Evilly Ever After

A FanFic for one of my besties, the real life Ruby! (rubyred777) LOVE YOU!

This is a cross over; Harry Potter meets Supernatural. Yay!

First one I'm trying, only the second FanFic I've written. I own nothing, though I love both these worlds and wish I did!

Reviews are greatly appreciated! :D

Thanks for reading!

I groaned, rolling over. My whole body felt like shit. My head pounded horribly, my body ached, everything hurt like hell.

Ok, not quite like Hell. I knew what that felt like. This wasn't nearly that bad.

But it still hurt like a mother. A lot more than I had felt in a looong time.

I curled up tighter, breathing shallowly. I clenched my eyes and moaned once more. I rolled around again, and sat up. I clutched at my head, dizzy beyond belief. I could just see the little yellow birds flapping drunkenly around my head. I growled, and snapped open my eyes.

I felt them widen, and my mouth flopped open.

What the fuck?

I opened my eyes, wanting to know where the fuck I was, and – hello world! – was I surprised. I wasn't in some shitty motel, or a rundown-sketchy building , or my current hiding place, or even Hell. No, I wasn't any of those equally unpleasant places. Where was I?

I have no fucking clue.

But you know what I saw in front of me? Bars. I was in a cage. A cage. Looking past those – glaring murderously at them, determined to deal with them later – I saw them.

A group of wide eyed teenage freaks in melodramatic billowing black robes. Staring at me with eyes wider than mine. And a huge ass man standing in front of them.

"Well 'ere class, lookut 'dis! Ta creature I promised ye all, she's awake now! See? I told ye all I'd get somet'in' more in'eres'in' for our next class, did'n' I? Lookut wha' I got, some'in' in'eres'in'! Does anybody know what she is?"

He spoke the in the most gravely, deep, mountain man, English voice I had ever heard. He was a towering, grizzly, grey-bearded, round guy. 'Giant', is the word that came to mind when I looked at him; no, not giant as in big, giant as in the green giant on those veggie cans.

Yeah. Something hit my head pretty hard.

The group of freaks moved in a little closer, peering at me. I glared at them and spat "What the fuck are you all staring at? You wanna take a guess?"

A little freak gasped, and whispered, "Oh my god."

I glared. "Guess again freak."

The group moved back slightly, looking at one another. A bushy haired buck toothed freak stepped forward and spoke in that annoyingly I-know-it-all voice saying "That is a Demon, a creature from 'Hell'. They come in several forms, such as-"

"Alright smart freak, shut the hell up. Don't talk about me like I'm some sort of animal for all your enjoyment. Now, where the fuck am I? What's going on here?" I stood up in my cage, groaning as my meat suit crack and popped. "Snap crackle pop rice fucking crispies." I muttered. I stretched up, sighing in relief. My little black tee shirt rode up my stomach, revealing the pale skin beneath. My black jeans, slung low on my hips were snug as usual, but ripped and dirty; whatever. Jeans can be replaced. I tossed my head while I stretched, my thick auburn mane waving down my back. I looked down lovingly at my favorite thing in the entire world; my leather jacket. It was snug, it was black, it had metal accents, it smelled of French fries and cigarette smoke and alcohol, and it had a rip.

Wait; a rip? Oh hell fucking no. Some bitch was going to pay for that later; dearly.

I looked at the silent group, eyes narrowing. "What? None of you are going to answer me?" I scoffed. "Figures. A bunch of freaks in Jedi robes have no answers. Awesome." I sighed. "Hey, anybody got a cigarette or booze? This meat suit has some vices. And I have splitting headache." The group looked at me, shocked. The bushy haired freak huffed, and turned back to the group. Some of the boys looked at me, teenage hormones raging in their eyes – ew.

I rolled my eyes, and popped a hip, staring them all down.

Silence.

"Ok, enough of this." I smirked, and my eyes turned black. The freaks gasped, and leaned in closer to look at me. Really? I am not a zoo animal. I laughed, and stared the freaks down, wanting them to blow backwards. I sent my Demonic power into it, and –

Nothing happened.

"What the fuck?" I tried again; still, nothing. I growled, and walked right up to the bars. I reached out, ready to snap the bars off.

Soon as my skin touched the bars, I gasped and stumbled backwards. I looked down at my smoldering hands, and glared at the cage.

Fucking. Iron. Bars.

"Fuck my life." I muttered.

I shook out the burning pain, and my eyes went obsidian again.

"Alright fuckers. What next? What do you want?"

The giant dude ambled over to me. "Blimey. Wha's yer name girly?"

I glared at him. "Bambi."

