AN: I am so sorry everyone, since I am new at this, I am trying to figure out what I am doing. I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter version, I apologize in advance to everyone, I will make sure that this doesn't happen again.
Standard Disclaimer applies.. I do not own,
Chapter 1: New Begginings
They say in life that you must embrace the darkness within yourself to truly find the light. I really don't know about that, but sometimes it seems is that all life is a constant myriad of blackened shapes swirling around into a cornucopia of an abyss. Yes, I know it seems off in some way but that is how I feel. And now, I don't have any idea on what to think.
See the thing is I just moved. Leaving behind everyone I ever knew, to move into this small town in the middle of nowhere. I am not upset in the least… sigh. No, not at all. That sarcasm, can you feel it?
I guess it stems from; I didn't have much to lose in the first place. My life, up until now, has not been the picture-perfect picket fence mom, dad, and 2.5 kid life. Oh no… it has been quite the opposite. I am, for all intents and purposes, what is called a "ward of the state," which is a fancy term for-I have no family to speak of. I have no clue who my parents are, from what my case worker had told me I was found wandering around Rocky national forest when I was about 2. And even though the state tried to locate my parents, the search came up empty. So they gave me a name. Bella and gave me a birthday, April first. Kind of ironic don't you think? Considering that my entire existence seems to be one big cosmic joke.
Anyway. That brings us back to the now. For the past couple years I have been living in a group home. They are dreadful places indeed. I don't know if you know anything about group homes but there is nothing "groupish" about them. They are run by people who have taken a gazillion course in psychology of teenagers and children. But most of them don't have any of their own.
Oh the irony of that thought. HA -HA. And the great thing is that you have no room for individuality, you're kind of at their mercy, when they say jump, you say how high, and if you do not do their bidding then you get the few privileges' that you have earned stripped away. Like, for instance, An hour to watch a TV program or maybe get to sleep in a half-hour on the weekends. It is stuff like that the picket fence families take for granted, you know the ability to go to the bathroom without permission.
I guess though it is not so bad, I do have somewhere to sleep and food in my stomach. Again, I think I really messed up in a previous life, and this is being bitch slapped by karma. If things get any worse, though I will wish to be reincarnated as an amoeba, that way I won't remember any of my next existence.
"Bella?"
I turned my head, just in time to see my Case worker Mrs. Cope come out of the staff office. She has constantly been the most severe of ladies, always mocking and condescending, sometimes I wonder why she ever became a case worker in the first place; it is quite apparent that she does not like children, or maybe it is that she just doesn't like me. In any case, she is here, standing in the doorway looking like a cross between a basset hound and petunia pig. Her graying hair stretched back into a severe looking bun, which makes her beady eyes take on more of a slant and her clothes ugh. They are always two sizes too small, which causes her extra rolls of fat to squeeze through buttonholes of her jacket. Sighing I focus back on the TV that is playing rerun cartoons. She has always made my life unbearable I wonder what she has cooked up now. The foster homes that I have lived in the past were horrible at best. And at least here, I knew I was safe, and they had taken somewhat care of me. I watched the technicolor images fly across the screen trying to block out her mere presence.
"Bella"
Again, Mrs. Copes grating voice echoed through the room. I guess there is no avoiding the inevitable; she is the person who has dictated my whole life after all. I slowly rise from the couch in an attempt to annoy her; I know it is juvenile, but I cannot seem to help myself. She is for sure the bane of my existence.
I trudged over to stand before her in the doorway eyes cast down staring at the burnt orange shag carpet that covers the day room
"Come in the office, so we can talk."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her gesture with her arm and walk into the staff office. I begrudgingly followed and plopped down into one of the orange plastic chairs in the corner before I looked up. Mrs. Cope had already taken her place in front of the ancient desk that occupied 1/3 of the floor space in the office with her big arms crossed over her chest. I noticed that she had a run in her pantyhose. I sniggered; she is truly the most disgusting piggish person I have had the misfortune of knowing. I scowled at her, but it did not phase her. She just began talking.
"As I am sure you were told this morning by the morning staff, we have found you a new situation." I hate when she calls them situations, she should just say another hell hole to live at.
