah, I kinda figured that... Why, though? And you can't just start with a dramatic opening narration without any prior warning!"
A girl with blue hair sitting next to Linda shrugged curiously. "...I don't know, Underlingy... It sounded interesting, at least. Why don't we let her tell it?" The woman's name was Nisa, the self-proclaimed heroine of justice!
"Tee hee! Thank you, Nisey; I knew that you'd back me on this!" Nepgeo, the aptly coined purple-haired imposter, gleamed. She then turned her attention to the small girl sitting between herself and the heroine. "What about you, wittle Gusty? Dontcha wanna hear a fluffy tale?"
The young girl, an alchemist named Gust, sighed. "How did you drag Gust into this mess? I want to sleep!"
The imposter lovingly pat the girl's covered head. "Come on, just one story. For me~"
The alchemist pressed one of her gloved hands to her forehead. "Ugh... Fine! Gust will listen to one story... But only one!"
Geo nodded with a cheerful grin, and looked back at Linda (her girlfriend). "See Lindy, Nisa and Gusty are down with it; Why can't you be all gung-ho? It won't hurt, I promise~"
Underling sighed again (get used to a lot of sighing with this author), and grimaced. "... Ok, ok, just... tell the story, damn it... The sooner it's over, the better."
"Hehe... Thanks, babe!" The imposter than dramatically shot her right hand towards the ceiling. "Ok, let's get this show on the road!"
...
... Oh, hello there... Where are my manners? I should probably clear a few things up before we go any further, so that you won't be entirely lost (though that always happens when I'm in charge of narrating).
Um... In case you're a newcomer, or some other complete stranger to Hyperdimension Neptunia, let's go over the basics:
For starters, the four girls in this dark hotel room are not the main stars of the franchise; two of them are supporting heroines, one is a villain, and one is an ascended NPC.
The one named Nisa is, as briefly touched upon, Gamindustri's heroine of justice. She spends her days fighting villainous acts and upholding the righteousness of the land. She has a big red scarf, because that's what heroes and heroines wear; isn't that, like, common knowledge?
... Er... The young girl sitting next to her is the business-savvy alchemist named Gust (Oh, and if you are wondering, do not ask about last names; It's not how Gamindustri rolls). She talks with a mild(?) accent and is (begrudgingly(?)) Nisa's sidekick. She is also either the youngest in this room, or she may be 35... Wait, what!?
... Um, wow, I always manage to make this more weird and complicated than it needs to be... Moving on...
Linda, also known as Underling, is a villain who works for ASIC (or used to?), which is an organization that sought to bring Arfoire, the Deity of Sin, back to life... As what usually happens with those types of plots, reviving what was essentially the Devil of Gamindustri was a VERY bad idea... I, regrettably, was also part of that horrid organization, though I was a different being back in those days... Erm, don't ask.
Either way, even though she was betrayed more times than anyone could care to count, Linda still claims to be working for ASIC, probably because that was all she was ever competent at.
Finally, we arrive at Nepgeo, the storyteller of this... story. She'll need a little bit more of a description... Back in Gamindustri, one of the main characters is a CPU Candidate named Nepgear, who is the younger sister to Planeptune's goddess, Neptune (It's not really important today, so let's just leave describing the CPUs' backstories for another time). Nepgeo looks almost-identical to the Purple Sister, hence the moniker 'Purple-haired imposter.'
Now, while they look the same, there is one key difference: Nepgear is the definition of innocence and being a square(?). Nepgeo, on the other hand, is incredibly teasing and seductive.
Interestingly enough, Nepgeo was simply a NPC back in the source material, but this author decided to utilize her in such an odd way: She is now an incredibly flirtatious womanizer, and has essentially become an OC that surprisingly hasn't been shunned by the community (Thank you, everybody).
