I can feel the pain, the hurt and the anger.
I feed off it.
It fuels my day, my week, and my life.
It festers and grows into something I can't recognise,
It fills my soul and heart, I can't breathe.
It follows after me in the night. In my dreams, and when I'm awake.
It's always there, threatening me. Teasing me.
I want to embrace it.
And I want to discard it, pretend it doesn't exist.
A storm is brewing inside me.
I can't control it.
And I don't want to.
Lips crack as they grin. It has me in its grip now.
Am I hapless victim? No.
Am I a victim? No.
But I'm not what I was before.
I'm no longer myself.
I'm now so much more.