Summary: Hikaru and Akira cross the fine line they walk in their rocky relationship, the line between rivals and lovers.
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go is written by Yumi Hotta and the animated series was created by Studio Pierrot. Please do not construe the writing of this fanfiction as a claim to ownership in any way.
Back-story: This story follows the events of the anime. Hikaru and Akira met when they were in 6th grade in Toya's salon, and so on. Hikaru is 18 and Akira is 17 when the story begins. They have both been pros for some time, but this story will not focus on their professional lives. It begins as Akira realizes what his feelings towards Hikaru mean, and he is desperate to be around him in a private setting. In order to see him, he devises a plan in which he schedules a game between the two, but it doesn't exactly go as planned…
Prologue
Toya Akira felt it, like a dim vibration at the entrance of the room. Though his back was to the door, there was no doubt that he was there. He was probably looking around to find his seat, or his opponent. But then, Akira felt his eyes on him. He urged himself not to turn around and look, but he couldn't help it. He slowly craned his neck to lay eyes on Shindo Hikaru, who gave him a nervous smile and a slight wave of his left hand. Akira nodded to acknowledge him, quickly drinking in all the information about him that he could. Once he looked away, he would have no excuse to stare at Hikaru, and so he had to satisfy his curiosity now.
He was wearing faded, flared jeans, a yellow long-sleeved shirt, and a black t-shirt with a circular name brand logo. It was one of three casual shirts that Hikaru wore that did not contain the word 'GO' in some capacity. Due to his staring, Akira had come to recognize Shindo's clothing to an extent, even down to his gym shoes, of which he had a yellow pair, a white pair and a yellow and white pair. Yellow was undoubtedly Hikaru's favorite color, but Akira realized that he really didn't know that for a fact because he had never asked.
They were friends and had been for the past few years, but they were not close. They didn't call each other on whims or hang out with each other outside of work. They rarely interacted while they were at work due to their games taking up a majority of the time they spent together. They both had their own agendas and schedules to follow, Akira's more strenuous than Hikaru's. Hikaru at least had some free time, but he spent that time, Akira had discovered, with his three closest friends.
Some type of closeness would have been nice. Akira wanted to be better friends with Hikaru. He missed the meetings that they used to have after school at Akira's father's salon. As high school courses drew to a close, Akira needed to spend that time studying to maintain his high marks, and he had graduated valedictorian. His family traveled for a month during the summer, and when he returned to Japan, Akira found himself without the ability to capture Hikaru's full attention for longer than a few awkward moments.
They were both, in some ways, avoiding one another because there was an issue there that neither was ready to address. However, Akira was sick of putting it off. He wanted to meet with Hikaru to play, or to talk; to spend time with one another in some way. He was lonely, and eager to continue his friendship with Hikaru especially now that Hikaru was an adult.
The games began shortly after Hikaru arrived. As he played, Akira formulated a plan in his mind to meet with Hikaru under circumstances that would be beneficial to both of them. He would ask Hikaru what evening he would be free, and then Akira would change his plans for that evening to suit Hikaru. Akira assumed it would be best if they played at Akira's house because Hikaru had visited him and his father, Toya Koyo, a few times before and he knew the routine. That and Hikaru had a car, so traveling would be easier for him than it would be for Akira.
At lunchtime, Akira's opponent quickly excused himself from the game and left the room. Akira stood slowly and looked over to Hikaru. He rose from the floor and paused to stretch. He was taller now than anyone thought he would be as an adult because he had spent most of his adolescent years looking up at everyone. He was now a few inches taller than Akira, with a proportionate length to his limbs. He was slender instead of stocky, and Akira found the litheness of his movements alluring. He used to be such a clumsy child, but he had grown into a handsome young man with much appeal. Akira stared at him as he stretched, feeling ashamed at how hard it was to look away. With the room emptying of colleagues who were looking forward to lunching, Akira doubted that anyone was paying him the slightest bit of attention, but as he looked away from Hikaru, he saw that one of Hikaru's closest three friends, Isumi Shinichiro, was watching him. He smiled at Akira shortly before he was joined by Waya Yoshitaka.