Over the course of this author's previous stories, she and Linda have acknowledged their feelings for each other, and they are now officially dating... which, all things considered, hasn't changed things between them much. Nepgeo still fantasizes about other women from time to time, and lately has been trying to arrange a special... "get together" between herself, her girlfriend, Nisa, and Gust... The closest she's ever gotten is this slumber party, though, but the dream still lives!
Hm... Perhaps I should also reveal that Nisa and Gust have been... experimenting with their own relationship as well... Though how about we just leave it at that for now...
And I, faithful viewers, am simply the uncredited narrator... I am here to atone for my past sins and mistakes and the like... D-Don't you dare ask me my identity, because I won't tell you; I'm not yet ready to reveal my true nature and face the world...
A-Almost done... Now, just why is this ragtag bunch of misfits sharing a hotel room on this dark night? I mean, one couple fights for good, while the other is on the villainous side? Well... It's really complicated; Just read the other stories, or something...
... Whew, what an exposition dump. Let's go back to Nepgeo, who's... Yeah, she's gonna give some different exposition now, huh? ...Damnit!
The purple-haired imposter cleared her throat, and spoke up again. "Okie-dokeys... Now, I'm about to tell you all a little story about my very own idol; The woman who I look up to the most!"
Linda cocked her head to the side. "Hm? Who the hell's yer idol? You never mentioned her before."
"Teehee... Why, it's Najica Hiiragi, of course; Weren't you even listening?"
Nisa, too, looked confused. "Um, Nepgeo... Just who is this Najica Hiiragi? Apart from your opening narration, I've never heard of her before."
Nepgeo flashed a grin. "Najica's a kick-ass babe who creates perfume by day and beats on terrorists by night. And, you know what the best part is?" The imposter slowly brought her head closer to the center of the group. "...She doesn't show even the slightest interest in men! She's just like me!"
Linda sighed some more. "... So, let me guess: Just because she doesn't have a male love interest or whatever, yer just gonna assume that she's into chicks? Does that make any sense at all?"
"Hehe... Of course it does, Lindy-babe! Everywhere she goes, she has cute girls fall head-over-heels in love and lust for her! Being able to attract that sort of attention is a PRETTY clear indicator of CERTAIN things..." She teasingly tickled the young Gust's chin. "...I'm sure you know what I'm talkin' about, cutie-pie~"
The alchemist shifted her chin away. "Please, PLEASE, don't touch Gust's face!"
Before the tale could continue, Nisa raised her hand. "Um, Miss Nepgeo... Am I right in assuming that this Najica fights for love and justice?"
"Yep, you wouldn't be too far off there, Nisa-babe! I think you'd both make perfect partners, in fact-" Again, she leaned in close to Gust "-if you know what I mean~"
"Ok, that's enough..." Linda groaned as she pulled the imposter away from the poor girl.
Nisa's eyes were bright, and looked as though flames filled them. "Ah, excellent! I am honored to hear a story about a fellow upholder of the righteous! Please, continue!"
Nepgeo smiled, and nodded resolutely. "Anyways, she, like, has this adorable moe assistant at her perfume-making job, and you just know that there's some thick, juicy lovin' about to burst between those two! Hee... Kinda like between me and-"
"D-Don't continue with that! J-J-Just get to the point!" Underling yelled, her face a deep crimson... Hm, now it may just be me over-thinking things, but who was Geo about to name? Could be any of these lovely ladies... D-Don't look at me like that!
"... Heh, sorry... Anyways, in the first episode of the show, secret-agent Najica rescues the cutest girl ever from some hot mistress who's totally into making out with her adorable maids... Turns out, the whole rescue operation was really just a ploy for Najica-babe to recover Lila, who is a Humaritt... Oh, that means that the cute girl she saved is actually a highly advanced android! From that day forth, the two become partners, and they both eventually warm up to each other real good... Which is where this story begins..."
"Wait! You mean the damn story STILL hasn't started? Yer still doin' the damn exposition? No one's gonna want to read a boring dredge like this!" Linda snapped. Gust and Nisa looked at the irritated woman with blank expressions, but swiftly returned to looking at the story-teller.
