Take Me or Leave Me
Ummm…yeah, I don`t know how this came about. I guess because my friend and I were talking about our favorite musicals and I said, "Well, my top three favs are Spamalot, a musical about King Arthur fighting off killer rabbits and dancing with showgirls, Rent, a show about a bunch of homeless, jobless people dying of AIDS, and Cats, a show about a bunch of people dressing up in unitards and going around a stage pretending to be cats." And then we started talking about combing them in fanfiction. Because I have yet to figure out how I would cross over Cats and Spamalot (will take any and all suggestions on that!), I decided to do a Rent/Cats crossover-fic of sorts.
Is it a crossover? No. Is it a song-fic? A bit. I though it would be hilarious to use the lyrics of one of my personal favorite songs from the musical, "Take Me or Leave Me", into a dialogue with the couple who remind me the most of Joann and Maureen- who else?- Tugger and Bomba!
This fic was written just for kicks and giggles on my parts, so it`s probably not some of my best work. But, I thought some Rent and Cats fan would get a kick out of this. So, if you enjoy either musical- be sure to leave a review!
Rated T for some language and Tugger and slight OOC-ness, maybe? Also, I think you know very well I don`t own Rent or Cats, especially the lyrics to "Take Me or Leave Me" (which I modified as best I could to fit a conversation-formant). Those both belong to the great and all powerful Andrew Lloyd Webber and Jonathan Larson, may he rest in peace.
Many great and miraculous things happened to the Jellicles. After all, every year, they did have a cat taken to the Heaviside layer. But if there was argument over what was the most miraculous thing to happen to the junkyard, all the cats could agree: Tugger finally deciding to settle down and commit to Bombalurina had to the miracle of miracles.
The promiscuous play-tom was well known for flirting with almost every cat that pleased his eye and to come in contact with. Of course, his gratuitous habits with the queens and toms were especially with his on and off queenfriend. Many of the times she dumped him, it was because that he was flirting with (insert cat`s name here) and not being faithful to her. Not that she had always been entirely faithful, particularly in her younger years, but Bomba had grown up and was starting to realize that she didn`t want to sleep around from tom to tom for the rest of her life like the infamous Grizabella, but she wanted a solid, reliable mate to be with, to have control.
Who she wanted though, hadn`t come to that realization, or so she thought. Tugger was still as promiscuous and flirty as ever, sauntering around the junkyard with his usually sexful swagger. He couldn`t be less interested in settling down permanently with Bombalurina; commitment wasn`t his style.
Heaviside, did Bomba love Tugger. She loved him to most a queen could ever love a tom and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But if he couldn`t agree to being more serious about their relationship, all she could do was leave him for the last time and find someone who understood her.
She was just about to tell the Rum Tum Tugger that it was over between them. They had been in a particularly heated argument over- what else?- Tugger`s flirting with Exotica.
And then he asked, "What do you want from me Bomba?"
And that`s when she said, "Commitment. I want us to be together, to be mates."
Surprisingly, the tom laughed and said, "That`s all?"
Thus, the miracle of miracles happened: the Rum Tum Tugger asked Bomba to be his mate.
Word got out really quickly, through a wildfire reaction. Of course, very shortly after, Bomba had sprinted to her sister, Demeter and told her the wonderful news. And of course, Munkustrap overheard and told Alonzo, who told Cassandra, who told Jellylorum, who told Jennyanydots, who told everyone else. So within a short amount of time, everyone was talking about it- they couldn`t stop talking about that for that matter. When the Jellicles had great and surprising news, Bast did they like to talk about it.
And, of course, there was celebration held of the happy couple. When the unbelievable and extraordinary happened in the junkyard, the Jellicles liked to celebrate it under the light of the moon. The whole tribe showed up for the event- even Bustopher Jones, who uncharacteristically missed dinner with his pals at Blimp`s to witness such an event and Gus managed to be strong enough to make it to the party, propelled by the energy given by hearing the wonderful news.
The whole Jellicle tribe was gathering in the clearing. Even if the event was held in their honor, the couple had been split up, bombarded with questions by everyone who could grab their attention. What would the dance be like? Whose den would they move in together? Any chance of kittens in the future? Tugger and Bomba answered them the best they could.
Bomba felt light, happy. This night was amazing, filling her with such a happy rush. Second to the moment when Tugger had proposed to her, this had to be the best night of her life!
But her happiness was dampened when she saw what she never wanted to see ever again: Tugger, talking with Exotica. She had been talking to Munkustrap and Alonzo, expressing her happiness, when she caught the pair from the corner of her eye. She watch him mutely laugh at something the Abbassyian queen said, and then his paws caressed the queens sleek, slender shape.
Bomba had had it with the Rum Tum Tugger.
"Would you excuse me for a moment?" She pardoned herself from the Jellicle Protector and Guardian. She stomped over to her soon-to-be-mate and yanked him away from Exotica.
"Oh hey, baby!" Tugger purred, leaning over to gently lick his queenfriend`s cheek. She pulled herself away from him.
"Wow, touchy," the tom commented, taken aback by the queen`s spiteful manner. "What`s the matter?"
"What`s the matter?!" Bombalurina exclaimed, growing even angrier than she was at Tugger`s oblivious and way-too-innocent nature. "What`s the matter?! Tugger, you were flirting with the Exotica!"
"What? Ah, no, we were just talkin' about you," Tugger claimed. "Exotica was just suggesting something for our Mating Dance. She said-"
"Don`t try to hide it Tugger! You were flirting with her and she was flirting with you!" Bomba seethed, perhaps a little too loudly. All the other Jellicles around them whipped their heads around to look at the feuding couple. Some couldn`t believe it- but most likely, the majority of them expected it.
