Disclaimer: Believe it or not I don't own CSI:NY, the song Foolish Games belongs to Jewel and the other song Heaven belongs to Bryan Adams.
A/N: This is from Aiden's point of view and is about Danny.
Foolish Games
Well in case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees and...
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
Your breaking my heart
With you it wasn't love at first sight. To me you were a friend, and I was in love with somebody else. But lately I've realised that what I thought of as love was actually just lust. I saw him, I wanted him and he made it easy by wanting me back.
You despised him from the very beginning and didn't hold back your feelings about him from me. I can't actually remember what I thought of what you said to me. I didn't realise it had been jealousy until now. It took me so long to see that their were more to your feelings that by the time I'd realised it I think you were over me. I feel so guilty now about how you must have felt watching me with him, knowing how I felt about him.
I remember the first day I realised that there was something more to how I felt about you. By this time my relationship with the other guy had ended, I had broken up with him because he always treated me as though I couldn't take care of myself and like I was fragile. I was walking down the corridor and you came out of one of the labs and slung your arm around my shoulder and I leaned onto you a little as we continued walking. You held your arm there longer than it was just a casual gesture between friends but not quite long enough to suggest something more. It was somewhere in between.
That's when I realised I wanted it to be something more. But it wasn't too be, had I really waited too long?
I had had a bad weekend, family issues coming back to haunt me and the fact that I hadn't seen you in a week hadn't been helping at all. Then I saw you. You came over and hugged me. Everything was alright again. Nothing else mattered. I wanted to stay in that moment forever. Never wanted to let you go.
I was listening to Bryan Adams last night and the words in the song Heaven hit me particularly hard-
Once in your life you'll find someone
Who will turn you world around
Bring you up when your feeling down
Now nothing could change what you mean to be
There's a lot that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way
Are you that person?
I knew you had feelings for her. I could tell it in the way you looked at her. The way when I was walking with her you came up to me and told her I was your 'good friend'. What the hell does that mean anyway? Good Friend? Where the hell did that come from?
I know that you like her. You caught up with one of my other friends the other night and asked her whether she was seeing anyway. She told me what you said. You don't know that I know. At that moment she said those words I felt my world collapse around me. How could you like her? I know she's my friend and I love her dearly but she's such a player. She loves toying with boys hearts. I don't want her to hurt you. That night I cried myself to sleep, thoughts of you lingering in my mind till dawn.
The next day you came up to me, slinging your arm around my shoulder as though it was just any other day. I didn't have much of a chance to talk to you that day, which was probably a good thing because I had no idea what to say.
I didn't know how to cope for the next couple of days. I had always used you as my safe place, like no matter what went wrong I'd see you and everything would be right again. But it's not working.
That night I made a decision. If that's what you really wanted, if that's what would make you happy I would help set you both up. The thought of you with her made me feel sick but I had no alternative. I didn't want you hurting.
I asked her how she felt about you. She replied that the two of you were good friends. When had that happened? As far as I knew, you hardly knew each other.
I keep hoping that its all a dream, that I will wake up and everything will be back to normal. That we'll be back to normal. I don't know what's going to happen between you and her, but I hope you'll come back to me.
A/N: I might write another chapter, but I'm not sure yet.