She shut herself away from the world in her office, slumped into her chair, and placed her head into her hands. It had been the most horrendous shift; she just could not stop thinking about the young boy and his family, going repeatedly over whether there was anything she could have done differently to change the result. Maybe if she had managed to control her mother, the young family would not have ended up fighting and leaving the young lad thinking he had no other option but to do something reckless and dangerous to get their attention.

"Oh damn" she slammed her hand on the desk in frustration before the door opened; she looked up to find her mother staring back at her

"Mum, what are you still doing here? I thought the warden had come to collect you," she said with concern

"I heard about the young boy, I wanted to see how he was" Adrienne replied

"He's very lucky, a ruptured spleen, and a few broken ribs, it could have been worse" she faked a smile

"And you?" she moved towards Serena "Are you ok?" Serena let out a small sigh "I'm fine mum"

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused you today; I never meant to get in the way"

"I know that" she smiled "Now how are you going to get home? Do you want me to take you?"

"Matthew is waiting for me downstairs"

"I see...good" Serena squeezed her mother's hand gently "I will call you in the morning"

"Why don't you go home too, you look exhausted" Adrienne commented

"I have a few things I still need to do"

"Can't you ask Mr. Griffin to help you out?" she asked innocently

Serena smiled at the sound of his name, if only he had been around today as the voice of reason, as a friend maybe things wouldn't have turned out so badly she thought to herself before opening her mouth to reply "Unfortunately Mr. Griffin is not here, he is on leave...I will be fine honestly"

Adrienne nodded simply before heading off down the corridor, she knew she was never going to win that battle, work always came first with Serena, she never did put herself first, and she was not going to change now. Serena closed the door and headed back to her chair to get started on the report Guy wanted, but before she sat down the door opened. She turned around to find Guy Self, this was the last thing she needed "Serena" he said firmly

"Before you start I know I have screwed up today, I don't need you coming in herehighlighting it thank you"

"What was your mother doing here in the first place?" he asked as he closed the door

"She came to see me that is all"

"Serena you know we don't encourage family members visiting during working hours"

"I didn't ask her to come" she snapped, "She just turned up, what was I to do Guy turn her away, send her home"

"That's exactly what you should have done, you know the rules, and because of her carelessness a young lad could have died today"

"Don't you think I know all this, I was there remember, I saw him fall, I was the doctor on the sceneattending to him, so don't come in here telling me what could have or did happen!"

"It is my job to deal with any issues that directly affect the hospital Serena, you know that and I'm sorry but your mother is currently a big issue"

"She is not an issue Guy, she's my mother" she spat

"I appreciate that, however you need to face the facts, your mother is suffering from dementia and while she is left in this hospital to do as she pleases she is a liability" he said sternly "you need to deal with this and that isn't a request it's an order. If you need leave to be with her I will grant it, whatever I can do to help, I will do, but you have to sort this out. Is that clear?" he asked firmly

Serena could feel the tears building so she just nodded softly; she knew deep down that, she could no longer glaze over what she has known for months. She didn't want to accept that her mother was deteriating and that she would have to make the hardest decision she had ever made to ensure her safety "Is that all?" she managed to say

"That report, I need it on my desk by the morning," he stated before leaving

"Great" she sighed before opening her filing cabinet reaching in for a bottle of wine she always stashed in there. She and Ric would often partake in a little drink after the end of a hard shift, if only he was here now, she really could do with his voice of reason. She had so much to think about, so much to do but right now all she wanted to do was drink herself stupid, to numb the pain. Maybe tomorrow she would wake up and it would all be a dream she thought as she poured the wine into her mug before necking it and pouring herself another.

Over the next hour or so, she worked hard on the report and continued to drown her sorrows in a bottle of wine, it was numbing her pain, and that is all she wanted right now. The screen in front of her was starting to hurt her eyes and the words started to look cloudy, the effects of the alcohol were beginning to take effect. She was no longer thinking clearly, she needed to give up on the report and go home. She closed the lid of her laptop, put her coat on, placed the laptop in her bag, and lifted what was left of the bottle of wine off the table. She struggled towards the door and reached for the door handle, as her hand touched the metal the door suddenly opened knocking Serena off balance falling forwards and spilling the contents of the wine bottle over the person standing in front of her "Ric!" she said in shocked "What are you doing here?"

"Heard you had a bit of a day," he replied as he took the wine bottle from her

"You know you shouldn't listen to idle gossip" she commented as she stepped back into the office

"Your mother phoned me," he admitted as he closed the door behind him and headed to the sink to try to do something about his now red stained shirt

"My mother, how on earth did she have your number?"

