Me: This was inspired by Niabi's 'Hollywood adaption of' stories

Yugi: It's terrible!

Me: I do not own Yu-gi-oh!

"Kyle!" Jeff shouted through the phone to his provider, who had sent him his source material.

"What?" Kyle responded.

"Get over here! We need to talk about your story!" Jeff shouted.

"Very well."

"Take a seat." Jeff said to Kyle as he walked in the office. Kyle took his seat as Jeff pulled out a folder full of paper.

"Alright," Jeff said as he started reading. "First things first, We have to change the name Yugi to something that sounds more western."

"The show's set in Japan."

"You don't think we're actually keeping the plot in its original country like a crazy person? No, we're moving this to Chicago."

"Why Chicago?"

"Be quiet and I'll tell you why later. But first, nice work with this Joey character, he's actually American, Brooklyn it seems."

"Actually he was originally named Jonou-"

"However, he loses too many duels for an American. We'll have to change that."

"But he's-"

"Also, why does this Yugi kid grow at the start of a 'duel'?"

"Well you see, that's an animation function, used to alert the viewers-"

"Too complicated. We'll just have it be he time travels."

"He time travels?"

"Yep, I'm brilliant. Next, this fishing guy, Mako is it? We'll have to change that to Mike. Also, Weevil will be Will, and Rex can stay Rex. Oh yeah, let's change it so that Weevil- excuse me, Will- and Rex are brothers from a divorced family, who hate each other cause each killed the other's divorcement parent."

"That makes sense how?"

"Cause it gives a reason for while they're always together despite hating each other. Also, this 'Shadow Realm' thing is dumb, we'll change it to mind control and slavery."

"But that wouldn't make sense because of the shadow drones from season 2-"

"Speaking of season 2, let's change the rare hunters to mafia, and change Marik to a mafia boss, who gets taken over by the evil spirit while tomb-robbing for gold."

"But he's supposed to be a member of the Ishtar-"

"Next thing, this whole 'Pharaoh' thing? Yeah, we'll have to change that. He'll be King George the third."

"But his name is Atem. And he's from 5000 years ago."

"We'll just change it so the items were created in England in medieval times, and King George was the one to seal them away."

"But that throws off the whole Egypt them-"

"And this 'Tea' girl? For one, we'll have to change her name too, and for two, she's too unlikable."

"That's the whole-"

"She seems to have feelings for the hero, but which one? She needs to be more aggressive, and not just keeping this Rebecca girl away from 'name to be decided later'. Let's change it so she gets with this Joey character."

"Why?!"

"Cause the Brooklyn guy always gets the girl. Oh yeah, you know how Joey's parents are divorced? Let's change that to his mom killed his dad in order to take the kids for her own, but Joey ran away, knowing his mother's plans for world domination, and vowing to take back Serenity's 'sight' as she is too blind to see what her mother has become."

"Also, why in the world did you ever stop with this season zero stuff?" Jeff continued. "This crazy horror movie esque stuff happening to teenagers who like children's card games is the perfect way to increase our target audience to include adults."

"Actually, Yu-gi-oh! has reached quite a high level of popularity among-"

"Let's start talking about this Seto Kaiba character. Ignoring the obvious name change and making him American, I have a few notes. I think he should carry a gun."

"It's a children's show!"

"This is Hollywood, who cares? Also, when he kidnaps the kid's grandfather and rips the Blue whatever card, he should say something like, 'Screw common human decency, I have money.'"

"That's just ripping off the abridged series."

"Who cares? It's giving the fans what they want. He should also carry Mokuba on his back at some point to increase the 'big brother, little brother' ness that the fans love so much."

"That's actually a good-"

"This can happen right before this Marik guy kills Mokuba, causing Seto to fly into a rage and partner with Yugi to try to beat him, but right when they're about to win, Seto gets shot in the back by a zombie Mokuba."

"I take that back."

"Oh, and Noah should be his sister."

"Why?"

"Because we can make it a whole 'battle of the sexes' thing, which makes it better when Kaiba loses."

"Anything more on Kaiba?"

"In season 4, with the flashback to Gozaburo Kaiba, we should show the tanks blowing up the entire city, and let's have this Alister guy completely forget about his brother, and just be trying to beat Seto because he couldn't win a single toy from his cereal, which he was enough cereal to use 200 cartons worth of Kaibacorp milk."

Kyle sighed. Jeff kept going regardless.

"And this Tristan character does nothing but be a goofy, lovable, Brooklyn people-punching, funny guy who plays no vital role in the story, besides being an over-age love interest for the Brooklyn guy's little sister. We should have him secretly be a spy for the rare hunter mafia who in the end, ends up dying at the hands of this British bloke, Bakura."

"You going to complain about Bakura's name too?"

"That goes without saying. I like this Rebecca girl, let's have her be the one who beats Yugi in the waking the dragons arc."

"How does that even make sense?"

"We'll have the seal thing brainwash her, make her defeat Yugi, then, thinking Yugi's dead forever, she commits suicide when she realizes what's she's done. This causes King George to swear to defeat Dartz, because he knew how much Yugi loved Rebecca."

"But the age diff-"

"Lastly, this Mai girl should also be Joey's girlfriend."

"But since Tea's also his girlfriend, wouldn't that be supporting polygamous relationships?"

"It's called a harem. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it, being Japanese. Besides, this shows that we're open-minded."

Kyle sighed. "I'm just glad you didn't have anything to say about season 5."

"There won't be a season 5. The show ends after the Leviathan kills everyone in the world."

"Wait, what?!"

"Yeah, the Leviathan kills everyone, except Yugi, Joey, and Seto. These three use the Dark Magician Girl's power to fuse their ace monsters with the 3 dragons and the Egyptian Gods- Joey having Ra- and after they defeat the Leviathan, they use the ultimate Monster Reborn to bring back everyone who died, or was mentioned having died, in the series, and everyone lives happily every after, with Yugi and Rebecca getting married."

"Anything else?"

"Nope, what do you think?"

Kyle got up and opened the door. "I hope Atem sends you to the Shadow Realm."