...
Our short story begins with Najica returning home from another hard night's work; Lila had arrived home a little before her, as usual. Gento had once again spent the whole mission briefing hitting on her to no end, but she had grown accustomed to giving him the cold shoulder. It got easier and easier with each passing day, but his attitude still pissed her off to high heaven.
"I should really get to bed." Najica mumbled to herself. This previous mission had been a doozy, that's for sure, what with some skydiving and some stealth and some girls with white panties...
"Crap!" Nepgeo blurted out suddenly, scaring the three listeners. "I nearly forgot: To preserve the nature of the show, be sure to imagine a panty shot from a different camera angle with every new paragraph, got it? It's very important to keep some familiarity!"
Linda wasn't sure what to say. "Um, er... What the hell kind of show is this?"
...
Without saying goodnight to Lila, Najica went to her bedchamber and gracefully rested her beautiful head upon the pillow and quickly drifted off to a well-deserved sleep.
However, the night was not over; Ha, not even close!
Lila noticed that Najica arrived home, and felt the usual tingling sensation in her heart. You see, as she worked on more missions with the lovely special agent, the little Humaritt began to develop overwhelming feelings for her "master." And, being an android who wasn't even sure if she could love, the whole situation made Lila quite confused.
Looking forward to greeting Hiiragi, the developing Humaritt felt disappointment swell up inside of her when the moment never arrived. Her heart sank as she saw the disgruntled agent journey off to bed without a single hesitation.
"... Does Najica want to scrap Lila?" The android sadly asked herself. No matter what, Lila was, and always would be, a non-human. Once her master got sick of her, the scrap-heap would be her next destination...
Now, if this had happened on an earlier date, then Lila would have just remained sitting there in the darkness, or perhaps have taken a bath in her special Humaritt storage fluid (No, that's not exactly something fetishy or kinky, Nisa; I see that look in your eye!).
But on this night, Lila felt more emotions than she ever had in her short life. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she needed to see Najica. With that determined, she practically floated to her room.
"Um, question!" Nisa shouted. Nepgeo smiled gently at her and nodded.
"Hm? What is it, Nisa-cutie?"
"I was just wondering, er, how old is Lila? I assume Najica is somewhere in the mid-to-high-twenties, but what about her?"
Nepgeo thought for a moment. "That's a very good question, Nisey! Well, Lila is not like us ordinary Makers; her mind develops much differently. When she was first activated, she had the smokin' hot bod of a teenager, but her mind resembled that of a child's. Over time, however, as she developed feelings for the amazin' Najica, her maturity rose, and she was able to actually use her own mind to make decisions, instead of following her master all the time! So, age doesn't really matter in the end..."
Linda facepalmed. "Oh crap, yer just trying to cover up the fact that this story's gonna feature explicit scenes with a child..." Now it was Linda's turn to lean in close to Nisa and Gust. "Wouldn't be the first time an author did that..."
Gust's face turned a deep red. "Gust is not child! I am mature alchemist!"
Geo chuckled a little. "It won't get THAT explicit, Lindy! And besides, the show flashes her panties every chance it gets, so it's not obscene, or anything! ...So, any more questions?" The three listeners shook their heads, and the imposter grunted in approval.
...
"Najica... Najica... Are you awake?" Lila asked in a whisper. When the special agent didn't respond, the answer became clear. "...Goodnight, Najica." Feeling dejected, the Humaritt began to head on out of the room, but she turned to take one more look at her master for the night. Her slumbering face, with her lips in a slight smile, was so content and peaceful...
... So content... So peaceful... So cute... So beautiful... So intoxicating...
Before she could rationally figure out what she was doing, Lila walked back over to the sleeping agent and leaned her face in as close as she could. Her curious lips were now a mere breath away from Najica's own.