"And I also know that you have repeatedly expressed that you didn't want to get moved again since you turn 18 in 8 months. However, I must say that this opportunity was too good to pass off." At that she sneered with the last syllable.
My mind starting whirring about praying that this would not be like other homes I had been in when I was younger. I looked at Mrs. Cope and said one simple word that would seal my fate "When?"
"Well, since the paperwork is already taken care of we will leave to her house as soon as you have your things packed. She is expecting us around noon. She is a delightful woman. No children. You will be her only charge. So now, run along upstairs and pack your belongings... It is about a 30 min drive to Manitou Springs."
"Manitou Springs!" I shouted; Jumping up from the chair.
"I don't want to move there. I like it here and I won't know anyone there. It's not fair. Please let me stay here just until I turn 18. I won't bother anyone." I pleaded.
Mrs. Cope just shook her head and bellowed "Go. Pack. Now… you don't have a choice." She then turned away from me and started fiddling with something on the desk. I can feel my eyes begin to burn as I fought tears that were trying to invade my eyes... I would not have it... She could not see me cry. I was tough. I needed to be tough. I cannot let anyone see any weakness. I quickly fled stumbling over to the staircase that leads to the basement, or more importantly my room for the last hand full of years.
The door resonated with a bang as I threw it open into the wall. I made a b-line for my bed, the one that I will never sleep in again. I sank onto it, not being able to hold back the sobs and the tears. When will my life ever be mine? It is too much to ask to be able to decide what I do, where I go, where I live. Granted, this place is not ideal, but it is all I have had; I am not even going to get a chance to say good-bye to my roommates. They are right now at school. School which is where I should be.
Through my blurred vision, I looked at the three other empty beds. It is not that we were particularly close; they were just here temporarily while they worked on issues with their families. But, just the same we had a connection the 4 of us girls knew what it was like to be outcasts. I wiped the tears off my face and slid onto the floor to pull out the warn suitcase that I have used many times transporting what little I owned from one situation to another. I was hoping that the last time I used it would be when I was a free woman, an adult with the whole world at me feet. That did not happen. I placed it on my bed and with a click, the rusted latches opened.
It did not take me long to pack. Clothes being the only thing in my possession, they were cast offs from local second-hand stores. I didn't really mind I have at no time been fashion conscious anyway. I have no pictures since I have no family. I looked around the room once more.
I have a ritual and say good-bye to the room that I lived in. Pouring in positive thoughts, hoping that it will be better for the next person who comes along, also putting closure to the past that cannot and will never be again. That I suppose is why I have survived so long with my mental status in check. Not dwelling on the- coulda, shoulda, would have beens in life. Taking it a day at a time. Backing out of the room, I poured all the happy memories I could into feeling and slowly inched toward the door. Good-bye…... Was the only thing I left.
Quickly, I took the stairs two at a time back onto the main floor. And yelled out to Mrs. Cope. "I'm ready" there would be no tears from me. I cannot let her know that she has affected me. Even the begging earlier I didn't mean it... It was just a teenager trying to get her way. Like all teenagers do.
I walked into the day room and my caseworker extraordinaire… do you hear the cynicism dripping from that?…. Good!
She was already waddling to the front door… walking sideways to fit through it. I followed her.
Mrs. Cope reached the car first. I always hated riding in the car with her. She took up over half of the front seat... rolls of girth spilling over into the passenger side. I could visibly see the sedan drop with the amount of her excess weight. I walked down the sidewalk and placed my suitcase in the back seat. I then clamored into the front seat to get settled. As soon as I closed the door, the nauseating smell of pork rinds and mothballs filled my nose... I almost gag every time I ride in her car. Nasty. I quickly rolled down the window gasping for fresh air. Then we were off.
As always, rides with Mrs. Cope were silent. Me not wanting to hear her gruff voice and her not ever saying anything at all. This suits me fine.
I stared blankly out the window not seeing the passing structures, just blurs of color. I was familiar with Colorado Springs. The group home is on the very southern border of the city. It isn't a booming metropolis, but it does have its charms. Not that I have really seen any of the said charms. They don't take wards on family picnics in the mountains or spelunking at the cave of the winds. However, there is always time to do that when I get out on my own.
