A/N: So this is just something I wrote for fun because I was bored and in a slash-y mood. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Good thing too, because I have some fucked up fantasies.

Great Hall Shag

Draco/Neville

Draco felt so sorry for the poor souls who would eat breakfast on this table tomorrow morning. He could wait until they got to the dorms, but Longbottom had been teasing him all day and he just couldn't take it any longer.

"Get on this table right now or I swear I'll jinx you." Draco wasn't messing around.

"Bossy aren't we Malfoy?" Neville was just being mean now. All day he had been sending Draco provocative messages explaining in great detail what he planned to do to him tonight. The Great Hall wasn't the most ideal place for such activity to take place, but it would work given the circumstances.

"You know you like it." Whispered Draco in a husky voice. He leaned in and kissed Neville full on the mouth. The kiss was hot and passionate. Draco could feel his erection grow to its fullest state; he was going to give it to Longbottom and he was going to give it to him good.

"Draco, you ready?" Neville smiled a devilish smile and Draco just about came then and there. "There's just one more thing I'm gonna need you to do."

"What?" Draco tried to sound as annoyed as possible.

"Mr. Malfoy."

"Mr. Longbottom."

"Mr. Malfoy."

"What are you doing?"

"Mr. Malfoy."

"Quit saying that! Damn it Neville what do you want!"

"Mr. Malfoy will you kindly stop jacking off and pay attention." Draco was brought back to reality in the crudest way possible. He had been sleeping fucking again. Sleep fucking was like sleep walking; only you were jacking off. This had happened a few times in the privacy of his own bed, but never in front of anyone. He had been caught with his dick out in front of the entire class. "Would you kindly put that away." McGonagall tried her hardest not to laugh as she gestured toward his junk.

"Of course." Draco sat there humiliated for the rest of the class. He had hoped that he hadn't said anything when he was wanking, but that hope was in vain. It was quite obvious by the whispers and the looks he was getting that he had moaned Neville's name. He had never wanted to leave a class so badly; but of course McGonagall wanted to talk to him.

"Mr. Malfoy, Madam Pomfrey has informed the staff of your condition." She began with as serious of a face as she could muster. "But it is up to you to keep it under control. I can't allow you to whip it out every time you fall asleep in a class. Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good. Then you're free to go." McGonagall waved her hand dismissively and Draco ran out the door as fast as he could. He wanted to get as far away from that classroom as possible. That had easily been the most awkward conversation of his life. But awkward seemed to love Draco today, because right outside waiting for him was none other than Neville Longbottom himself.

"So you fancy me eh?" Neville was wearing that smile. Draco loved that smile. "I'm always up for new things. Call me sometime." Neville winked and walked down the corridor, leaving Draco dumbfounded.

"Neville wait!" Draco called after him. He was not gonna let Longbottom get away from him again. Who knows, he might get his Great Hall shag after all.

A/N: I hope you liked it! If you did, review and I may write more!

Sidenote: No penises were harmed during the writing of this fanfiction.