I've never owned a cat, which may become obvious in my attempt to write this request despite research and an insane number of disturbing cat videos. This story has yet to see the light of a beta: watch out for grammatical and spelling failures. Oh yea...some OCC, bouts of cursing, and kitty type aggression is involved.
*nervously fidgets* Please enjoy!
It's sometime in the early afternoon when he arrives at the quaint little house for a surprise visit. He's so excited to be here this spring (after slogging away the winter heaped in work, snow, and crippling hockey games with Mattie) that he barely has the vehicle in park before jumping out.
Dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and a Xmen Wolverine shirt, Alfred proceeds to bound through the wrought iron gate, down the flagstone path, and up to the front door set in the cobble stone wall. He knocks with his customary rhythm of "Shave and a haircut...two bits" to let Arthur know it is him and not some salesman, paparazzi, or Russia with his usual promises of pain.
As he waits, he casually surveys his surroundings. The greenery and flowers engulf the entire residence to the point where it seems as if the very house has sprouted from the ground as well. Arthur's mini cooper (complete with offensive bumper sticker) and his luxury Jaguar (for those dignified/midlife crises moments) are idly sitting in the driveway.
After an eternity (10 seconds) of no response, Alfred begins to suspect he is being deliberately ignored. Slightly annoyed, he makes his way to the backyard.
When he and Matthew where children, Arthur used to tell them stories of fairy rings which magically transported people to mythical kingdoms. Nostalgic old man that Arthur is, it didn't take much effort for Alfred to find the spare key located at the center of a little mushroom circle.
The rear door opens into a tile floored kitchen. The house has a fairly open floor plan. Alfred can see the entire living room to his right with its mix of old and modern furniture, various souvenirs from Arthur's travels, and a good sized fireplace on the opposite wall. It's somewhat dark in here: Arthur having drawn nearly all the curtains and drapes closed.
"Hello~? Anyone home?"
There is no answer.
Alfred reluctantly closes the door but only halfway. The atmosphere of the place feels like one of those creepy horror movies where a raging madman is going to pop out with a chainsaw, and no one will be able to hear his screams. They'll find bits and pieces of him scattered in the woods twenty years from now.
Alfred frantically finds the light switch and flips it on only to discover the electricity is out too. He calls out again to the man who should be living here, trying to keep the terrified quiver out of his voice.
"A-Arthur? Artie? Did you forget to pay the bills again? You haven't fallen and broken a hip have you?"
Once again there is no response. He's about to go back outside to wait when something odd catches his eye. There is a ceramic calico cat sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. He immediately recognizes it as one of Kiku's Maneki Nekos with an upraised paw to beckon him over with promises of good luck and fortune.
Upon closer scrutiny, he discovers Arthur has clearly ruined his table. Alfred is used to the oddball chalking his symbols about the house, but this time the man had literally carved it into the beautiful wood. Alfred traces the pattern on the table with an index finger. By the look of how intricate the design is, he concludes the Brit desperately needs to get out more often and make some friends. There's no way Arthur will ever be able to sell it if he wished to now. Then again, maybe Arthur's people will like this sort of thing: an odd man for an odd country.
A dull purple glow is gathering in intensity. There shouldn't be anything glowing since the power is out. Alfred looks up to find a purple halo emanating from the Maneki Neko. With wide eyes, he watches it expand by spreading down and out along the tabletop like a living fog. When it nearly reaches Alfred's hand he quickly pulls away. The room instantly goes dark and still again.
Well that was strange.
Has Arthur been working with Kiku on some kind of new technology without him? Alfred wasn't exactly jealous, but Arthur knew how much of a nerd he was and it kind of stung to be left out of such a fun looking project. Where did the purple glow come from? There were no lights shining from above. The Maneki Neko didn't appear to be hollowed out like a lantern either. Perhaps they had discovered a new periodical element with such creepy behavioral characteristics?
Alfred reaches out to take the smiling ceramic cat off the table...
...then wakes up to a very boring view of the ceiling from his place on the floor. There's a sharp pain radiating from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes. He sits up in a panic, lifts his shirt up, and is extremely relieved at what he finds. Thank God he didn't wake up in a bathtub of ice with a kidney missing!
What the hell happened? How long has he been out? Why the fuck is Arthur not here yet, or did he come home and simply leave him lying there?
A bit dazed, Alfred slowly stands up using the table to keep himself steady. It screeches sideways with the force and a very loud crash follows.
Alfred bolts from the kitchen like a bat out of hell.
~##~
"Not now," he prays to the heavens. "Not today of all the sunny, beautiful, faultless days."