Leaving city limits, I began to pay attention the buildings became fewer and fewer and clusters of pine trees take their place. I could feel the pressure building up behind my ears because of the altitude change. I have never gone to Manitou Springs it is kind of a taboo topic among high schoolers. I do not really know why; students at my old high school didn't talk to me. I was one of the visible -invisible ones. You know, the type where you see them but do not know their name, let alone see them as a person… that is me. I usually eat lunch by myself, apart from a couple of people from the group home. Nevertheless, when they leave, I think they are able to forget that I existed too.
.
So lost in my thoughts I did not notice that the car had stopped until I could feel the car rise and Mrs. Cope flopped, eh hem I mean stepped, out of the car. On my side, there was nothing but forest that I could see. I unhitched my seat-belt and climbed out of the car. Standing and stretching,I looked over the roof and saw a lone house. I didn't have time to really look because Mrs. Cope was pushing my suitcase in my hand and pulling at my arm telling me to hurry we were already late.
We had just cleared the car when Mrs. Cope let go of my arm.. With the hand that was, not holding the suitcase, I reached up and massaged my muscles thinking that that was going to leave a bruise. Mrs. Cope had already started up the walk way and I finally looked up to take the house in. when in a moment I felt a profound sense of déjà vu. I could not tell you why or what. I can certainly say I cannot remember ever being in Manitou springs or this house in particular.
However, an electrical zing made me shiver. The house is not significant. A Very small two story house with of all things, a picket fence… oh the irony of it all. Pale blue shutters contrasted to the pastel yellow of the siding, and the pink of the trim. To be honest it looked like an Easter egg had thrown up on it. BLECH. with an ECH ECH!
Overwhelmed by the eyesore of a dwelling I did not notice the blur of black and fuchsia that was hurdling towards me. By the time I realized it, I am being engulfed in an embrace. A very strong one at that. I can tell you right now that I have never been fond of physical contact. I have strict hands off policy if you know what I mean... I get weird-ed out by hugs and kisses. Maybe it is because I grew up with very little affection. I am not sure but I can tell you I did the only thing that I know how. I froze. Like a statue. I did not move a ridged muscle. Finally, the lock on my body released and moved back from me. I realized it was a woman, no taller than I was with short-cropped blonde hair and green eyes that looked fully into my face as if she was memorizing me. Creepy….
"Oh Bella, It is so nice to meet you, I have waited for this day for so long"
I looked at tears rolling down her face. Can this woman be for real? I think that she should not be a foster parent, but should be committed to some psychiatric ward. Eccentric seems to be an understatement, she is bordering on insanity. I really did not know what to do. So I just stood staring at her. She backed up again, and put her hands over her mouth as if trying to bite back something she wanted to say… I can tell you now I am quite curious I know Mrs. Cope said that she has never been a foster mom but I really didn't expect this "homecoming so to speak" . I turned back to Mrs. Cope… with a smug smile on her face... I bet it is because she knows that this has made me uncomfortable. Dratted woman. Eight more months … I kept repeating.
"Bella, Sorry I forgot my manners. Please come in and see your home. It has been years since any children lived here. She smiled sincerely but I could not help but be affronted, me … a child… hardly… 8 months, 8months. She turned and I followed her in holding the handle of my suitcase with both hands in front of me. Like a shield to ward off any threat of attack. Yes, perhaps I was over exaggerating the situation but still... Flying flamboyant women who would of thunk that.
She disappeared into the screen door as I made my way on to the porch. Mrs. Cope was there looking at me most strangely, almost wistfully even. I wrinkled my nose. What has gotten into these people?
"Bella that was Mary O'Neal. She will be your guardian. Do please try to behave, you might find that you like it here."
She then paused as I tried to process what she had just said. It was almost spoken with affection. Utterly put off I did not hear the rest of what she was saying. I mean I heard her but it didn't process. Kind of like in those peanuts cartoons when an adult was talking it was bwah bwah bwah. It was not until she told me goodbye that I was released from my stupor. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, but by that time, she was already half way to her car. I meekly waved at her and said bye but I do not think she heard me.