Isumi and Waya were a couple, and they did not hide nor flaunt the fact that they were in love. They lived their lives naturally, doing whatever either saw fit for whatever situation they found themselves in. Akira envied them for that, though he would never admit it. Waya was brash and spoke his mind much too often, so Akira didn't particularly like him. Isumi was quiet and studious and therefore similar to Akira, but his GO left much to the imagination. Therefore, Akira didn't find himself attempting to befriend him.
From the outside looking in, Hikaru wasn't the best candidate for friendship either, but over the years, Hikaru had grown on Akira in a way that no one else had. Hikaru was the only person with whom Akira had ever desired friendship with, and as time went on, he became the first and only person Akira had ever desired closeness with. More recently, Akira found himself drawn to Hikaru in a way that he had never felt for anyone before, male or female, even during adolescence. Hikaru had grown up, and it was only a matter of time before the urges and instincts that Akira had stifled behind his schoolwork and his profession came to light. However, Akira was sure that Hikaru would never reciprocate his feelings. Akira had no plans to try to date him. He wanted friendship at this point more than anything, and he would try his hardest to make time to be around Hikaru, feeling that if given the opportunity, Hikaru would definitely jump at the chance to spend time with him.
He was coming over, Hikaru could sense it. He tried to settle his nerves, but they were working over time. He turned around slowly, his breath catching at the sight of Toya Akira as he shuffled closer to him between the GO-boards. Hikaru averted his eyes, unable to look into Akira's face without becoming short of breath. He scratched the back of his head, and looked up briefly as Akira called him.
"Shindo-kun?" When Akira stopped walking, Hikaru caught a whiff of his personal scent. Akira didn't wear cologne, but whatever he used when he showered usually stayed with him throughout the day. It was sweet-smelling, but mellow, and it mixed with Akira's natural scent nicely. Whenever Hikaru just happened to catch wind of it, it always made his stomach tighten with anxiety. Today was no exception and it caused him to wonder why Akira was approaching him all of a sudden.
"What?" Hikaru asked, most ungracefully. Akira smiled very faintly.
"Shindo-kun, would you like to play a game with me?"
"What?"
"GO," Akira said. "Would you like to join me for a game of GO?"
"Ri—right now?" Hikaru asked, feeling both startled and confused. Akira shook his head.
"Oh, no, I was hoping we could get together sometime this weekend. It's been so long since we've been able to play each other casually. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yeah," Hikaru said. He rubbed his arm. He was unbelievably nervous. "So…this weekend, huh? Where?"
"Would you mind coming to my house?" Akira asked. Hikaru wanted to go over Akira's house as soon as yesterday. Preferably when he was alone, and not necessarily with a GO-ban. He nodded quickly.
"Yeah," he stammered.
"What day is good for you?"
"Sunday. I don't have anything to do on Sunday…"
"Great!" Akira breathed, beaming brightly. Hikaru managed a smile in return, though drinking in every one of Akira's features while Akira was smiling was almost more than he could handle. He suddenly had to go to the bathroom, but he tried to ignore that call of nature. He nodded again and pointed at the door.
"I'm gonna eat now," he said.
"Oh, don't let me keep you," Akira said. "Just quickly tell me, is eleven good for you?"
"Yeah," Hikaru said, though it was way too early in the morning. Akira smiled again, and Hikaru was glad that he agreed on eleven. He was even gladder that Akira had extended him the offer in the first place.
"I can't wait," Akira said, and there was a rawness of emotion in his voice and in his actions. Hikaru had to stare at him, because this side of Akira was somewhat new to him. He must have been really excited to play Hikaru. Hikaru wondered if he would be able to keep up the title holder's expectations.
Akira felt giddy with excitement. He couldn't stop smiling even after he left Hikaru's side. He hurried down the hall and into the bathroom where he splashed cold water onto his face. He worked his jaw a few times and slapped his cheeks. The urge to smile remained though he'd managed to stop smiling. He let out a heavy breath and shook his head. He was so happy that Hikaru had agreed. It had seemed that for a moment, he was going to say no, but he hadn't. Akira dried his face and left the bathroom in search of the communal dining area. Since it was already October and there was an unwavering chill to the air, Akira stayed indoors. Ever since vacationing in Europe, he'd grown to appreciate fresh air while eating, but it was just too chilly to do so now. Instead, he chose a remote spot in the back corner of the canteen to eat his lunch in peace, his face buried in a GO periodical to keep his attention off of Hikaru.
