The stress of being the shadow broker

Liara rubbed her eyes one more time while trying to focus on the words, they were her words but at the moment the asari was so tired they might as well have been written by somebody else. They blurred together on the screen, taunting her. Telling her it was time to go to bed. She sighed and closed her eyes.

A soft snore made her look up and towards the bed on her right. She smiled affectionately at the sleeping form of her bondmate. Liara did want to join Shepard on the bed, curl herself into Shepard's body, press her nose into the former commander's neck and just rest. Relax. Breathe. Sleep.

But she couldn't. Shepard didn't even know that Liara had gotten up from the bed again after the commander had fallen asleep. There had been a time when the soldier would have noticed anything moving in the night. But the war was over and they were safe and it hadn't been difficult to crawl away from Shepard's comforting embrace and sit down in front of the screens again. She knew that Shepard wouldn't be happy if she knew that Liara was still awake and she felt guilty about it. But she also knew she had to get this done.

Liara tried to focus on the words again while mindlessly rubbing one hand over her swollen stomach. She knew that she should be able to feel the baby kick any day now and she was looking forward to it.

"Mommy?" A small voice came from the doorway. Liara looked up and saw their other daughter standing in the doorway, clutching her teddy bear, a strange human toy that Shepard had given her.

"Acantha?" Liara said, "why are you still up? Come here."

Acantha walked with light steps over to her mother, and smiled when Liara immediately lifted her up and cradled her in her lap. There wasn't as much room as there used to be there, not with the belly in the way, but Acantha was mainly looking forward to becoming a big sister.

"Dad snores," the little asari said and rested her head against Liara's chest.

Liara giggled softly.

"But surely you didn't hear that all the way to your room?"

Acantha hugged the teddy bear closer to her chest.

"I had a nightmare," she said and lifted her head up. Liara kissed her between her green eyes and gently wiped a tear off of her freckled cheeks. Liara did know that the freckle-like markings probably came from her side of the family but at times she really thought they resembled Shepard's freckles more than her own.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Liara asked.

Acantha shook her head and then put her head against Liara's belly.

"Can it hear us?" She asked.

"It's not an it," Liara said, "it's a she and yes, she can."

"What are we going to call her?" Acantha then asked, putting two hands on Liara's belly and looking at it intently as if inspecting it.

"We haven't decided yet," Liara said, "but I think your dad would like a more human name this time."

"Like… Samantha… or… or Ashley? Or maybe Miranda?" Acantha asked, suddenly excited. Acantha loved her aunts.

"Those are all pretty names," Liara said, "but I don't know, we're going to have to ask your dad. But you know that your grandmother's name was Hannah, wouldn't that be pretty as well?"

Acantha shook her head.

"I don't like it."

"Oh you don't, do you," Liara replied and sighed heavily. Acantha had made her relax just enough so that the asari felt just how tired she was.

"What are you doing?" Acantha said, lifting her head from Liara's stomach and instead facing the screen. Acantha was extremely unable to let things alone and as soon as she had been able to walk Shepard and Liara had had to make sure that there were no buttons available for her to press. Even now, when she was getting older Liara had to reach out and stop curious little blue fingers from pressing on anything.

"Sometimes people need to be told what to do," Liara said as she started rocking Acantha back and forth, needing her to settle down. Otherwise neither of them would get any sleep tonight. It wasn't a good answer, but there were things that Acantha was not yet old enough to hear about, it was years before she would learn about her mother being the shadow broker. Or how after the war she had had to continuously make sure that people kept themselves in check, make sure that fractions were kept happy and that war didn't break out. As much as Shepard wanted to help, it wasn't her job. It was Liara's and Liara did like it, it was just a stressful time and she couldn't wait for it to be over. They were safe, but Liara felt that it was her job to keep the rest of the galaxy relatively safe as well.

"But you're tired," Acantha said and tried to swallow a yawn but was unsuccessful, "you tell me what to do all the time. And dad. When Samantha Ashley Miranda is born you're going to be telling her what to do as well." Liara chuckled at Acantha's name for the baby and she stroked her lovingly over the head.

"Well, you sometimes forget things that you need to do," she said, "the same with your dad. And I hope that your little sister will need me just as much as you do."

"You always take care of us, mommy," Acantha said and closed her eyes, "can't we sleep now?"

"Yes we can," Liara said, she gently pushed Acantha off her lap into a standing position but still held her. She wished that she could carry her daughter but Acantha had grown a lot lately, and Liara's pregnant stomach was in the way.

"Come on, darling," she said gently, and mother and daughter walked together to the bed where Shepard was still sleeping soundly.

Acantha jumped in under the cover first and crawled until she was next to Shepard, Liara lay down on the other side, but didn't fully lie down until she had reached over Acantha's head and placed a kiss on Shepard's forehead.

"I love you," she whispered tenderly. Then she laid her head on the pillow next to Acantha. The little asari seemed to have already fallen asleep and Liara kissed the back of her crest.

"Good night mommy," Acantha whispered sleepily.

"Good night, darling," Liara replied. Her head was still spinning with all the things she had to do and she knew that tomorrow she would have to face her responsibilities again but for tonight she was going to rest. Tonight she would sleep and feel happy that her family was safe and right next to her. She would sleep this night knowing that she was surrounded by love.