After she drove off, I turned and slowly opened the screen door and walked inside There Mary was standing at the base of the stairs "I am so glad you have decided to come live with me"
.She then gave me a toothy grin and started up the stairs, beckoning me with her hand to follow.
"I have remodeled the upstairs a bit, it is quite small but there was enough space for a bedroom and a bathroom so I fixed it up for you."
She hurriedly spoke as we climbed the staircase to the next level. The landing opened up into a single room it had a slanted roof the walls were made of what looked like oak planks it was very bright due to the large window seat that faced to the east and the overly large skylight that let in the bright noon sunlight.
"This is your room, I hope you like it. I will leave you to unpack and get yourself settled, and after your done if, you want you could join me downstairs so we can get to know each other. I am sure that this has been very hard on you, but hopefully it will become easier and you will be able to think of here as home."
She smiled and then with a swish of her skirt she turned, her bobbing blond tresses disappearing down the staircase.
The room is very sparsely decorated -an old black wrought iron framed bed in one corner of the room an oak nightstand beside it with a small gray lamp and an alarm clock. On the opposite wall stood a long dresser with a large mirror on top, a closet to the right and a lovingly worn rocking chair near the alcove by the staircase. It in actuality is the nicest room I have ever been in, and it is the first time I have not had to share a room with other girls.
I spun around with my arms spread out like a bird below the skylight I could feel the warmth penetrate the thick tempered glass and shine on me lifting my spirits. I quickly put away my clothes and stowed my suitcase in the almost empty closet.
I am dreading going downstairs to meet with Mary, she is nice enough I suppose but the whole getting to know you routine is something that I try to avoid at all costs, what is the point of getting to know people when they are just going to leave you or get rid of you. I have never been a problem child, I speak when spoken to and my grades are roughly about average. I have never given anyone a reason to complain; I stay out of sight and follow the rules. After a while, it comes easy being at someone's disposal, especially if you fear the person making the rules.
I plopped on my bed, I felt the mattress sag slightly with the addition of my increased weight. I started picking at the fuzz balls that were on my faded black hoodie. I don't know how it came to this in my life, then it dawned on me like a ton of bricks that even after living in the group home and various foster homes for the first part of my life that there is no one waiting for me to come back. I never had many friends and the few that I did have were in similar predicaments as me. It is hard to get close or to relate to someone if they have no idea what it is like to be completely alone, to have no family, Heck I do not even know when my real birthday is or if Bella is my real name. How depressing is that?
I stared out the open bay window and saw a wooded glen, I smiled to myself brimming with excitement at the thought of being able to explore and to wander. I have never been so close to nature before and being a part of everything sends a shiver or excitement down my spine. Perhaps it is time for me to change, to try to be more outgoing and optimistic. Being a wet blanket never helped anyone achieve anything. Yes! That seems like the simplest answer.
Feeling lighter I stood up and decided to get the pleasantries over with Mary
I found Mary standing over the double sink in the outdated kitchen. I paused and looked at her before I made my presence known. Her face was twisted in concentration and I could hear her muttering under her breath but I couldn't make out the words. She turned back to the stove and stirred something that smelled eerily like green peppers and onion in a blackened skillet. I leaned against the door jamb and continued to watch her prepare dinner. Her movements are very subtle but graceful as she flitted around the kitchen. After a few minutes, I figured I would not get to know her any better just standing here without talking to her so I announced
"Hello Mary, the room is great thank you, and something smells really delicious, I cannot remember the last time I have smelled something so wonderful."
To be honest I have no idea what was cooking but it did smell good, my stomach took that opportunity to rumble.
Mary turned from the stove and grinned,
"Hello Bella, I am glad you like it. Dinner is nothing extravagant just some basic stir fry, I was pretty sure that you would be hungry and I have to be to work at 7 but if you want we can talk until then?"
She then faced the stove again and turned off the burner
"Have a seat and make yourself comfortable, this is your home too you know" she said offhandedly as she filled two plates with rice.