Arthur -wearing his typical sweater-vest ensemble- leans his bike against the fence and frowns at the red monstrosity of a truck blocking his driveway. The windows are tinted so dark it's nearly impossible to see in; however, none of that matters as Arthur is sure the owner isn't behind the wheel.
He makes the trek to his front door and finds it still locked. A little hopeful that maybe Alfred took a walk somewhere instead, Arthur steps into the foyer. There's a staircase to his right, the closed door to the study on his left, and down the short hall is the living room.
Arthur can immediately tell something is wrong. The atmosphere inside feels electrified, as if something magically powerful had exploded. Rushing to the kitchen, he is mystified to find the back door wide open and his ceramic Meneki Neko shattered to bits upon the floor. That mystified feeling slowly descends into anger when he notices a pair of glasses resting halfway under the refrigerator.
"ALFRED!"
Where did that stupid idiot go? Arthur leaves the kitchen and steps back out into the sunshine. He is relieved to find his vegetable garden, flower beds, and well manicured shrubbery unscathed. One glance at the fairy ring a few paces off tells him everything he needs to know about how Alfred got into his house.
How? How did that damnable boy always manage to find where he hid his spare keys? This is the reason why everyone in the world thought Alfred had been given one. Honestly? Would you trust the man with your spare house key?
If you answered "yes", Arthur thinks you should seek intense psychological counseling.
A couple of trees dot the property and beyond that is mainly rolling hills of grass and farmland. Either Alfred is long gone, or he's hiding.
"I know you're out here! Stop being a coward and face your punishment like a man!"
"I'm not a coward!"
Arthur smirks as he tries to pinpoint the source of Alfred's distant -yet very close- voice.
"Up here Sherlock," Alfred says.
Arthur approaches the tallest tree and peers up through the dense leaves and branches. Alfred is perched on a branch that is nearly at the top.
"Are you off your trolley? Come down here this instant!"
"No!"
"I swear to God, Saint George, and the Queen of England that if you don't, I'll chop down this tree with you in it! You have till the count of five to move your sorry arse...One..."
"Not happenin'!"
"Three."
"You can't just skip numbers!"
"Five."
"I'm stuck!"
"What?"
"I-I can't get down," Alfred grumbles. "I'm stuck."
There is a long, disbelieving moment of silence broken by the sound of Arthur laughing.
"When you're done laughing, help me down!"
Arthur is finding it too hard to speak. "What's the magic word?"
"Please help me down damn it!"
"Shall I call the fire department?"
"Oh that's just peachy. I can tell you're itching to get my photo plastered on every tabloid from here to Waikiki. You should know there's something else that's...wrong."
Arthur stops laughing. "Are you injured up there? I think it's best to call-"
"NO! Just get up here already and you'll find out!"
It takes awhile for Arthur to make the climb. Once he's sitting with Alfred on his lofty perch, he can see why the man is so freaked out -despite the stuck in a tree part.
"Alfred, what is wrong with your eyes?"
Those blue eyes with vertical pupils narrow at him. "The better to see you with my dear," he dryly replies.
"Are those cat ears on your head?"
Large white ears flatten back in an attempt to hide themselves in Alfred's blond hair. "The better to hear you with my dear."
"And-"
"I seriously have the urge to bite you right now."
It takes a bit of effort to convince Alfred to release his death grip upon the tree. Whilst being coached down one branch at a time, Alfred tells him everything from the time he arrived, to the point he blacked out, and finally ending up in the tree with his new appearance. Safely on the ground, he immediately proceeds to unzip his jeans.
"Have you no shame?"
"You don't understand! This thing has been bothering me like mad the whole time!"
When Alfred's pants are off, Arthur can't decide which is more amusing: the 'I heart London' boxers or the slender white tail swinging idly behind him. His Xmen shirt only reinforces the hilarity of it all.
"This is all your fault," Alfred whines.
"Wrong. You shouldn't have messed with something you did not understand."
"Turn me back!"
"I wouldn't even if I could," Arthur huffs. He walks around Alfred to get a better look at the half-cat practically in tears in his yard. "Besides, it was a rather powerful new spell. I could very well kill you trying to reverse it."
"You mean I'm stuck like this forever?"
"Not forever. Maybe a few hours...days...years." Arthur is somewhat disappointed in not finding whiskers. "I'm surprised you haven't complained about how much shorter you are."
Alfred blinks at him a few times before realizing that he is indeed able to stare Arthur right at eye level now. "This is even worse! I don't want to be scrawny hobbit like you!"
Quick as lightning, Arthur grabs him by an ear and pulls.
"Ow! That hurts!"
Without another word, Arthur angrily drags him that way back into the house and slams the door.