Lydia
**Spoilers for Strawberries and Cream** – Like most of you, I can't get the finale out of my mind. Thought of this little scenario and had to write it down. Sorry, but this one's short. Hope you enjoy.
Her name was Lydia. She was eight years old, had dark brown hair, brown eyes and freckles. She sits across the room from me, clinging to her mother's side. Little girls her age should not have to go through what Lydia is forced to deal with, I conclude. Her life should be filled with butterflies, ponies, and princesses instead of harsh realities that will most certainly force her to grow up way before her time. Dry tear stains are the evidence of anguish already lived and their current location only promises more to come.
I wondered what life had been like for Lydia, before now. Did her mother braid her hair in pigtails before school every morning? Did she have a crush on a boy in school or did they all still have cooties? Did her father teach her how to ride her first bike complete with a basket and pink streamers? Her father. Did she kiss him goodbye every morning before he went off to wherever he went every day? Did she tell him "I love you daddy"? Did he reply "I love you too sweetheart"? Did she even have the faintest idea? I doubt it, and take the moment to pray to whoever is listening that she'll be spared the truth in this instance.
And then there's Lydia's mother who has just recently found out that the last fifteen years of her marriage has all been a lie. The woman doesn't even know about Roseland yet. Maybe she'll never know but I doubt it. Hopefully, she'll be able to move on, find someone to love. As soon as those thoughts enter my mind, I want to vomit.
At the very least, this path of destruction will end here. After years of blood, evil smiles and shattered families, it will finally be over. That should be enough but…
I must have zoned out because by the time I realize what is going on the Judge is asking me a question.
"Mr. Jane, how do you plead?"
As the question is asked brown eyes slowly turn to meet mine. Something inside of me breaks at what I see in her eyes. Fear. Out of all the scenarios that played out in my head, this is the one I never saw coming. For years, I waited, longed, for the chance to rid the world of the evil that took away the only things in my life that mattered. He was the monster, the beast, the tiger preying on little lambs like my beautiful daughter. I was the hunter, or so I thought. Those brown eyes awakened me to a new truth. When Red John's life ended the hunter became the tiger. I became the tiger, the beast that lived in the nightmares of little girls like Lydia and hopefully, by the time this trial was over I would be where I belonged.
I peel my eyes away from Lydia, in her strawberry pink dress and look back up at the Judge. "Guilty, your honor. Guilty."
After all, the only safe place for a tiger is in a cage.
Fin