A/N: I haven't forgotten about my other stories! I wrote this fic for Kakavege Week, which is currently taking place on tumblr. Please take the warning tags below seriously. But if you don't want to be spoiled and want to read this fic the way I intended, avoid reading the rest of this author's note.

I feel strange asking you all to enjoy this since I personally don't think this is a work you can take joy in reading. So I will instead say, "I hope you find this to be interesting."

Warnings: Infidelity, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, reference to suicide.

Cheers to You

Perched on Kakarot's shoulder lay a single strand of long red hair. I found it to be curious, but I didn't want to question it.

"Hey," Kakarot says. I have no idea why he has such a cocky smile on his face. It's been a few hours since I last saw him. During daylight hours it was normal for him to go wandering about by himself. Lately he's been missing from home more often, but I'm in no position to scrutinize his behavior. I spent years of my life sequestered away in my ex-wife's Gravity Chamber. As long as Kakarot came back home in time for dinner I didn't have a problem with his absence.

He unties the sash around his waist and lets his pants fall around his ankles. These days when he takes his clothes off I'm not sure if he wants me to do the laundry or have sex with him. While staring up at his ruddy face I lick my lips, waiting for him to toss his dirty clothes into my open arms. Instead, he grabs my wrist and pulls me toward our bedroom.

I grin. I don't mind if I have to wash the bed sheets later on.

"How long has it been, Veggie?"

I look up from my plate of eggs to stare at Kakarot. He wags his eyebrows and smiles me.

"How long has what been?"

"You know. Since the last time you drank?"

Oh. I look up at the ceiling as if I can't remember. As if I hadn't spent the last month counting down the days to this exact moment. "It's been four years now."

"That's amazing!"

I grunt in affirmation. I'm not the kind of man to give myself congratulatory pats on the back. Kakarot isn't prisoner to my pride: he shuffles around the table and shoves himself into my lap, compliments spilling freely from his tongue. Warm arms envelope me, soon followed by an endless barrage of kisses to my temple.

Today is also the fourth anniversary of my divorce. But I don't see a reason Kakarot should celebrate that as well.

"Where did you go today, Kakarot?"

It's nighttime. I catch him sneaking through our half-closed bedroom door. Even though my bedside table lamp is on, he must have thought I was asleep.

He's never come back home this late before. During the whole course of our relationship he's never skipped dinner with me before, either. He looks across the expanse between us with a look of confusion on his face. With deliberation in his every step, he creeps toward the bed and lies down next to me.

Is the bastard seriously going to pretend as if I can't smell the mint of mouthwash on his breath or the faint whiff of body wash on his skin?

He remains silent. I speak again. "Answer me. Where did you go today?"

His eyes dart to the left. "I visited a friend?"

I squint at him. In the mustard-colored light he looks like a different man. "You don't sound so sure about that," I say evenly.

His Adam's apple bobs as he gulps. "I, um, I visited a childhood friend. Sorry about being late. I lost track of time!" Just like he's always done, he scratches the back of his head in confusion and waits for me to stop being mad at him.

"Alright," I say. I don't want to hear him say another word. My overactive imagination has gotten me into trouble before. Within me rises a nasty feeling similar to all of the times I believed he mocked me for being inferior in strength. I turn my lamp off and roll over on my side so I don't have to look at his stupid face any longer.

For an eternity I wait for him to say goodnight. Or I love you. Even if he started screaming at me for getting on his case, I would have been thrilled he spoke to me at all. But he remains deathly silent, even as I drift off to sleep.

I pump Kakarot's cock in my hand. Anxiety builds within me and my chest tightens. My dearest Kakarot is as soft as a fucking sponge. This is the first time we've attempted to have sex in weeks.

I wish the problem were as simple as him being too tired to make love to me. Or that he just wasn't in the mood. Or that he'd lost attraction to me. Hell, I would have been content if it turned out he had some sort of psychological block that prevented his dick from getting hard.

Kakarot reeked of someone else's floral perfume and sex. Going by his limp dick, he's already come recently. He biologically is not capable of coming again any time soon.