On Sunday, October 19th, Akira had gotten up bright and early. He went out to complete his 8 am teaching session with a high paying pupil a few miles from his house and returned home around 10:30. He had already straightened up the night before, and so he didn't have much else to do to prepare for Hikaru's visit other than to set out a tray of snacks that he kept chilled in the refrigerator and then to set the GO-ban out for use in his bedroom. They usually played in Toya Koyo's den, but Akira didn't want to bother his father's room when he was not home.
Akira settled at his desk to continue work on a personal project while he waited for Hikaru. He kept his room door open to listen for a phone call, but none came. Akira kept a close eye on the clock, his anticipation piquing at 11:00 on the dot. Time went on, and there was still no word from Hikaru. Akira urged himself to remain calm, convincing himself that Hikaru was rarely on time anywhere, and that he would arrive soon.
Ten minutes went by and Akira could no longer concentrate on his work. He got up and went out to the living room where he looked out the window to watch for Hikaru and/or his bright yellow car. Five minutes passed this way. Akira chewed on his bottom lip, contemplating calling Hikaru's home phone number, but it was possible that Hikaru was already on his way and therefore unable to receive and make calls. Akira's patience was slowly diminishing. 11:20 came and went, and then 11:25, 11:30 and so on.
At a quarter to noon, Toya Akiko came out of her bedroom and into the living room where she spotted her son sitting in an edgy perch on the couch. She walked towards him and leaned to see his expression better. Akira turned his head away slightly.
"Akira-san, what's wrong?"
"Oh…it's nothing, mother," Akira said.
"Well…why are you out here? Are you waiting for your father?"
"No… A phone call," Akira said. "A very important phone call. It's late coming, though."
"How late is it?"
"Almost an hour."
"Well, perhaps you should call the number and see whether or not it would be best to reschedule. Being made to wait isn't a productive use of time. You're better than this, Akira." Akira nodded and stood up. Akiko went into the kitchen and shut the double sliding doors, closing it off from the living room. Akira walked over to the wall phone, took the receiver off of the hook and cradled it between his shoulder and cheek. Fighting back his anger and tears at being stood up, he recalled Hikaru's home phone number from memory.
"Moshi, moshi," Hikaru's mother said in an excitable voice. Akira's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "This is the Shindo residence."
"Hi, Shindo-san," Akira said. "My name is Toya Akira, I'm looking for Hikaru."
"Oh, right," Mrs. Shindo said. "How are things going for you, Toya-kun?" Akira was always startled at how cheerful and friendly Mrs. Shindo was.
"Just fine, Shindo-san, thank you."
"That's great. Wait just a moment. Hikaru's up in his room." Akira's brow furrowed even more. Mrs. Shindo put him on hold and about a minute later, Hikaru picked up.
"Hey, Toya…"
"Shindo…why are you at home? We were supposed to meet an hour ago."
"Oh… Uh…I forgot to tell you, uh…I had something come up and I couldn't make it." Akira had to consciously keep his jaw from dropping. Anger rose within him quickly; he paced to relieve some of his frustration.
"You're 'up in your room'," he said, using Mrs. Shindo's own words. "What could you be up to that's so important that you could not be here when you said you would be?"
"I'm getting ready for it," Hikaru said quickly. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just can't make it. Maybe some other time."
"Some other time when?" Akira asked.
"I dunno, sometime after Halloween." Akira tried to keep himself from rolling his eyes. It hurt how unremorseful Hikaru was acting.
"Halloween is a more important appointment to keep than I am, is that what you're saying?" Akira asked.
"No, that's not it," Hikaru said. "I just won't have any free time until the 1st."
"Then we will meet on the 2nd. That's a Sunday, right?"
"Y—yeah…" Silence stretched.
"Shindo…why didn't you just call me and tell me?"
"I'm sorry, Toya."
"That's not an answer."
"I…I was too nervous… I…didn't wanna have to call you and say something like that."
"So instead, you make me sit here and wait for you all this time, wondering if you're going to call or show up? That is so rude, Shindo."
"I won't do it again, okay?"
"I hope you enjoy doing whatever you decided was more important than a game with me, Shindo." Hikaru didn't say anything. "Can you at least promise me that you'll meet me here at my house at the same time on the 2nd?"
"Can…can it be later?"
"What time?"
"Huh?"
