Yo! Minna! Gomenasai! I know that I wasn't able to post any new story, actually I did, but I ran out of ideas, Please give me ideas, PM me I beg of you. Anyway thank you for I thing bearing with me?... huhuhuhu, but at least I'll be posting a new story of our favorite yaoi couple from Fairy Tail. I just hope it I don't ran out of ideas again.

-0.o Natsu o.0

I don't own Fairy Tail or its original characters.

Prologue

Everything was just black, nothingness and endless void surrounding my world, I can hear nothing, silence engulfing everything, only the sound of my breathing and heart can I only hear. I felt cold, cold as ice..I felt numb and ...dead. I am desperate to hear his voice, Gray's voice. I want him tell me everything's alright that he's here for me. Please..just ...I..just want him to be beside me right now. I need you...Gray.

Out of the darkness, I heard him, his voice. Yet it was cold and menacing, anger, confusion, and just purely anger was the tone of his voice, It was not caring, nor loving, it was of like the intent to kill, like facing your enemy. It was calling to me, like I was his enemy, It was scary the scariest I've ever heard and it was the most painful and unbearable words I could ever hear. It echoes from the darkness, It pierces into my soul. Shivers ran down my whole body. One by One I heard those painful words that I knew was just so real and true.

"I hate you Natsu, I don't love you!"

"Get the hell outta my life!"

"I don't want to see your face ever again!"

"You disgust me!"

"No wonder your parents died, your best friend died, and Igneel died. It was because of loving and caring for you!"

"I don't want to die so stop saying that you care and love me!"

"Do you think, I cared for you? Ha don't make me laugh, I never cared."

"You're just a pest, that sticks with me."

"You're not worth anything, a speck of dust is more of a worth than you."

"You don't deserve to live."

"You are so worthless."

This weren't the words I want to hear, this words pierced into my very soul, killing me, slowly and painfully. I can't hold back the tears, they just kept on going and going, I want to see him, even if it pains me. I want to kiss him, even if it kills me, I want to embrace him and never let go, even if I know that he'll never love me, I want to be a worth for him, even if I'm so worthless. I couldn't even remember the day I deemed myself worthy, I guess I was just so ignorant.

I smiled through all of that times, haahaha I smiled during the funeral of my parents, Igneel, and even my bestfriend. The tears were there of course, but I never stopped smiling, I pretended to be happy, to be carefree, to feel nothing, to forget those hurtful moments, just so that I wouldn't be reminded that I was worthless, so worthless. Everyone thinks that I am happy all the time, seeing how energetic and carefree I was, but deep down I was breaking I didn't want anyone to pity me, I didn't want to look so weak. My parents once told me during the toughest times and the saddest moments you should smile the most, it encourages you to move forward, to become stronger, and to find purpose.

I was finding my purpose to find my worth, and had thought I had found it when I met him, the person who made things clear to me, the person who I loved so much, the person I didn't want to lose, the person who cleared my mind that I was not worthy of him or anything. Gray...Gray Fullbuster.

So this is what they called unrequited, you love the person so much, but they just didn't love you back the way you want them to. Gray, everytime I just hear his name makes me remember, his eyes, dark blue that can peer any soul and could capture any girl's heart, his lips, how wonderful it is curling to a smile and a smirk that just adds to his handsomeness, his well-toned body, it was like of a god's his firm muscles that can keep someone so warm and feel safe.

"I didn't deserve him"

"I don't have the right to love him"

"He hates me so much"

"He would be pleased if I just..die"

"He suffers because of me."

"I have no right to need him."

"I have no right to feel him."

"I have no right to be loved by him."

"And yet I love him so much"

"Even if I'm just so worthless."

Gray, I'm so sorry for invading your life, I'm so sorry that I was just not worthy for you to love me back, I want to make you smile, I want to make you happy. I don't want to see you sad, I don't want you to be like me, I don't want you to experience my sadness, I want to hold you, love you, be with you...and feel that I might not be that worthless after all.

"I Love You So Much Gray."

He looks peaceful and beautiful, the sun rays touching and adoring his skin. His skin, it was once so healthy, that it glowed, so gorgeous, that it was so soft and gentle, so...perfect. Just like him, but now his skin, it is bruised and battered, once warm and comforting is now pale and cold. Yet...why was he still smiling? I had hurt him, abused him, and said terrible things to him, So ...Why? ...just Why? I am a selfish bastard, an asshole, a jerk. I blamed him for my misfortunes, I blamed him for loosing the person I had loved the most. And yet...Why do I feel this way about you?

"Why Natsu?"

"Why did you love me?"

"Why did you come into my life?"

"Why is it everytime you shed tears, I feel pain?"

"Why do you put up with me?"

"Why did you have to do this to me?"

"Why did you have to save me?"

"Why do you still have to hurt me, seeing you like this?"

"Why do I Love You?"

Natsu, It means summer, not really the best season out there, I would actually prefer spring but Summer, it was at that time we met, and I laid my eyes on him, he was my bestfriend since we were little kids, never once did I see him frown. I never was in love with him, not until a couple of months ago. Natsu, here he sleeps on a hospital bed, just looking at him like this pains me, his salmon pink hair that shoots in all directions had now lost some of it's true color, his eyes laid shut, not knowing when will it open again, and his lips that now had lost their pinkish color, still smiles.

I feel guilt flowing all over my veins, I had touched his skin, it was bruised and battered because of me, I feel like Natsu is mocking me still smiling even in his injured state. Right now I miss him so much, I missed him looking at me and talking to me, I missed him annoying the shit out of me, how he never did once left me alone. I realized without him I feel so alone and lonely, I am just incomplete without him. I can't stop blaming myself. What did Natsu ever do wrong to make him deserve this, he never deserve to be hit, to be hurt, to feel so much pain. And I did those to him.

"Hey Gray! I cooked your favorite!"

"Gray, please can you help me with this?"

"Gray can you sit with me?"

"Gray don't let them get through you"

"Gray you're great person"

"Gray I ..I Love You!"

"Gray..I need you"

"Gray let me help you"

"Gray...I Love you so much.."

Oh How I miss that voice, it was the complete opposite of how I talk to him, he talked to me like a friend, with so much care and love, it showed concern. I hated him, so much, but right now, I can't even hate him.

"I Love You Too, Natsu, so much"

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