My abdomen quivers as I bend over the toilet. While my stomach empties itself inside of the porcelain bowl, I think of Kakarot's beautiful face twisted in ecstasy. Whoever he's fucking must be a good lay, because he missed dinner again tonight. I haven't thrown up this much since I used to drink.

He fucks me into the mattress. Beneath us the bed springs squeak so loud they overpower the chirping cicadas outside of our bedroom window. I cry out not in pleasure, but in relief that he's loyal to me again.

Today I go grocery shopping. I pick up a six pack of beer, put it back, pick it up again, and then leave it with the cashier in the checkout line.

He's decided to join me for dinner tonight. I prepare his favorite soup broth for him. He looks so happy, and I remember the old Kakarot who used to pester me all of the time about what we were going to eat for every meal of the day.

But tonight he's unusually clingy. He wraps his arms around my waist as I stir a huge pot on the stove. His warm breath tickles the back of my neck and he sucks on my earlobe. "Vegeta, I love you," he groans.

A flash of anger snaps inside of me. "Is it a man or a woman?" I ask.

Kakarot spins me around so he can look at me. He tilts his head in that innocent, cute way I grew to adore over the years. "Is who a man or a woman?"

"The person you've been fucking."

All of the color drains out of his face. "Huh?"

"I'm not stupid." I grab onto my soup ladle again. I need to occupy my hands or I'm going to wrap them around his neck and choke him. I've done it before, but never to him. "I know you're cheating on me."

"Ah, Vegeta…" Kakarot smiles, but his eyebrows furrow as if he's in pain. "It's not cheating."

I freeze. "So you admit you've been getting your dick wet."

He laughs and it's the most horrible thing I've heard in my life. "You make it sound so nasty! I just have some fun with my friend sometimes. But I still love you. You're still number one to me."

I grab both sides of my head. It's difficult for me to suppress the instinct to scream, but somehow I succeed in staying silent. "How is that not cheating?"

"We're not like humans, Veggie," Kakarot says, his voice now at a higher pitch as he calls me the cute nickname he gave me years ago. "Just because I sometimes do stuff with another person—"

"What kind of 'stuff' do you do together?"

Kakarot backs away from me while licking his bottom lip, a weary look now on his face. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this anymore, sweetie. I don't want you getting the wrong idea about how I feel. I'm still yours and I'll always be!"

"At least answer my first question. Is it a man or a woman?"

Kakarot looks away. "A woman."

I sob—loudly—for a minute straight. My wails fill the kitchen and I wonder how I'm even capable of making such an otherworldly noise. When I'm done, I wipe my nose clean with the back of my sleeve and continue cooking.

Kakarot hugs me again. It feels like a vice.

Why couldn't it have been a man? I can't compete with firm breasts or a wet pussy.

Weeks later, we get in bed for the night. Kakarot tries to have sex with me. I keep pushing him away and he thinks I'm teasing him.

"C'mere, sweetie," he coos, squeezing my ass with his large hands I once revered.

I shove him away. Hard. He nearly topples off the side of the bed. His bottom lip trembles. "What's wrong?" he asks.

I growl at him. "Do you wear a condom when you screw her?"

He rolls his eyes. "I thought we weren't going to talk about this anymore."

"No. You decided we weren't going to talk about it."

"You're starting to sound like Chi-Chi."

Livid, I bare my teeth at him like a wild animal. Kakarot had cheated on his wife with me years ago, but that was different. At the time I wasn't a side piece of ass like whoever this woman was. "Don't ever say that to me again, Kakarot. Or I'll kill you."

Exhausted, Kakarot rubs his hands across his face. "No, I don't use condoms when I'm with her."

The careless way he says it makes me want to throw up again. "If that's the case then I don't want you anywhere near me. I'm not going to catch something from your slut."

"She's not like that!" For the first time since I figured out he was sleeping around, Kakarot yells at me. And it's to defend his new lover. I drown out every word he says because I now know he doesn't possess an iota of respect for me anymore.

As the seasons change and Kakarot becomes more of a stranger to me, I contemplate different ways I could kill myself. But it's an awkward place for me to be. I'm not so far gone that I would actually go through with ending my own life. Even though Kakarot dishonors me daily with his unfaithfulness, I am still a warrior with enough conceit as to not take my own life.

At times like this I wish I were no longer a Saiyan. If I were a mere human I'd be free of the burden of carrying the pride of a dead race on my shoulders. Then, I could die.

Every day I go out and train by myself. When I push my body to its limits I don't think or feel much of anything at all. These days it's the safest place for me to exist.

"Please stop seeing her," I beg him, finally at my wits end.

Kakarot smiles at me. It's the umpteenth time he's broken my heart. "Veggie, it's not that serious. I thought I already explained this to you." He holds my hand and pulls me close. "Do you want to go on a vacation? I know I've been gone a lot lately, but I really want to make it up to you."

No. I say the word over and over and over again. Kakarot tries to get through to me, but he can't. I run to the bathroom and it's the first time he's seen me throw up in front of him. Well, ever since I became sober.

He says something that sounds like a genuine apology. Apparently he's surprised I'm reacting this way. Didn't he see me cry all of those months ago? Hasn't he noticed how miserable I've been? The weight I've lost? The ghostly pallor of my skin? I ignore him for the rest of the night, even though I hear him promise he won't see her anymore.

Despite the fact I was the one to beg him to stop, I don't believe him. I cry myself to sleep and he holds me tight. Long ago his embrace used to comfort me.

Today I go grocery shopping again.

For the first time in Kakarot's adult life, he's crying.

In our bedroom he holds me tight as we sit on the edge of the mattress. "Vegeta, I'm so sorry," he mumbles into my chest. His tears are a light rain against my shoulder blade. I can even hear them pitter patter against my skin.

"What's wrong?" I ask. I don't even know what to fear anymore.

"Earlier today she told me she's—" Kakarot can't get the words out of his mouth. He looks so pathetic with tears cascading down his cheeks. Has he no shame? I laugh to myself. Of course he doesn't.

Panic mars his beautiful features. "Why are you laughing?"

"Just tell me what the problem is," I say. It's hard for me to stifle my chuckles.

"She told me she's pregnant."

I inhale. Seconds later I chuckle even harder. I don't remember walking to the kitchen, but somehow I end up in front of the refrigerator. I pull open the door and grab a beer from the shelf. The action is so familiar to me it's as if I haven't been dry for years, and only yesterday I had a nice cold one to calm my nerves.

Kakarot is so shocked by the bottle in my hand that he immediately shuts up. I twist the top off. He reaches toward me to bat the beer out of my hand, but I dodge his grubby paws effortlessly. Since we haven't sparred in months, I'm sure he thinks I'm now too stupid and slow to anticipate his every move.

"I'm sorry," he says again. He rattles off a list of promises, but I don't hear them.

I raise my drink in the air. "Cheers to you, Kakarot. For becoming a father for the third time."

"Please don't do this, Vegeta."

My first sip of alcohol after years of self-discipline is better than sex. It's cheap beer because I grabbed the first thing I saw on the shelf when I last went to the store. But it might as well have been sweet vermouth—I down it in seconds. In that heavenly moment I regret ever giving up drinking. What was I thinking? Who was I trying to impress all of those years?

It's not a lot of alcohol, but it's enough to make me eager to hit Kakarot. He's crying again, and I mock him for being such a coward that he can't handle the consequences of his actions. I pummel him with a series of punches square in his chest. He doesn't block me, but upon impact of my fists he only reacts with subtle twitches. He absorbs my rage well because he's a Saiyan.

I can't hurt him. That is…incredibly annoying. Infuriating, even. When I used to get drunk and hit Bulma it was much more rewarding. While married, I got it down to such a perfect science that I calculated exactly how hard to punch her so that she'd shut-up but still stay standing on her own two feet.

But for Kakarot, I give him everything I've got. I ascend to Super Saiyan. He still won't go down. No matter how hard I hit him. How typical.

The next time I'm cognizant of my surroundings, I realize I'm in the bathroom puking again. I wipe the moisture away from the corners of my mouth. Dazed, I reach for the bathroom door and jiggle the handle. It's locked.

Kakarot is so stupid. A lock can't keep me prisoner. A lock won't keep me away from him. But I realize how human the action is and I want to cry. I curl into a ball on the floor.

The cool tiles press against my hot skin and remind me that I am not as invincible as I would like to be.