Summary: Songfic to 'Story of a Lonely Guy' by Blink 182. Grissom reflects on his secret crush…GC Oneshot
A/N: I was listening to 'Story of a Lonely Guy' by Blink 182 and this story idea popped into my mind, I decided to start writing on it right away or I might lose it! And all the bad words are starred out. Ha ha. R&R please. Flames accepted. It's from Grissom's POV. And any typos are mine because I have no beta. TT
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the song 'Story of a Lonely Guy' by Blink 182.
…TEXT… Song lyrics
Story of a Lonely Guy
By: CSIBattosai
As I looked at her I couldn't help feeling a wave of sadness. I've never had a great personal life, or actually any personal life. Maybe a dinner date here and there but they meant nothing. Unless I was with her. Catherine Willows. God, we've been through so much. Sometimes I can't take much more of it, hiding my feelings, but it's what I've always done.
…Push it out, fake a smile
Avert disaster,
just in time
I need a drink,
cause in a while
Worthless answer
from friends of mine
It's dumb to
ask, cool to ignore
Girls posses me,
but they're never mine
I made my
entrance, avoided hazards
Checked my
engine, I fell behind…
So looking at her now pains me, just like it always does when I have to do something that upsets her, like taking her off a case. And it's eating me apart inside,
…I fell behind…
When she's upset I am too. It's like her emotions are contagious, but only to me. She's looking back at me now. "Are you okay, Gil?" For a moment I almost say what's on my mind, but I recover. "Oh…I'm sorry Cath. I'm just kinda' tired." Her face switches to one of concern. "You want me to drive you home?" "No, I'm fine. I'll just finish my shift and head on home." She nods, still worried, but walks away to continue processing evidence.
…She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the
storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always
nervous on, days like this like the prom
I get too scared
to move,' cause I'm a f' boy…
I finished my shift without much interruption. I spent most of it sorting through papers trying to find my notebook. I really need to get more organized. I see Catherine walk towards the parking lot because her shift is over, which also happens to be when mine ends, so I walked with her.
We walk silently towards our cars that are parked next to each other. I'm going to tell her. I am. "Cath-" "Griss-" We said at the same time. A blush finds its way into both of our cheeks. "You first," she says. "Cath," I pause, "um…Have a safe drive home." She smiles and shakes her head. "You stole my thunder." She opens her car door, starts the car, and drives away, with me still staring after her. I whimped out…again. How much more of this can a guy take?
…Remember when I was in the grocery store, now's my time
Lost the words,
lost my nerve, lost the girl, left the line
I would wish
upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine
So read my book
with a boring ending
A short story of
a lonely guy...
It takes me a moment to stop staring at the emptiness where her car used to be. I get into my car and drive, but not to my townhouse, which Catherine affectionately calls a 'condo'.
…Who fell behind…
My mind is racing. I'm thinking about my team. About Nick's enthusiasm that makes him a great CSI. He's gonna' go places, but he's so modest about it. That just makes him even better. Warrick. He's a gambler, sure, but he's never let it affect his job. Not even when I thought it was, I was wrong. Greg. He's new to the field, but he's doing fine. He did great too back at the lab, but he loves the field.
And who could not notice Sara's schoolgirl crush on me? Even I've noticed it! Sometimes I lead her on by accident by being nice; after all she is my friend, but nothing more than that. But most of all, I'm thinking about Catherine. She was born for this job. She can get frustrated sometimes because of it, but that just shows her passion. She's strong, too. No can argue that.
And God forbid, I'm driving toward her house. It's like I'm on auto pilot and I can't stop myself. What am I doing? I'm getting out of the car now. I'm knocking on the door, and it's opening.
…She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the
storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always
nervous on, days like this like the prom
I
get too scared to move, 'cause I'm a f boy…
"Gil?" she asks. "What are you doing here? Are you okay!" I assure her I'm perfectly alright, that I just need to talk to her. She opens the door wider. "Uh, sure. Come on in. Lindsey's at a friend's house right now." She lies down on a couch. "So what do you need?"
I walk over to a chair near where she's laying and sit. "Well, it's just that I need to tell you something." My words come out sounding nervous, which I am. Being nervous is totally unlike the usual Gil Grissom I pretend to be. The Gil Grissom everyone knows is emotionless. He can't feel love or be nervous. But that's just a façade. Catherine's my best friend and she knows something's up. I can tell by her eyes. She knows me almost as well as I know myself.
Almost.
"Okay. Shoot."
"Cath…I…"
…She makes me feel like it's raining outside
And when the
storm's gone I'm all torn up inside
I'm always
nervous on, days like this like the prom
I
get too scared to move, 'cause I'm still just a stupid worthless
boy…
But can't do it, no matter hard I try. I just can't. And I'm pretty sure she likes me back…But I just can't say the three words that I want to say so bad. I. Love. You.
I love you, Catherine Willows. I always have and I always will.
So what do you think? I really wanted to make it a happy ending fic, but the song is a sad song and I decided that this was good too. Should I make another in Catherine's POV? R&R please! And e-mail me if you want to chat!