Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, though if Joss wants to give me Spike for Christmas, he's welcome to.
Feedback: By all means, in fact, make it your Christmas gift to me! ~wink~wink~
Spoilers: Anything goes.
By: Kristi
So Many Shopping Days Till Christmas
William the Bloody left his crypt the moment the sun went down. He headed for the DeSoto's hidden parking place, whilst double-checking that he was well armed. He allowed himself a moment to relax, satisfied that his weapon still rested in the duster pocket. Of course he had reason to be anxious. This could quite possibly be the most dangerous, horrifying task he'd ever faced in all of his 128 years.
The peroxide vampire drove for several minutes before spotting his destination through the car's front window. Building up all of his undead courage, Spike pulled into the lot and began the dauntiful task of finding a place to park.
This, as it turned out, took several more minutes itself. Eventually, the DeSoto was forced to take part in a duel of wills between itself and a mini-van for a soon to be empty spot. In the end, the black car had won out, and, as an afterthought, Spike had flipped the other driver a British bird.
Even more time was taken up after the car was affectivity parked. Part of this was because the vampire had wanted to finish singing along to "The Redneck Twelve Days of Christmas"(those Americans did crack him up at times), and the other was his coming to terms with exactly what he was doing.
Here he was, Spike, William the Bloody, a Master Vampire.....at the mall. He was at the mall. And not for a meal either (not that he could if he'd wanted to), nor was it to nic a cd or new shirt. No, he was here to do something so inexplicably human that he wondered if he'd finally lost his marbles for real.
Finally, swallowing his pride, Spike stepped from the car. It was time and no amount of second thoughts could keep him from his task. He was on a mission after all. He was Christmas shopping.
The large glass doors that lead into the Sunnydale Mall loomed over him mockingly. He nearly turned around more than once, but each time managed to stop himself just in time.
"It'll be a'right, just gotta remind meself why I'm doing this." he thought, calming his nerves in an act that was quite human indeed.
He was, in fact, so lost in his mindful reassurances that he failed to notice two things.
One was that he was now standing in front of the mall doors, and that he'd been doing so for quite sometime.
The other, well...
~Ring, Ding!~ "Happy holidays, sir! Would you be interested in making a donation on this fine day?" This was followed by another ~Ring, Ding!~.
Bloody...
The man's cheery expression quickly faded as blue eyes only glared at him in return. Spike looked the man over once and frowned at the Santa suite and fake beard. Oddly enough though, this momentary annoyance was just what he needed to finally push himself through the awaiting doors. So with a light ~swish~ of his duster, Spike pushed through the entrance, and left the bell-happy Santa behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What seemed like hours later, Spike stood in his fifth store. The vampire was quickly becoming distraught over his failure to purchase a single item so far. He glanced around the gift shop with a hopeful expression. Maybe he'd be in luck here.
He slowly drifted past the short aisles, stopping when he came to a display of Scooby Doo memorabilia. His eyes paused on the perfect item for Red. Pleased that he'd found his first gift, Spike picked up the plush Velma doll, and continued his way through the store.
A few minutes later he found himself looking over a rack of key chains. A specific one caught his eye, and he had to stifle a chuckle as he read over the black key chain's words.
"How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?" it read, "(turn to other side)" He laughed out loud once he'd done as the words dictated. The key chains reverse side was identical to the other.
Spike grinned mischievously.
"What do you know. I've found the perfect gift for Harris."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Ring Ding!~
He was really beginning to loathe that sound.
~Ring Ding!~
After thirty minutes of no luck with his gift finding, the blonde vamp had decided he was in need of a smoke. He'd made certain not to use the door he'd entered, but as soon as he'd walked out into fresh air, he'd found yet another bell wielding Santa awaiting him.
~Ring Ding!~
He knew he couldn't stay out there forever. He still had a lot of people to buy for and wasn't sure what to get them.
He wasn't really worried about the Scoobies gifts though. He'd just get them whatever trinket was appropriate.
The gift was worried about, however, was Dawn's. Whatever was he supposed to get his Nibblet?! He wanted to make sure he got her something she really liked. He hadn't spent as much time with the Lil Bit sense Buffy's resurrection, and even though it wasn't entirely his fault, he still felt guilty.
Of course, on that thought, there was still Buffy's gift. What was he supposed to get her, or more importantly what kind of gift was he supposed to get her? Something friendly or something more intimate?
~Ring Ding!~
Their relationship was too bloody complicated!
Spike sighed and dropped his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with his boot. The Santa spotted him heading for the door and rang his bell again.
"Donation for the needy?" he asked, echoing his clone's cheery tone.
Spike ignored him and kept going. He didn't know what he hated more: the bell ringing Santas or the tiny sliver of guilt he felt at ignoring their plea.
~~~~~~~~~
"The Best of Pink Floyd. I bet the Watcher'd like this." he said, almost happy that he'd managed to find another gift. "Of course, I'll have to mail it."
Coming to his favorite music store had been a stroke of genius. After ten minutes he'd manage to mark several names off of his shopping list.
The video section of the store had offered up a few of these gifts. For Tera he'd purchased the video The Witches of Eastwick, not sure of what else to get her. He'd also bought My Best Friends a Vampire for Dawn, though he planned on buying her something else latter. For Anya he'd purchased a documentary on the history of currency.
Now he only a gift and a half to go....
~~~~~~~~~
"It's not like there's ever a Buffy Christmas ep anyway." Spike muttered (as well as breaking the fourth wall) as he made his way through the teeny bopper store he'd found. The punked out vamp felt out of place among the glitter and neon colors. He also couldn't help but notice the odd looks the shop's other patrons were giving him as he browsed the aisles jewelry and fluff filled aisles.
"Nibblet, you better love this." he said, finally deciding on light purple nail polish and a notebook that proclaimed it's owner was a princess. Which she was as far as he was concerned.
He paid for the items quickly, eager to leave.
It didn't, however, keep him from picking up a bottle of black polish for himself.
~~~~~~~~~~
Why, oh, why had he decided an article of clothing would be nice? That was of course, before he'd discovered just how much of a chore clothes shopping for a woman (especially a woman who's relationship to him was rather undefined) could really be.
Spike made his way from rack to rack, occasionally taking a shirt to give it a second once over. He replaced each shirt, grumbling that she'd never wear it anyway.
He couldn't help thinking how much easier it had been to get presents for Dru. A lovely gown with a lovely girl to eat, and she'd been a very pleased sire.
"Can I help you with anything?" asked a young lady who'd come up beside him suddenly.
He was about to answer 'no' in annoyance, but stopped himself when he suddenly realized that a woman's perspective might no be all that bad.
"Well, pet, you might be able to at that. I'm trying to find a gift for-"
He was suddenly cut off by the sound of a growl and a scream. The all too familiar noises came from the direction of the check-out counter where another clerk had been posted.
"You think they'd learn." he thought, as he headed off only not to be shocked by the scene spread before him.
The clerk (or very soon to be ex clerk) was currently being drained by what Spike suspected to be a fledgling vamp, since only a newbie would be killing off people in such a busy place.
"Come on, you stupid git, we'll have none of that." he drawled sauntering up to the younger vamp.
The vamp's head shot up at the sound of the British voice. He grinned at the master vampire with bloody fangs, apparently thinking Spike a human with misplaced bravado.
The fledgling dropped the half drained woman to the floor. Spike rolled his eyes as it lunged at him snarling all the while. He easily blocked the younger's attack, and countered by smashing his fist against it's face.
The demon reeled back, surprise not quite enough to describe his reaction to the blonde's strength.
Spike smirked, allowing his human mask to melt away. The golden eyes of his "game face" shined smugly at the fledgling's shock.
"I thought I said there'd be none of that."
Filled with rage at the traitor, the vampire growled, and launched another sloppy attack. Growing tired of the exchange, Spike pulled a stack from beneath his duster, and stuck it home in the fledgling's chest. A second later, it's dust covered the ground and Spike's boots.
He made sure his human face was in place before turning back to the clerk that had been helping him.
"So," he started asking before having completely turned around. " what can I get for a girlfriend that's not really my girlfriend, but could be my girlfriend, cept she can't seem to make up 'er mind?"
His query wasn't answered though, because the clerk had already fainted.
"Well, bugger all..."
~~~~~~~~~~
After leaving the clothes store (and tipping off a security guard), the blonde vamp was fed up and ready to go home. The mall was closing soon, and he just couldn't take it anymore.
He still didn't have anything for Buffy, nor did he have any idea what to get the petite Slayer.
"I could always give her money," he thought, "though knowing her she'd probably take offense to it..."
His thoughts trailed off as he passed the Hallmark display window. He smiled at the tiny trinket that sat beyond the glass. William the Bloody had found his gift.
~~~~~~~~
With bags full of presents (as well as wrapping paper he was not looking forward to using), Spike made his way out of the mall. He once again made sure to exit a different door in hopes that it wasn't guarded by another St. Nick doppelganger.
~Ring Ding!~
No such luck.
He passed the Santa quickly, dreading the question he knew was coming. What did he care about the needy? He lived in a crypt for goodness sake! So what if there were a bunch of little kids out there whose parents couldn't afford Christmas? So what if those were kids like his Lil Bit, who wouldn't get to spend Christmas Eve watching bloody "It's A Wonderful Life"? What did he care?
Bloody heck.
Spike turned on his heal, and stomped intimidatingly back to the Santa.
The Santa, fearing for his life, paused mid ring.
"Here!" yelled the vampire, shoving a ten dollar bill into the red collection tin. "Just leave me alone, will ya!?"
His duster made another ~swish~ as he turned and left.
"I'm turning into such a poofter."
~~~~~~~~~
Four nights later, on Christmas Eve, Buffy Summers returned to her house after patrolling. She strolled up to the front steps, and stopped upon seeing a bag of gifts. Curiosity taking control of her, she unlocked the front door, and took the bag inside.
There were two packages inside of the bag. One was a medium sized gift bag addressed to 'Nibblet'. The other was a box addressed to her.
She unwrapped the package, not caring that the gift was obviously from Spike. The shed paper revealed a gift box underneath, though it was what was inside the box that made her gasp.
Buried under protective tissue paper, rested a crystal angel statuette. Underneath it was a piece of paper, a short sentence handwritten onto it's surface.
To an angel ripped from heaven.
Merry Christmas everyone!