Aftermath

Fancying Lily Evans was a terrible decision, a terrible decision he couldn't remember making. It just happened. James contemplated this as he walked alone in the castle looking for the girl. He didn't have the map (he'd kick Wormtail in the shins for that later) and Lily was not in the library, the Common Room, or the Great Hall, and Mary hadn't seen her recently. He was annoyed at Lily for her absence more than he should have been, and for reasons that weren't even (not entirely) her fault.

"Find Evans," He could hear Sirius' voice echoing inside his head. "Go find Evans and warn her." James picked up his pace.

"Fancy a trip to the kitchens?" Sirius asked of James, who turned to him with an amused grin.

"We were there two hours ago."

"Yeah, and we're going again. I'm hungry."

It was an average Saturday, term was almost over, and they'd be home for the summer holidays as soon as possible. All in all, James was in good spirits as he and Sirius ambled down the hallway. Halfway to the Kitchens, his mood took a turn for the worse.

"All I'm saying," drifted a voice from a nearby classroom, "is that the only way we'll solve this is by hitting the problem at its root."

Another voice drifted lazily into the conversation. "We've talked about this before, Nott. The attachment to the Mudblood-" James froze as Sirius tensed at the word Mudblood, and one look between the pair confirmed that both had a good guess as to whom it could be. Rosier's voice went on, "-has always been a fault of Snape's, but it's up to him to end it soon. And they aren't speaking now."

"Not for lack of trying," came Nott again. "She'll always be a distraction. So I'll take care of that. No Unforgivables around the old crakpot Dumbledore, but something close enough."

There was a brief silence, until Rosier spoke, his voice closer than it had been before. "This has nothing to do with Evans' sabotaging your cheating quill before O.W.L.'s, does it?"

"Maybe." The pair was walking down an adjacent corridor, coming nearer and nearer to where James and Sirius had frozen. Sirius pushed his sleeves up as he glanced at James.

"I've got the bastards handled, Prongs."

Anger was coursing through James' veins, and he too yielded his wand. "Nott's got another thing coming if he thinks he can just-"

"No," for once in his life, Sirius was the voice of reason. "Find Evans. Go find Evans and warn her."

For a moment, Sirius and James looked eyes as James' anger battled with the necessity of finding Lily and punching Nott in the jaw, but he could hear Rosier and Nott getting closer around the corner. He let out an annoyed puff, rolled his shoulders, and without another word, took Sirius' advice.

And of course, half an hour later yielded no success for James, who was contemplating crashing Peter's detention to grab the Map. Bloody Evans, James thought, moving towards the dungeons. The girl does this to herself for being such a brilliant witch. Slytherins hate

talented Muggleborns more than Snape hates showering. He grinned to himself at that last bit. James was headed for a shortcut in the wall when he saw something at last. A flash of red and a swish of robes turned the corner of the hallway, and James sped after his target. When he reached the corner, he saw Lily hunched against the wall, face hidden in her hands. She looked exhausted, and didn't face James' at the sound of his footsteps.

"I will give you three seconds, or I swear to Merlin, I will-" Lily spun around and stopped talking when she saw James. "Oh. It's just you." She muttered, sighing.

"Don't sound too pleased to see me, Evans." James said, now swaggering up to her as opposed to his formerly hurried jog. He felt relief at finding her and now and could enjoy her presence for a bit before breaking the news.

"I thought you were... Nevermind." She rubbed her forehead wearily, an action James recognized as a sign of one of her headaches— a sign he recognized as a result of causing many of them.

"Why are you alone?" James realized he sounded a bit accusatory and had to remind himself that it wasn't Lily's fault he'd been searching the castle on a now empty stomach. She raised her eyebrows at him in an almost threatening way. "Never mind that... You have any idea of how bloody hard you are to find?"

"Oh, stalking me now?" came her retort. A meeting with James Potter was the last thing that Lily wanted right now. She rolled her eyes scathingly. "Lovely. Smashing!"

