Lessons to be Learned
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Titanic characters. They are copyright their respective owners and to history. All non-Titanic characters are mine and made by me. I make no money off this piece of fan fiction. It is written for entertainment purposes only.
Prologue
On board the Carpathia I thought I was tucked away in some little corner of the ship where no one would find me. I couldn't be sure where exactly I was hidden away but it was good enough for me. It was a quiet little area of the ship where I could be alone with my thoughts.
My superior officer, second officer Charles Lightoller, had comforted me when I wept against his shoulder. God bless him for it…yet part of me still felt hollow. I still felt as if something—anything—could have been done to save more passengers.
Earlier I had heard someone remark that there would be a movie made about Titanic's sinking in no time at all! The idea angered me but I couldn't explain why. People trying to make money off the disaster when the bodies weren't even cold yet!
I pulled my knees against my chest and hugged them. My back began to ache from being hunched over for so long but I paid it no mind.
I felt myself staring off into the distance for I don't know how long. I could hear the sound of footsteps but ignored them until a human body stood in front of me. Glancing up I could see the face of a stewardess looking down at me. My brain did not want to make connections right away and it took me a few seconds to recognize her as that Irish stewardess, Mayda O'Brian. She forced a pleasant smile at me before crouching down and handing me a thick mug.
My hands stretched out to push it away, "Keep it for yourself."
"The other officers were askin' about ye," Miss O'Brian said softly.
"You mean the surviving officers."
"I know it hurts but what ye did by goin' back was very brave an' noble."
I sighed. "Why couldn't I save more people? Maybe if I had gone back sooner I could've—" I could feel my voice crack as once again tears stung my eyes, "There were children in the water! Children and babies! And—and I couldn't save them!"
"Yer not God, Mister Lowe."
"I should've gone back sooner."
"Ye can't blame yerself."
I knew Miss O'Brian was only trying to help me but when she said that I felt myself become angry. "Then who can I blame?" I demanded. "The iceberg? White Star Line? Ismay for pushing that we speed up to surprise everyone in New York? Who, Miss O'Brian? Who?"
She recoiled, looking stung and hurt by my words. Immediately I regretted what I had said. She was no different from me; we both had witnessed such tragedy and loss of life. Damn my temper!
"Forgive me, I'm sorry," I quickly said. "I shouldn't have snapped like that. It's...I wish there was something I could do to change things."
Miss O'Brian reached out to touch my arm when she suddenly froze. She literally froze in place and did not move! What sort of devilry was this?
"Miss O'Brian?" I said while waving my hand in front of her face.
No response.
"Miss O'Brian?"
"Don't worry, she's fine as is everybody else," a voice that I did not recognize said.
"Who are you and what have you done?" I demanded of this strange person who walked out of the shadows. He was a tall man with a crop of dark hair that sprouted from his head. He was a handsome fellow and spoke with an accent that I did not recognize. His clothing made me think of him as a steerage passenger but there was no way I could be certain about that. I wasn't certain about anything considering he just made the world stand still!
The stranger ignored my question. "I hear you want to go back in time and change the events of Titanic?"
"What do you want?" I asked.
"I can make what you want come true, give you a second chance at saving everyone."
"You can't turn back time!"
"There is much more to this world than you can possibly understand Harold Godfrey Lowe." Reaching out the stranger grabbed me under the chin and forced my head up so I would look at him. Feeling his touch was nothing like I had ever felt before. I could not explain it but I felt paralyzed under his gaze. "You have a noble heart but much to learn Harold Lowe. I can make it so that you have your second chance to save the Titanic but I cannot guarantee anything will be different. That is the beauty and curse of free will."
"What are you?" I asked him despite still being in his grasp.
"Something from the other side that you never imagined possible. I am also not like what you think we are like but we love you none the less. You men have a great deal to learn about how the world works. Just because you cannot see it, cannot touch it, and cannot control it does not mean that it isn't real. You'll remember but no one else will."
The stranger removed my cap and bent in. He pressed his lips against my forehead and that was all I could remember as my world went dark.