I lean against the wall of the bathroom stall, panting heavily. My heart is beating rapidly and my head is spinning. This is not a good time to be getting sick. Either Taylor or Sawyer will tell Christian and then he'll be worried about me instead of focusing on his business trip. I wipe my mouth with a paper towel before washing my hands thoroughly. When I get back to my desk, the phone starts ringing. Christian? No. I look at the caller ID. It's just Claire. Why won't Christian answer my emails or voice mails?
"There's a guy here for you in reception. How come you know all the hot guys, Ana?"
It must be José. I glance at the clock─ it's five fifty five. Instead of the excitement that should have pulsed through me, dread and concern flooded through me. I didn't want to be sick during my night out.
"Ana, you look great! So grown up!" He grins impishly at me before grabbing me in a tight embrace. "And tall."
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "It's just the shoes, José, and you don't look too bad yourself. Let me just go grab my stuff and then we can go."
"I'll wait here."
Sawyer is standing outside as José and I come through the door. I look at him in question and pull him off to the side. Since we're just going to the bar across the way, I send José over to get us drinks. "Have you heard from Christian?" I asked.
He shakes his head. "I do not contact him unless it is an emergency, Miss Steele."
"This is an emergency, Sawyer. Please call Christian and inform him that I need to speak to him as soon as possible."
"Yes, Miss Steele." Taking a deep breath, I walk across the street to the bar.
José and I talked for a while about nothing in particular. There was still no word from either Christian or Sawyer and that worried me, but I pushed it aside. I couldn't focus on hanging out with José and being happy while trying to figure out why my boyfriend won't answer me.
"So no hot babe to keep you busy? Last time I saw you, you had half a dozen women hanging on your every word." I arch an eyebrow at him.
"No," he speaks softly, his eyes raking up and down my body. "None of those women are enough for me."
The looks he's giving me sends chills down my spine. "Maybe you should start going on dates. So you're not lonely."
José arches an eyebrow. "Who says I'm lonely?"
"Well, I just … I …"
He laughs. "I get what you're trying to say. So how's Grey?" he asks, in a colder, harsher voice.
"He's good. We're good," I murmur.
"Serious, you say?"
"Yes. Serious."
"He's not too old for you?"
"Oh José. You know what my mom says—I was born old." José's mouth twists wryly.
Just then I hear my name being called by none other than my best friend, Kate Kavanagh. She's dragging Ethan behind her. When she's close enough, I jump up from my seat to greet her. Oh I've missed her so much. She pushes me away from her and holds me at arm's length, examining me closely. But before she can get a word out, my stomach decides to flop and I rush to the bathroom where I throw my drink up. Since I haven't really eaten anything that's all I have in my stomach.
Kate pulls my hair into a pony tail and rubs my back. "It doesn't seem that you've drank much. So that leaves one question. Are you feeling okay? If you had told us you were sick, we could have rescheduled!"
I begin to speak, but my stomach has other ideas. Next thing I know, I'm heaving over the side of the toilet. "Maybe I should bring you home?" she asks with concern evident in her voice.
"No, no. I'm fine. I promise," I attempt to reassure her. "It's just the stomach bug." Kate was so obviously not convinced, but returned with me back to the table.
"Are you okay, Ana?" José asks as I come back to the table.
I shoot a smile at him. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I could see Sawyer standing by the entrance of the bar looking confused.
Kate places her hand on mine. "We could do this tomorrow when─" She stops abruptly and checks her phone.
"Hi, baby," she says when she answers it. Baby! She frowns and looks at me. "Sure," she says and turns to me. "It's Elliot . . . he wants to talk to you."
"Ana." Elliot's voice is clipped and quiet, and my scalp prickles ominously.
"What's wrong?"
"It's Christian. He's not back from Portland."
"What? What do you mean?" My voice is low and my eyes snap to Sawyer, who is staring straight at me.
"His helicopter has gone missing."
"Charlie Tango?" I whisper as all the breath leaves my body. "No! I knew there was a reason he wasn't answering my calls or emails."
My stomach lurches and I know I'm going to be sick again. I drop Kate's phone on the table and run back to the bathroom. This time it's Sawyer who follows. "Miss Steele, is everything─ okay we have to get you back to Escala." I stand up to leave after I'm done throwing up everything inside of me ─which is nothing─ but my knees buckle and I find myself falling to the ground. Before Sawyer is able to catch me, I hit my head on the toilet and pass out.
When I wake, it's by a beeping sound. I force my eyes to open and I look around. My head is pounding and no one seems to be around. I'm in Christian's bed, hooked up to a heart monitor. I clench my eyes shut. Christian's not here. Charlie Tango is missing. He didn't come back from Portland. The heart monitor starts going crazy and someone burst through the door.
"Ana, honey, open your eyes." It's Grace.