I looked around the homey kitchen and slid into one of the kitchen chairs. Mary set a heaping plate of stir-fry in front of me it really did look good. For the better part of an hour, Mary talked and I just listened. I found out that she is a nurse at MemorialHospital in Colorado Springs; she works a lot of overtime and varying shifts so she is sleeping or she is working. There would not be much time for us to catch up but she assumed that I was used to taking care of myself. For that sentiment, I am very grateful, maybe things are looking up and I will be more in charge of my own life.
We cleaned the kitchen together as soon as it was done she had to rush and get ready for work.
"Bye Bella I hope to see you before you go to school tomorrow. Sleep well, and there are extra blankets in the hallway closet downstairs... If you need me, call Memorial, the number is on the fridge… I think that is it."
She quickly reached out and gave me a tight hug and placed a kiss on my forehead then just as suddenly, hastened out the door locking it behind her with a click.
I sank into the tan leathery sofa in the living room leaning my head against the back I looked up at the ceiling fan and wondered how school was going to be tomorrow. The school year had already started so I would be starting late; I really hope that my teachers do not make me introduce myself in front of the class.
The couch feels so comfortable. Almost like a lost friend. I cannot explain it. I feel so comfortable in this house; it is a foreign feeling, warm maybe? Eventually, I made it back to my room and to my dresser pulling out a pair of black ratty sweats and a dingy white tank top, I changed into them and climbed into bed.
It is amusing to me how you remember some things in your life and then there are others you do not because the next thing I knew was Opening my eyes I realized that I was standing outside, the frigid air seeped through my sweats, brushing up my heated skin. I shivered involuntarily
Peering into the darkness around me I started to see outlines of objects that surrounded me as my eyes started adjusting to the lack of light. I recognized that I am standing somewhere in a small forest clearing. I could hear nothing beyond the thrum of my heart. There was neither a whisper of wind nor the call of an owl just mind numbing silence. I was almost tempted to make some noise so I could keep my sanity but the silence was abruptly broken for me. Faintly I heard rustling sounds behind the curtains of blue/ black pine trees.
Subtly, the full moon slunk out from behind wisps of silvery clouds that sporadically filled the night sky and bathed the clearing in a pale silver haze. The crunching of leaves and snapping of branches steadily came closer and I could make out voices.
At first, they were too far away to make out any intelligible conversation or how many but as they finally ran into the clearing through the dense thicket that settled on the forest floor I was finally able to hear and see them clearly. It was if the moon had transformed into an enormous florescent light bulb and inundated the clearing with light. Just there, beyond the canopy of trees, were three people, a young woman and a man who carried toddler whose years could have totaled no more than four.
My eyes zeroed in on the woman was about ten paces in front of her companion while she stumbled forward falling most ungracefully to the ground and landing on her knees. She was very petite woman she had auburn hair that haphazardly hung in front of her face while she faced the ground but I could see patches of flawless pastel skin that graced her arms and legs. Pushing herself up from the ground her face came into view. Contorted in terror that is the only way to describe it. Her eyes were as cesspool of pain and fear. Before I could even move toward her to assist her up her male companion was at her side and grabbed her bleeding elbow helping her to stand.
The man was very tall he had very broad shoulders the material of his t-shirt stretched over his russet skin. From this vantage point, I could not see his face, the small child obscured it. She was beautiful, chocolate colored hair and her eyes are like brown endless pools, reflecting her emotions to the outside world. Tear streaked cheeks and ruddy skin were proof that she hd been crying for some time. She was afraid. But of what I am not sure.
The woman brushing off her now mud caked ivory sundress started to speak.
"Do you think that it is still behind us?"
"I don't hear anything but that doesn't mean its not there, you know it wants her." He said breathlessly.
He turned slightly and I could finally see his face. He had very prominent cheekbones that set off his deeply set amber eyes His mouth was drawn into a straight line, as he looked deep in thought. It was then in the distance that I heard a low guttural howling. The slight woman stiffened and looked at her companion fearfully
"What are we going to do?"
"It hasn't stopped we cannot keep running this is what we're going to do" he whispered while running a tan hand down her cheek. "You are going to take the baby and run, run as far and as fast as you can. I will buy you some time but I probably won't last long." He trailed voice echoing with despair.
"No!" I will not leave you" the woman adamantly stated.