"What time, what time do you have in mind, Shindo?" Akira rued the fact that he could not hide his impatience, but on the other hand, he felt he had to let Hikaru know what he was feeling.
"Oh, uh… Like, one."
"Write it down if you have to," Akira said. "I would like to be the only thing you schedule for that time, instead of being replaced with some other task and then not being told about it."
"I'll write it down," Hikaru said quickly. "I have to go… I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Fine," Akira said. Hikaru hung up. Akira set the receiver on the base and scowled at it. He didn't know what could be going through Hikaru's head, but he was determined not to let him forget how much he had hurt him.
"You lied…" Fujiwara-No-Sai, Hikaru's ghostly companion, a spirit hailing from the Heian-jidai, said solemnly, his eyes worried. "Why did you lie to Toya-kun? Don't you want to meet him?"
"Of course I do, Sai, what d'ya think?" Hikaru was back in his room after taking the phone call from Akira. He was sprawled on his bed feeling like absolute crap. Sai was seated at his GO-board watching him.
"Why didn't you just call him?"
"Because I just couldn't Sai. Stop pestering me."
"So you're going to spend this time sulking in bed instead of doing something productive? If you at least play with me, your lie won't be as bad."
"Leave me alone, Sai," Hikaru said slowly, his patience being thoroughly tested. "I don't wanna be bothered right now." There was a knock at the door. Hikaru lifted his head, then lowered it quickly, changing his mind about getting up to answer it. "What, ma?" Mrs. Shindo opened the door and poked her head into the room.
"What did Toya-kun want?" she asked.
"To ask something about work," Hikaru grumbled.
"Why have you been moping about all day?" Mrs. Shindo asked, coming into the room. "Why don't you meet one of your friends…? Is Toya free? You can go see him."
"Ma, I'm not in the mood right now," Hikaru said. "I just wanna lay here, okay? I worked hard all week, I just wanna chill right now." Mrs. Shindo sat next to him and rubbed his back.
"I heard you talking with him, Hikaru," she admitted. "If you want to see him, then why not just go?"
"Ma…" Hikaru complained.
"You run too much, Hikaru," Mrs. Shindo said. She leaned over and kissed his temple. "I love you."
"Hmph." Mrs. Shindo got up and left the room. Sai stood up and went over to the bed.
"So…no game, huh?" he asked.
"I wanna play with Toya…"
"Then get up and go over there." Hikaru grabbed a pillow and put it over his head. Sai sighed. Hikaru couldn't explain to anyone just yet why he was feeling the way that he was. He didn't want to complicate things, but he felt that they were changing outside of his control, and he didn't know what he could do to stop it.
After almost two weeks of catching grief from Akira, Hikaru was loathed to join Waya, Isumi and their friend Mitani Yuki, for their Halloween party. He'd barely had time to get his costume at the last minute the night before; he wasn't excited about what he'd found. Halloween morning, he'd had a game and lost it, as he had half the games he'd played since standing Akira up. It was hard to concentrate with Akira glaring at him whenever they faced each other, as well as it was hard to hear his disappointment and anger when Hikaru compiled loss after loss.
Hikaru didn't want Akira to lose faith in him. He wanted him to respect him. He decided to view their next meeting as a way to get Akira off of his back. No matter what, he couldn't refuse Akira. He had to show up and face him. After he did that, he wouldn't be nervous around him, and he would have proved that he wasn't a total flake. He couldn't allow the situation to continue to cause him to play as badly as it had been lately.
On his way out the door of the Institute, Akira caught up with him on the sloped sidewalk. Hikaru averted his eyes even after Akira tried to make eye contact with him.
"Shindo-kun…" he said.
"Yeah?"
"I…I think we should talk."
"About what?"
"About what's been going on with you lately… Why have you been…?"
"Look, I have a lot of things going on right now," Hikaru said. "I don't feel like talking about it, okay?" Hikaru started to walk away. Akira followed him, unfazed.
"Are we friends?" he asked.
"What kind of question is that?" Hikaru asked. "Of course we're friends."
"Then why…why are you so hesitant to talk to me?"
"Because I need some time, okay, Toya?"
"You…you can call me, Shindo…" Akira said. Hikaru pursed his lips in displeasure. He had called Toya, probably more often than he should have. He was never home, or otherwise unavailable to take Hikaru's calls. Toya Akiko had started to sound annoyed with him, and so Hikaru stopped calling altogether.
