Title: Anytime
Author: Ras (Robin)
Spoilers: 285 South
Rating: G
Author's note: I wrote this story after hearing Brian McKnight's "Anytime" on the radio. It seemed so appropriate for Kyle, that I had to make a story out of it.
Summary: Written mid-first season. Max and Liz are supposed to go to the homecoming dance together. When he doesn't show, will it be a chance for Kyle?
Disclaimer: Characters in this story are based on the television series and books entitled "Roswell." They are copyrighted by the WB Television Network and Melinda Metz. Certain scenes from Roswell episodes are used as a background for the story; these scenes are copyrighted by the previous companies. The characters are being used in a nonprofit way of showing appreciation of the show and books. The lyrics to the song used in this story are from Brian McKnight's "Anytime" and are copyrighted to him and PGD/Motown Records. No infringement is intended in any part by the author.
Liz stared at the sign above the lockers. "Homecoming dance Saturday Nov. 13, 8 PM" She had been waiting on Max to ask her forever, but the time for waiting was over. After all, she was a woman of the nineties, at least that's what Maria had said. Max approached her with a smile, opening his locker.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey, how was class?"
"I've always found PE basketball to be life altering . . . you?"
She smiled. "I actually wanted to ask you something . . ."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"Well you know the homecoming dance is this weekend and . . ." Liz started playing with her hands while she talked, why did she always do that when she was nervous? "I was just wondering if . . ."
"I'd love to . . ."
"You would?"
"Yeah, I'd love to go get a coke. Wanna come with and then you can ask me whatever it is you were going to ask me?"
Liz pretended to get angry and smacked him. At least she had figured out his sense of humor. "I hate you."
"Of course I'll go to the dance with you. Meet you there at 8?"
Liz nodded with a grin.
********
"Hey, Kyle. What's this I hear about Liz and Evans going to the homecoming dance together?"
"What?" Kyle asked infuriated.
"Sorry, man. Thought you had heard. It's all around school that Liz asked him," the friend informed before walking off.
Kyle glanced around to make sure he was alone. "Damn it!" he yelled as he punched the locker next to him, leaving a sizable dent. His hand swelled with pain, but he hit it again and again.
"Mr. Valenti!"
"Miss. Topalski, I um . . ." Kyle stammered.
"In my office, NOW," she commanded.
Kyle sighed and followed her into the office, cradling the injured hand. "Look, I'm sorry about the locker. I'll pay for the damages."
"This isn't about the locker, Kyle. Your grades have been steadily dropping for the past month, your coach has told me that you've been having problems at practice, you have an unexcused absence from school yesterday, and now you're punching lockers. I think its time we had a talk."
Kyle didn't respond.
"Does this have something to with Liz Parker?" Miss Topalski asked.
"How did you know about that? Did Liz talk to you about us?" Kyle was suddenly concerned.
"I have spoken with her, yes, but anything we said is strictly confidential."
"She told you that we broke up?"
"Why don't you tell me what's going on . . . from your side, Kyle."
Kyle examined the floor for a minute. Was he really going to spill his guts to some high school guidance counselor? But, if Liz had talked to her . . . "It's just that . . . I care about her so much. I can't stand to see her getting into trouble with Evans."
"What type of trouble?"
"I don't know, like yesterday she just runs off with him to God knows where . . . to a hotel room with 5 people in Texas of all places. And when I show up to look out for her, she's furious. It's none of my business. I love her . . . so how could anything that hurts her not be my business. I mean, I know I don't have any right to . . . tell her what she can and can't do, I KNOW I'm not her boyfriend anymore, and if she wants to be with someone else . . .but, when she's obviously doing something dangerous, she won't even let me care for her as a friend. It's like . . . she hates me now, when I all I want to do is protect her. I'd rather have a hundred knives slowly driven through my heart than watch someone hurt her."
Outside the slightly opened door, Liz Parker covered her mouth. She hadn't meant to overhear. The pass she had received was written for right after school. She didn't know that Kyle was in there. But she had heard it. How could she have been so wrong about Kyle? All this time she thought he was just being possessive, but he was really worried about her. He had said that he loved her, he cared about her, he wanted to protect her. He was trying to be a good friend following her down to Texas, just like she had gone to help Maria. And she had been so mean to him . . . and Michael had hit him . . . no wonder he was so worried. Liz made a mental note; she had to apologize to Kyle.
"Liz!" Miss Topalski's voice pulled Liz from her thoughts. "Glad you could make it. I'll be ready for you in ten minutes, okay?"
"Great," Liz sighed.
********
"Rumor around school is that you're going to the homecoming dance with Liz tomorrow," Michael said pushing himself into Max's room and flopped down in Max's chair.