"Renee, you know he will stop at nothing to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. He will kill all of us if you stay." he admonished
Renee looked at him her eyes brimming with tears." I love you, Charlie" Then she rose on her tip toes and gave him a kiss and retrieved the baby from her companions arms and then she was gone. At this I felt a flicker of recognition shoot through me. It was almost a deja-vu moment.
His eyes followed their exit and stayed transfixed on the spot where they disappeared until a very thunderous crashing noise reverberated in the woods. In an instant Charlie broke out of his trance and turned around. He pulled a knife out of a scabbard and took a defensive stance all the while the noise was approaching, and sounding more malicious.
The ground shook. Trees groaned and snapped and then toppled like they were mere matchsticks. I tried to back away from the sound but I could not move. It was if someone had glued my feet to the ground. The noise was almost deafening. Then without warning a creature leapt from the forest right toward the man in the clearing.
The beast was hideous, from where I stood I could only see the brown/black wiry hair that covered its body as it stood on two legs easily dwarfing the man that stood a good ten feet away. Its face was similar to a human but more sinister its black face was covered in the same hair that covered its body and its eyes were narrowed and iridescent red. Gnashing its teeth as it growled it then crouched I could see the muscles bunching then releasing as he lunged at the man. The male deftly ducked low to the ground and the creature sailed over him.
While the beast was landing with a loud thud the man whipped around and ran towards the saskwatchish figure with his arm raised, the dagger glinting slightly in the moon light. Fighting with every ounce of strength that he possessed the man attempted to plunge the knife it into the back for the foul beast. But the evil being was quicker, it rapidly spun around and swung his gigantic hand connecting with the comparatively elfish man and sent him sailing completely across the diminutive clearing Slamming into a nearby aspen tree with a hollow thud. Without wasting time the animal sprinted over to the now crumpled human.
No sound erupted from my lips as I inhaled deeply and forced the air out. I couldn't move either, I felt as if I was coated in cement and it was hardening, freezing me in position.
The man was slowly raised his head struggling with all his might to right himself, cherry colored blood seeped out of a deep wound on his forehead. His left arm contorted into an unnatural angle. Before the man could react the creature pinned him back against the side of the pale tree trunk. My vision was obstructed with the back of the beast hovering over the now captive man. I could hear the creature growling deeply I could actually picture the large razor sharp teeth, and the saliva dripping out of the gums mixing with the putrid smelling coarse hair that lined his mouth and chin.
I felt my heart pounding in my chest expecting it to beat through my rib cage and falling onto the ground in front of me. I could hear the muffled cries of the man growing stronger as the beast continued his assault until the minute screams erupted into a high blood curdling screech. It was at that point I believe my heart stopped beating, all that I could see beyond the backside of the monster was an occasional movement of the mans bloody limbs as he tried to free himself from the slow torture. The scream quickly turned into a deep gurgle and soon fell silent, I also saw the legs that were fighting to get free from the hideous animal has also become still
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of white, it was the woman who had run off but somewhere she had left the baby behind. An anguished war cry sounded reverberating in the cool night air simultaneously with the plunge of the woman's ornate dagger sinking into the flesh of the oblivious animal. The beast howled in pain and turned unexpectedly knocks the woman to the ground while concurrently thrusting its razor sharp claws into her stomach then retreated hastily into the forest all the while the whimpers of pain decreased until there was only the deafening silence of the now still forest.
The woman lye on the ground for a few moments while I was futilely trying to move my body so I could go attend to her wounds all the while watching her once ivory dress become marred by four crimson spots that were spreading at an alarming rate. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. Only able to watch but not able to help, it was wearing on my body and my spirit I want this nightmare before me to end. I saw the woman take in a deep ragged breath, I was sure that it would be her last, but to my surprise she forced the air out into a scream.
"Eibhlihin." The woman sobbed.
Nothing but silence, I looked around the clearing and it reminded me of some of the horror movies that I had seen at the movies or on TV but never thought that I would witness in my lifetime. The lifeless man slumped near the base of the white tinged aspen trunk his body covered in congealed blood, blank eyes fixed but not seeing. Then the woman struggling to get up calling something and quickly depleting her energy I could tell that she does not have much time left the blood has left her face and each intake of breath was followed by a gasp. She screamed again "Eibhlihin" her voice broke gurgling the last syllable.
