I wasn't completely happy with this episode either. Steve really should had been by Danny's side at the hospital and I would have liked a little transition between that and the happy golf scene at the end. So I tried to fix it, I hope you enjoy it.
These ideas for codas won't leave me alone, so I will probably write one for episode 5x07 too and maybe some more, I need to get them out so I can think in something different!
Huge thank you to my lovely inspirator and beta reader Lynn Minoha, for everything. :)
I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed my first story, since I can't reply directly to the guests. Everyone has been very kind and it really encourages me to continue writing. Thank you! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, if I did we wouldn't need codas to fill the missing bromance!
He felt like he was paralyzed. A cold shiver roving through his back, the sound around him dissipating so he could just hear the sound of his heartbeat, too fast, too loud. The only other thing he could hear was resonating in his head, Amber's voice telling him that Danny had been stabbed, that she didn't know how bad it was. He had to go, he needed to move now, but he didn't seem to find a way of doing it, what the hell was wrong with him? He was a Navy SEAL for God's sake, trained to react in a second in the worst imaginable situations, but couldn't even move when his partner was injured out of his sight? Maybe he was losing his touch, but Danny's face appeared clearly in his head telling him that maybe it meant he was human and that was a good thing to know.
Danny's face suddenly disappeared as he felt himself being gently shaken and that made him snap out of his own world. Chin was staring at him with an urgent and concerned look.
"Steve, what's going on? Are you ok?"
Steve focused on Chin, quickly recovering his composure.
"That was Amber. Her ex-husband attacked her and stabbed Danny when he defended her, he's at Tripler and she doesn't know how bad it is." Steve rushed his explanation while Chin's eyes widened with shock. "I'm so sorry to ask you this Chin but I need you to wrap everything here and I'll call you as soon as I have any news."
"Sure brah, go, don't worry and watch your driving", he told him sternly, knowing Steve well enough to know he would turn on the police lights as soon as he got on the Silverado to speed to the hospital without having to worry about breaking traffic laws.
"Thanks brah, I'll call!" He was already running out of the room, barely aware of the questioning looks Kono and Grover shot at him as he passed by them. "Chin will explain it to you!", he shouted over his shoulder, running faster along the hotel corridor.
As Chin had predicted, Steve was going to beat a record on his ride to Tripler, but he didn't care. He was so worried he couldn't think straight. He hadn't liked it when Danny told him he wanted to go off the grid for this trip with Amber and he liked even less that he didn't tell him where they were going. But Danny had been distant lately, kind of sad and uncharacteristically quiet, so when he got a little angry at Steve's insistence, he backed off, thinking that maybe this was what Danny needed to return to normal. That maybe the break he needed was from Steve himself, because he just seemed to be adding more sorrow to his partner lately, instead of helping to relieve it. But that was a scary thought he couldn't face right now, he just wanted to be by his friend's side as soon as possible.
He arrived to the hospital and ran to Amber, but she barely got to start apologizing for not telling Danny about her ex-husband when the doctor came to tell them he was going to be alright. The huge relief Steve felt was tightening his chest and the similar emotion present on Amber's eyes made him hug her tightly. After all, this wasn't her fault, she was just as scared as himself of the idea of losing Danny.
And right then, when the panic passed and he could breath again, feeling the quivers from Amber's body, Steve started to feel like maybe he shouldn't rob her the privilege of being beside Danny's bed when he woke up, as much as he wanted to do that himself, because he really needed the reassurance that Danny was fine.
But Danny wanted these days off to have some space and be with Amber, and he wasn't going to deny him that by hovering over him now.
"Hey Amber, listen to me. Stop crying, none of this is your fault. And everything is okay now. You heard the doctor, Danny is going to be just fine", he cupped her head trying to calm her "and he's going to want to see you smile when he wakes up, ok?"
She gave him an unsure smile and nodded.
"You're not staying? I'm sure he will want to see you." She was speaking in a low voice, almost whispering and Steve wasn't sure if she didn't want to be alone or if she was a little scared that Danny would be mad at her. But he was sure his partner wouldn't be anything but worried for her. That's just who his partner was.
