A/N: Hello again, How to Train your dragon lovers everywhere! This is a little bit of unconventional random writing. As for those of you reading "My Point Exactly", I'm so sorry for not updating, but I really want to get the Movie scene right, so it's going to be a while. If any of you want to help me with it, I'd be much obliged.
Back to HTTYD. I was doing my weekly check-for-news-on-HTTYD-sequel, and I came up with a bunch of stuff, so I decided to write this.
There are a lot of 13 references in here, so if you maybe wanna watch my performance before reading this… I'd love you forever.
http: (Slash) (Slash) www (Dot) youtube (Dot) com (Slash) watch?v=ao9yuBnuzgw
And, yes, I do the opening. That is ME singing. I am an actual real person. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
[Crowd cheers as camera zooms in at HICCUP sitting at a desk dressed as a news anchor, ASTRID sits beside him]
Hiccup: Hello, and welcome to HTTYD News Weekly! I'm Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III.
Astrid: And I'm Astrid Hofferson.
Hiccup: Today in Dragon news, Toothless ate a cucumber, and is still trying to get some cucumber skin out from between his teeth. I'd help, but honestly, those teeth scare me to Valhalla. Dad went out to buy Toothpicks, but Toothless just ignited them.
Astrid: Do they make good kindling?
Hiccup: Very much so.
Gobber: [from the audience] So Ironic, isn't it? Toothless getting stuff stuck in his teeth? Very appropriate name, Hiccup.
Hiccup: Hey, No comments from the peanut gallery!
Astrid: Wow, Hiccup, sounds like you and Toothless are in a pickle. [Crickets chirp, Hiccup stares at her] Get it? Cucumber… Pickle? Eh heh heh.
Hiccup: …Anyway, Over to Snotlout with the weather!
Astrid: A pickle is a brined Cucumber!
Hiccup: Astrid!
[Camera pans over to Snotlout, in front of a map of Berk, Hiccup appears in a rectangle in the upper-right corner of the screen]
Snotlout: Thanks, Hic!
Hiccup: So, Snotlout, do you think you can tell us the weather for the week?
Snotlout: Dude, I can tell you the weather for the year, and the one after that, and the one after that! Its going to Hail for three more months, and then its going to snow for nine. Hail, snow, hail, snow, hail, snow. [Tuffnut comes out of nowhere and starts beep-boxing under him, as Snotlout turns it into a rap] Hail, Snow, Hail, Ha-il, snow, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha -ha-hail, snooooooow! [Tuffnut exits]
Hiccup: Just for the week!
Snotlout: Word!
Hiccup: Snotlout!
Snotlout: Okay, okay, gods! [Turns to look at the map] Yup, we've got a bad storm coming in from the West, but after that some warm breezes from the south and oh! [Looks up at Hiccup in the box] A tiny nerd, coming in from the north!
Hiccup: [Rolling his eyes] Thank you, Snotlout! Now over to The twins with Sports!
Tuffnut: Hey, I'm Tuffnut Thorsten!
Ruffnut: And I'm Ruffnut Thorsten!
Tuffnut: And… Um… Wait, sports?
Ruffnut: We don't play any sports!
Tuffnut: Yeah, It shows, Fatso.
Ruffnut: Shut your mouth, Dipshi-
Hiccup: [Entering from the right] Does riding a dragon count as a sport?
Tuffnut: Alright, Hiccup, Whatever!
Ruffnut: Yes, yes, Uno Foot-o over here beat all five of our butts in a Dragon race for the millionth time! Woopee!
Tuffnut: I came in second!
Snotlout: [Giggling and entering from the left] That's what she said.
Ruffnut: What are you talking about? I came in second!
Tuffnut: Nu uh!
Ruffnut: Yeah huh!
Astrid: [Entering from the right] You guys ride the same Dragon! Besides, I was the one who came in second.
Snotlout: Maybe so, but let's not forget who has the best dragon!
Hiccup: Me! [Makes a heart with his hands] Love you, Toothless!
Astrid/Snotlout/Ruffnut/Tuffnut: YOU DON'T COUNT!
[Stoick enters and glares at everyone, and they all go silent]
Stoick: This show is GOING TO THE DRAGONS! Get back to work!
All: Yes Sir!
Hiccup: And now over to our very own Fishlegs Ingerman, who was lucky enough to be able to attend the Annie Awards! Tell us all about it, Fish! [Camera pans over to Fishlegs, who is also at a desk]
Fishlegs: Well, Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon Wins Annabeth The Unicorn's "Best Movie in the World award"! Also, We were on fire at the Annie Awards!
Astrid: Yeah?
