The Mikado made a retching sound and spit out his tea angrily, glaring at the maid by the door.
"Some new maid!" He snapped, "You can't even make tea right!" He threw the cup at her, where it shattered against her right arm, "Fucking foreign women!"
Vice sat at his side, snickering at him, then looking at the maid, "Can I kill her, then?"
"Be my guest..." The stuck up former-emperor crossed his arms.
But before Vice could even stand, the 'maid' lifted her right arm. Silver fabric folded back to reveal obsidian armor on her hand and halfway down her forearm. The rest of her forearm was covered in black veins. Dull grey eyes stared at them as every door and window in the place shut and locked violently. She set her arm back down, "It wasn't tea." She smiled pleasantly, "It's just coffee. It tastes much better with sugar and cream in it, of course. It was Disarray's idea to give it to you." With the armored hand she set her finger against the wall. Blackness swirled for just a moment, then faded, revealing a figure.
"So you're the one he decided to use. What a waste."
"Boss! Wake the hell up!"
He groaned. Only one douji ever called him 'boss'. And he'd been stuck with him for a year.
"The hell do you want, Rage?" He looked up into a smirking face. He swore he was gonna wipe that damn thing off with a swift Turtle Saw one day.
"Well, seeing as you're kinda stuck in a pile of rubble, I kinda wanna know what happened?" Rage was kneeling beside him, his elbow on his knee and his cheek on his fist. The cheeky little shit stain. Then Rage's words registered. He looked around and realized that he was, indeed, halfway buried in building parts. None of them looked damaged, in fact it looked like someone had meticulously taken the building apart and then tossed it at random into a pile. He blinked.
"I either had the weirdest fucking night or that asshole Regula decided I didn't need to know what the hell happened."
"Or Dunstan." Rage shrugged, "He can do it too."
"Aw, don't remind me." He groaned and drug himself out of the pile, "Where's my shit pile of a master?"
"In the middle of the river." Vice gave him a look, "What? The guy wouldn't shut the hell up about how dirty he was and pissed me off, so I told him to take a bath."
"...In the middle of the river?" Vice laid on his back, sighing.
"...well..."
"You threw him in there."
"Maybe just a little."
"The river is nearly half a mile across this season, that's not a little, Rage."
Rage pouted at him. Vice wondered again why he put up with this...kid.
"Whatever. If he drowns, I'm cutting your sphere out by hand."
"Um..."
Vice groaned loudly, "Go get him." He rubbed his temples. Rage performed a quick salute and left.
After a moment, Vice sat up, staring at the pile of utter disarray.
Disarray. Why did that word suddenly feel like it had greater meaning...? He scrunched up his face. Eyup. Definitely a sign of noh-induced amnesia.
He shook his head and stood just as Rage returned with a soaking wet, screaming Kotsutsubo over his shoulder. Of course, Rage's smirk had vanished in favor of a scowl. It always did around humans. He dropped the former emperor to the ground and walked back over to Vice.
"Mission accomplished. Shit master returned. What next, Boss?"
"Getting you a master."
And there was that glare, "I am not attaching myself to a human."
Vice flicked his nose, "Too fucking bad, kid."
"M'not a kid." He grumbled.
"You are literally a year old."
"S'not the point." He crossed his arms.
"Entirely the point." Vice had no idea why Dunstan thought it was a good idea to drop off the newest and last douji off with him. It was a stupid idea, really. Rage acted like a three year old on a tantrum rampage at the best of times. No, at the best of times he was the cat who ate the canary, and that was equally as annoying. Rage was a lucky son-of-a-bitch to not have died yet. Rage interrupted his thoughts.
"So what happened to that new maid? The one you chased me away to talk to?" He blinked as Vice and his master gave him blank looks.
"Who?"
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