Sarah O'Brien paused for a second, inhaling a deep breath as her rough hand clasped the door handle to her mistresses room. The guilt which had planted itself in her very core had sprouted and grown like a rose bush, sprawling and twisting, growing monstrously around her heart and bones. Each thorn pierced her very soul, and with each thought of her Lady and the pain she'd been put to, the thorns constricted and pulled her down so she felt as though she were to drown in the guilt.
And as if with every glance at Cora Crawley, instead of allowing the vines of guilt to swallow her whole, she felt a small warming in her chest. With every cup of tea poured, with every pin placed carefully in her hair, with every small smile of comfort, with every second she was in her presence a small piece of the ever growing beast within her was hacked away.
She gently curled the door handle and stepped inside the Countess's dark room. She was slowly starting to recover from the illness she had been put to, the illness which had claimed so many, the illness which had also claimed the life of Matthews fiancé. The stench of death in the house had been crawling every corridor and up every doorframe. Sarah had been determined to stand guard beside her mistress, fighting away every attempted grasp for Cora's life. Death would have to get through her if he wanted Cora Crawley.
Sarah had awoken earlier than the rest of the downstairs staff, as she'd usually done since Cora had started her journey of recovery. When she'd been on the brink of death, she hadn't dared leave the room. Now that Cora was through the worst of it, she'd allowed Mrs Hughes to shuffle her back downstairs during the night. Sarah couldn't help but roll her eyes. She doubted the housekeeper cared for her at all, and it didn't really make much difference. Sarah left Cora's roomed well into the night, and returned again mere hours later in the early morning. The stress of it all was definitely taking its toll on her both physically and mentally. She was pale and rather thin looking, her eyes reddened and tired with creases, her hair slightly flatter than usual. It was the tiredness that seemed to be hitting her hardest, though to be fair during the long days sat at Cora's bedside she occasionally allowed her eyes to close in the silence, her ears perked for any sort of noise from the Countess.
She moved carefully across the room, her eyes flickering to the Countesses pale face which was engulfed in the soft pillows. A shadow of a smile appeared on Sarah's face at the sight of Cora's chest moving gently up and down. Weak as she was, she was alive and that's all Sarah needed at the moment. Dr Clarkson had insisted that her recovery would be gradual, but though she would need a lot of bed rest, she would in fact be back to her usual self in a couple of weeks.
Sarah moved to Cora's bedside, placing a rough hand gently on her forehead to feel her temperature. Warm, but considerably cooler than when she'd been in the fiery depths of fever. Sarah pulled her hand from Cora's head carefully and moved into the bathroom quietly. She retrieved a couple of clean cloths and returned to the bedroom, taking a seat next to the bed, reaching over and wiping away a few stray beads of sweat that had taken to Cora's fod. She was still so delicate and feeble... Sarah was half terrified that Cora's breath would suddenly cease, regardless of Dr Clarksons reassurance.
The touch of the cloth on her head seemed to have an effect on Cora, and Sarah pulled the cloth away quickly as the Countess stirred. She turned her head jerkily towards the source of the contact, and for the first time in days, those piercing icy eyes looked into her. A smile spread over Sarah's face and she leant in slightly as Cora blinked a few times through half open eyes.
"M'lady?"
"...O'Brien?" Cora's voice was hoarse, worse than Sarah had ever heard it even, but it filled her with such relief that she felt her heart swell.
"Good morning, M'lady," Sarah spoke softly. "How're you feelin'?"
Cora closed her eyes for a second, a small frown appearing. "Terrible..." she muttered, locking her eyes onto her maids. "What time is it?"
"Still early, m'lady... I'm sorry if I woke you."
Cora made a strange noise in the back if her throat, and made an attempt to shake her head. For a moment she just lay there, her eyes closed. Sarah watched her carefully, not daring to look away for a second.
"O'Brien...will you...help me with..." Cora shuffled slightly beneath the quilts, attempting to free herself from their confines. Sarah stood, pulling the quilts gently down to allow some air to Cora's arms and chest. Cora shifted slightly, as if trying to get comfortable before settling with a slight sigh.
"Is that better, m'lady?" Sarah asked, patting at the quilts. Cora nodded, a small smile curling her lips. She extended a thin, shakey hand to her maid, her eyes briefly glancing to it before returning to Sarah's face. Cora looked helplessly at the woman before her, and Sarah took Cora's hand in her own securely, sitting carefully back down on the chair beside the bed.
Cora inhaled deeply, a feeling of overwhelming fondness washing over her as she stared at her maid. Sarah glanced at their entwined hands, the feeling of relief in her chest growing every second.
"Thank you, O'Brien." She brushed a thumb over the back of Sarah's hand. Cora paused for a second, looking away almost shyly before looking up to Sarah's face, like a child to its mother. "Do you... Do you think this means... Am I to recover, now?" Sarah looked into Cora's pleading face, so desperate for reassurance and comfort. She felt her stomach twist. Cora was looking to her, Sarah O'Brien, a mere ladies maid, for reassurance. She gave Cora's hand a light squeeze, offering her a warm smile.
"Dr Clarkson has said you're through the worst of it... That you're to recover the next couple days. I'm sure you're going to be fine, m'lady." Cora's eyes softened at her words. "You just need to rest to get your strength back up, an' I'm here to make sure you do just that." Sarah risked a cheeky smirk, a risk which Cora seemed to take gladly and responded to with a faint grin. "You'll be back to your normal self in a couple of days."
"What would I do without you, my dear O'Brien?"
"I'm sure you'd be alright, m'lady."
"That's the thing, I don't think I would..." Cora turned her head into the pillow, tiredness taking ahold of her. She kept her eyes on O'Briens face.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere, m'lady, don't you worry about that." And with one last squeeze, Cora's eyes slowly closed and she drifted back into a deep sleep, her hand staying firmly ahold of Sarah's. Sarah watched her for a few minutes, her heart aflutter with Cora's words. She would always be here for her, always. Nothing on this earth would tear her away from Cora.
Life of course, is never quite that simple.