"You came to enquire about my social life at 3 AM?"
"No, Max, I came to enquire about our safety at 3 AM. We agreed you would stay away from her."
"Well things have kinda changed since . . ."
"Nothing has changed, Max. She's still a risk; and having a relationship with her is an even bigger risk. What happens when she gets ticked off at you and runs to tell the sheriff's son all about us?"
"Michael what do you want me to do? She already knows . . ."
"Convince her that you aren't boyfriend material and that she should just forget all about you, before things get out of hand."
"Fine," Max conceded. "I'll explain things to her at the dance."
"No, you aren't going to the dance. Don't you understand? You have got to get out of her life."
********
"He's not coming, Maria. He's an HOUR late. I can't believe he stood me up!"
"Calm down, Liz. Maybe he's just running a little late, or maybe he has a good excuse . . . some sort of . . . Czechoslovakian flu or something."
"Isabel and Michael are both here. If he were coming, he would have come with one of them. And if he were sick or something, he could have called or sent a message. He just didn't want to come here with me."
"Liz, you're overreacting. Give Max some credit."
After the ups and downs of the past few days, her brain no longer allowed her to be sensible. Miss Topalski had conducted her own version of the Spanish Inquisition about Max and Texas yesterday, and her father was not to happy to hear about his daughter missing school. The fear from that trip made her mind jump to all the worst conclusions. "You know he probably never even wanted to come with me from the beginning. Maybe I've been wrong about his feelings all along. He's just . . . been nice to me so I won't tell his secret," Liz had started crying.
"You know he cares about you, why else would he have risked everything to save you?" Maria wasn't use to being the voice of reason, but she was trying.
"You know we haven't even kissed! He's been playing with my emotions the whole time." Liz brushed a tear from her cheek.
"Liz, . . ." Suddenly, a worried look came over Maria's face. "I don't want to make things worse, but Kyle Valenti in 5, 4, 3 . . ."
"Liz?" Kyle approached.
"Hey, Kyle," Liz whispered wiping the final tears from her face.
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah, it's . . . nothing . . ."
A new song played:
Can't remember why we fell apart
With something that was so meant to be
"I, um, requested the song," he whispered to the floor before giving her a quick glance.
Liz gave Kyle a slight smile. After yesterday in Miss Topalsky's office, she understood him so much more. He really was a good friend.
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
"Do you want to dance . . . as friends?" Kyle cautiously asked.
Liz thought a moment. "Sure, Kyle . . . actually, I'd like that."
He reached out for her hand and led her onto the dance floor. He hesitated, unsure how exactly to hold her. Would she want his touching her at all? Fortunately, Liz answered the question by putting her arms loosely around his neck. Kyle softly laid his large hands on the lower part of her back.
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?
I miss you
Kyle stared into her eyes. God he had missed her. Not just being her boyfriend, but everything about her. Her smile . . . he missed her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she was happy.
"I've missed you, Liz," he whispered as he brushed her hair slightly out of her face. He gently caressed her cheek, "just being around you."
Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice driving me insane
Liz smiled. "I've . . . missed you, too, Kyle," she whispered. Liz lent in and hugged him, laying her head on his shoulder.
Kyle rubbed her back and stroked her hair. She smelled so wonderful . . . he had missed the way her hair smelled. He thought for a moment. He wasn't really sure what was going on with her, or why she was dancing with him right then, but it didn't matter. She was there, in his arms, and he just wanted to capture that moment forever.
How I wish that you would call to say-ay-ay-ay
Can't remember why we fell apart
With something that was so meant to be
Liz held Kyle tightly. Somehow, right then it just felt right. He felt safe. She wanted to remember what that felt like . . . safe. Liz buried her head in his strong chest. She HAD been somewhat happy in her old life, before Max Evans . . . it had been normal. But was normal what she really wanted out of life?
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Kyle caught someone out of the corner of his eye, Max Evans. Kyle shot him the iciest glance he could. Did he think that he could just walk in here and take Liz away from him? Would Liz leave his arms again?
No more loneliness and heartache
No more crying myself to sleep
No more wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me, come back to me?
Max couldn't believe his eyes. She was dancing with Kyle. In an instant, Max's heart shattered on the floor. Pieces flew across the room. Did this mean she had gone back to him . . . that they were a couple again?
Max was so preoccupied he didn't even notice Michael walk up next to him.
"Thought you weren't coming," Michael accused.
"No, I guess I shouldn't have," Max whispered not taking his eyes off of Liz, and Kyle's arms around her. Max stared until he could feel the tears forming, he couldn't turn away from the torture. She was the rhythm of his life; seeing her with someone else left him a paralyzed.