Should she get up and leave the room? Should she keep going, finally quenching the mysterious longing her heart had felt for so long? These were the questions plaguing young Lila. She was still new to this whole individuality thing; Sure, she had made her own decisions from time to time, but a situation as delicate as this was still too much for her to bear alone. Here is where she would usually ask Najica for help... Heh, but that wouldn't do in this instance, now would it?
The Humaritt continued to stare at the lovely agent with her usual blank expression, and finally came to a definitive decision: Lila cautiously pressed her mouth upon her master's luscious lips.
The kiss caused the android girl to feel new sensations that she never knew existed. Why, they were so powerful and grand that she kept the kiss going for longer than she anticipated.
... Perhaps she let it last too long, for at some point, Najica Hiiragi snapped back to consciousness and found herself looking directly into her partner's deep eyes. Shocked wholeheartedly, as I'm sure even you girls would be, the special agent panicked and pulled her head away.
Lila blinked a few times. "...Hi, Najica."
"L-Lila!? Just what do you think you're doing?" The bodacious agent blurted out, a blush creeping over her perfect cheeks.
"Lila loves Najica." Was all that the Humaritt responded with. Najica sighed.
"... A proper lady should not... do things like that!" The woman looked away, hiding her embarrassment. "... What if that was my first?"
The android cocked her head to the side innocently. "Was that your first kiss, Najica?"
Najica swiped her hand across her face in exasperation, but eventually cracked a disarming smile. "Heh... Lucky for you, ya little brat, it wasn't." Teehee, that sure wasn't Najica-babe's first; That honor went to a young little lass named Natsuko, back when she was in high-school. Boy, those were some good times... You shoulda seen her; She was a stunning woman!
Lila lowered her head, not sure how to feel. "...Is Najica mad at Lila?"
The secret agent sighed, stood up from the bed, and began patting the Humaritt's head. "... No, I'm not mad..." Suddenly, something sparked in the kick-ass woman's mind; A most devious idea, indeed! "... But you know, Lila... You've ruined my pleasant slumber, and in such an embarrassing way at that... I think it's only right for you to take some responsibility for your actions."
Ohohoho! What a twist, dontcha think? Y'see, Najica had been bombarded with so much work recently, that she never had a chance to relax anymore. Oh, how horrible, how cruel, a fate she was tasked with: To be sent on deadly missions daily, without any opportunity to spend some intimate time with a beautiful young maiden.
But now, a certain change was beginning to take place within the special agent; all that pent-up frustration now needed to be released, and a perfect opening seemed to have arrived. And, whether she fully realized it or not, Lila was that opening (Hehe... That sounded rather dirty, huh?).
The Humaritt stared at Najica's face, perhaps awaiting her orders (Also kinky). The CRI agent smirked devilishly, and sank into the bed, lying rather suggestively on her back. "... You will take responsibility, won't you Lila?"
Lila's blank face simply stared at the seductive agent, looking like a fish outta water. "What should Lila do, Najica?"
Najica closed her eyes and smiled, taking a nice, calm breath. "...You're a big girl, Lila; I want you to make the decision yourself."
Lila nodded. Her choice would be an amazingly important one; One that would shape her relationship with Najica forever. It was not one to be taken lightly...
However, perhaps her final decision had been decided long ago... Hehe...
"And... that's a wrap! How'd you all like it?" Nepgeo gleamed.
"H-Huh? That's it? You had to do so much set-up, and then ya just end it right when the action's about to start? What the hell?" Linda complained. Hm... It looks like her face is quite red; Was she eagerly anticipating the rest of that scene?
"Sorry Lindy, but it's important to leave certain things open for the listeners. The most successful stories are the ones that make you think!"
Underling grumbled. "But it doesn't make you think: Either Lila had sex with Najica, or she didn't! Hell, by your wording, it's obvious that they did!"
"Well, that's just your opinion, Lindy, but I'll keep it in mind." The imposter next grinned at Nisa and Gust. "So, what did you two think? Wasn't it great?"