He smiled at me. "Well 'ello there Bambi! Wha' a strange name. I'm Hagrid, nice to meet ye! Anyway, welcome to Scotland Bambi! We are at Care For Magical Creatures class."

I stared at the giant, not comprehending. "…What?"

He chucked deeply. "Yer my newest addition to the class, so 'te students can lean more 'bout the creatures of this world."

I continued to stare. "'Class'? 'Learning'? Where are we? Some sort of school for freaks?"

He shook his bushy head and grinned at me. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Bambi."

"'Bambi'? I've never heard of such a name. What a ridiculous name. Fits, for such a ridiculous person. I mean, look at her. Hmph." I opened my eyes, rolling them already. The bushy haired one was here again, peering at me, her snooty voice grating in my ears. I looked over at her, glaring. Next to her were two more of the freaks; a red haired gangly boy, and an onyx haired boy with the nerdiest glasses I have ever seen.

"Hermione, don't make her angry. She looks dangerous." The red haired one whispered.

"So. The annoyingly smart freak's name is Hermione." I muttered, rolling to the back of my cage, careful not to touch the iron bars. The two boys looked towards one another, gulping visibly. I smirked, and settled my gaze on Hermione, staring down those brown doe eyes that were, admittedly, full of intelligence.

The two boys quickly spoke up at the same time, clearly wanting to leave.

"Ron."

"Harry."

I looked between the three, and rolled my eyes. "Why do you all have such weird fucking names? 'Hagrid'? 'Hermione'? 'Harry'? 'Ron'? I mean, really?"

Hermione snorted. "Look who's talking, Bambi." she sneered.

I sighed. "Look, my name isn't Bambi. It's Ruby." I shook my head.

This was going to be a long process.

The two boys looked confused, looking between me and Hermione, who was also shaking her head.

"What do you mean? You – well, you said your name was Bambi." Ron, apparently, asked.

I looked at them, disbelievingly. "It's called sarcasm, shortbus."

The boys continued to look confused. I heard a cackle of a laugh, and tried to glare past the three musketeers. "Who the fuck is laughing at me?"

The three looked over their shoulders, and immediately storm clouds rolled over their faces. I raised a brow, and smiled. "Oh? Someone you three don't like? Let me meet them; I'm sure they are just lovely."

The three looked at me, slight disgust on their faces. I smiled sweetly at them. They shook their heads, looked towards one another, and walked away.

I looked past where the three had been, searching for the idiot who laughed at me. I finally found one freak who was smirking, continuing to laugh, more deeply now. My eyes widened a tiny bit, and I smiled.

Well, hello there.

He was standing, two ugly freaks flanking him. He was standing proud, head tipped up, standing firmly, staring at me as I stared at him. He was so pale, not in a gross way, but in that, aristocratic pale. His hair was pale blond, parted down the middle, and falling floppily over either side of his head, reaching to his ears. He was tall, lean, and built just like my type. His snake-like eyes were emerald green, sparkling with intelligence, greed, coldness, and most importantly of all; evil.

I grinned slowly at him. Oh yes, he was so very attractive.

What? I am a teenage girl – well, demon, but whatever. I still have hormones. And I can look. It's not like I'm going to jump him through my iron bar cage.

I looked toward the boy, settling more into my cage.

"Hey there. You the idiot who was laughing at me?"

He narrowed those emerald eyes at me, and stalked forward. He had two ugly mofos – cronies probably – flanking him, their scrunched up faces glaring at me, cracking their oversized fists. The group came up to my cage, just three feet away. I glanced up at them, raising my eyebrows challengingly.

"And just who are you calling an idiot, you disgusting low life?" His voice was cold, nasally, and sexily English.

"'Low life'? Ouch, my non-existing feelings are hurt. Kinda hard to be a 'low life' when you're not even alive, freak."

"Exactly. You are a dead nothing of a creature, sitting and smirking, trapped in a measly cage. Worthless."

I laughed aloud.

"You wanna have a pissing contest you washed out piece of shit? Fine. Bring your umbrella." I smiled.

Pretty boy seemed shocked. "How dare you speak to me that way! Do you know who you are talking to?"

I rolled my eyes, and leaned back, boredom clear on my face. "King of Dumbness? Prince of Idiocracy? Lord of the Stupid? I could go on guessing, but I think you are going to tell me, and get all huffy, and give me some sort of speech of how oh-so important you are, who your daddy is, and why I should give a shit about you."

Pretty boy sputtered a little, but quickly regained his proud and haughty demeanor. "You really should watch your tongue, girl. I am Draco Malfoy, and my father is Lucius Malfoy. I could have you taken care of for the way you've spoken to me."