Fishlegs: Yeah! We got nominated for Best Animated Television commercial, and we didn't win. But wait for it, we DID win: [Music plays]
Best Writing!
Best Storyboarding!
Best Production Design!
Best soundtrack!
Best Directing!
Best Character Design!
Best character Animation!
Best Animated effects!
And Finally, Best Animated feature!
[The crowd goes wild!]
Astrid: [Entering] You're forgetting one!
Fishlegs: Do you want to tell him?
Astrid: And Hiccup was voted as having the best voice ever!
[Jay Baruchel is at home, watching, thinking 'That kid seems familiar…']
Hiccup: [exited] seriously?
Snotlout: [from off-camera] it's nasally, but in an awesome way.
Hiccup: Huh. [Clears throat] Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!
Fishlegs: Guys, let's get back on track, now, we need to tell them about the sequel!
Hiccup: Oh, right! [He and Astrid run back to desk]
Fishlegs: Back to you, Hiccup! [Camera pans over]
Hiccup: Thank you, Fishlegs! In other News, We've talked to Co-Director Dean DeBlois, and according to him, WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A TRILOGY!
Astrid: Calm down.
Hiccup: Okay.
Astrid: One movie at a time.
Hiccup: Right. (sniff) Back to the sequel. The release date is set for late 2013, early 2014.
Astrid: Yes, and I believe it was Bonnie Arnold, who said "It's going to be more fun adventures with Hiccup and Toothless. There will be some new dragons and maybe some new characters. It's the further adventures of Hiccup on his journey of becoming a man and the ultimate leader of the Viking clan."
Hiccup: Becoming a man?
Astrid: Uh oh, knowing this author- [Music plays]
Hiccup: I'm becoming a man
I don't know what a man really means
The rule book grows, but no one knows
What all the rules allow
Snotlout: [Entering] Isn't this from 13?
Fishlegs: NO! You said the name! Now we ALL have to sing!
All: The best and the worst
And the most and the least
And the crazy and the scary
And I'm standing on the edge!
Hiccup:
Twelve years old, everything that used to be as good as gold starts to crumble and crack
Hiccup/Astrid/Snotlout:
Pressure mounts, once it was a joke, now it really counts and there's no turning back
All:
Life goes wrong
Tuffnut:
Suddenly they're yelling cause your hair's too long
Ruffnut:
Or your room isn't clean
All:
Roll along
Evan: [Appearing out of nowhere]
Every conversation is another lost cause or a list of my flaws
And I'm just about to turn
Hiccup/Astrid/Evan/Snotlout:
Just about to Turn,
All:
God I'm gonna turn 13!
[Snotlout takes an ax and cuts off Evan's head]
Snotlout: Shame, He stayed twelve. Now get back to the sequel.
Hiccup: Ooookay. Well, DeBlois also said, "I turned in the script before the holidays, and got some notes back and I'm working on a second draft! It's going to be quite epic. We are treating How To Train Your Dragon as the first act in a much larger story. As we head into this one, the world expands. Everything is much bigger with still the heartfelt qualities that made the first one resonate so much with audiences. There are no longer restrictions to this tiny island in the North Sea. They have the entire Northern hemisphere within their grasp."
Astrid: Sounds Like we're gonna meet new friends, and new enemies! And go to strange places like- like sola sellew!
Hiccup: Do you think we'll meet Camicazi? Qille has told me all about her!
Astrid: I don't like her.
Hiccup: you haven't met her.
Astrid: She's your implied love interest in the books. I don't like her.
Snotlout: [From off-camera] What? Is someone a little jealous?
Tuffnut: [From off-camera] Wow, Astrid, jealous of a girl you've never met.
Ruffnut: [muttering] now you know my pain.
Tuffnut: What was that?
Ruffnut: Nothing!
Snotlout: well, you know Astrid, If Hiccup ever dumps you for this Camicazi chick, I'm always single!
Astrid: If Hiccup ever dumps me for that Camicazi chick, I'll leave pieces of that succubus all over The northern hemisphere.
Hiccup: Well, that's not gonna happen! Sorry Qille.
[Qille is at home, watching, thinking 'Darn!']
Astrid: better not.
Hiccup: BACK TO THE SEQUEL!
Astrid: It is indeed going to be Epic.
Hiccup: Very Epic.
Tuffnut: [from off-camera] It's gonna be Legit!
Snotlout: Hel yeah!
Hiccup: Well, thank you all for joining us for this episode of HTTYD News Weekly! See you next week for more… whatever the heck we do on this show.
All: Goodbye!
A/N: LoL! Leave a review! Should I continue to do these weekly? Every Saturday maybe? I sure had fun writing it, and I hope you had fun reading!