A/N: Just realized I wrote this back in June and never crossposted, so...here you go!

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i could write you a song

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"Y'know," Shisui says around a yawn, "that court officer dude was totally judging us."

"Mm," is the noncommittal response.

(They've been married for a week. Itachi has deemed this enough of a "honeymoon period" that he no longer needs to engage with every bit of Shisui's nonsense.)

"I mean, did you see the look on his face? I felt like a bug." Shisui pauses. "And not one of those cool praying mantis alien-looking things either. Like, a super-gross gooey bug."

Itachi continues to type. "You can't entirely blame him," he points out. "We did end up having to leave and come back because we forgot to purchase rings."

"It was a last-minute thing!" Shisui protests. "And he didn't need to be so judgey about it."

(Itachi decides to forgo mentioning that rings are not, strictly speaking, required for a marriage ceremony to be legally binding. He is well aware that Shisui would have insisted on getting them anyway.)

Itachi squints at the article he's attempting to write and sighs, feeling the beginnings of a headache. "If you believe that was bad, imagine what it will be like explaining to my parents," he says.

Shisui groans. "I'm begging you, don't make me think about it."

"They're bound to find out sooner than later. More likely sooner."

"How do you figure? I mean, if you don't tell them and I don't tell them…"

(Shisui's tone is mostly joking, Itachi assures himself. Mostly.)

"…and as long as that judgey clerk doesn't decide to rat us both out…"

His head is starting to pound. "That may not be the issue at hand," Itachi hears himself say.

His husband pauses in his ramblings and sits up on the bed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

(Damn it.)

Itachi closes his laptop with a snap and rubs at his temples. "You remember the video that was posted after we left the courthouse? The one involving your, ah…impassioned speech to all and sundry?"

"Proudest moment of my life," Shisui says without an ounce of sarcasm. "Why?"

"And do you remember how many views it had amassed by the end of the day?"

Shisui is grinning; Itachi doesn't even need to look at him to know that much. "Something to the tune of twelve thousand. Second-proudest moment of my life, if we're being honest."

"Yes," Itachi says dryly. "And you are aware of what the phrase 'going viral' means?"

There's a brief moment where Shisui seems to cotton on, where his coloring goes from pale to sickly, but he recovers quickly. "Not likely, 'tachi. I don't peg either of your folks for the Youtube-watching type."

"No," Itachi agrees. "But…"

Deciding it will be more efficient to show than tell he fishes his cell phone out of a pocket, scrolls through his text messages and, finding the relevant exchange, passes the device to Shisui. Shisui accepts the phone as he would a volatile explosive.

(The text from Sasuke had been brief: congrats. were u planning to tell us soon or at ur silver anniversary?

Itachi chooses to focus on his pride in his brother's ability to get straight to the point.)

When next Itachi looks, Shisui has once again gone a delicate shade of gray. "Is he gonna tell—"

"My parents? Not likely." Itachi tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "And even if he did, there is nothing to be done. I am an adult and more than capable of making my own decisions. Besides, they accepted our relationship a long time ago."

"Well, yeah, but—"

"It is somewhat late to be getting cold feet, Shisui."

Shisui looks up sharply, mouth already opening to protest the slightest insinuation that he regrets anything he has ever done in his life, but he finds Itachi smiling. His own expression relaxes.

"Well, I guess if the asspain hasn't already spilled the beans then there's still time," he says.

"Time for what?"

"To do the whole thing from scratch." Shisui is grinning again. "Pretend it's the first time. I mean, I never did do the whole get-down-on-one-knee thing, so maybe—"

"No," Itachi cuts in, but it's harder than it should be not to laugh. Shisui's eyes are bright with his own idea.

"I'm serious! Wait, look—" He casts around until his gaze lands on a small florescent wrapper on the bedside table. The next thing Itachi knows Shisui is kneeling in front of him and holding up an untouched Ring Pop.

(Sometimes, Itachi reflects, getting dragged into Shisui's nonsense is just unavoidable.)

"Itachi," Shisui says with all the dramatic gravitas of a former high school theatre enthusiast, "you're my best friend and the love of my life, and if it were physically possible I would totally be willing to have your scary genius babies. Will you marry me?"

Then, after a second of thought, "You won't even have to change your last name."

The desire to laugh is growing more insistent by the moment, but Itachi reigns himself in and manages a dignified, "Of course."

Shisui, beaming, slides the Ring Pop onto Itachi's finger. It rests neatly in the spot just above his actual wedding band.

Ceremony done, Shisui leans back on his heels. "See, perfect. We can do it right in front of 'em if it'll stop your dad from slitting my throat in my sleep."

"You might want to tamp down on your speechmaking first," Itachi replies, eyeing his new acquisition speculatively.

(At first glance it appears to be strawberry flavor. Itachi pats himself on the back just a bit: his husband has good taste.)

"What are you talking about?" Shisui is saying, breezy, as he gets to his feet. "I meant every word of it."

Itachi is trying to come up with an appropriately biting response when the urge is decisively kissed out of him.

"Happy one-week," Shisui says cheerfully, breaking away. "You're gonna be stuck with me for plenty more."

"I look forward to it," Itachi replies, but the dryness he'd intended vanishes somewhere between his brain and his mouth and it comes out sounding embarrassingly fond. Shisui kisses him again, this time on the forehead.

"Yeah," he says, smiling. "Me too."