"Uhm, no, I eh…I'm going to help the guys wrap up the case, I kinda abandoned them back there, so…I'll be back later to see Danny but please call me if anything changes or if you need something, okay?"
Steve gave her another quick hug while she nodded and watched her going into Danny's room. After a few minutes standing there, he forced himself to move and go back to his car so he could return to the crime scene.
It took the team all day to close the case and tie all loose ends, so when they finished visitation hours had long passed, but they called Amber and she told them Danny was better and will probably be discharged the next day, with strict orders to rest at home at least for a week. Fortunately the knife had missed any vital organ but the wound still needed to heal properly. She also told them she was staying the night so they agreed to visit the next day.
Steve was tempted to text Danny several times that night, but again he decided against it, thinking his partner would be resting and enjoying Amber's company and care. But even that couldn't make disappear the thought that he should have been by his friend's side. He finally fell asleep feeling a little uneasy.
The next morning, after checking they didn't have any urgent case to tend, the team went to Tripler to find Danny having breakfast, alone and with a distant look on his eyes. But he brightened up when his team entered the room.
Grover was the first one to break the silence.
"So, let me get this right, you were tired to witness Steve being a trouble magnet and decided to become one yourself?" Grover was grinning from ear to ear, clearly relieved to see his teammate relatively unharmed. All of them were aware it could have ended much worse.
"Well you know what they say, if you can't beat them join them and all that", Danny had a half smile plastered on his face too "but I think I'll leave these kind of stunts to super SEAL from now on. Not really my thing."
Steve observed his team friendly banter, noticing Danny wasn't looking directly at him, also that his smile wasn't one of his genuine ones, the kind which reached his eyes. He seemed to be fine physically, but obviously something was still bothering him. Was it the fact of discovering that Amber had been hiding the truth from him? He supposed that had been a shock. Steve also wondered if his friend would open to him about it later, he really didn't seem in the mood for it, but he will at least try.
For now it seemed hard enough to get Danny's attention.
"So partner, are you feeling better? Are they going to discharge you today?" Danny looked directly at Steve for the first time since they entered the room.
"Yeah, the doctor said I can go today, I just have to come back in a week to have the stitches removed."
"And Amb…Melissa? Is she taking you home?" Steve was willing to let her take care of Danny if that was what he wanted, but the almost imperceptible flash of hurt in Danny's eyes didn't go unnoticed.
"No, ah… she went to give her statement to HPD, but I can wait for her to come back or catch a cab or something."
"What are you talking about? Of course not, I'll take you home, just let me find the doctor to get your discharge papers", he turned around and got off the room before Danny couldn't even reply.
The rest of the team exchanged questioning glances and silently decided to leave the duo alone to sort out whatever was going between them. Kono hugged him and they promised to visit him again tomorrow at home. They met with Steve on their way out and told him they were heading to work and that he should take care of Danny while they held down the fort.
Steve thanked them and went to help his friend get ready to go home. Danny accepted his help, his slow and controlled movements betraying the pain he didn't want to admit he was in. But he barely spoke to Steve on the way home and he didn't know what approach was the best one, push or back off? God Danny was right, he was a total mess at this.
Danny was entering his living room, Steve following him closely, when he finally decided to talk again.
"Thanks for the ride Steve, but you can go now. I'm fine."
"Buddy, you sure you're alright? I could make you some lunch or something, or just keep you company." Steve tried really hard not to sound like he was the one wanting –maybe needing – his best friend's company.
"No, no, really, I'm just gonna get some shut eye, okay? So no need to worry. I'll call you later. Bye." Danny just went to his bedroom, not waiting to check if his partner did as he was told.
Which Steve didn't do. Danny could say whatever he wanted, he wasn't going to leave him alone and injured. He would wait until Amber arrived just in case Danny needed something and if he didn't want to talk to him that was fine. He was still not leaving. Instead he got comfortable on the couch and let the tiredness claim him.
