TITLE: Buffy. Buffy. Buffy.
AUTHOR: Erykah Miszti
EMAIL: erykah@hamadryad.com
WEBSITE: http://www.erykah.net/poison/
SUMMARY: Naughty poem about all the Buffy sexcapades.
SPOILERS: everything
RATING: R
DISCLAIMER: At least a couple of these characters and situations belong to Joss Whedon and some big nasty corporations. Much groveling at the feet of Joss, much booing and hissing to the corporations (except when the show needs more financing - yes, I'm a whore for my favourite show grin).
DEDICATION: To the cast of Buffy and Angel for their ability to touch each other up onscreen and during photo sessions. ;-)
[beat] = a pause
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Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.
D'you know what it means in Dutch?
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.
It's one heck of an intimate touch.
They've gone to the Bronze, dancing now.
Sex with robots, weirdness. Wow.
Xander and Anya, doing it lots.
She'd say yes to Xanderbots.
Willow and Tara, sweet and hot.
Dancefloor smoochies, that's yer lot.
Buffy and Angel, once was a enough.
Though I Will Remember You was kinda hot stuff.
Cordy and Xander, they had a weird thing.
Then he kissed Willow, that ended their snogging.
Spike and Drusilla, she's daft as a brush.
Who in their right mind'd give him the bums rush?!
Buffy and Riley, never out of bed.
Endless shagging, raising the dead.
Spike and the Buffbot, right there by the gravestones.
Give half a mo, she'll jump right on his bones.
Angel and Darla, he didn't get no happy.
Tough fer her, she must have felt crappy.
Willow and Oz, wild beasts in the sack?
He slept with Veruca, it all went off-track.
Spike and Harm, that's so sick!
He's dreaming of Buffy and she's just thick.
Dru and Angelus, a match made in Hell.
He's still hot for Buffy, it could never go well.
Giles and Joyce, twice on the car.
Such high hopes but it didn't go far.
Doyle and Cordy, one snog that's all.
Hmph.. we'd'a prefered sex against a wall!!
Spike and Angel, a slash writer's dream.
Who'd ya think would be first to scream?
Dru and Darla, they're going shopping.
Back to fanfic… knickers dropping.
Buffy and Spike, fight hammer and tong.
We all know it wont be long.
Giles coming home to England now.
Trust Joss'll get him laid, somehow.
There's tons of violence and lot's of sex.
We want more Spike, flashing those pecs.
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.
Who you think'll shag next?
Joss just tells us… [beat] .. "B.Y.O. subtext"
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FYI, In Dutch 'Buffy' means 'oral sex'. Joss has been informed. *naughty grin*