"Not stalking, love. Merely looking. Searching with a specific purpose. Besides, I've normally got easier ways of finding out where you are than Mary McDonald's word." said James, smirking. "What kind of rubbish mate doesn't know your whereabouts at all times?"

"I wanted to be alone, Potter." She crossed her arms and glared. "I don't understand why you're finding it so difficult to comprehend."

James thought for a moment. This was why he was here, wasn't it? Evans would not take his news easily. She'd be offended at even the suggestion of her being in danger with the implication that she would need help. No, Lily Evans would not be happy at James for this, but

then again, was she ever happy with him? James decided that the truth would be best in this situation.

"I'm worried about you." He shrugged. "I was worried, so I came looking."

"Excuse me?" Lily simply quirked an eyebrow at him, but James could sense the oncoming storm. Nevertheless, he went on.

"Hear me out, alright? Nott and Rosier were talking, and your name was tossed about." He spared Lily the details. "So yeah, Evans, I'm worried about what they'll do to you."

"I'm touched." Lily's tone suggested anything but the sort. "I don't need you— or anyone else— worrying about me. I can take care of myself perfectly fine, thank you." She moved to get away from Potter, because the past week's event by the lake was too fresh for her to stand

anymore conversation with the boy. But the moment she began to march away from James, Lily only felt her frustration grow. She was tired of running away from Sev and his attempts at apologies that she knew would only lead to more trouble, she was tired of having to constantly

worry about her safety inside of what was supposed to be a sanctuary (because of course she knew Nott had picked her out. How many times had she felt his glare upon her back, watching her?) and most of all she was tired of James Potter for becoming such a conundrum in her life.

"You drive me insane!" She turned her heel and marched back towards James, pointing her finger at him. "I've got enough on my plate trying to deal with Severus, and you think you can-"

"Hold up," James glared down at Lily, "do not tell me I spent the better part of an hour looking for you because you we're talking things over with Snivellus."

Lily matched his anger. "Don't call him that!"

"I seem to remember you calling him the same thing by the lake a few days ago and-"

"Stop right there, Potter. Don't you dare bring that up you complete and utter-"

James cut her off. Fancying Lily Evans was possibly the worst mistake of his life when she acted like this. Hadn't he witnessed the end of their friendship? Hadn't he seen her avoid the greasy haired git since that day? Apparently, all of that had been for not and Lily was still talking to Snape. It made James sick.

"Look, Evans," James spat, "I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Snape, but it needs to end. For your own sake."

Lily blinked, but didn't back down. "What was between me and Snape is none of your business, Potter, and I don't owe you any sort of explanation." Lily glared and James returned the look with full intensity. For the first time since finding her, however, he noticed the red tint around her green eyes and realized the Lily Evans had recently been crying, which he had certainly never encountered. Lily huffed in frustration as she felt her eyes prickle once again this evening. She had just decided to make her final exit when James grabbed her arm.

"Stop..." he mumbled, not quite sure what to do with a teary Lily Evans, something he didn't think possible. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Lily's glare did not falter as she moved her head to snap back at him. "I don't care. Honestly, just leave me alone if you're only going to pester me about the very last thing I want to talk about, especially to you!"

"You're right." James let go of her arm and stuffed his hand in his pocket, feeling the Snitch inside but not pulling it out. "It's none of my business."

"What?" Lily was staring wide eyed at him, rubbing the spot in her arm where his hand had been.

"I said you're right, Evans." James shrugged his shoulders. "It's none of my business, no matter how much I wish otherwise. So this is the last thing I'll ever say about you and Snape. You're a smart bird, Evans, but you're blinding yourself out of some sort of kindness or pity or something, I don't know. He called you a- a you know! And you're still talking to him?" James threw his arms up in frustration and confusion. "I don't get it, Lily. I really don't."