Until the sound of his voice being sternly pronounced brought him back.
"Steven."
"Uh huh?"
"I thought I told you to go home."
Steve blinked a couple of times and saw his partner standing in front of him, his right arm holding his injured side and an irritated expression on his face.
"I just…wanted to make sure I was here if you needed something. Didn't want to leave you alone."
"Oh really? Because that didn't seem to bother you before."
Steve almost flinched at the harsh tone.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve was waiting for an answer when realization hit him. "Wait, you… you are mad because I didn't wait in the hospital for you to wake up?"
"I'm not mad. I'm not anything. I just want you to go, I want to be alone!" Danny started to turn around and Steve reached to grab his arm.
"Danny, wait!"
"I told you to go!" Danny made a sharp move to free his arm from Steve's grip but suddenly froze before starting to bend over and hold his side more tightly than before. "Ah! Dammit!"
"Danny, what's wrong? Did you pull your stitches? Let me see, please!"
Danny allowed Steve to maneuver him to a sitting position and lift his shirt. Steve removed the gauze to discover the wound slightly bleeding through the stitches.
"Oh God I'm so sorry Danny, you're bleeding a little. At least you didn't pull any stitches. I shouldn't have grabbed you, I'm sorry." Steve's voice sounded so filled with guilt that Danny softened almost immediately.
"Hey, it's not your fault. I'm the one who pulled my arm, totally forgetting about the stupid wound. I guess the painkillers are doing their job just fine."
Steve relaxed a little at the change in his friend and smiled cautiously.
"Great, then I think it's time for another dose. Let me clean the wound and redress it and I'll get you the pills, okay?"
To his surprise, Danny didn't object when Steve pulled him to his feet and led him to the bathroom were he had the supplies to treat the wound. He sat Danny down on the toilet seat and knelt between his knees to have better access. Danny seemed relaxed while he worked, so Steve dared to bring the subject up again.
"Listen, Danny, I went to the hospital okay? I suppose you know. I just left because I thought you would want to see Amber… eh Melissa sorry, how should I call her anyway? Well, I thought you would want to see her when you woke up, you know sort some things out, spend time with her since your weekend was kinda cut short let's say… And also you told me you wanted to go off the grid, that you needed space and I felt at some point that you needed space from me too… I thought I was doing what you wanted. I'm sorry if I misunderstood you, it wasn't my intention to make you feel like I didn't care."
Steve lifted up his face to look at Danny for the first time since he started talking and he was looking down at him with a mix of fatigue and amusement.
"You know, babe, I never thought I'd see you rambling, but you look cute doing it. Yeah I said cute, maybe I shouldn't take any more painkillers just yet."
Steve chuckled at that but let Danny continue.
"Look, I'm not mad, okay? Forget I said anything. I just… I don't want to talk right now. I just want to sleep until next year. So, please, go home. I'll get some rest and call you tomorrow, I promise."
Steve didn't seem convinced to leave him alone but finally decided to respect his friend's wishes.
"Okay Danno. Let me finish here and get you comfortable, then I'll go."
When he made sure Danny took some pain meds and was safely tucked in bed, Steve went home fighting all the way the urge to come back to Danny's house and transform the living room into his personal base camp.
But he did as Danny told him and got home. After pacing around it like a caged animal, Steve decided to go for a run to burn off his frustration before heading to the headquarters. If the increasing amount of paperwork in his desk didn't distract him for a few hours, nothing would do.
And it did, for a while at least. But when he was home again at night, Steve couldn't resist sending a quick message to Danny, aiming for casual but suspecting he failed miserably. The sound of his phone buzzing never sounded so good to his ears and he couldn't help but smile when he read Danny's 'I told you I was fine, mom. Go to sleep' response.
They had the next day off, so Steve slept in more than he normally did, then got up and went for a long swim in the ocean, welcoming the burning sensation in his muscles as he went further and faster. When he got out of the water the sun was already shining brightly, so he just sat on the sand, letting the warm breeze dry his skin and enjoying the dance of the waves. The ocean always was a soothing view for him and he liked to just sit there and look at it when something was bothering him, because it helped him to find the calm and clarity to sort whatever trouble he was into. It was a habit that had started after his mom's 'death' and that he had maintained during all these years.
