Regina stands in front of the mirror as she works to perfect the deep blood red of her lips. In the world without magic, she finds herself growing more concerned with what the looking glass shows. Once again, she finds herself slipping back into the habit of confiding in the mirror. It is not the same as it once was, as it is only her own face in the reflection, but it is comforting to speak out loud.

"Get yourself together."

This is almost a whisper, fiercely fueled by the frustration of wanting what she cannot have. Tonight, she is going to see the one woman who knocks everything off-kilter. This is why her make up must be the image of perfection. She moves the black kohl eyeliner across her lid in a calculated movement. As she reaches the winged point where the blackness juts further than the white of her eye, her phone vibrates.

The sudden interruption illuminates the part of Regina that is tuned into thoughts of a certain blonde. Her wrist shakes in reaction to this and the black line along her eye becomes choppy and thicker than she intended. As she realizes that the message is from Belle, coordinating the night's festivities, she slams her hand down to the bathroom counter.

"Of course." She laughs darkly to herself. "Of course it's Belle. Why the hell would Emma bother messaging me?"

In a moment of desolation, she throws the eyeliner at the mirror. It leaves a black smudge running vertical down her reflected face. Drinking in the sight, she realizes that her botched kohl lines are reminiscent of the pirate that Emma loves so deeply. Rage bubbles in her stomach and she feels sickened at how much this affects her. She built a kingdom with only her two hands and fury, a comfortable emotive state that was productive and left her less vulnerable. Love is for the weak.

"I'm weak."

She mumbles this, before resigning herself to clean the mark stretching across the mirror's surface. It is a strange thought and saying it out loud feels foreign. Glancing at her reflection again, Regina considers the thick kohl line before liberally applying the same treatment to the other eye. Would Emma like her better like this? Hook wears this look and she loves him.

"What am I doing?"

Her eyes shine with the moisture suggesting the onslaught of tears and she blinks quickly before looking up to the roof. Willing away the weakness of crying, she clenches her teeth together. While she has cast curses and hexes on many throughout her reign, this love is the cruelest thing she can imagine. It twists in her stomach and lurks in her mind. Regina would not wish this on anyone, except maybe Snow.

Realizing the futility of the entire thing, she removes the eyeliner. Then, she lingers with her face in her hands. Why would she even consider mimicking the pirate? Emma will not return her feelings regardless of what she wears on her face. The notion that she might is something Regina is embarrassed to admit that she considered. This is not her.

"Get it together, Regina."

She sets to work spinning her image to perfection. Reeling from the ridiculousness of her desire to emulate Hook's style, she opts for a very fine outline of her eyes before flicking her eyelashes with the mascara brush.

When she is finished, she looks like the strong and confident woman who runs the town. The only visible evidence of her ailment is buried deep within her eyes. She has never noticed this sadness before, but it is undeniable.

Glancing down at her phone, she reads the latest message from Belle. The first thing that catches her eye is Emma's name. The two women are already at the small bar on the edge of town. It is a dive bar that features karaoke on Saturday nights. With Henry safe with his grandparents, she is free to join the others in carefree drinking. While she knows that getting too drunk around Emma is a bad idea, lest she implode into a series of poorly connected words confessing things that should never be said, it is hard to be around the woman without needing a large glass of red wine. Alcohol is often called liquid courage, but Regina just prays for solace from the crushing weight of her unrequited feelings.

Taking one last long look in the mirror, she plays self-consciously with her hair. She needs to look sexy enough to hide her true thoughts and also on the chance that Emma notices. She wants to be ready if the day ever comes. What if Emma were to get a little too drunk and kiss her, as she has done on occasions in the past? She longs to revisit those times before her heart yearned for something more. Back when the kisses were innocent drunken exchanges between friends it had been so simple.

If Emma were to kiss her tonight, Regina would have to stop her. She knows that Emma Swan is in love with the pirate and that any affection toward her would mean nothing to her. It is unfair to both of them. Regina imagines having to walk away from the blonde woman's lips and frowns as she realizes how badly she would want to stay. That is the reason that she cannot though.

She loves Emma too much to wantonly kiss her amidst a drunken karaoke outing. She loves Emma too much to put her in that situation. She loves Emma too much to even consider broaching the subject of her affections.

She loves Emma too much.