"You don't," came Lily's simple reply, but it wasn't the biting snap she wanted to throw him. It was soft and quiet in the shock of hearing her first name come from Potter's mouth. "You don't get it. I'm not his friend anymore. I knew this day would come, but still, I hoped..." Lily sighed, staring at a space on the wall past James' head. "He was my best friend. My only friend for a long time. I had hoped to, I don't even know, keep him out of it, see? Even when he became friends with Rosier and Nott, he was still my best friend." Lily sighed, coming out of the reverie and locked eyes with James. "I don't know why I'm defending myself to you, Potter. I just am. So go ahead and mock me for trying to be the only good thing in Sev- Snape's life."

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to mock you, Evans." This was Lily Evans, who wanted the best out of a kid Death Eater but nothing to do with him, and James still had trouble wrapping his head around that. He continued. "I know the importance of loyalty to friends, if you haven't noticed." His anger at Lily had left, as it often did whenever he was in her presence any amount of time. There was a brief silence between the two.

"Of course I've noticed," Lily stated, and began walking down the corridor, allowing James to do the same and walk beside her. "You're an arrogant prick, James," he rolled his eyes but smiled when she said his first name as she continued, "with no regard for other people. You hex students for a laugh, you think you're better than everyone because you're brilliant, and what makes it worse is that you are brilliant. But even after all that, I know that somewhere inside you is a really, really good person." She stopped walking, and looked nervously up and down the hallway. "I know what Remus is."

James immediately stiffened, trying to hide the panic that had risen in him. "What does that even mean? We all know what Remus is, a… a no-good prefect with a chocolate problem. Should have admitted him weeks ago." Even he didn't believe him.

"Stop joking, James. I know Remus is a werewolf."

James clenched his fists in anger. "Snape told you. He swore, swore, he wouldn't tell. Oh, I'm going straight to Dumbledore-" James pivoted on his foot, set on his path to the Headmaster's office, but Lily pulled him back.

"Will you listen to me? I figured it out myself."

James stared at her. Of course, brilliant Lily would know. But if Lily knew about Moony's secret, did she...?

"Yes, he's been trying for years to convince me," Lily was still talking, "but I've known since last year, and this year's patrols confirmed it. I just didn't want to give Snape any proof. So, you being best friends with Remus is really excellent of you, James."

James didn't grin at the sound of his name, still too preoccupied with worrying if Lily knew about Padfoot and Prongs and Wormtail. Suddenly, Lily looked extremely uncomfortable as she continued. "I, uh, kind of wanted to thank you." Lily dropped her gaze and wrung her hands anxiously, something that James couldn't help but smirk at because a self-conscious Lily was both rare and a strangely beautiful sight. "I wanted to thank you for saving Severus a while ago..."

"Don't." He said, waving his hand at her. "You really don't have to do that."

"But I do!" Lily grabbed at her hair, "I really do, because you didn't have to save him, but you did. And I don't know why, but I do know I'm thankful for that. So even though Snape didn't deserve to be saved, you deserve to be thanked."

"Well..." James rubbed the back of his neck, "thanks. I mean, you're welcome." Never had James heard his praises sung by Lily, and he considered this a major accomplishment on his part.

"I should go back now I guess," said Lily quietly, feeling not for the first time in her life uncomfortable by the subtlety humble side of James' personality. Lily's disapproval of James was not unfounded; when she saw him bully, it was easy to forget the actually sweet bloke beneath it all. But she could not deny that there was James beneath Potter, and that James made her laugh and smile and giddy.

"Yeah," James agreed, but he remained standing in front of Lily, taking in the fact that there was a pink tinge around her freckled cheeks, and that her lips were turned up in the tiniest of smiles. He felt his own mouth form a huge grin as she once more met his eyes.

"I'll see you around, James."

"'Course, Lily."

And she walked seemingly calmly away while James' head spun with everything Lily Evans. Fancying her was one of the worst things to happen to him— she ignored obvious Blood tensions, outscored him in practical examinations and yelled at him for being an arse to other

students. But fancying Lily Evans was one of the greatest parts of James' life because she wasn't afraid to fight the status quo and because she was brilliant with a wand and because she would not tolerate his prick ways of showing power. When James finally began to amble back to the Kitchens, he wasn't worried about Nott or Snape. Her smile was the only thing on his mind.