What was bothering him today was obviously his best friend and his recent behavior. Danny hadn't been acting like himself for a while now, well, Steve knew exactly since when. He tried to be there for him at this rough time the best he could, but it was clear Danny was mad at him. Or was he disappointed? Worried? It was hard for Steve to catalogue the hunted look he had been witnessing in his partner's eyes. But maybe he was to blame too.
Steve knew he would do anything for his best friend, risk his life a thousand times in order to save Danny's, after all that was nothing Danny hadn't done for him too, more than once. He was so grateful for all those times Danny was his light in the darkness and then his rock after all the ordeals life have put him through the last few years, that he could say thank you to Danny every single day for the rest of his life and it still wouldn't cover it.
The thing was he didn't do it. Sure, he had thanked him after the initial danger passed, feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed, but then retreated almost immediately to his own shell, his training in shutting emotions down for survival taking the reins of his behavior.
Steve knew Danny hated that, he wasn't oblivious enough to not notice the hurt in Danny's eyes when he tried to know how Steve was feeling – how he truly was feeling, not the automatic 'I'm fine' bullshit – just to be rewarded with a not so subtle change of subject.
So yeah, Danny was definitely sad and mad and Steve needed to take a great part of the blame. If he just knew how to make it up to him…
"So, I thought it was impossible to sneak around a SEAL without ending pinned down face first into the ground. I guess it was all a bluff, huh?"
Steve tensed and startled for a second until he recognized his partner's voice and the amused tone in it.
"I heard you miles ago. Identified the target and categorized it as non – threatening. That's why you're not eating sand right now. Should be thanking me, you know?"
"Yeah yeah, that's why I could count all the muscles in your back when I started talking. Feeling dreamy, babe?" Danny was closing the few steps between them now.
Babe. How much he missed that stupid word.
"Nah, you know, just… thinking about the last few years, how many things have happened to us." Steve looked up to his friend, who had reached him and was slowly sitting by his side, dressed in the kind of casual clothes he enjoyed so much watching him in. He always seemed to be more relaxed when he wore these clothes.
"Something in concrete?" Danny was looking Steve in the eye with that honest look, the one that silently asked him to open up, pushing without pushing, pleading him to no disappoint him again.
And Steve didn't intent to disappoint him this time.
"Nothing. Everything… Look Danny, I know you're mad at me, ok? I know you think I abandoned you at the hospital, after all the times you've been there for me and that you think that I don't care about you or myself or… why are you looking at me like that?" Steve couldn't understand the amused expression on Danny's face. What was so damn funny?
"What? I'm just enjoying hearing you spit more than five words on a row for a change. Even if you are completely wrong, by the way. But I was still enjoying it. Such a strange thing to happen." Danny was grinning now and waving his hands in that way he always did when he was very pleased with the words coming out of his mouth.
"I'm wrong?"
"Terribly wrong."
"But I thought…"
"That's the problem, buddy. Clearly not your thing."
Oh boy, he had missed this Danny.
"Then care to explain why you're mad at me?"
Danny got a little more serious and sighed, looking at the ocean.
"Look, Steve. I'm not mad at you. Well I've been mad at you, but not for the reasons you think and not just at you. I've been mad at everyone and everything for months now. Ever since…" Danny made a pause so long that Steve thought he wouldn't talk again "ever since Colombia, I've been feeling like shit for not stopping my brother when I had the chance, for not arriving in time to save him, for… everything. Then he died and I did exactly what I always try to dissuade you from doing. I hid in myself and pulled apart from everyone. I was mad at myself for that too."
"Hey Danno, I understand, it's difficult to…" Steve didn't manage to finish the sentence.
"But I don't want you to understand, Steve! I want you to deal with your emotions in a much healthier way, but what do I do the first time I can teach you with my example?"