Across the clearing I could see some of the low lying leaves stirring, the little girl that had been with the brown hair woman crawled slowly out from beneath the lowest of the branches of the shrubbery. I could not see her face because her head was bent down staring at the grass as she avoided the tangle of sticks and twigs that littered her path out of the foliage. Once in the clearing the little girl braced her hands on the ground and pushed herself up in to a standing position then ran over to the woman who was fading fast… I could see the sickly white sheen of her face and the ever growing pool of red that spread over her once pristine dress.
The chubby dark haired girl stopped abruptly as her vision narrowed in on the body that was resting at the base of the tree. I could actually feel her sobs of agony tightening the now present noose around my heart with every step as she ambled towards the almost dead woman.
"I know baby, Daddy's gone now." It took great effort for the woman to grab the girl and encircle her with her arms pulling her closer to her chest and burrowing her lips in the soft chocolate curls.
"Mommy does not have much time left either, but there is something that I need to give you"
From my vantage point I couldn't see exactly what she was doing but I could hear the anguish in her voice and the sorrow at leaving whom I now know is her daughter. I wanted to help, help her, take the girl but I am stuck I cannot move from this spot held by some unnatural force.
"This is for you Eibhlihin it will keep you safe and protect you from the evil that will undoubtedly surround you. This is the last thing I can give you, oh my precious baby, I love you."
Tears streamed down her face as she attached a bracelet on the little girls wrist. Her sporadic shallow breathing prevented her from speaking anymore her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body fell flaccidly to the ground, arms that were holding the little girl to her released and she too died… I looked at the little girl who had thrown herself over the top of the woman sobbing uncontrollably and noticed a faint glimmer in the quickly receding light.
I came into consciousness simultaneously with the incessant buzzing of the alarm clock. Still paralyzed with fear I stared up to the ceiling and gazed through the skylight, concentrating on the pale pinks and purples that swam in my vision, trying to block out the horrifying scene that I had just witnessed. I could feel the pounding of my heart trying to make a conscious effort to slow it down to a normal pace because echo of such beating was pounding in my ears furthering my anxiety. I remained still for what seemed like hours but I am sure it was just minutes the shrilling pitch of my alarm clock reverberated throughout the room.
I rolled over and turned off the alarm clock with great effort as my legs were tangled in my stiff comforter. Running a hand through my damp hair I mustered enough energy to untangle myself and swing my legs over the side of bed into an upright position. By this time my heart was well on its way to becoming a gentle gallop instead of the raging stampede that it was previously. The shadows which were scattered across my room started to disappear as I got my breathing under control.
I glanced to over at my alarm the neon green display read ten after six. Relief flooded through me I would not have to rush to get to school on time today. This made me feel a little better.
I have had this vision before twice that I can remember, The first time was when I was around 8 years old, it was the night before I was removed from my at the time foster mothers house her husband had come home in a drunken rage and took it out on me and I ended up in the hospital with 2 broken ribs and a collapsed lung. The tone in that dream was different though, it was not so ominous it was just of the three people running through the forest, I had woken before anything had happened.
The second time the dream replayed was when I was 10 years old living in a youth home, no one paid attention to the children. The staff would instead pass the time reading or watching the TV, as long as you didn't bother them there was no problem. I vaguely remember that I had been ill for days but I didn't want to bug my caretakers because upsetting them would result in losing in the backyard and playing on the decrepit swing set that they had built there. My room again was in the basement, I have no idea what it is with basements and homes but as always I shared it but this time with six other girls about my age, everyone had gone to school and I was the only one home well me and the staff person which for the life of me I cannot remember their name anyways
I remember staying huddled in my scratchy thin cotton blanket my temperature was raging but I extremely cold. So I slept most of that afternoon, the dream took a more sinister turn it was again like the scene from a horror movie but I did not get past the point where the lady attacks the hideous beast, I do remember the acrid smell though of his fur.. It is a stench that you do not soon forget. I don't actually remember waking up from the dream, but the next thing that I remembered was lots of people in white hovering above me, examining me. That night I had emergency surgery to remove my appendix, had the staff not checked on me and rushed me to the hospital I was told that I would have been dead by morning because my appendix had already ruptured and the toxins were invading my body.
