Hey y'all,
This is my first fanfic ever, so hit me with all you've got. I mean it, be as mean as you like, I can take it, and I really wanna hear your thoughts.
Not a native English speaker. I don't own Lost Girl either. But I am grateful to this show, to its characters, and especially to Tamsin, for getting me to start writing again.
Thanks, and happy reading!
She had stopped looking in the mirror a while ago. She didn't need to anymore, she could put on that battered armor with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. She knew all the chinks and dents, the slash marks left by countless enemy swords and arrows, none too strong to pierce through the golden metal forged by gods.
Truth be told, she never expected to need the rusty old thing again. When Bo rose to power and united all clans of Fae, both dark and light, young and old, the Valkyrie sighed a sigh of relief and was ready to hang out her sword and armor for good. Ready to retire and drink herself into oblivion, to forget everything and everyone and slowly slip into nothingness. She did not want a quick death this time. This was her last death and she was going to enjoy it, cherish it and remember every second of it, to her final breath.
Well, that was until everything started to change. Thinking back, Tamsin still couldn't believe that two years before everything was still so… normal. Then the first signs started showing. Nothing big at first, just small mannerisms, a strange look on her face now and then, as if the Succubus had trouble understanding what was going on around her, then unnecessarily sharp retorts to her friends' comments – all of these slowly escalated until she was hardly recognizable anymore. To Tamsin, at least.
What's worse was that by the time the Valkyrie realized what was happening, it was already too late to do anything. At first, she just thought the changes in Bo's attitude were because of their trip to Valhalla to recover Kenzi and that she would eventually snap out of it and get back to her normal face-sucking self. A perilous journey to the farthest depths of Valhalla and back was bound to leave some marks, right? But it was more than that, Tamsin realized. It was like Bo was undergoing a slow transformation to become something else, to be reborn… as who? Or as what?
And then one day, right before Bo brought all the Fae factions to the same table to have them swear allegiance, Tamsin figured it out. Bo wouldn't need to demand fealty, she'd earn it, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
She had actually said as much back then. Bo sighed, the shadow of a smile creeping at the corners of her mouth. "Tamsin, I swear to God these Fae are sometimes worse than children. Always so stubborn, sometimes it's just better to tell them what to do instead of waiting around forever for them to figure it out. It's all for the best, you'll see."
The Valkyrie didn't say anything then. She just stared the succubus in the eye and what she saw there terrified her. It was still Bo, blue-eyed, wonderful, impossibly perfect Bo, but there was something else lurking behind, something that Tamsin couldn't pinpoint exactly, but reminded her of the father. The monster had found a way back to this world after all… and what was worse was that the Valkyrie was convinced it was her fault. Her fault for allowing Bo to accompany her on the quest to save Kenzi. Her fault for taking his money so long ago.
Tamsin didn't wait long to act. As soon as the Fae leaders convened in the large hall of what had been the Morrigan's favorite estate, she sought up some members of the elders' council that she still considered friends and tried to convince them of how wrong this was. Some of them listened, but most of them did not and turned her away, urging her to accept the new order, this new world of peace, prosperity and coexistence with the human race.
"You're wrong, and I hope you won't be alive long enough to see it," she would say simply in return and walk away. Eventually she took her claim to the Blood King. Dyson was there, forever loyal to the one and only bloodline that had just united all things Fae. They were celebrating. Luckily, Bo was nowhere in sight, but the two humans that never left her side were: Kenzi and the doctor. Both of them had changed a lot over the past year, like they were carrying a heavy, invisible burden all the time and couldn't really breathe or lift their heads or they'd be instantly crushed. That's why she actually thought they'd believe her and support her in stopping Bo and getting her back to her senses.
"You're wrong, Tamsin, and I hope you will be able to see it one day," Lauren told her, echoing her own words. Kenzi just nodded in approval and added, only half convinced, "Tam-Tam, honey, you know this is all for the best, right? Finally, some friggin' peace around here!" The words cut through her like a sharp blade, leaving her emotionally bloodied and on the brink of despair, but she didn't show it. She never did. No matter how much those two humans meant to her.
In the months they worked together to find a way of getting Kenzi back, she had grown quite fond of Lauren. Their relationship was still strained, but they had become used to being around each other and gradually relaxed into a friendship of sorts. If she had to be entirely honest, the Valkyrie found herself increasingly drawn to the human doctor, especially after she started noticing the changes in Bo's behavior, but she never said or did anything to let Lauren know, and she watched in silence how the object of her infatuation only had eyes for her precious Succubus. And Kenzi was family – hell, she had practically raised her after her rebirth, but she was never going to leave Bo's side. How could she? How could anyone even dream to leave when they were under the protection of the world's mightiest Fae?
So their reaction did not really come as a surprise to Tamsin, but the searing pain it caused did. She shouldn't have cared so much. Trick and Dyson dismissed her quickly and suggested she take a nap to sleep off her drunkenness and clear her head. They laughed out loudly and reassuringly. She wasn't drunk, but she left anyway. She got in her truck and drove as fast and far as she could, making only a brief stop at the crackshack to get her armor and weapons. She would be ready when the time came.
And today was the day, it seemed. As she finished tightening up her armor, she remembered how surprised she was to see Trick in front of her motel door one evening. He was with five or six other Fae she only knew vaguely.
"You sure as fuck took your time, old man," she said, urging them inside. And that was the beginning of their resistance. Trick was the only one of the old gang who realized what his granddaughter was becoming. He had first tried talking some sense into her, then cast a spell or two and even tried to feed her strange potions he prepared himself – nothing worked. The Succubus was just about to throw him in a dungeon, when he narrowly escaped along with a handful of former Light Fae who had sat on the council. Dyson remained by Bo's side, as did Lauren and Kenzi.
The rebels were able to put together a pretty good army, Tamsin thought, and she worked day and night to train them. No match for Bo's impressive numbers, but still, they'd have a decent fighting chance. For a while, they adopted guerilla warfare techniques and dealt some serious damage to strategic objectives for the new Fae leader. Trick explained that most of the key positions in Bo's rule went to former prominent Dark Fae. The few Light members who had become trusted advisors to the succubus had to abandon their ways and join the Dark in habits and attitude, albeit without any official pledge.
"She isn't uniting the Fae, she's turning all of them Darker than they ever were before," the Blood King told Tamsin. "You were right from the start and now it may be too late to stop her." Tamsin just smiled and patted him on his back. "We'll figure something out, barkeep, we have to. No way I'm letting that succuslut turn this into the friggin' Faepocalypse or something. Not without me riding a pale horse all over her dark bullshit," she grinned.
Today was the first time they'd engage in open combat after dozens of scuffles and smaller fights over the past few months. Nobody had claimed victory after those skirmishes, so open confrontation remained the only way to settle this once and for all, Tamsin told herself. Today she would lead the frayed resistance into battle against a much bigger, much more dangerous foe. She was pretty sure she was going on a suicide mission, but she hoped to at least be able to get to Bo before dying. She had insisted that Trick and some of the elders leave as far away from the battlefield as possible and continue researching ways to turn Bo back to her old self in case the Succubus won the war. Which was a very distinct possibility.
Tamsin didn't actually think getting Bo back was possible anymore, but she wanted Trick to live. He'd lost a hand in a previous fight and he was getting more depressed and more desperate by the second, ready to give his life to the first enemy soldier he'd encounter. But Tamsin obstinately refused to allow him to tag along.
"Someone has to make it out of this mess, Trick. And you're the brains in the equation, you owe it to Bo and all the fucking Fae to figure this out, okay?" He nodded and shook her hand, looking down. "I'm sorry for not believing you sooner, Valkyrie. It has been an honor to be by your side." "Same here, old man. Now get going before I change my mind and throw you in with the first line of attack!" She had always hated goodbyes and for good reason, she was absolutely horrible at them.
Trick and his group left shortly after midnight. The battle was set to begin at first light, which was what Tamsin was contemplating now on her white horse, clad in her old armor and clutching the hilt of her sword like it was the end of the world. Her army was right behind her, lined up among the trees on the ridge. On the opposite ridge above the deep ravine, the enemy was putting on an impressive display, keeping their lines tight, their brand new armor shining brightly as the first light of morning fell upon them. They started chanting something unintelligible, but in an unnerving rhythm.
She rolled her eyes and turned to the soldier on her left. He was considerably shorter, a bit chubby and had a geek vibe going. His armor was old, she could tell, but it had hardly been used.
"Remind me why the fuck did we go full on medieval for this thing?" she asked, never taking her eyes off the enemy.
"Less conspicuous, apparently. Easier to keep away from nosy humans than a bunch of supernatural beings firing automatics and bazookas at each other, I guess. Publicized as the 3rd edition of the International LARPing Convention."
She turned her head and cocked an eyebrow inquisitively. "It's pretty ingenious actually, come to think of it. LARPing is…" the man went on but was quickly interrupted.
"Dude, I know what LARPing is. It's just that I honestly didn't expect anyone to give a shit about appearances anymore, yaknow…"
The soldier nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it… Well, the irony doesn't elude me," he smiled. "See, it's a bit of a hobby of mine," he smiled apologetically. "LARPing, that is. All the dressing up, pretending you're someone you're not anymore…" his voice trailed off.
She took a closer look at the man, she didn't know what kind of Fae he was, and she honestly didn't care. She didn't even know why she was wasting her time talking to him, but as she watched him trying to saddle his horse and being terribly bad at it, she realized the man was absolutely terrified. He was experiencing a kind of terror he had never felt before and he'd been around for centuries.
She felt a sudden urge to tell him everything would be okay, that everything would be over soon and he'd be alive but she couldn't. She saw his death so clearly, to the tiniest detail, lifeless eyes facing the ground, blood trickling from his mouth. She couldn't lie to him, but what she could do was make him fearless.
"Hey, watch your back out there, 'kay?" The man turned and looked the Valkyrie in her bright green eyes and all of a sudden it felt as if the weight of the entire world was taken off his chest. He nodded, smiling. "You too, commander."
She grinned at him, as she pulled his fear and terror toward her by an invisible thread, owning it and allowing it to become part of herself and blend with her own sense of dread and doom. Fuck this shit, she decided.
She turned her head to the enemy lines once again, searching, but what she was looking for wasn't there. She spotted Dyson in a commanding officer's armor, talking with another soldier or possibly his second in command. Their eyes met briefly, or at least she thought they did, as he saw him nod curtly and she surprised herself returning the gesture. So he was the one she'd go up against, not Bo. While she entertained the idea of kicking the wolf boy's butt for eternity, she needed him alive for her plan to work. She made up her mind on the spot, as a sharp sense of clarity washed over her, comforting her and dispelling any doubt.
"Yo, listen up!" She called the troops to attention. They all turned their heads to face her, their hands already tight around their weapons. "I've given too many speeches before battle to have the patience for another one. But know that this right here, today, is possibly the most important war we ever fought. The most important war humanity has ever fought."
All the soldiers were silent, waiting for her to go on.
"Y'all know that epic battle scene in The Two Towers, where they're riding down the hill to join the Battle of Helm's Deep? And everybody's relieved and shit cuz the White Wizard's saving the day?" Some soldiers nodded, others murmured in approval. Tamsin smiled, satisfied. "Well, it's gonna be nothing like that today!" she grinned as some troops started laughing. "Although I was told I look like Gandalf in a certain light after a really, really bad hangover."
More laughter followed, and she gave it a few seconds to die down before going on: "I guess what I'm trying to say is that today nothing matters. Or none of that complete bullshit we were told matters over the years. When we reach the bottom of this ravine, we will not exist anymore. There'll only be blood and death. And you won't think, you'll just fight and kick and bite and scream. You won't be you anymore. We'll all be just raw, primeval weapons strummed to perfection, with only one goal: TO KICK THEIR SCRAWNY BUTTS," she roared and her army followed suit almost instantly, cheering and yelling, weapons already drawn, raised high above their heads.
She turned to face the enemy once more and saw they were already on the move. Without second thoughts, she sounded the attack and charged with everything she had, her troops close behind. Before noon, half of them would be already dead, she knew.