"Yeah, I know…" Akira kept walking with him onto the next block.
"Are…are you busy tonight, Shindo?"
"Yeah."
"Is it with…Halloween?"
"Yeah."
"Could I… Could I join you?" Hikaru stopped walking. He looked over to Akira slowly.
"I didn't know you liked Halloween," he said.
"I don't," Akira said. "I just…wanted to see how you celebrated it."
"You wouldn't have any fun," Hikaru said. "We aren't going out this year. We're chilling at Mitani's."
"Mitani's…?" Akira asked, and his face scrunched in displeasure. Mitani Yuki was the last person Akira wanted to spend an evening with. He was worse than Waya in his lack of tact and he did things that Akira found abhorrent. He looked away. Hikaru reached up and lightly punched his arm.
"If you want to hang out, we'll do it on Sunday," he said. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"And you promise you won't cancel."
"I promise, Toya." Akira nodded.
"Okay…"
"Where you headed?"
"I should probably get home. Father's group is meeting on the hour."
"You want a ride?"
"No, I don't want to trouble you," Akira said. "You just go on and enjoy your party, okay?" Hikaru nodded. Akira turned around and started back towards the Institute. Hikaru sighed and headed home.
When he arrived, he was startled to see his mother and father sitting in the living room with his paternal uncle, a peculiar middle-aged man with a handlebar mustache. Hikaru's dad's family was based out of Northwestern Europe. Hikaru only remembered his uncle because he was the only paternal relative besides his father that had been born in Japan. Theodore Shindo spent time there every once and a while, visiting his brother when the two found time to meet during the visits.
Hikaru was prepared to sneak away up to his room. His uncle was extremely strange and Hikaru didn't want to sit and talk with him. However, his mother called him into the room to greet him, and the news he had to bare made it impossible for Hikaru to leave.
"Hikaru," Theo said, taking Hikaru by the hand and pulling him in for a hug. "You've grown so much since I last saw you. How have you been?"
"Good," Hikaru said. Theo's accent was thick, making him hard to understand. "What brings you here all of a sudden?"
"Your grandmother's birthday is tomorrow," Mr. Shindo said. "We're going to take a trip to visit her. You turned 18 this year, and she hasn't seen you since you graduated from middle school."
"Oh… When?" Hikaru asked.
"Well, Theo's staying over tonight, and tomorrow we'll leave in the afternoon," his father said.
"But what about work?" Hikaru said. "And I have a match with Toya on Sunday."
"Oh," Mrs. Shindo said, looking sad. "I know he's looking forward to it, but…this is important, too. Can't you request some time off?"
"Two days isn't going to be a big deal," Hikaru said. "I can just reschedule, I only have one game, but…Toya's going to be really mad."
"Then I'll call him," Mrs. Shindo said. Hikaru nodded.
"Can I still go to Mitani's party?"
"We're going out to dinner tonight," Mr. Shindo said. Hikaru nodded again. It at least gave him an out for both the party and the meeting with Akira and he wanted to do both as much as he didn't want to go through with either of them.
Akira was home when the call from Mrs. Shindo came in. Akiko answered and handed the call over to him. He listened as she explained the unexpected situation, and though he was disappointed, there was nothing Akira could do about it. He was just glad that he received notice prior to the day of the meeting. He didn't want to bother Hikaru's family after finding out that they were receiving a relative, so he declined to speak to Hikaru when Mrs. Shindo offered to put him on the phone. He would speak to Hikaru when he returned from visiting his grandmother, and they would reschedule at that time.
As it turned out, once Hikaru returned, he drowned himself in GO-centric activities to the point where his schedule left him no room to breathe. With a new tournament coming up, Akira couldn't blame him for immersing himself so deeply, though he still longed to play him in a private setting. Akira wouldn't be part of the tournament because he was far advanced in skill over Hikaru, but Hikaru would be competing against many former insei for top honors. Akira gave Hikaru his space until the weekend after the competition ended.
It was Saturday, December 6th.
Akira and Hikaru were both attending the same luncheon where awards would be given for the winners and runners up in the competition. Hikaru was there with his mother and Akira with his father. Akira initially kept his distance from Hikaru while he met up with his friends and talked to them. However, the start of the ceremony was drawing near and Akira was running out of time.
