A/N: It's been forever! As summer approaches, I'll have more time to dedicate to writing. This'll be my first multi-chapter Victorious fanfiction. Bade will be endgame. I hope you guys like it. Chapter one is my take on TGP. I'll periodically switch P.O.V.s.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
~Jade's P.O.V.~
I'm Jade West. I'm a gank, grunch, and everything in between. My favorite childhood toy was a hammer. Scissors are my one true friend. And if you ever mess with me, I'll mess with you far worse.
"Why can't we kiss?"
Four simple words. That was all it took to send me over the edge.
I was at rehearsal for the Platinum Music Awards. It was finally my time to shine. My thoughts were for once buzzing with anything but Beck Oliver, my jerk of an ex-boyfriend.
He was always the nice guy. Yet he could be a royal douchebag to me, never listening to what I say. No matter what, he always ended up with the good reputation, and I appeared heartless. I could never truly win. He walked out on me when I needed him most. He was never there. He always flirted with other girls. What kind of a relationship was that anyway?
A relationship I craved. No matter how hard I tried, my thoughts always turned to Beck. I spent three years with someone who could hardly give a damn about me, and here I was with every bit of willpower trying to hold it together and stay strong. I was still in love with an asshole.
Tonight though, ooh, I knew it was my chance to forget. I'd be big and famous after tomorrow's award show. I'd be able to move on and hardly remember that vile name. I had no time to think about him. I had to figure out an outfit.
Let's be real; I'm anything but a priss. I hate trying on lavish clothes. But I needed an image. At least that's what Mason Thornesmith told me.
Cat and her bibble-guard, (whatever the hell type of food bibble is), Oliver, whom she was handcuffed to, were searching for a skirt of the same style I had just tried on, but in blue. The previous one was a hideous shade of pink. Pink really didn't suit me.
My laptop was on. Cat touched it. I warned Cat against touching my laptop, but she refused to listen, as usual. I scowled, ready to power it down. When I looked at the screen however, I froze.
A video chat window was open. Vega's living room was on my computer screen. And there in the living room, sitting on the couch was not only Vega, but also Beck. I watched for a moment, listening to them speak.
Of course, I thought. This was to be expected. Beck and Vega were recently getting closer, and I didn't like it. She was clinging to him, hugging him. I looked on at school in disgust. And agony. This was no exception. I zoomed in on the two of them to get a better look at the conversation.
They were facing each other, talking. It seemed casual. But before I knew it, I saw Beck lean in to kiss Vega. My heart thudded against my ribcage as tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks.
She remained motionless. He uttered an apology for the awkwardness, but she responded pleading him not to be sorry. Four words came from his mouth after hearing her say with sincerity that it wasn't awkward.
"Why can't we kiss?"
The world stopped at that moment. Nothing else existed. Beck never loved me. He didn't care. He didn't want me back like I desperately wanted him.
I very faintly heard Vega…Tori reply with a no and a logical explanation over the pounding of my own heartbeat in my ears. I'll give her credit, she had a good heart for considering me a friend after all that I've done to her. Beck tried to make some lame-ass excuse up just to get his lips on hers, but she turned him down even still.
At that moment, I knew I always had a just cause for my insecurities. The "liking" for Tori I'd always accused him of, was indeed true. He didn't make me jealous because he enjoyed getting a rise out of me and teasing me. He made me jealous because he was never truly satisfied with who I was. And that killed me inside.
I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and shut the lid of my laptop as Cat returned with the blue skirt. Tears were still stinging my eyes. I knew Cat saw them, but she said nothing. She knew better than that.
I took the skirt from her and slipped out of the hair and makeup area, into my dressing room. I slammed and locked the door shut behind me, yanked off the pink skirt, and tugged on the blue one. As I finished smoothing my skirt out, (I loathed this one twice as much as the pink one, despite the color), I finally allowed the tears that threatened to fall for weeks a chance to stream down my face.
Tori was being a good friend. But what about Beck? He just continued to repeatedly shatter my heart. And I allowed him to do so by being unconditionally in love with him.
I slid down the wall to the cool, tiled floor, burying my face in my hands. Sobs began to wrack my form. I muffled them to remain unheard. The last thing I needed was to appear weak. How stupid did he think I was? I knew him too well for that. He was going to live up the single life. And I was going to ache.
"I hate him," I whispered in a chant-like form as tears continued to flow freely from my eyes and down my cheeks. "He doesn't deserve me."
A little voice in my head counter-attacked by saying, Lies. You hate that you love him. You don't deserve him, gank. I pushed the voice away though.
After awhile of silent crying, in a steadier, more confident voice, I choked out, "Never again, Beck Oliver. Never again." I grinned darkly, tear and makeup stains on my cheeks, a few more unshed tears still shining in my eyes.
This was nowhere near over.
I'm Jade West. I'm a gank, grunch, and everything in between. My favorite childhood toy was a hammer. Scissors are my one true friend. And if you ever mess with me, I'll mess with you far worse.