I open my eyes and look at her, tears welling up. "He's not here," I cry.
"Sh, honey. Taylor sent out a search team as soon as he got word that the helicopter was missing." Grace brushed hair out of me face. "Ana," she whispered. "Did you know?"
I look at her like she's crazy. "Know that Taylor─"
Grace shakes her head. "No, no. Ana, you're pregnant." I could feel the blood drain from my face. "I take it you didn't know. Kate told me you were sick before and I ran a few tests."
Tears streamed down my cheeks. I am pregnant with Christian Grey's baby and he is nowhere to be found. I don't know what I will do with myself if they find out he's dead.
"Grace," I sniffled, "we haven't been together long enough. Wh-what if he doesn't want it? What if he doesn't want me anymore?"
"Hush now. Don't say things like that. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. He'd be lost without you. You two were meant for each other and the way you look at him and him at you. It truly is beautiful."
"B-but what if he's not found?" I cried harder.
She wrapped her arms around me and held me as I cried. The heart monitor was going off the walls, but we both ignored that until Elliot, Sawyer, Taylor, and Carrick ran in looking worried and anxious.
"Is everything okay in here?" Carrick asked.
Both Grace and I nodded. "Please don't tell anyone," I whispered and squeezed her hand.
"Never." Then she gave me the biggest smile. The kind of smile that said you're-carrying-my-grandchild.
I wiped my eyes and looked at Taylor and Sawyer. "Any updates?" I croaked. I sound terrible. My throat is all scratchy and raw.
Taylor sighed and shook his head. "None as of right now, Miss Steele. Would you like to explain why the heart monitor was going nuts, for lack of a better word?"
Before I could explain, Grace cuts in and saves the day. "She got really upset at the thought of Christian being dead. The heart monitors are rather sensitive."
I could see Taylor didn't believe her. I knew I should tell him. It is for my protection as well as the baby's. If I told Taylor then I'd have to make sure I told Christian as soon as he comes back.
Carrick, Elliot, and Grace kissed my forehead before going back to the living room. Sawyer made sure they were gone before shutting the door and rejoining Taylor at the end of the bed. "Give me a second," I muttered and pulled out the blackberry.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Important Matters
Date: June 17, 2011 10:10
To: Christian Grey
Christian, please, if you get this I need you to call me. There are important matters to discuss once you arrive back at Escala.
I love you.
A x
Taking a deep breath, I mustered up the courage to tell them the state at which I find myself in. "I'm pregnant." Sawyer's eyes widen, but Taylor stays void of any and all emotion. "I know this means you'll probably be adding more security and keeping me in view at all times. I just need to know that you'll also be looking for Christian. He is what matters right now. There is no threat against me, so therefore I would like any available men searching for him."
"I will do everything in my power, Miss Steele," Taylor said and left with Sawyer.
As soon as I could no longer hear their footsteps, I pulled off the thing connecting me to the heart monitor and started to cry. I cried for myself, for the baby, and especially Christian. I didn't mean to, but I cried myself to sleep that night.
In the morning I called Christian's cell phone just so I could hear his voice. It, once again, made my stomach flip and I ended up launching myself in the direction of the bathroom. After an hour of throwing up water and dry heaving, I wrapped Christian's robe around myself and padded down to the kitchen where Gail had already made breakfast. Unfortunately, the smell made me sick to my stomach and I found myself back on the floor of the bathroom, resting my head against the cool glass bowl. After yet another hour, I tried for food again. This time, I was able to walk to the kitchen and sit down without having to go to the bathroom and throw up. I smiled when I saw that Gail replaced the food with a simple bowl of granola. If Christian were here he'd tell me to eat the entire bowl … maybe I should. It wouldn't hurt considering I didn't eat dinner.
Gail came in to check on me when I was halfway through the bowl of granola to inform me that José was still sleeping. Shit! I had totally forgotten that José was staying over. I am such a terrible host.
Instead of waking him up, I decided to let him sleep. We could hang out as soon as he ate breakfast. With that problem solved, my mind drifted. I sighed and placed my hand on my stomach. In nine months there would be a mini me or mini Christian in the apartment. How is he going to handle it when I tell him? I don't know what I'll do if he freaks out.
It wasn't long after I finished my granola that José woke up. I was laying on the couch, absentmindedly drawing circles on my flat stomach. The flat stomach that wouldn't stay flat for long. That brought horrible thoughts and images to my mind. I'll be all fat. José came to stand next to me. In just his boxers. Christian is going to kill him.
"José! What on earth are you doing? Get some clothes on!" I whispered, not wanting to alert Taylor or Sawyer. José would definitely be thrown out then.
"Come on, Ana. He's not here anymore, you don't have to worry about him."
I opened my mouth to tell him to get out, but I was interrupted by the door being thrown open.