This is written as a oneshot for the Paramore/Linkin Park song challenge for Violet Strawberri. The song is "Pressure" by Paramore. I don't own the song or the HP characters.
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I lay in the empty Room of Requirement, absently flicking my wand and watching as sparks formed various shapes in the otherwise unlit room. I could not sleep for pain and emptiness. Where had my life gone? How much precious time had I wasted vainly chasing after things that had not been meant for me? I could not stand more emptiness, more pretending. I could hardly stay composed - I would not fall asleep feeling loathsome, empty, anticipating the worst.
I felt the pressure mounting as I I remembered speeches from Dumbledore about the things that were mine to achieve; the war was coming. Such difficult tasks, even for myself. How much better off I would have been without Potter to watch, to defend, to assist! I could never understand why I felt the urge to protect someone I so despised, why I did not let him fall into snares as his ignorant father had. Why had I let my bitterness go? Why could I never understand such things - why had I let them go? And why did I sit in solitude, fearing the future, doubting myself because of them? I listened as I heard footsteps approaching me; Albus had come to inform me of something.
"The time is coming. It's getting closer. Are you ready?"
I was careful to show no emotion. "I can feel it getting closer. I have nothing to show for my life, for the days when I drifted away from goodness. I must admit that I'm losing hope. I will never know how this war will end. I am better off without the lot of you; nevertheless, I am ready."
He smiled. "Brilliant. I am going to travel with Mr. Potter. Be ready to murder me when I return." He said it with ease, as if death were a tea party. I could hardly stand his ease.
The time was coming. I closed my eyes and remembered a pair of green eyes, the only eyes that had showed me any trace of love, the eyes that had haunted me and would until my death. You were better off without me. But I will protect your son at any cost. You were better off without me... Lily.
Tell me where our time went Cause I fear I might break I can feel the pressure Now that I'm losing hope Some things I'll never know I can feel the pressure Without you Some things I'll never know I can feel the pressure Feel the pressure
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again
and I fear I can't take it
Tonight I'll lie awake feeling empty
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
And there's nothing else to show
For all of the days that we spent
Carried away from home
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
And I had to let them go
Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
It's getting closer now
You're better off without me
Fin
Fin
The Lyrics: