Trigger warning: This story discusses miscarriage. I tried to do it in a dignified way, and I hope I succeeded, but if you are sensitive to the subject, I strongly advise that you don't read this story.

It was the first time in a year and a half that Andy could not figure out what was wrong with his fiancée. He could easily tell that she was not behaving like her usual self, but he was not sure of the reason. All he knew for sure was that they were getting married in less than a week, and she was giving him the cold shoulder. Andy wondered if he had done anything and if he should apologize, and he even asked her, although he knew that he was risking an 'if you don't already know, then I'm not going to tell you' or a similar response. If she were upset by something he had done, it would be odd for her not to tell him, as she was quite straightforward with him whenever an issue came up between them, but it didn't mean that she couldn't hold things back. It was rare, but not impossible. However, when he tried to apologize, she shook her head and denied anything was wrong. That was more than alarming because Sharon's behavior hinted that something was definitely wrong. It was then that he realized that Sharon might be having second thoughts about the wedding. After so many years of being tied to Jack, and having to put up with his drinking, gambling, cheating, and lying, Andy could completely understand why at the moment of truth, Sharon might have a problem to enter another lifelong commitment with another alcoholic. And it was entirely like her to mull it over in private before she would open up to him about it.

It made him quite upset that he couldn't reach to his fiancée and let her know that he understood her, that he loved her and would wait for her forever if she needed that. His attempts to show her physical affection were rejected one by one to the extent that even holding her hand made her jumpy and irritable. The only time he remembered her acting like that was after Phillip Stroh's escape. That could be another reason; he realized when he considered all the reports Sharon has received about the people from Stroh's past turning up dead. The one thing that always came first in Sharon's life was her children, and Andy could understand how she might put Rusty's safety ahead of the wedding or anything else that was going on with her life.

On the night of November 23rd, only five days before their wedding, as Andy crawled into bed he decided that whatever Sharon's issue was, he wasn't going to let her go through it alone. Whether it was something he had done, a case of cold feet, or the fear of how close Stroh might be, he was going to let her know that he was there, and he would not let it go until she explained what was going on in her mind.

"Sharon, can we talk?" he asked and gently touched her arm. She put the book she was reading down and looked at him with a tormented expression. "I feel like you might be going through something." Sharon shrugged and brought her knees to her chest. "Is that not true?"

"I'm fine, Andy," she said silently.

"You don't sound fine," he responded. "Is it the wedding? Have you changed your mind?"

"Of course not," she protested. "I love you so much, and I will be delighted to spend the rest of my life with you, Andy. Why would you even think that?"

"I don't know, because you don't really want to talk about anything unrelated to work, and you seem upset," Andy sighed. "And because normally, you tell me what's bothering you, but not this time."

"I don't have second thoughts about marrying you, Andy," Sharon sighed and looked at her hand. "It's just the date of the wedding is not something I thought through."

"What do you mean, Sharon?" Andy wondered. "Do you want to postpone the wedding?"

"No, it's just that twenty years ago on November 28th, something really unpleasant happened to me, and I usually take this day off," Sharon explained. Andy took her hand and brought it to his mouth. He pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles and looked at her.

"I will feel honored if you share it with me," he said, still holding her hand in his.

"Okay," Sharon let out a long sigh and bit her bottom lip. "Twenty years ago, I got pregnant. It was an accident; a result of a sexual encounter with Jack that shouldn't have happened to begin with. When I realized that I was pregnant, he was already gone and nowhere to be found. I considered terminating the pregnancy. I just turned 40, and Emily was preparing for college, and for her ballet career. The timing was just wrong. I had an abortion scheduled, and I had every intention to just end the pregnancy and leave it in the past, but when the day arrived, I couldn't do it," Sharon paused and wiped a tear from her cheek. "It was impulsive and stupid, but I decided to keep the baby, and I told the kids. They were angry at me, especially Emily, who thought that because of the baby she was going to lose the opportunity to become a professional dancer. But after a few weeks, Ricky and Emily accepted it, and as the pregnancy progressed, they were really into it." Andy looked at Sharon as she spoke; at this point, he had a solid idea how that story was about to end, but he let her speak. "Because I was 40, my doctor said it was a high-risk pregnancy, but all my tests came back okay and showed that the baby was healthy. On November 25, I started bleeding; I went to the hospital, but all the tests showed that the baby was fine. I was released after two days." Sharon paused and drew her hand out of Andy's hand. She wrapped her arms around her knees and took a deep breath. "The next morning, I started having contractions that became stronger very quickly. I don't even know how I drove myself to the hospital, but by the time I got there, I was told that I had a miscarriage. I was 22 weeks along, and I was offered to see and hold the baby." Sharon lowered her head and buried it between her knees. Andy could see her shoulders rising and falling and heard soft cries that escaped from her lips. "I named her Serena because she looked so peaceful," she said when she lifted her head and wiped her tears. Andy placed his hand on her back, and Sharon looked at him with tearful eyes and took a cleansing breath. "The church helped me obtain the body and bury it. Ricky and I had a small ceremony, but Emily didn't attend. She said that it was too hard for her. And when we returned home, she was crying into a baby blanket that she bought for the baby and planned to give me for the baby shower. None of us could sleep that night, and we just talked and cried together all night. And after a week, I bought us all tickets to Disneyland. I felt like we needed to do something fun as a family instead of wallowing in sorrow."

"I am so sorry, Sharon. I can only imagine how hard it was," Andy pulled her towards him. "Why did you not tell me November 28th is such a difficult day for you? We could have picked a different date."

"I guess that I was so happy that we are getting married, that it just didn't register with me until now," Sharon replied.

"We can postpone it, and tell people that we need a few more days to arrange things," Andy suggested. Sharon shook her head.

"I think, maybe it's time for me to stop thinking of November 28th as the day I lost someone, and start thinking about it as the day I gained someone," she said. "Twenty years is a long time to mourn a person I didn't really get to know. And I guess it's time to move on now. I think it would be good for me, and good for Emily and Ricky."

"Are you sure?" Andy asked. Sharon rested her head on his shoulder and hummed softly.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about this. I never realized that you would think you've done something wrong or that I had cold feet," she pressed a soft kiss against the underside of his jaw. "I love you so much, Andy. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, and I love you, too, sweetheart. I'll always be here for you, to listen, to hug, to comfort. Don't ever hesitate to share your feelings with me," Andy said, and one of his hand went into her hair, his fingers gently massaging her scalp.

"It sounded like wedding vows," Sharon smiled at him. Andy let out a soft chuckle.

"Maybe that's what it was," he teased her and pressed a kiss to her lips. Sharon snuggled close to him and wrapped her arms around him. They let a comfortable silence spread around them, as each of them sank into their thoughts. When they looked at each other after a while, they exchanged understanding smiles. It was the first time that they grasped the fact that each of them brought the heavy burdens of the past into this relationship, and that the only way to ease these burdens would be to let them go, and start anew. And November 28th would be the perfect date for their shared future to begin.

THE END

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