Chapter 1- This is me now
Continuing from DTMFG
As much as i would like to own One Tree Hill, i don't, as well as the cast of One Tree Hill.
Jake...Peyton said quietly.
Jake quickly took in the sight in front of him, his eyes finally resting on Peyton. It didn't take him long to realize what was going on, he just put the pieces together, and he'd figured it out. But the real question was why? Why would Peyton do this, she's better than this. He felt so disappointed in her, but in a way he understood what she was going through, after all she had emailed him and told him everything, but he just couldn't bring himself to reply. Granted it was an incredibly selfish thing to do but he had to. Just the mere fact of emailing her made him miss her even more...and it made him think of the kiss they had shared...even though it was an unexpected kiss, it was still a kiss, with more love behind it than either of the two teens knew, or ever thought they'd be able to feel.
They all stood there, quietly, Peyton's eyes had welled up with tears, and she felt so ashamed that of all people to witness this situation, Jake had too. He probably thought she was stupid for even thinking about doing drugs again. Yes, he knew she'd done it before, she'd told him in the email she had sent him a while ago, but she hadn't thought that he had read it. He probably had his reasons she'd thought.
Finally, Rick broke the silence, pulling Jake and Peyton back to reality, they had both been staring into the other's eyes, hoping to read what they were feeling, well at least Jake was, Peyton on the other hand just looked at the ground, to ashamed to look Jake in the eyes. "I think I'm gonna go now...wayyyyyy to much tension here, and to be honest it makes me kinda freaked so if you two don't mind I'm gonna go... and uh...Peyton you know how to find me if you need me again..."and with a laugh he walked back into the bushes, muttering about teenagers.
Finally Jake broke the silence that had come back again, after Rick had pulled them both back into reality. "Peyton, what were you doing here...with him?" "Oh please Jake like you don't know!" Peyton retorted, the tears flowing down her cheeks now. "I hope I'm not right, because if I am, then Peyton I'm - I'm - ...why?" "Why? Why? Hmm....I don't know! Maybe because when I really needed for someone to be there for me no one was! And maybe because when I tried to talk to you about everything, you couldn't be bothered to reply! Or maybe it's because I feel like I need the drugs! I feel like I can't have any control in my life without it, I feel like it can help me with everything, like it's my only true friend! I just - I -..." she furiously wiped away the tears, while she talked or rather yelled, though not meaning to. "Peyton, of course drugs isn't your only true friend, you've got Lucas, broke, Haley, Karen, your dad, and you've got me again..." he said trailing off."NO! I HAVEN'T GOT YOU! I HAVEN'T GOT ANYONE! I HAVEN'T GOT LUCAS, OR BROOKE CUZ OF FELIX, I HAVEN'T GOT KAREN CUZ SHE'S WITH ANDY, AND SHE'S BUSY WITH BOTH THE CLUB AND CAFE! AND I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE MY FATHER, OR MY MOM! AND HOW DO I KNOW YOUR NOT GONNA JUST LEAVE ME AGAIN? I MEAN I GET WHY YOU HAD TO BUT, that doesn't mean that I didn't miss you! I mean you- i - you left just as we were getting to really know each other, and i missed you Jake! i did! everyday i missed you, some days more than others! but to me it doesn't seem as if you missed me, cuz you didn't reply! u didn't even TRY to talk to me! i bet u didn't even miss me! i just - just - i..." she was cut off, as a fresh wave of tears over took her. She sank down to the ground, and she leaned against her car door, tears flowing down her face. she sobbed into her shaking hands. Jake stooped down next to her, and waited calmly. " Peyton..." he said putting his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. "I'm sorry i left i am...but all those people you think you don't have, you have them, all of them, even your mom...you can talk to her anytime you want to, and she'll do something in reply...i just know it Peyton..." tears came into his eyes, but he held them back. he had to. "i missed too Peyton, when i left i couldn't stop thinking about you, i just wanted to tell your dad to stop the boat, and turn around, that i had to go back...but i had to go...it was for the best. and then i heard from brooke and lucas that they were really worried about you, and then i got your email...and i read it i did...but i just couldn't reply Peyton... i just didn't know what to do...i missed you too much to know what pain you were going through, and i couldn't be here to help you! i felt terrible." Jake finished with a whimper. "Jake i'm sorry! i know your disappointed in me! even i'm disappointed in me! my mom is, she saw what i've been doing! i-i-i just want to go home." Peyton said with a sniffle. "here i'll take you home? keys please." Jake said.
