No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
Before he knew what was happening he was surrounded by Aurors, all had the wands raised and pointed straight at him. Looking around at the destruction; the scattered dead muggles, 12 he counted as he looked at them, his vision honing in on the solitary finger that lay on the ground where Peter had been standing. A manic laugh burst from his lips as he let his wand clatter to the ground and laced his fingers behind his head, no point fighting this, there'd be a trial and then he'd walk free, take Harry away from those muggles, apologise to Remus for ever suspecting him, and they'd raise Harry as a family. Telling him stories of James and Lily, he'd grow up loved, cared for and happy.
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
Of course, that didn't happen; there was no trial, no telling his side of the story, they took everything at face value and sent Sirius straight to Azkaban. He tried to tell them that Peter was the one, that he'd betrayed the Potter's, he'd blown up all those muggles. But the muggle witnesses that were still alive had recounted how Peter had shouted just that at Sirius, blamed Sirius for betraying the Potter's and of course no-one knew that he and Peter had swapped places for the Fidius Charm. No-one knew and so no-one could vouch for Sirius as only the secret keeper could have revealed the location of the Potter's and they all believed Sirius to be the secret keeper.
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
His conscious was clear, he knew he was innocent, he'd never done anything to James or Lily, except make them put their trust in the wrong person, maybe he should have left his own life at risk. The dementors brought up his worst memories, while awake he could focus on his innocence, it wasn't a happy memory but it was something to focus on, it kept the dementors at bay, at least a little bit. While he slept though his dreams of happier times were always interrupted, the dementors even fed on his dreams, and turned them to nightmares. He couldn't allow himself to think of Remus, but every once in a while that face would creep into his mind, usually while he slept.
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
The houses had just been cleared, all the stuff sent through the floo. James and Lily, killed by Voldemort, baby Harry, sent to live with muggles, Peter blown to pieces and Sirius in Azkaban. Remus was alone, Moony was alone. A box of stuff now sat in Remus' living room, full of things left to him by those he was closest to. Remus sat on his couch, his head in his hands. Hour after hour went by, just sitting in the dark, Remus hadn't moved, hadn't slept, hadn't eaten. As the sun began to rise a slither of light crept in through a gap in the curtains. Remus slowly lifted his head from his hands and slowly stood up. He went to the box and with trembling hands he opened the box. Inside lay many photo's, summer after 1st year, a photo of everyone with different coloured hair, one of stag a dog and a rat. One of Remus standing with Lily and Marlene. One of graduation. Lily and James at their wedding, Lily and James with a baby Harry, Sirius on his bike.
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
With a growl, Remus screwed up the photo of Sirius and threw it across the room, he watched as it fell into the fire place and he instantly pulled out his wand, managing to rescue the photo before it was completely destroyed, with a muttered spell and another flick of his wrist he restored the photo to its original state. The Sirius in the photo now looked totally bewildered at the action, a tear rolled down Remus's cheek and landed with a splat on the photo. He furiously wiped his eye on the back of his hand before anymore tears could spill out. He put the photos back into the box from which they'd came and just left it sitting there on the coffee table.
But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
He woke with a start, he'd been crying in his sleep once again, throwing the sheets off of himself he stood up, he would not let himself get upset over Sirius, the dreams always involved Sirius and he always awoke with tears tracks and a runny nose. He walked towards the closet, today was Lily and James' funeral and he needed to be prepared for that, he'd spent the past week in a slump and he looked a mess, hadn't changed his clothes, showered, shaved… he hadn't even eaten. After a quick shower he moved to the closet to find his suit, as soon as he opened it he was hit with Sirius scent, his Sirius. He sunk to the floor and began to sob, great ugly sobs, he could barely breath as all the sadness that consumed him at the loss of everything he knew, everyone he loved finally hit him. He curled himself into a ball and just sat there crying for what felt like hours.
No one knows what it's like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
A soft tap on the door brought Remus from his dazed state, he'd stopped crying a while ago, but he'd not managed to get himself up off the ground to continue getting ready, he wasn't ready to say goodbye, it was too much of the end for Remus. The knock came again and Remus realised someone was at his bedroom door, not the front door, the door opened and he heard the soft footsteps coming towards him "Oh hunny" his mother's voice was soft as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and helped him to his feet, she sat him on the bed and without another word she found his suit in the wardrobe and helped him get dressed. She the guided him through the hallway to the kitchen where his father was sat waiting, both of them knew there was nothing they said would help so they were just there. His father tied his tie and they left the house to head to Godric's Hollow, his mother's hand in his, and his father's arm around his shoulders.
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
Sirius had seen the newspaper that morning, watched as Crouch had come in to see his son, he was the only one allowed to do such things, he'd watched Crouch walk past the with newspaper under his arm, he'd caught a glimpse of the front page; James and Lily's funeral had been today. Sirius sunk to his knees his head in his hands as he began to cry, his hands moving from his face to tangle in his hair, letting his head fall back against the wall he was resting against. He caught sight of the fall moon through the bars and he tugged on his hair, letting out a hiss of pain knowing that for the first time since they were 15 Remus was alone during a full moon. Pushing himself to his feet Sirius turned around and punch the wall, he continued to punch the wall, feeling the searing pain as he split the skin and felt the blood trickle down the knuckle. He turned his blue eyes towards the moon once more as a single tears slipped down his cheek.
No one knows what it's like
To be the sad man
To be the bad man
Behind blue eyes