"Desert"
'Nother FenrisxLoki fic with some HajatuxTaulin hintings Set in the far, far future.
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"Understand this from the start: our paths cross, but our goals are not the same." Loki's words were ringing in his ears now, words he had uttered so long ago. Why did they come back to him now? What was this feeling? Why did he keep looking at Fenris? Was it regret? He'd never known regret before, why would he feel it now? Hadn't he been the one to say that he would travel with them as long as their paths were the same? My path takes me away from them now. That is the way it is. Chaos was saying something, useless words. Something pointlessly futile, "...Well, what I mean to say Loki is, are you sure you want to go? We could use you...you'd be a big help to us." Loki stared impassively at the knight,
"My mind is made up. I must leave you now. I told you before, I follow you as long as we share the same path." Chaos sighed and held up his hands for a moment in a 'what-can-you-do?' sort of gesture.
"Your call Loki, perhaps fate will have us meet again." Loki responded with the barest trace of cold sarcasm in his voice,
"Weren't you going to throw destiny out on its ear?" Chaos laughed at that and stepped aside so someone else could say their farewells to him. Iris timidly walked up. She murmured a soft "Goodbye" to him then went to stand next to Chaos, hanging off his arm.
Suddenly Loki was facing Fenris, he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. He shut his mouth quickly, hoping no one would have noticed. Fenris seemed to feel as awkward as he did. She searched for something adequate to say. His feelings intensified, conflicting emotions churned in the pit of his stomach. Why couldn't he think of anything to say? What did he want to say to her, and why? He'd never questioned himself or his motives so much in his life. He'd never needed to. Everything up until this point had been about duty and the guild. He had never needed to think like this, the elder guild members had always taken care of those things. He just carried out orders. Fenris finally spoke softly,
"Well, I guess this is it then," She tried to smile a little, "I, I don't suppose we'll see each other again anytime soon." The assassin found himself hanging on her every word. He heard himself answer back as though from far away,
"...No. Most likely not." He locked his eyes with the warlock's staring deeply into her eyes. It pained him to see them filled with such sadness, more so that he knew he was causing it. She was speaking,
"I shall miss you Loki...you ..you have been a good friend." He blinked, taken aback by the sudden use of the word. Friend? She...she considers me a friend? He tried out the word, unsure of what to think,
"Friend..?" She gave a light chuckle,
"Of course Loki, you're more than just a comrade to us, or an assassin...you're our friend." He stared at her amazed. I...have never...been called...a 'friend.' He shook his head slightly bewildered by this sudden revelation,
"Fenris...I am...your friend?" She nodded her eyes shining a little with unshed tears,
"Yes, and don't you ever forget that Loki." She smiled a little, trying to mask her sadness, "Well...I guess this is really it then...'bye Loki." She turned to go. Loki's hand shot out and grabbed her by the arm stopping her,
"Wait Fenris!" She stopped looking like a deer frozen in its tracks.
"Y-yes?" Loki made a slight noise as he tried to say something, what it was he was trying to say even he didn't know. He let her arm go, shaking his head.
"....It is nothing. I am sorry. Goodbye Fenris." It hurt. Why did it hurt to say goodbye to her? She nodded and whispered again,
"Goodbye..." He turned, unable to bear looking at her any longer for fear of making it worse. She backed away slowly, then turned around. Loki heard her speak to the others "Well then, I guess we should be going..." The others chorused out their last farewells to the assassin, who merely stood stoic and silent.
Then they were gone, she was gone, and he was alone. Fenris, Loki said to himself, I...why does it hurt so? What..what have you done to me? He was utterly confused, lost, alone with no answer. Mechanically he took a step foreward, then another, and another, and yet another still. Soon he was moving smoothly again, in his normal, graceful glide. Despite the mysterious pain he was experiencing, he was looking forward to going home again. Hopefully the guild would have been at least partially re-established in his absence. Still, the journey was long and he was dreading the time ahead of him that would allow him to brood.
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Loki...you're always so silent, yet how is it that I can feel your absence just the same? I don't understand. Something whacked her on the shoulder. She looked up startled, it was Iris,
"Fenris are you deaf? We've been trying to ask you what's wrong for the last three minutes!" Despite her irritation the cleric did look concerned for her friend, as did Chaos. Fenris put a hand to her mouth for a moment,
"Oh, I-I see, I'm sorry. I am sorry to have made you both worried, but I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me." Iris raised a skeptive brow. Chaos frowned,
"Are you sure you're allright Fenris? You don't seem like yourself." Fenris nodded,
"I am fine, really." Iris tilted her head,
"No Chaos is right.. you sound different..." Fenris knitted her brows together in confusion,
"What do you mean? I do not understand." Chaos ventured forth his opinion,
"That, and well, you've been so quiet all afternoon. You've hardly said a word since we left Loki." Iris snapped her fingers,
"That's it!" Fenris stared at her uncomprehending,
"What is it?" Iris grinned a little and said slyly,
"You're talking like Loki does...when he does talk." Fenris starred at the girl, then looked to Chaos for explination. He shrugged, not understanding what Iris meant any more than she did.
"What do you mean Iris? How am I speaking like Loki?" Iris giggled a little,
"He never uses...whatdoyyacallem... contractions! Like 'I'm' and 'can't'" Fenris stared at her,
"Oh I am not..." Iris grinned broadly, Chaos looked away, trying not to chuckle. "This is--this is ridiculous! I am speaking in a perfectly normal manner! I do not understand what you mean!" Iris laughed outright,
"I think you've been around that assassin too long." Fenris snapped back,
"Well he is not here, so can we please stop slighting our friend behind his back?" The two stared at her, taken aback by her outburst. Chaos played the role of the mediator,
"Fenris..we weren't trying to slight him... or you...we're sorry. We were just having fun is all." Fenris crossed her arms and hastened onwards in a fast stroll,
"It doesn't matter let's just forget about the entire matter." The other two hurried after her.
"Fenris! Fenris wait!" Iris murmured to Chaos,
"At least she's started using contractions again..."
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Don't worry more comming--and soon!