The heroine's face reddened a little. "I-I must say, it was rather... interesting... A l-little embarrassing, though..." She laughed awkwardly, inadvertently made eye-contact with Gust, and both of the girls looked away rather bashfully.
"Ooh, a juicy reaction! I luv it!" Nepgeo squeed, and she pulled her girlfriend in for a hug.
Underling... (Oh, come on! Do I even need to utter what exactly she did before she spoke? She's been doing it this entire story!... *sigh*... Sometimes, this whole narrator job really gets on my nerves...)... sighed... and stealthily wrapped her arm around the purple-haired imposter. "... So, uh, what was the point of this story, anyways?"
"... Gust kinda curious, too." The alchemist spoke, still facing away from her heroine friend.
Nepgeo shrugged. "Iunno... Maybe I just felt like telling you cute gals a story..." She teasingly brought her mouth close to Gust's ear again. "... Maybe I was hoping to get you all in the mood..." Next, she dramatically fell onto her back on the cushioned floor. "... Or, maybe I was trying to get a point across..."
"W-What point is that?" Nisa asked, obviously affected by the whole atmosphere of the room. Oh my...
"... If any of you want to kiss me while I'm sleepin', then something really interesting may happen~"
Again, the heroine's face turned an even darker shade of red, and she lowered her head in a poor attempt to hide it. The alchemist rolled her eyes and stood up. "Why did Gust agree to go to stupid slumber party? ... Be right back; gonna get some juice. Anybody else want something?"
"I-I-I'll go with you, little Gusty!" Nisa proclaimed in a nervous manner. "I-I could use something to drink... That story left me a little parched..." She jumped up, and followed her sidekick.
"Er, get me a soda if ya can... thanks..." Underling called out.
"Ooh! Me too, me too!" The imposter cheered, waving an arm frantically. The justice duo nodded, and momentarily stepped out of the room. Seeing as they were now alone, Nepgeo became more touchy-feely with her girlfriend. "Won't be much time now... Hehe... So, I've been thinkin', Lindy..."
"H-Hmm? T-Thinkin' about what...? H-Hey! Don't touch there all of a sudden!"
"Well, you just heard one of my awesome stories, but I don't think that's enough: What if I wrote my very own fanfiction where I appear in Najica's world and totally start a harem with all the girls there? Like, I'd totally show both Najica and Lila things they'd never seen before, and through my, hehe, 'mindbending skills,' they'd end up falling hopelessly in love with each other... Ah, and I'd totally end up with her cute little moe assistant by the end... Her name's Kirala, by the way." She grinned her standard sly grin. "... I'd call it... 'Nepgeo Blitz Tactics!'"
Underling slapped her hand to her forehead, like so many times before. "Er, I really don't think that'd be a good idea: Everybody hates self-insert fanfictions, especially when actual romance is involved. They're really stupid stories..." Um, uh... I apologize if Underling's words have insulted any of you; I've worked with the girl many moons ago, and I know first-hand that it is impossible to control what she decides to say. Please don't take it to heart.
"Oh, but that's the genius of it, Lindy: I'm a girl wooing other girls! Same-sex self-inserts don't get nearly the same amount of flak as those of the opposite gender! I'm covered from all bases!"
"Ugh... I don't know, it still seems the same to me..."
"Well, that's just because loving beautiful women comes naturally for you, baby~" She kissed Underling's cheek, and giggled. "Heh, well, at the very least, I'll be sure to come up with a follow-up to this story sometime."
Linda raised an eyebrow. "Yer gonna tell us another Najica story? Man, you must really like her..."
"Yep, though it might take... a while for these ole' creative juices to begin flowin' again... But have no fear: Najica Blitz Tactics shall grace your mind once again!" The imposter yawned suddenly, and rested her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "But, yeah, as I said, Najica's my idol. It's only natural for me to want her to be as happy as possible, right? Well, fanfictions allow me to do that... But oh man, what I wouldn't do to become her apprentice!..."