I snickered. "'Draco'? 'Lucius'? Really what the fuck is wrong with you people and your names?" I got over my name fit, and looked him down. "Right. You know who my daddy is?" I asked, sugary sweet.

Draco snorted. "Do you think I care?"

I smiled. "My daddy is the Devil. For the way you've been talking to me, my daddy could torture you for all eternity. After I slowly strip all your skin off and send you to Hell."

The three went silent. I smiled. Draco's cronies made the symbol of the cross, and backed up. I rolled my eyes. "You think some little symbol will help you?"

Draco seemed frozen by my remark, but quickly thawed. "Oh yeah? And what's keeping you from doing that?" He looked at his cronies disgustedly, clearly not happy with their retreat. He stared me down, triumphant, having found my current weakness.

I glared murderously at him, feeling my eyes turn obsidian. The two cronies gasped and scrambled backwards. Draco's eyes widened, but he kept his ground.

"Once I'm out of this goddam cage, I'm going to get you. And your ugly little dogs too."

Draco laughed in my face. "Right. If you ever get out. Which you won't. I personally will make sure of it."

He pulled out a piece of wood, and leveled the thing at my face. I looked up at him.

"Seriously? You gonna poke me with that little piece of wood? I assure you, you will have to get closer. And once you're in my reach, you're mine."

His lip curled at me. He made some complicated figure with the little stick, muttered some mumbo jumbo – and no, it wasn't Latin; trust me, I would know if it was – and pointed the stick at me again. A bright blue-green light came shooting out at me. My eyes widened in surprise, and before I could do more than gasp in shock, the light hit me. I felt the meat suit twist painfully, and my mouth opened in a silent scream. I didn't know what he was doing, but I had never felt pain like this before. Well, except in Hell. But this was certainly up there with that.

Once he was finished waving that fucking stick at me, I was gasping for breath, my body throbbing in pain. I tried to sit up, and stared at him.

"What the fuck is that?"

He looked at me as if I was really stupid. "It's a wand, Demon."

A wand?

I groaned.

"Fuck my life. Witches. Wizards. Witches and wizards are such whores…"

And so that's how the next few months of my life went. Freaks in black robes gawked, poked, and studied me. I fought back as much as I could; that is, verbally. I managed to scare most of them. Even the jolly giant was beginning to lose hope on me, and be less friendly.

Good.

The worst – or best, not sure which – part of all this, was that Draco came back. And kept coming back.

Every. Single. Day.

Our days pretty much went like this:

"Hey Demon slut."

"Hey washed out dick."

"Having fun in your cage?"

"Oodles. Care to join?"

"What's the matter? I thought that was your natural habitat? Animals are put in cages. So are hookers."

"Funny. Wanna come a little closer and I'll tell you a secret?"

"Sorry, I'm afraid I'll get a disease or get dirty."

And on, and on, and on.

The verbal banter never ceased. It was actually nice. I looked forward to it in my ever increasingly boring days. It was the one thing that kept me entertained. I hadn't had a verbal sparring partner that was almost to my level in quite a while. I was, admittedly, impressed.

I know. Shocking.

Not so impressed with the spells he practiced with on me after; torturing spells. Not. Fun.

But one day, it changed. He come sauntering over, in his annoying/sexy way of his, and stood in front of my cage. Still out of my reach, however. But he was alone. No Croyle or Grab – Goyle, Crab? Whatever, the ugly mofos that were his cronies – to stare at me menacingly till I flashed my own stare and they'd wet themselves like little wussies.

I watched him as he stood there, staring at me, as if he were… Confused?

"Well well well, it seems the infallible, unshakeable Draco Malfoy is confused. What's skakin' bacon?"

He scowled at me, and I grinned.

"Shut up Demon. You have muddled my brain enough. You are…"

I hummed, pretending to think. "Gee, I feel like you've called me just about everything in the book over the last few months. Got a few new ones? I'd be happy to hear them."

He growled. "Stop being such a smart ass! It just makes you more attractive!" he snapped.

He froze after that little bombshell, as did I.

"Did you really just…?"

He exhaled angrily, and glared at me, standing even more proudly and stiffly. "You heard me. I won't repeat it."

I glared back at him, my moment of surprise passing quickly. "Yeah, you will. Repeat. Now." I said in that low, dangerous voice of mine I had.

He sighed, and continued to glare at me. He never had broken eye contact with me, not today, not ever in any of our verbal banters. Yet another thing I really liked about him.

"I find you to be an extremely attractive female, inside and out. Despite your, disgusting and lowly species difference."