"She didn't, I believe she went through switch"

"Well didn't you tell them you were on leave and to hold all your phone calls?"

"Does any of this matter?" he asked as he wiped his shirt

"Well yes it does to me, my mother phoning a colleague to..."

"She phoned a friend," he corrected her

"Ric I can only apologise"

"What are you apologising for? Ruining my best shirt or hiding the truth from me?" he questioned

"No for my mother, well and the shirt... hang on a minute, what do you mean hiding the truth from you?"

"Serena I know"

"You know what Ric, stop talking in riddles, I have had a terrible day, all I want is to go home and drink myself stupid"

"And you think this is the answer do you?" he picked up the empty wine bottle "do you think this is going to make you feel better? Well do you?"

"It might" she replied

"Believe me Serena it won't, it may numb the pain for a bit however when it wears off you will still have to deal with everything in that head of yours but you will have to do it with a hung-over. Where is the Serena I know gone, what's happened to her?" he threw the empty bottle in the near bin

"You don't understand" she sunk into her seat

"Then make me understand! Tell me what has taken away the strong, professional woman that I knew, and respected" he sat on the edge of her desk staring at her

"I need to go home"

"You can't drive in this state; let me at least take you home?"

"Ok" she gave in "Thank you"

Ric helped her to gather everything she needed and they walked silently through the hospital. Although annoyed with her mother for contacting him she was also grateful, somehow having him around helped her. He was a calming influence and one of the very few people who could make her see reason and change her mind on things.

It was not long before they reached the car park and headed to Ric's car. Ric opened the boot and placed Serena's bags inside before opening the door to allow her to get in. He made his way around to the driver's side of the car and got in before heading off to Serena's house. They had not muttered a single word since she had agreed reluctantly to him giving her a lift"She cares about you that's why she phoned me you know" he broke the silence.

He could read her mind; he knew she was angry with her mother for contacting him because she never wanted to appear weak or vulnerable but now that was exactly how she felt; she just needed a little support to get her back on track.

"I know" she replied softly

"I know about the dementia," he admitted as he stopped by some traffic lights. Serena turned to face him, looking shocked "It's not dementia, she is forgetful, I think that's allowed at her age, god Ric I forget things all the time that doesn't mean I have dementia does it" she snapped

"No it doesn't, I myself forget things also but your mother is different and you know it" he turned into her street and parked outside her house. He placed his hand softly over hers and squeezed it

"It's ok...it will be ok"

She could feel tears forming in her eyes for the second time today as it finally hit her that this was it there was nowhere to hide anymore, she had to face it "I'm scared" she admitted softly as she looked into his big dark eyes

"Of course you are" he placed a hand reassuringly on her shoulder "this isn't something you can ignore, you know that don't you?"

"I don't know what I supposed to do, for the first time in my life I feel completely useless" she broke down and Ric pulled her into a hug, allowing her to release the tears that had been building for so long

"You are not in this alone, there are people out there who can help...it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help you know" he rubbed her back

"She needs me Ric and I have pushed her away, kept her at arm's length trying to ignore the signs"

He softly pushed her back so that he could see her face and with one hand he wiped away the stray tears "Your mother loves you and she knows you love her...she knows you are scared, so is she...she told me"

"How long have you known?" she asked

"Only today, when she phoned she was in a bit of a state...she told me what happened today and what has been happening over the past few months...oh Serena I thought we were friends"

"We are," she cried

"Then why didn't you tell me, I could have helped you"

"I didn't want to admit it was happening" she replied, "I don't want to talk about it"

"Ok" Ric did not want to push her too far, he knew if he were going to get Serena to open up to him to allow him to help her then it would need to be in her own time. If he pushed her now it could ruin any chance of him gaining her trust "you need to get some rest and if you want to talk again tomorrow we can...do not push me away Serena, I want to help...I care"

Serena placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed it slightly with her thumb "Thank you"

"That's what friends are for" he smiled "Now come on let's get you inside before you freeze to death" he got out of the car and helped her carry the bags to the house. Once inside Serena slipped her shoes off and turned the lights on "Right I will be off then...but remember I'm on the end of the phone"

"Would you like to stay for a drink?" she quickly asked before he disappeared down the path, she did not want him to leave just yet, she hated the thought of being alone tonight. She had never expected Ric to turn up but know that he had she did not want him to go, whether she wanted to admit it or not she needed a friend, she needed Ric.