"... I guess you have a point, though I can't help but feel that the way you've gone about it is kinda wacky..."
Nepgeo smiled and kissed Underling's cheek again. "... Y'know, Lindy... I don't say it much, but you're the strongest woman I've ever met... Teehee..." Another kiss. "...You're my very own Najica~"
"W-Where the hell's this sappiness comin' from, all of a sudden!?" Linda snapped in embarrassment, but she couldn't hide the smile that was creeping over her face.
And so, the night continued and eventually turned into morning. Nepgeo's slumber party, although the others would never fully admit to it, was a resounding success, with everyone having a pretty good time... Uh, hmm... It wants me to say this cliché line next... Ugh, guess I have to. It's not my decision; It's simply part of the script...
Here I go... Did you have just as good a time at the slumber party as those girls did? I sincerely hope so... Whew, there, I said it! And, wait, does it even make sense? I mean, you only saw the story session of the party; How could you possibly have had as good a time as those who actually experienced the full thing? Ugh, who the hell writes this crap!
Oh well... So, is this as far as Nepgeo's fantastical tales of Najica Hiiragi go, or is there more in store for us? I guess only time will tell... For now, I'm the uncredited narrator, wishing you all adieu...
... Ew, that felt wrong... Let's try this again:
For now, I'm the uncredited narrator, wishing you all ado... There we go; That feels better. Probably not correct, but better...
Body & Mind
"Kirala...? Kirala!"
Kirala Mitsuboshi, Najica's assistant at CRI Cosmetics, snapped back to reality at her boss's empowering voice. "A-Ah, y-y-yes, Miss Najica!"
Najica had gone looking for her young assistant after noting her absence, and found her staring at the computer screen in her cubicle. "So that's where you've been... Slacking off today, huh?"
The girl blushed, and attempted to minimize the page that filled her computer screen; some M-rated story, or whatever. Before she could, though, her boss grabbed the computer mouse.
"Hm? So what are you reading? Looks interesting... I had no idea you liked mature stories, Kirala."
"U-Uh... Uhm... This isn't what it looks like, Miss Najica! I-I-I'll get back to work right this instant!"
Najica chuckled, and shook her head with a slight smile. "I'm just teasing you, Kirala; If anyone deserves some time off, it's you. You've been working your ass off just as much as I have lately." She thought for a moment, then brought her finger to her chin. "Hmm... We have made some substantial progress towards our latest series of perfume... Why don't we go out tonight to celebrate; Just you and me. Sound fun?"
Kirala's eyes widened, and she nodded excitedly. "O-Of course! I-I'd love that!"
"Heh, I'm glad. I'll arrange some seats for us somewhere..." The secret agent began to walk off, but stopped to looked back at her young assistant. "Oh, and Kirala..."
"Y-Yes, Miss Najica?"
"... Next time you feel like reading an explicit story, invite me; It's more fun with a friend, correct?"
The assistant's entire face became engulfed in a blush. "Y-Y-Y-Yeah! ...I-I'll be sure to invite you next time!" Never before had she felt this bashful, and her mouth seemed to utter out words she never would have said at any other time.
The secret agent, content, nodded and walked off. Now, Kirala couldn't be entirely sure, but she thought that her boss seemed more... carefree, or cheerful, this morning than she ever had in a long time. Why, it was almost as if she was sparkling...
"Huh... Did something good happen to Miss Najica last night?" It took a moment, but soon, Kirala's eyes widened in sudden realization, and she looked in amazement at the computer screen. When she first signed into her computer earlier that morning, she had received an email that only included a link to some website called Fanfiction... It had led her to the story that she had been caught reading.
"... In that story, Najica and some girl named Lila... They...! It, uh, couldn't possibly have been... real, could it?" Bewildered, the assistant bookmarked the story and got up to get a cup of coffee...