The song ended, but Liz and Kyle held tightly. They slowly turned around the dance floor. "Max?" Liz dropped her arms the minute she saw him.
It was too late; Max bolted out of the gym. Liz didn't hesitate a moment; she ran as fast as her legs would take her, breaking a heel along the way. Tears blurred her vision, but she had to catch him. He was already at the jeep. "Max!" she called.
She caught up with him as he was getting in the jeep. He didn't say anything; he just watched her through mournful eyes, never letting go of his tight grip on the door. Liz noticed the handle to the jeep was melting! "Please, go back and be with Kyle." With these pained words, he jumped in the jeep and drove off.
"Max!" she stood there crying.
********Part 2********
Max flipped on the radio and fell back on his bed. He fully intended to lay there existing off of his misery forever. Seeing the image of Liz in Kyle's arms would be his eternal punishment. In agony, he let his out of focus glance fall upon the ceiling. This was more pain than he could have ever imagined possible. It had been bad before, when he had been beaten up, when he anguished over whether to avoid Liz as Michael had commanded . . . but at all of those times he always felt loved, Liz's love. Max let the tears sting his eyes; he refused to blink; he just let the pain build. He wanted Liz to be happy; he really did. He knew she could never be with him, but seeing her with Kyle . . . watching it in slow motion over and over . . .it was more anguish than he had ever thought possible. It was worse than before he had saved her. He had ALWAYS loved her, from before he could remember, and had known that it was impossible, that he would have to admire from afar all of his life. But this was worse, much worse. He slowly realized why: he knew how wonderful being with Liz really could be now. Sure, he had imagined before, but his imagination couldn't compare to the reality of being with Liz. Now, he had a real taste of how amazing being with her for just an instant could be . . . having that ripped away from him so suddenly . . . . it was more than his heart could bare. Max finally closed his eyes and let the tears fall freely. He couldn't live, without her he was hallow.
********
Liz stood where the jeep once was. Crying was the only action she was capable of at that moment. She was aware that Kyle and Michael had both followed her out, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything but the occupant of that jeep that had been right there.
"Did you two _HAVE_ to make such a scene? I think there was an elderly couple in Albuquerque that didn't hear you!" Isabel scolded. "Does the word DISCRETION mean anything to you?"
Liz didn't move or even acknowledge Isabel's presence. She was frozen.
"Liz?" Isabel asked, lowering her voice. She gently touched her shoulder. Slowly, Liz turned around with a look that was frighteningly distant. She didn't talk; she just stood there crying.
"Liz, honey?" Kyle approached.
As angry as she was at them for the scene, and putting them all at danger . . . Isabel took pity on the shell of a girl in front of her. She lowered her voice to a whispered and asked, "Liz, do you REALLY love my brother? I don't mean puppy love. Do you _REALLY_love Max?"
"Yes, I'd give up everything for him." The response was instantaneous, unconscious. The speed of her response surprised herself.
Isabel took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was doing this. "Get in the car."
"Liz?" Kyle called after her. Liz didn't see or hear him. All she saw was the hurt expression on Max's face.
********
The pain was so intense the muscles in Max's throat tightened to near closure. He thought he might choke, but he didn't care. He enjoyed the pain; that was all he had left.
He heard the creak of his bedroom door opening. He didn't move out of position. "Isabel, PLEASE, I want to be alone."
"Okay," she whispered, "but I brought home someone who needs to see you."
Liz walked into the room. She looked a lot better; something had returned the life to her. Isabel ducked out, shutting the door behind her.
"Max?" Liz whispered.
Max sat straight up. "What are you doing here?"
"Max," she stood dangerously close to him. "Let me ex . . . "
"Don't."
She gave him a confused expression.
"With you standing this close, I'll hear your voice and forget all of the reasons we can't be together."
Liz nodded. "Isabel told me about what happened, with Michael and all." That brought Max's eyes straight to hers. She could see the pain. He didn't have to say anything; she already knew. "Max, Kyle and I were dancing as FRIENDS, because . . . I was lonely, without you."
Max closed his eyes. The anguish was obvious in his face. Liz moved in closer and hugged him, tight. She tried to pull all of the pain she had caused out. She used the telepathic link between them to extract it. At the same time, Max saw the torment she had been through before his arrival.
"Max, I don't care about what CAN be or what we're ALLOWED to be . . . We already are." Liz couldn't stop from crying at this point. He was all she cared about, all that ever mattered.
Max pulled her tighter into an embrace, fixed upon her eyes. She was right, nothing else mattered but them. She was everything he needed. Max had been right about the proximity effect. In each others arms, they let the inevitable happen; they kissed. Slowly at first, then passionately, losing themselves in each other. They didn't need the world.