"Don't you think you have had enough?" he asked disapprovingly

"I meant a coffee or tea" she replied "and I need to sort your shirt out, I ruined it, the least I could do is try and fix it"

"There is no need" he smiled "I will get a new one"

"But it's your favourite" she protested "Please Ric, just for a bit"

"Ok but on one condition"

"Anything" she replied

"You don't even know what the condition is yet"

"I trust you"

"You will take a shower and sort yourself out" he said as he removed his jacket "I will make the coffee, and what's this I hear about a report"

"Guy wants this stupid report on Neurology by the morning, I did it earlier but my mother managed to lose it...I will do it in the morning"

"Didn't you save it?" he asked

"We are not all as competent with a computer asMr. Griffin" she smiled

"Ok, here's the deal, you go and sort yourself out, I will see what I can do about the report, make you a coffee, and maybe a bit of food because I am guessing you haven't eaten at all today"

"I can't ask you to do that" she replied, she couldn't believe what was happening, over a few hours ago her life seemed to be completely out of control, a complete mess and the return of one man was changing that, he was genuinely here offering to help her with nothing really in return.

"You'renot asking, I'm telling...now go on" he insisted

Serena placed her arms around him hugging him tightly "Thank you...I have missed you"

"The old tortoise isn't all that bad after all is he" he smiled

"Well I wouldn't go that far" she returned his smile before heading up the stairs

She had been gone for just over an hour before she returned in her dressing gown "Feel better?" he asked as he caught her in the corner of his eye. There was something about her that he could not put into words, they just seemed to bounce offeach other, and although they were both very independent strong people, they somehow needed each other. He had always found her attractive and they flirted continuously in and out of work, however it had never gone further than that. Now she was standing in front of him looking vulnerable for the first time and it made her look more beautiful than he had seen her before.

"Yes thank you...did you have any luck with the report?" she asked as she sat beside him

"Yes luckily I found your old file and retrieved it...I have had a look at it and it looks very good. Guy should thank his lucky stars he has someone like you to write reports like that because mine are nowhere near that standard"

Serena smiled softly; she was so grateful to him for coming to her aid and supporting her, "I will forever be in debt to you"

"Don't be silly...you would do the same for me" he squeezed her hand "Now I don't know how to work your printer so while you do that I will make a bite to eat and a coffee" he stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

After sorting the printer out and printing the report, Serena went to join Ric in the kitchen. As she reached the doorway, she stopped and leaned against the doorframe for a few minutes just observing the man in front of her. She had not had a man cook for her for a very long time, in fact, she couldn't remember the last time any man looked after her, including Edward, he was the one who needed looking after in that relationship. As she watched him place the cheese on toast under the grill, she questioned her feelings for her best friend.

Before today, they had always flirted but it had never gone any further than that. They had had a few near misses, where they had been drunk and nearly kissed but they had always blamed the alcohol for their behaviour. She definitely found him attractive there was no question about that but until now she had been able to ignore the attraction. Tonight however was different, tonight she could feel this magnetic pull towards him, which she had never experienced before. The feeling was so powerful she was struggling to remain in control around him. He was there helping her out, looking after her, treating her the way she had always wanted to be treated by a man but he was here as her friend and nothing else, if she crossed that line now would she ruin everything, would he even feel the same. These were all questions she had no answers to, the only thing she was sure of was her feelings for her best friend had suddenly changed, she no longer wanted him as her friend, she wanted more than that. The funny thing was her mother had commented on the spark between them months ago and she fiercely denied anything more pure friendship but now she wondered was her mother right after all, had she always had feelings for the man in front of her. The question was, was she willing to risk ruining the one good thing in her life or should she just bury her feelings like she had done previously.

"Ah how long have you been there?" he asked as he turned around

"Not long" she admitted

"Well take a seat...I hope you like cheese on toast...not my usual type of food but a great quick snack I find" he placed her hot coffee in front of her before removing the toast from under the grill and placing them on the plates

"No cheese on toast is just fine, thank you"

He placed the plates on the table before joining her "Tuck in" he smiled

"Ric why are you doing all this?" she asked, she had to know what was driving this concern, was it just because she was a colleague, a friend and he wanted to help her or was it more than that"

"I told you, you're my friend and I care" he placed a piece of toast in his mouth "Is it so hard to believe that someone would care Serena?"

"Maybe" she admitted, "I have felt so alone for so long"

"But you are not alone" he reached for her hand "I will help you in any way I can"

"I'm scared of losing her Ric," she admitted as he eyes filled up

"She's not dying," he reminded her

"I know that, sometimes I think that would be easier if she was, how awful does that sound?"

