Authors Note

My take on the aftermath of this weeks episode with some help from the autumn trailer, Enjoy. :)

"Is everything alright with... you know?" Ethan asked as he sat down opposite her.

"Oh yes everything's… everything's fine. I wanted to talk to you because… well Charlie doesn't think you're coping and… Jacob told me you went to thump Max and he had to step in the way. Firstly I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything and secondly I want you to tell me what's going on."

"You forced me to operate on your arm, a procedure I'd never done, that I could lose my job over. I wanted to help you but I wanted to do it the right way. You tried to blackmail me. Why else would I be struggling? You have no idea... how hard that scenario was for me. My whole career is at risk if it ever came out."

"I'm sorry... I maybe didn't go about that scenario in the best way but... I was scared. I was scared. Please forgive me, and don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. I just... You said I'm the only one you trust... That's not true... If you trusted me Mrs Beauchamp then you wouldn't have blackmailed me. You would trusted me to help you in the way that was best for you, with a trained vascular surgeon and all the right people... I'm not mad but... I can't forgive you. I'm sorry."

"I need your help." She said panic written across her face.

"Sorry." He said, walking away.

She leant down and reached into the drawer beside her, pulling out a scan picture. A tear dropped onto it as she panicked about what to do. Just then Jacob walked in and she tried to put the picture away but it slipped through her fingers and to the floor.

"Sorry I just came to tell you that you're needed in resus… I'll get it." He said picking it up. He looked at it and then at Connie "congratulations."

"Thanks."

"It's something to celebrate why are you crying."

"I… hormones."

"Connie…" she glared at him. "Sorry, I want to help."

"It's yours."

"Mine?... from?... right. Wow, that's amazing."

"Don't... Don't get your hopes up."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking confused.

"Nothing... don't worry about it" she said quickly, realising she'd almost let her secret out.

"Sweet cheeks, you can tell me… We're a team, we'll always be a team."

"Jacob… I don't see... how... how this is your business." She said her breathing speeding up.

"It's my child of course it's my business."

"Just... Just leave it."

"Connie? Are you okay? Just, just take some nice deep breaths for me."

"I can't… I can't."

"Yeah you can, just... just breathe, it'll be alright."

She put her hand to her chest, "You don't... you don't understand." She said.

"Well help me, you're scaring me."

"Can you... can you get Dr... Dr Hardy... please." He nodded going quickly. He came back with Ethan who noticing she was struggling to breathe ran over to her "I need your help."

"Connie we need to get you up to Darwin immediately, if it's haemorrhaging..."

"Ethan please..." she begged. Meanwhile Jacob was just stood there open mouthed trying to process what was happening.

"What's going on?" he asked, fear in his eyes.

"Not... not now." Connie said.

"Mrs Beauchamp we really need to get you upstairs."

"No... No you have to help me."

"It's the only way. I'm sorry but we have no other options. Jacob can you get a wheelchair please."

"Ethan..."

"I'm sorry." He crouched down beside her, "I'm so sorry, it'll be okay."

"You know bloody... well it won't." She snapped. Leaning into his shoulder as she became weaker and then Jacob came in with a chair, they helped her into it and wheeled her to the lift. She could feel the whole department's eyes on her and it made her panic as there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Ethan..." she said when they were in the lift as he stood with his back to her. "Ethan..." he turned to face her and she could see the anger in his eyes. "Will you... will you call Grace..." she said, tears falling down her cheeks. "Please." He nodded slightly and then turned away again. Jacob moved round to her side and she could see the fear.

"Cardiac tumour..." she said bluntly. "Most likely malignant." She tried to say it matter of factly to stop herself from letting the emotion out.

"No." He said, the pain in his eyes getting worse. "Please...no..." he kept opening and closing his mouth as he tried to form words that just wouldn't come. Slowly she moved her hand to rest on his which was on the arm of the wheelchair. She took a deep breath before speaking, making sure her words would come at the right time.

"I love you and I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because... I didn't tell you, because I'm gonna die, because I love you."

"Oh Connie. None of this is your fault and if Jac Naylor has anything to do with it you are definitely not going to die." She nodded and then the doors to the lift opened and that was the last thing she said to him before she was whisked away for surgery.