A knock on the window became increasing louder. Liz started to pull back. She knew whom it was. She didn't want to let him ruin this, to ruin them.
Max pulled her closer, brushed his lips along her cheek, and whispered in her ear. "Let him knock."
********Part 3********
Liz didn't know how he she was going to explain all of this to Kyle, but she knew she had to. That's why she found herself standing outside his home debating her words. She HAD already broken up with him, but . . . he deserved an explanation after last night. It was just the issue of WHAT to say. She had practiced a million versions in her mind, but none of them seemed appropriate.
From inside the house, Liz heard a familiar laughter: her own. She carefully sneaked closer to peer in the window. Kyle was lying on the couch while watching a tape, a tape of his birthday over the summer. It was toward the end of the day, when they were walking back to his car down a rocky hill.
The screen was filed with the smile of Liz Parker. "A little steep isn't it!" she giggled trying to catch her balance by leaning on Kyle.
"Only with those shoes on," he smiled. "But I think I can save my damsel in distress."
"Kyle! No! No, Kyle, I'm too heavy," she complained, but it was too late. Within seconds he had scooped her up in his arms and was carrying her down the hill. "Kyle, you're going to drop me!" she yelled.
"Drop you? Drop you? Me?" he teased while letting her fall a few inches before grabbing her again. This elicited a series of squeals, laughs, and taunting slaps from Liz.
Safely at the bottom of the hill, Kyle returned her to an upright position. "Safe and sound, my dear," he smiled. The couple starred into each others eyes before slowly merging together for a kiss.
The bands across the screen startled Liz back into the present as she realized he was rewinding it.
"Safe and sound." Kiss.
"Safe and sound."
Liz sighed and fell back against the house. This was going to be harder than she thought. But, stalling wasn't going to do her any good. Another deep breath then she rang the doorbell.
The door opened. "Liz!" Kyle smiled with surprise.
"We need to talk, Kyle."
"Yeah, we do," he whispered. They went and sat on the couch; neither one said anything. The silence was unnerving. Liz played with her hands nervously. "So . . ." Kyle stopped the torturous waiting.
Again, Liz lost every word that she had rehearsed. It all seemed impossibly lame right then. "I just . . .um . . . I thought I needed to explain last night." She waited, hoping to get some response from Kyle. He gave her no help. "It's just that I . . . I didn't want you to get the wrong impression you know, because of our dance . . ."
"And what impression am I supposed to have?"
"That I really like you, as a friend."
"As a friend, right. We're back to that again."
Liz was getting frustrated. He wasn't making this easy. "Look, I just . . . I thought I should be the one to tell you . . . that Max and I are officially a couple now."
"That's what you came here to tell me, that you and Max are together?"
"I didn't want your hearing it from someone else, that's all." It sounded stupid now, but she really had been thinking of him when she decided to come tell him.
Kyle moaned and fell back on the arm of the couch. He seemed to leave her and venture off inside a world of his own. He didn't say anything; he didn't look at her; he just starred off into his mind.
"Kyle?"
"Was it that bad, Liz? You and me?" He hit play on the remote and Liz's laugh filled the room. "Was it really that bad?"
She started to feel guilty; she knew she was breaking his heart . . . but, what could she do? "It wasn't BAD, Kyle. It was . . . nice. It's just that I_love_Max."
"You love him." Kyle's eyes were filling with tears. "And not me." His testosterone demanded that he give her a rude comeback, that he hide his pain; but, his heart forbade it.
"I love you differently, Kyle. I care about you as a friend . . "
"Don't, Liz. DON'T make it worse." He wanted to cover for himself, to give her a witty remark. Somehow, at that moment, his heart took control of his entire body and prevented him from doing anything but cry. He had fought it off for too long, and now his emotions demanded that he let the tears flow freely.
"I'm sorry, Kyle," she finally whispered. That's really all she could say, what she came there to say. She did reach for his hand and held it. She gave it a squeeze, trying to make him feel the smallest bit of concern.
Kyle let his eyes close, pushing out more tears. The image of him and Liz kissing replayed in his head. They had had something; he_knew_they had. But, she was giving it all up for Max Evans. No, not giving it up, gave it up; he had already lost her. "Can I hold you?" he couldn't believe he had vocalized the request, but he had. "One last time?"
"Sure," she whispered hesitantly before she stretched herself over his body and into his arms.
Kyle's big arms held her tight, unwilling to let go. She softly laid her head on his chest, and noticed the irregularity in his breathing. He tried to capture every minute detail of what holding her felt like. He knew it was a feeling he'd long for for the rest of his life, but that she wouldn't be there again ANYTIME.