"It doesn't sound awful; I would say that is a normal reaction to such a situation"

"One day I will wake up and she won't know who I am" a tear escaped down her cheek. Ric did not respond he just squeezed her hand gently, sending her a silent message that it was ok to be upset and that he was there and listening.

"She has been forgetting things for a while, however at first I thought it was normal old age...then one Saturday the warden rang me to say she had had an accident with the hob, she thought the mug was a pan and put it on the hob, she burnt her hand. I knew from that day that it wasn't as simple as just being forgetful but I stuck my head in the sand and ignored it, I ignored my own mother, what kind of person does that"

"The kind that is scared of the truth" he rubbed her hand softly with his thumb

"I'm a consultant for goodness sake; I should be able to deal with things like this"

"Being a consultant or a doctor doesn't protect you from situations like this with your own family, sometimes it makes it worse as we know too much"

"What am I going to do Ric?" she looked up into his eyes searching for answers

"I don't have all the answers Serena but you have already done the hardest part by talking to me, admitting it. If your mother does have dementia, it is not the end of the world you know that as much as I do. The perception that if someone has dementia his or her live is over is rubbish. More and more people are living on their own in communities with dementia these days; they just need the right support. Firstly, we need to get your mother seen by a specialist, get a true diagnosis, and then we need to look at her living arrangements and see if they are suitable. She already lives in a warden-controlled environment; maybe we could get her home assessed to see if things can be altered to ensure she is safe. If we can alter things in the environment she is already familiar with, it would be better for Adrienne. Uprooting her to a new environment could be upsetting for her. In the future as the disease progresses maybe you will need to move her but right now surely it is best to try and allow her to remain as independent as possible"

"You said we" she commented

"Yes because I am going to help you every step of the way, if you will let me"

"You don't need to do that; it's not your problem"

"Adrienne is not a problem, she most probably has a progressive disease which we know in time will seriously affect her mind, and function but all she needs at the moment is her family, friends and support. She is just as scared as you Serena, she needs our support"

"She always said you were a good un" she smiled

"Well what can I say, she has good taste"

"Yes I suppose she does," she admitted, "I will wash up, you take your coffee in the front room and rest those feet"

"I will help you, I made the mess" he reached for her plate and placed them in the sink

"Ric please will you let me try and sort that shirt out, you have done so much for me tonight...it's the least I could do"

"You can try"

She went into the cupboard under the sink and reached from the stain remover spray and sponge. She sprayed a small amount onto his shirt, placed her one hand underneath the material, and used the other to rub with the sponge. The closeness between them made them both blush; her touch to his bare skin sent a sensation through both their bodies "This is useless; you are going to have to take it off so I can soak it"

"I don't have a spare," he said blushing

"I will soak it, wash it and it will be as good as new in an hour or so"

"It's not that, I don't have anything to put on instead"

"Oh I see what you mean...you'renot embarrassed are you... you got nothing I haven't seen before Ric"

He wasn't sure whether this was a good idea or not, but he undid his shirt buttons and slipped it off his shoulders to reveal his surprisingly toned body "Don't laugh" he threw his shirt at her as he blushed

She couldn't help but stare at the now half naked Ric standing before her, he was so well toned, how hadn't she see that before "Serena?" Ric called

"Oh sorry Ric...I ...I will just soak it now" she blushed as she quickly turned around and placed the shirt into the bowl. Her head had suddenly become muffled; she was not thinking properly, she did not really know what she was supposed to be doing. All she could think about was the man standing behind her; she gripped onto the worktop as she tried to regain some control over her feelings. Seeing his bare skin sent a loving sensation through her body, she just wanted to turn around, touch him, and be close to him. She knew that was not a possibility as it would risk her friendship with him but it did not stop her longing for his arms to be around her.

As Ric stood and watched the normally very controlled woman blush in front of him, he could not help but wonder whether she had feelings for him like, he did for her. However if he took a chance now and showed his true feelings, would they be seen as genuine or as comfort, he did not want to take advantage of her while she was so vulnerable. He did however have this strong desire to protect and comfort her, he wanted to be more than a friend to her, their friendship was great but it wasn't enough anymore.