They drove in silence, except for Peyton's constant sniffling.
When they got to her house, she had fallen asleep in her seat, so Jake picked her up, surprised by how light she seemed to be. She cuddled closer to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He opened the door, which took him a very long time, because he had Peyton in his arms. After finally getting the door open he walked to Peyton's room, and put her in her bed, and took of her shoes, he tucked her in, an stood watching her for a minute, realising that he was so stupid to have left her. He should've just faced Nikki rather than leaving behing the greatest woman ever...Peyton...his Peyton...the girl he knew he loved, and this time it was the real thing. "Jake..."peyton said with a slight moan. "stay with me, here in my bed....just sleep...please...i just need you too...please jake?" "alright...just let me tell my folks." a minute later Jake came back, his parents had told him to stay, she really needed him. quietly after kicking of his shoes, and taking of his shirt, revealing toned abs, and biceps, he climbed into bed with Peyton, who had soon after turned into him. he wrapped his arms around her, and her him. This felt so right he thought. he looked down at Peyton, who had fallen fast asleep again...he said the only thing that he could,"Sweet Dreams Peyton,I love you..." he kissed her forehead, and settled down to get himself some sleep.
Peyton stirred around noon, she felt arms wrapped around her, and she was pressed up to a very warm body. Quickly reality hit her, and the events of the night before hit her with full force. A small smile broke out on her face, as she looked into the face of the person who was both sprawled out on her bed with his arm wrapped around her. She lay there, just thinking about how stupid she was to have even thought about doing drugs again...she had disappointed all the people that had ever mattered in her life - Jake, and her mom - she knew Jake was right as stupid as it sounded, she knew her mom was watching down on her. Guilt filled, and tears fell down her already tear stained cheeks...she whimpered and trembled slightly. Peyton wiped furiously at the tears, trying to will herself to stop crying, she wouldn't let Jake see her like this again, she couldn't, he probably thought she was so weak...she couldn't control her life, and she had turned to all things, she had turned to drugs, instead of trying to just deal with it. But the tears refused to stop coming, so she turned away from Jake, but her whimpering, trembling and moaning had already woken him from his slumber. He was a bit disoriented at first, but then everything came into focus, "Peyton...What's wrong? why are you crying?" his voice a little husky since he'd just a woken, though it was filled with concern. She didn't reply, so he got up out of bed, walked around to her side of the bed. He got down on his knees, and put his palm on her cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "Peyton...What's going on? Why are you crying?" "I-I-I-I dunno...i just am, i don't want to cry, but i am" she didn't care how stupid that response sounded but it was the truth. Jake's heart was breaking at the sight of her...he shouldn't have let this happen, he shouldn't have let his pride get in the way, he should've come back sooner, but no, he decided to keep away! "Peyton it's gonna be okay...as corny as this might sound...it's gonna be okay i'm here now..." She laughed slightly at his remark. "Yeah your here now, but what about when you have to go back to Savannah? what about then? i can't do this anymore Jake, i need someone, anyone, just to talk to them, anything, for a while it was you, but then you left, and then Brooke, and Haley, well everyone had their own problems and i didn't want to impose with my problems. So i dealt with it my way, the wrong way obviously, but that's not the point...the point is that when i really need you or anyone as a matter of fact, there not there...well actually Brooke normally is but well you know..." Peyton told him her tears finally subsiding. "I'm not going back to Savannah Peyton, i couldn't possibly leave here again, leave you again. it hurts too much! i'm gonna be hear, you can always talk to me! i don't care how many problems i have you can ALWAYS talk to me...i'm gonna be there for you...i promise you Peyton. i promise you." "Jake don't make promises like that, in the heat of the moment when i really need you or something happens like we get in a fight or something, will you really want to talk