"Oh, Bomba." Tugger shook his head and sighed. It seemed like he had given up trying to mask his attempt as seducing another queen at a party for he and his queenfriend. "You know, every single day I walk through the junkyard, I hear cats say, 'Baby, so sweet'." The Maine Coon casted a look to Etcetera, president of his fan-club, who was standing, eyes wide with bewilderment.
When Tugger and Bomba announced their mate-hood, she had gone into a mope for a while. Now, with the couple feuding once again, she was eager to see if this was her chance to swoop in to comfort the Rum Tum Tugger.
Tugger continued. "Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me. Queens, Toms- you know I can't help it, Bomba."
"You could-"Bomba heatedly tried to interject, but was stopped from continuing by her future-mate.
"Don't lose your mind over something you can`t change," Tugger advised her, fluffing a paw through his luscious and thick mane-his claim to beauty. "Just remember that I'm your baby. But you have take me for what I am-who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn- you should just take me baby or leave me." The tom threw up his paws defensively.
Bomba glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn`t wanted to get into a massive fight in the middle of the party, but they had already reached their point. She figured that the only way to fix it was to keep quiet.
Tugger sighed, thinking that he wasn`t getting his point across to Bombalurina. "You know, tiger in a cage can never see the sun, Bomba. And I need my stage."
"An attention-whore is what you are," was what Bomba almost said, but, still determined not to explode in the tom`s face, looked the other way.
What was even worse was that every Jellicle had their eyes pasted to the feuding tom and queen. It was like watching a train-wreck; they couldn`t look away, baffled. Part of her just wanted to walk away. But she never did.
"Baby, you know we always have fun," Tugger said, perhaps a little too suggestive for the moment, as there were listening-kits in the area. But what was Tugger without being overtly suggestive? "Bomba, you're the one I choose to be with. Cats would kill to be in your position. And, I know you love the limelight too!"
Tugger had pointed out one true fact to: she was a fan of being the center of attention. She was just as guilty of that as her future-mate. As much as? Everlasting, no! But- yeah, she was in love with the limelight.
"So be mine and don't waste my precious time," Tugger told her. "Don`t keep crying out to me. 'Oh, honey bear, are you still my baby?'"
"Don't you dare!" Bomba seethed. She couldn`t have held it back much longer, the backlash. What Tugger was saying in public, to the witnessing eyes of their fellow Jellicles, was down-right embarrassing!
"Part of the problem is you not being supportive of me," Tugger resumed, just as cool, just as calm as he was, despite Bomba's outburst. " Like I said before, no way, can I be what I'm not. That is- outstandingly handsome. But hey, don't you want your tom hot? "Tugger swiveled his pelvis, his trademark, just to prove his point. " Don`t fight it, don't lose your head over it. 'Cause every night, who's in your den?
Who? Who's in your bed?"
By that time, he had sauntered up to her and tried to pull her closer into an embrace. The Tugger puckered his lips and demanded, "Kiss, pookie."
In revulsion, the queen pushed herself away from the tom. She was fed up with the little games he played with her head.
This whole ordeal was like an earthquake. Tension had been building and building inside of her and now it was finally being released. Bast, did she have a lot to say to the tom!
"It won't work anymore, Tugger," Bomba said. It was true. Accepting this and falling over him all over again, in a continuous cycle of fighting and loving, was something she wanted to be over with. She had learned a lot from Grizabella`s brief return to the junkyard.
She tried to summarize what she had learn to the tom, hoping he`d pick up on it. "I try to look before I leave now. I`ve learned to love margins and discipline when it comes to things like this. Baby, what's my sin about this, Tugger? I never quit, I try to follow through with whom I love. I hate a mess with relationships but I love you. What am I going to do with you, Tugger? What am I going to do about and your impromptu affairs?"
She gave a heavy sigh before continuing. "So be wise about me. Because this queen can satisfy. "Frankly, she didn`t give a damn about keeping it clean for the younger kits anymore and the fact that they were in the presence of the Jellicle Leader. This was between her and Tugger. "You've got a prize who is sick and tired of compromising for you. I don`t think you realize your one lucky tom. So, you have to take me for what I am!"
Tugger scoffed and rolled his eyes. "A control freak!"
"Who I was meant to be!"
"A snob, yet over-attentive!"
"And if you give a damn about us, take me baby or leave me, Tugger!"
Seeing Tugger`s appalled expression was what did it. "That's it! That`s the straw that breaks my back!" She yelled, flaying her arms up as she turned her back on him, prepared to leave. "I quit, unless you take it back what you said!
"Bomba-" Tugger began and the groaned. He leaned over to Mistoffelees, his best friend who had been standing extremely close to him. "Queens, what is it about them?" The Maine Coon mused to the tux with a chuckle. "You can't live with them or without them!"
Although, Tugger didn`t get the laugh from that comment from his best friend like he had hoped he would have. He certainly didn`t get a laugh from Bombalurina, who wasn`t even supposed to over-hear that comment.
"Guess I'm leaving!" She yelled. "I'm gone!"
And with that the queen stormed off in rage from the party held in her honor that was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
Whether it was supposed to be joyous or not didn`t seem to matter to anyone. Too stunned to anything, the entire Jellicle clan just stood there, unable to make out what had happened.
But leave it to Electra to break the still silence over the junkyard. She had crawled up to Tugger and said, in a sweet, honest, and way-too innocent voice that was sing-songy, "I guess that means I can spend more time with you."
Tugger, unable to respond, didn`t say anything. It was Misto who said exactly what was on his mind.
The tuxedo just shook his head and murmured, "Wow."
EL FIN.