"Serena, tell me about your day" he tried to take control of the tense situation that had been created and he knew that her mother was not the only thing that had caused her pain today. He could tell that the events of the day were weighing heavily on her mind

"I just want to forget it" she didn't turn to face him, she continued to scrub his shirt

"I think you need to talk about it, get it off your chest" he moved to stand behind her

She could sense he was now standing very close to her "It was all my fault" she finally admitted, stopping what she was doing "If it wasn't for me that young boy would not be lying in ITU, I know it and Mr. Self knows it"

"You could not have known what he was going to do"

"Maybe not, but my mother caused the argument that lead to the young lad thinking the only thing he could do was jump" a tear escaped as she closed her eyes and relived the terrifying scene "I was too late...I tried to grab him but he was too quick, it happened so fast"

Ric placed his hands gently on her shoulders and turned her around to face him, he wiped the loose tears from her cheek with his thumb before hugging her tightly. It broke his heart to see her so vulnerable, blaming herself for a situation that was out of her control. In his arms she felt safe and aloud the events of the day to finally spill out as she sobbed into his bare chest.

"Every time I close my eyes I see him jump, I should have prevented it"

"You saved his life" he kissed the top of her head

"I shouldn't have needed too," she snapped, as she pushed against his bare chest to release her from his hold "It should never have happened in the first place"

"Accidents happen, we can't control everything" he tried to reason with her

"If I had faced up to my mother's condition sooner, if you had been there it wouldn't have happened"

"If, if, if...Serena we can't live with if's...unfortunately your mother may have unintentionally caused an argument but that young kid was already at the end of his tether from what I have been told, if it hadn't have happened today it would have happened another time. In a way he was lucky you were there"

"He was younger than Eleanor, I looked at his motionless body from the roof and thought he was dead, I thought of what I would have done if it was Ellie. She isn't even speaking to me Ric...my daughter hates me"

"She doesn't hate you, she's a young adult enjoying Uni life, and it's what they do"

"I haven't been a good mother, everyone I care about I hurt...you had better not stay too long or you will be the next"

"Is that you trying to tell me that you care?"

She looked up into his big eyes "Of course I care" she whispered as she placed one hand on his bare chest, "How could you think I didn't? ...I will end up hurting you too"

"You can try but I won't let that happen...Serenayou are only human, we all make wrong decisions and mistakes but we learn from them. Look at Jess and I, I have been the world's worst father to all of my children, but now Jess and I could not be closer. I have made many mistakes with my kids, but they know I am there for them now and that is what matters"

"You're a good father Ric"

"No...until recently I didn't realise how lucky I was and how much they all meant to me...I would kill for them" he admitted

"You wouldn't have it in you to kill anyone Ric, no matter how much you wanted too. You had many opportunities to kill Jess's husband but you did not because you are a decent man. You weren't driving the car either were you" she commented

"How did you know?" he asked

"Because I know you Ric Griffin" she placed her hand on his cheek "You would never have left him for dead"

"I wanted too," he admitted as tears formed in his eyes "I wanted to kill him for what he did to Jess"

"I understand that but you haven't got it in you to be so cruel"

"He hurt her...he beat her and she couldn't tell me" a tear escaped

"Oh Ric" she wiped his tear away "She loves you"

"I'm her father and she couldn't turn to me for help"

"She did in the end and you got her away from him...you left your job...you left me..."

Ric looked into her eyes "I didn't leave you...I was always coming back"

"I know but you just went without even saying goodbye, I had to hear it off Guy Self...that hurt, I thought we were friends...I thought you would have told me"

"I'm sorry" he leaned his forehead against hers

"I missed you," she whispered softly as she closed her eyes trying to keep control as she found herself so close to him.

He knew that it was now or never, he had to take the chance, he had to find out if her feelings mirrored his, it just felt right. He closed his eyes and kissed her lips softly before pulling away "I'm sorry" he said softly "I shouldn't have taken advantage of your vulnerability; I never meant to...I got carried away with the moment and... Um I should go" he turned quickly and headed for the door.

"Ric wait" she called after him

"I'll speak to you tomorrow" he quickly put his shoes on

"Ric don't just leave like this...what about your shirt"

"I'll have it another time...I'm really sorry Serena" he said before leaving and closing the door behind him. Serena stood in her hallway with tears streaming down her face, why had he run out on her, he had not done anything that she did want him to do. She had not wanted him to leave, what had just happened was not a mistake in her eyes. She rubbed her lips with her finger as they still tingled from his soft touch. She sat on the last step of the stairs and sobbed, she was falling in love with him and she knew that now but his reaction to their brief kiss was one of panic and regret so did that mean he did not feel the same about her. She was so confused; she had not asked for any of this tonight, Ric had been the one who instigated the kiss so why did he run off. What was she going to do know she thought as she placed her head in her hands?

Meanwhile Ric sat in his car with his head on the steering wheel cursing himself, what was he thinking kissing her like that after the day, she had had. What must she think of him taking advantage of her like that, how was he going to face her again.