I sat for a while wondering why the dream occurred this time I can tell for certain that I am not sick or hurt, nor am I endanger of dying so I was left feeling unsettled again. I clearly remember the lady, and how the little girl looked up at me, her haunting brown eyes staring into mine as if she was trying to tell me something. Then I remember the bracelet. I have one just like it on my wrist. I looked down and rubbed it. Hmm that is odd…. It to me seems like an ordinary bracelet but I have never figured out how to take it off, there are no clasps to release the intricately woven silver band that encircles my wrist, the seriously weird thing about it though is that it always seems to fit. As I grow the bracelet seems to grow with me. I am not superstitious and I don't believe in fairies and creepy crawlers that go bump in the night. If anything I am practical and level headed since the only one I have been able to count on is myself.
Breaking me from my reverie the snooze had run out and the piercing noise resumed with vengeance. Wobbly, I stood then reached toward the alarm clock and turned it off. While stretching I realized what today was; the dream now forgotten. I reached my arms upward trying to shake off the stiff feeling, and walked to my closet and grabbed the first pair of jeans and shirt that I found.
Jumping into the shower I hurriedly washed myself and set out to get dressed, I had chosen a pair of baggy jeans and a plain black t-shirt it was quite comfortable, and there is nothing more that makes me smile than being comfortable. Making short order of the shoes and socks I abruptly stood and brushed out my hair. I think that Brown is such a dull and boring color. I sometimes picture myself with blonde hair, I am always hearing about how blonds have more fun. I looked over to my nightstand where my alarm resided, Seven o'clock. I swiftly grabbed my favorite hoodie and black backpack then casually trotted down the steep stairs two at a time.
About half way down I smelled bacon and eggs. Taken aback I realized it was Mary and she was cooking breakfast so I quickly jumped down the last two steps and landed on the ground then skipped into the kitchen. Mary was in front of the stove completely dressed in her scrubs, pushing scrambled eggs onto a plastic dinner plate. Gracefully lowering myself into the chair parallel to the kitchen I chirped to Mary,
"Morning Mary, did you have a good day at work yesterday?"
I think that I startled her because she almost dropped the pan of eggs onto the plate recovering only at the last minute.
"Oh my goodness Bella Don't sneak up on me like that again; I thought I was having a heart attack." Mary admonished while setting the empty pan back on the stove. She then walked over to the table and sat the heaping plate of food in front of me.
Awkwardly she hugged me from behind,
."Did you sleep alright?"
"It was alright, I am not used to it here"
I replied then cringed as the nightmare I had last night tickled my consciousness but then recovered hoping she wouldn't read too much into it.
"I am a little anxious though about starting school though I have been so out of touch with people lately." I said dejectedly trying to cover up my lie but inside I was truly curious to start my new school, to have the chance to start over.
"It's not going to be that bad, you will do fine, I am sure you're a good hearted person, and everyone will love you. Come on now and eat your breakfast."
I looked at the plate of food in front of me, grabbed my fork and began eating. Mary sat down on the opposite side of the kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee full of cream and sugar.
"Mary do you want some coffee with your cream?" I asked.
"Ha-ha very cute Bella." She said while scrunching her nose at me
"Well I have no idea how in the world that you can drink that even with the extras. it is so bitter-ewww.."
"I must admit it is an acquired taste. I didn't care for it much in high school myself It was more a college thing, you know late night cram sessions with lots of caffeine mmm Yum."
It surprised me how we just jumped into playful banter this morning, Perhaps it was because I want this to work I want to figure out who I am and eventually be happy.
Mary glanced at her watch.
"Oh my goodness will you look at the time", She hurriedly put her empty coffee cup in the sink and went into the other room grabbing her purse.
"I have some errands to run this morning so I have to get going but I will see you after school and we can catch up on your day then."
"Okay, I will see you then." Mary walked back to the table and abruptly dropped a kiss on the top of my head and then all but ran out the door.