101 things not to do at HQ

by Cledism is my religion

Exactly what the title says. The characters the "things NOT to do" may range from Lust and Gluttony, to Edward and Alphonse. Read and enjoy.

1. Chapter 1

101 things NOT to do at HQ.

[A/N: Ever read any HP fics called 101 things not to do at Hogwarts? Then this is the FMA equivalent!

A little bit OOC, but I just wanted to have a little fun!

And I don't own FMA... unfortunately... ]

One may not go around HQ handing out flyers for a group called 'MIGETS UNITE'.

One peaceful morning in HQ, Mustang was bored stiff. He had finished all of his paperwork, he had lit the fireplace in the corner, he had checked on his team, he had no one to torch and –most importantly- he had no Edward to annoy (he had wandered off- AGAIN). Then –all of a sudden- Mustang had a great idea.

"LIGHTBULB!" he cried to no one in particular, rushing towards a particularly large stack of white paper.

One hour and a couple hundred flyers later...

"COLONEL F*CKING BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Edward screamed out, clutching a flyer that read "Don't stress if you are PUNY, don't feel insignificant if you are SMALL- if you come to the support group exclusively for SHORT people, you be saying MIDGETS unite in no time!"

The colonel just smirked and said "It's a flyer Edward; surely your SMALL eyes can see that"

Needless to say, Roy spent the next four months in a hospital.

One may not name one of their pets after Edward Elric.

"Pleeeeeease Edward? Can I pleeeease keep him?" Alphonse begged.

"Al, I've said no to the last 517,890- what makes you think this one is any different?"

It was late in the afternoon in HQ when Edward and Alphonse were having their weekly argument about Al one weakness- kittens.

"Please brother, I'll take full care of it!" Al insisted, but Ed just sighed. But then Al had an idea (not a good one, and not a bad one per sea- just an idea).

"What if I named him after you?" Alphonse suggested and Ed's stubbornness wavered "Really?" he asked, his pride getting in the way.

"SURE!" Al said enthusiastically.

"So what'll it be then- Fullmetal, Ed, Edward, the-great-almighty-one?"

"Nope, just Midge!"

Edward stared down his younger brother and started steaming out of his ears, "What did you just say?" he asked menacingly."Midge!" Alphonse answered and started to run away, his brother chasing him.

"GET YOUR OVER-SIZED STEEL ARSE BACK HERE ALPHONSE!"Edward screamed, ready to murder his brother.

[A/N:... Reveiw?]