about my problems? think about it...don't make promises to me of all people whose had her heart broken one two many times that you don't intend to keep. my heart just can't talk anymore, first my mom, then lucas, then brooke, then you, and in a way my dad too cuz he's never around." "Peyton, i'm not going to break your heart, i couldn't bare to hurt you, it would kill me inside, it would break me. and this promise is one that i intend to keep, i don't care what happens Peyton i'm ALWAYS gonna be here, good luck getting rid of me." Jake finished with a laugh. Peyton laughed slightly, she sighed deeply, if he didn't bring it up she'd have to cuz it was killing her sitting down next to him on the floor she asked, "When you left with my dad, before that when we kissed i don't think we really talked about it...i dunno...i guess i jus wanna know what your thinking about it? i mean i don't really know what your feeling you know, and i know what i'm feeling obviously cuz you know i'm me and all, and who else would know how i'm feeling other than me right? so i mean how were you feeling about the kiss, i mean if you don't want to ever talk about it again, then i completely understand, i mean you just need to say what you think so i know you know? cuz i mean who else would know what you think other than you right? cuz i'm not you, so i wouldn't know right? i mean only you would know what you feel so ya...i think i'm gonna stop talking now cuz i'm just rambling on and on about the same things, over and over and over again. So i'm just gonna be quiet so you can talk now ok?" Peyton finished, finally catching the amused look on Jake's face. She'd just noticed that he was shirt-less, and boy did he look HOT! She gazed into his eyes, and him her, finally after minutes of silence he spoke "it was a good kiss Peyton, a really good kiss...i'm happy you kissed me, i could tell things were changing between us, but i was afraid that you wouldn't react to the way i felt, so i just sorta kept my feelings to myself... Peyton cut him off, "yeah i get what your saying, totally completely! really i do!" Jake's lips crashed down onto Peyton's, in a gentle, put passionate kiss. After he ran his tongue on her bottom lip begging for entrance, she quickly let him in, a small moan escaping her lips somehow. Soon they were lying down on the floor, him on top of her, his arms around her waist, she had one hand running through his hair and the other on his back, running it up and down, they were both discovering what made each other moan with passion. From one kiss they ended up in a full - out make out session. Finally they broke apart gasping for air. Peyton was smiling , and Jake had a goofy look on his face. "Uh...i need to tell you something?" they both said at the same time. "you go first Peyton said to Jake, "okay, i know its really soon to be saying this and i'm not even sure if were together or what, but its true this time i know it is... I love you Peyton, with all my heart, i'll never do anything to hurt you not ever..." "that's what i was about to tell you, i love you too Jake," they were both smiling like crazy, then Jake placed a short but passionate kiss on Peyton's lips, that had so much fire behind it, it was mind-numbing. "So what are we now? " Peyton asked. "Well i'll leave that for you to decided." With that Peyton's lips crashed down on Jake's leaving him with a mind-blowing kiss, "there's your answer, and if you didn't get what that meant, it meant that were together!" "I don't think i've ever been happier, then again i wasn't with you then..."Jake said sweetly. "Keep saying things like that and everyone else will want you too..."Peyton said. Peyton yawned, and then said "Maybe i should take a little nap...care to join me?" "Dirty! of course i'll join you! can't say i'm gonna sleep cuz i slept enough already, but i'll join you anyways." With that they went back to sleep, well at least Peyton did, Jake watched her sleep as she snuggled up to him. he smiled to himself, thinking that things in his life couldn't be any better than this, he had Jenny, and now he had Peyton...to him he was so very lucky and blessed to have such a great daughter and now he had the greatest girlfriend. He never thought he'd be able to feel this way about another woman again after Nikki, but apparently he could, and now that he did, he didn't understand how he could ever live without Peyton. It was so obvious that she completed him, she made him better, she made him love again, and he liked that. Slowly Jake drifted back to sleep.