He was nervous to approach Hikaru when he was surrounded by his friends, but he got over that as he moved towards Hikaru. He tapped him gently on the shoulder and Hikaru turned around.
"Oh, hey, Toya," he said with a smile. Akira smiled in return. It was a big change from how Hikaru reacted to him in the past.
"How are you?"
"I'm good. I did good in the tournament, I only lost twice." Akira nodded. He knew all about how Hikaru had done in the tournament. Amano at the Institute had begun to anticipate when Akira would come into the newsroom to ask about the current results for Hikaru. Amano wasn't supposed to tell, but Amano wasn't exactly the best rule follower in the business.
"I'm glad," Akira said. "Listen…I was wondering if…now that your competition is over, you'd like to join me next Sunday for our game." Hikaru nodded.
"Yeah," he said. "It'll be about time." Akira smiled again.
"Well then…I'm glad," he said. "Good luck tonight."
"Thanks, Toya." Hikaru gave his arm a light punch. Akira wasn't sure what that gesture meant, or what he was supposed to do in return. He just smiled and bowed slightly before he walked away.
"Why Toya all up in your business?" Waya asked, watching Akira walk away.
"He wanna play me because we hardly ever play anymore," Hikaru explained. "But I dunno… It's like…in the past when I knew I was gonna play him, I got all nervous and started losing but…this past month, right, when I knew I wasn't gonna play him because we didn't plan it? It's like, I been doing real good all over again."
"It's just 'cos you always nervous around him," Waya said. "You gotta get over that. I mean…Toya good, but he ain't that good."
"Hm…" Hikaru shrugged. "I'm gonna grab a few more cookies before this thing start." He left Waya and Isumi to approach the table filled with small snacks for the attendees to nibble on before the show started. He grabbed a handful of cookies and stacked them precariously on the small plate he'd picked up. He put two in his mouth to make carrying the plate easier, but then realized that he could still fit at least two extras on the plate and have more cookies if he just watched where he was going with his plate.
He selected two of the tastier cookies and held them steady as he turned towards where his mother was seated. He started to walk over when he realized that he'd spotted Toya in the corner of his eye. He looked back at him, watching as he embraced Ashiwara Hiroyuki, and then shook hands with Ogata Seiji. Hikaru was displeased at seeing the closeness of the exchanges. How come Akira rarely touched Hikaru, but he was hugging on Ashiwara as if they were that close?
Hikaru perked when he noticed that Waya had come over to him.
"What?" he mumbled.
"Stop giving that Ashiwara guy the evil eye and come on. My mom wants to see you."
"I'm not," Hikaru said. He swallowed down his cookies with one last glance back at Toya. He was chatting and laughing with Ashiwara. They were a little too chummy for Hikaru's taste. He wondered what he could do to put an end to it as he approached Waya's mother.
The award ceremony went by without a hitch. Hikaru, Ochi Kosuke, Waya and Isumi had all received some honors. Hikaru tried to use that boost in confidence and ego to carry him through his scheduled games, but it didn't work. He was simply too worried about playing Akira again. He didn't want to lose against him, but it seemed that with every loss Hikaru compiled, Akira would just keep getting further and further away from him. He was coming to believe that the only thing he could do to ease his anxiety was to permanently cancel the game, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Akira was excited about it, Hikaru knew that he was. And the game fell on his birthday, which Hikaru hadn't realized until he looked at his calendar to mark that Sunday as their game day. How could he hurt Akira on his birthday?
December was in full swing. Christmas decorations sprang up almost overnight, and the city was alight with winter cheer. Akira had never known his city to be so attuned to the Western holiday, but he wasn't complaining. His family didn't celebrate Christmas, but several of his fellow pros did, and he had learned about exchanging gifts and Christmas trees and a little more about the bulbous, rosy cheeked man with white hair that he had always found slightly repulsive.
Akira was watching wistfully as the city was draped with its first decent snowfall of the season. He was at dinner with his mother and father, and neither seemed upset by the fact that Akira found himself distracted. Akira knew that winter was Hikaru's favorite season. He had been told before that Hikaru's family celebrated holidays that most other Japanese families did not because of his mixed blood. Mr. Shindo kept the traditions alive each year. The year before, Hikaru had invited Akira over for Christmas dinner, but Akira hadn't wanted to intrude on what Hikaru described as a formal family dinner. Relatives had come in, and Akira felt that he would only be the odd person out.
However, knowing that Hikaru wanted to have him over to help his family celebrate Christmas got Akira to thinking about what would be the most likely occasion for which he could manage to drag Hikaru over to his house. If he tried to hold some kind of Christmas get together, he would only wind up messing up the foreign event. However, he was familiar with the celebration of the New Year on December 31st. He felt confident that even though he had never properly "rang in" the New Year, that he could pull it off convincingly and win Hikaru's attentions in a casual setting.
That decided, Akira returned his focus to his parents at the table. They were enjoying their meal in silence, which was highly unusual for their dinners. Their dinners were generally arranged by Koyo, but sometimes by Akiko and Akira when they felt they had something on their mind that they wanted to discuss. Koyo usually took the time in his planned meals to spring the news of an upcoming trip, who it would involve, and how long it would last. That night, it was Akiko's idea for the dinner. She had wanted to discuss repairs to the kitchen and after a brief talk over their appetizers, Koyo and Akira both agreed to help in getting the repairs in motion.
It wasn't often that their conversations lasted such a short period of time. Akira continued to think about the party he wanted to throw, and then it dawned on him that he wouldn't be able to go along with it without his parent's permission. He became a little nervous after realizing that. As he finished his meal, he looked over to his father and wondered what his response would be. Akira had never asked them anything of the sort, but he was almost 18. It wouldn't hurt to show them that he was up for socializing and throwing parties, as Akiko and Koyo often did in the community.
"Father…?" Koyo had just dabbed a napkin at the corner of his mouth, but lowered it quickly to address his son.
"Yes, Akira?"
"I would like to know if it would be all right if I threw a small gathering for the New Year." Koyo pondered this for a short while.
"Who would you invite?" he asked.
"I would ask certain pros, such as Ashiwara-kun, and Ogata-san. Kurata-kun, Shindo-kun."
"And where would you hold it?" Koyo asked, nodding.
"If it was all right with you, and all right with mother, I would like to use the house. It would only be for the evening and early morning. We'll eat dinner, and then play GO before the countdown. I hear there will be fireworks that can be seen from our front yard, so perhaps we will step outside to see them." Koyo nodded again.
"I don't see the harm in that," he said. Akira bowed his head slightly.
"Thank you so much, father," he said.
"Would you like me to do anything?" Akiko asked.
"Oh, no," Akira said. "It is my idea, so I will handle all of the preparations." Akiko smiled, but it was slightly off. Akira wondered if she was just apprehensive about Akira trying to manage his first party on his own, or if she had some other concern.
"I'm just trying to understand where he's coming from with this," Akiko said. She was in the middle of dressing for bed. Koyo was reading a book in bed while waiting for her to join him. He sat the book aside as Akiko went on. "I just have the feeling that…it just isn't his idea. That someone may have put the idea in his mind. Akira has never cared for parties, or celebrating the New Year before."
"He's getting older, Akiko-san. It's to be expected."
"It's just not like him," Akiko said. "I don't want him to change…"
"Akira may be going through a phase," Koyo said. "He'll be over it soon. So long as he doesn't get mixed in with a bad crowd, he'll be fine."
"I wonder though," Akiko said straightening her night gown. She shuffled over to the bed and sat down slowly on the firm mattress. "I wonder why he thought to invite Shindo Hikaru."
"They are friends," Koyo said. "And they've bonded through GO."
"I understand that, but…Shindo isn't… He's just the orange in the bowl of apples… He doesn't fit in with your crowd."
"Shindo-kun will do fine," Koyo said.
"His friends are…" Akiko shivered. She didn't want to speak ill of anyone because it was rude, but she and her husband shared the same unpleasant opinion about Hikaru's closest friends.
"Akira doesn't plan to invite them," Koyo said, and he sounded sure. However, Akira hadn't given a complete guest list. Akiko just hoped that he wouldn't dare to bring those people into her home. She didn't know how she would handle it. Koyo reached up and rubbed Akiko's back.
"Are you coming to bed?" he asked her. Akiko nodded. She turned out her lamp as Koyo turned out his. As she settled next to him, she knew she would have a restless night worrying about her son and the company he planned to keep.