"Danny, it's ok. Sometimes we can't help the way we act, but I think you've been dealing with all this the best you can and that's all you can do."
Danny looked at him for a few seconds before looking away again.
"Then Mister seven lives appeared again in all his glory and kidnapped you and… when I entered the room and realized what was going on I was mad at the world for putting you again into just another round of shit, but when I saw you, once again, acting like nothing ever happened… that's what really makes me mad, Steve.
"I'm sorry Danny. You know I'm not good at sharing my feelings, it doesn't come natural to me, but that doesn't mean I don't need and appreciate you being there, you know that, right?"
Steve waited until Danny looked at him again, sure that his eyes could convince his friend better than his words.
"I do, but you really should try the whole words thing, because it's pretty much healthier than dealing with mourning by risking your life at any given chance."
"Danny, the risks come with the job. I can't avoid them."
"The hell you can't, Steven!" Danny got up and started pacing, clearly angry again. "I have the same job you do and face all the inevitable risks too, but you won't see me walking in front of a bastard with an easy trigger without having my vest on! Do you call that a necessary risk, Steve, really? Because I don't remember him telling you to remove your vest!"
Steve got up too, facing his angry partner.
"It's that why you're mad at me, Danny?"
"I told you, I'm mad at everything! But yes, that's one the things. I wasn't mad because I thought you abandoned me at the hospital, I knew you had been there, of course Amber told me and also said you seemed worried to death. So you just went because you didn't want to face how would make you feel to see me in that bed, injured. I know that because it's how I feel each time you are the one in that bed!" Danny's voice continued rising and his hands were uncontrollably waiving now. "But you don't get to care and worry for the rest of us and then act like your own life it's not worth the same. Can't you get that through your thick SEAL skull?"
Steve waited a few moments to be sure Danny had ended, knowing better than to interrupt his rant. He also used the time to analyze his friend's words, realizing for the first time that he may have a point.
"I'm sorry Danny. You know I don't do these things on purpose, it's not my intention to worry you or anyone else in the team but…I guess I always end up doing it anyway. Would it help if I told you I'll be more careful from now on? Try to listen to you when you tell me I'm taking an unnecessary risk?" Steve knew he may regret his words, but right now he just wanted to get his partner back and wipe off that look from his eyes. "Would that make you stop being mad at me?"
Danny ran a hand through his hair, leaving it disheveled.
"I'm tired of being angry, Steve. It's exhausting. So yeah, it would help, but you have to mean it or God help me I will…"
"Hey, you said you weren't angry anymore!"
"Yeah, but it's not going to be that easy for you, McGarrett."
"So what do you want me to do? We could take Grace for a hike when your wound is healed. Sounds good?"
"Haven't you been paying attention here? You, a mountain and my little girl? Based on previous experiences, no way!"
Steve had to grin at that. His partner was coming back.
"Well I could buy you lunch for a week?"
"You'd have to actually carry your wallet with you for a week to do that , so I'm not liking my chances in this particular scenario."
Yeah, definitely back. Time for the final straw.
"I'll let you drive twice a week."
"Oh, well thank you for offering my own car to me, Steven! Your generosity is overwhelming!"
That was it. This was his Danny. Steve just smiled and opened his arms wide.
"Oh, don't tell me you want to hug me now?"
Steve just motioned with his hands for him to come closer.
"I'm not hugging you, Steve, you're still wet and you're sandy! No way you're coming near me!"
Danny was already taking a step back when Steve reached him and grabbed him, wrapping him in a tight hug but careful to not jostle his injured side.
"I hate you, you animal", Danny said while lightly punching him in the arm before relaxing into Steve's hold.
"No you don't, you love me."
Danny sighed again and wrapped his arms around Steve's back too.
"Yeah I do, you goof."
"I love you too, brother."
They just stayed like that a little longer, letting the surrounding calmness embrace them and allowing their minds to forget for a while about all the things they still needed to fix in their lives.
Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed it and I would love to hear your thoughts.