I chuckled. "Gee you really know how to woo a woman."

He glared. "This isn't funny! How can you find this amusing? What am I to do?"

"How about let me out of this cage?" I asked sweetly.

"I can't." he answered stiffly.

"Why?"

"Because you're a Demon."

"Don't be such a racist."

His eyes narrowed. "You are mocking me aren't you? You enjoy my pain. Fine. I'll leave and never bother you again, your bitchiness. But first, I'm demanding answers; what do you think?"

I raised a brow. "Wow. Bossy 'lil thing aren't you? And what do I think? I think a lot of things. Currently, how much my back is aching from sleeping in a cage for the past six months. Oh and how much I hate this cage. And how I'm going to enjoy ripping it apart slowly one day. And-"

"Stop! You know what I mean! What you think about what I just admitted, what you think about me!" he huffed.

"Hm, someone's getting emotional. Well, honestly?" I sat back a little, looking him over. "I need a little more information to go off of. I mean, this is so sudden. Months of torturing me and verbally assaulting me, and just – poof! An admission of admiring me? I'm quite confused Draco dear. Please, expound upon this."

Now he seemed uncomfortable. He put his hands to his perfectly styled 'messy' hair, and closed his eyes for a moment. "Gah! I just, you're so, you! A manipulative, evil, sharp tongued, brave, bitchy, cold, sexy, opinionated, smart, conniving, passionate, Demon! What is there not to like about you? But the problem is, I shouldn't! You are so far beneath me; but I'm thinking…" He turned on the full Draco look, emeralds flashing with a spark of emotion. "I'm thinking, that I really don't give a shit."

I was… stunned. Yeah, me. Stunned.

I grinned slowly. "And that's just what I wanted to hear."

He looked confused again. "Really?"

"Yep." I said, popping the 'p'. "I'm interested in you. A lot."

"Why?"

"Because you're tall. I love a tall man. And there's that whole evil thing."

He raised his brows at me.

I huffed. "Fine. There's a bit more to it than that. Yeah, you are just about the sexiest guy I've set eyes on in a long time, you're heartless, cold, ruthless, evil, dark, snakelike, emotionless, smart, slick, rich, snobby, and you have the balls to torture me, verbal spar with me, and talk to me. And I bet if you let me outa here you would fight with me too." I grinned at him. "So, whadya say we stop talking, let me outa here, ad find a nice private broom closet?"

His face lit up. "Really? You aren't pulling a typical demon and lying to me right now?"

I put up my hands in the Boy Scout Honor sign. "I swear upon all that is dark, evil, satanical, and manipulative that I adore you as much as you adore me; if not more. If I am lying, may Daddy strike me down where I am trapped and torture me in the dark pits of Hell for eternity.

"Wow. You really do care." he breathed.

I flashed him a wide grin. "Damn straight, cherry pie."

He gave me his cold smile, and walked forward. He flicked his little stick, and muttered some fancy sounding words. I heard a little poping sound. I glanced over at Draco.

"And just what was the purpose of that?"

He smirked. "Try to break out darling."

I looked suspiciously between him and the bars. "I swear, if I burn my hands again on those, I'm going to strangle you. Slowly."

He chuckled deeply. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hmph."

I walked cautiously forward, and stared at the bars. I tentatively reached out, then stopped. I stared down at my hands.

"Fuck this cautious shit."

I felt my glare turn to obsidian, and reached out a sure hand. I twisted my fingers ever so slightly.

"Oh, sweet sweet success. I am finally back to one hundred percent."

The bars melted halfway down, then spontaneously combusted, releasing bright light and shards of burning metal. Draco, in an almost bored gesture, flicked his stick, and protected himself from the barrage. He smiled lazily at me, and I beamed back. I stepped happily out of the cage. I looked around, finally free and having space around me. I stretched fully, and tossed my hair over my shoulder, shooting Draco that kind of glance.

"You let me out of my cage. How sweet. And they say chivalry's dead."

He opened his mouth to respond, when a bird twitted happily above us. We both looked up, interrupted. Annoyed, I flicked my glance up there to the bird.

Next thing it knew, it was lights out. The little bird's corpse cam spiraling down, landing in between us. Draco looked from it, to me, back to the corpse, and back to me. His shocked face melted into one of pride and happiness.

"I adore you."

I smirked at him. "And I don't hate you either."

"Ruby! Stop whoring all my food!"

"Hey! You can keep your nasty chicken. I just want the French fries."

"Why?"

"Um, you need to taste these things. They are like deep-fried crack."

Here we were, sitting at the diner just down the road from our flat in England. Draco and I were arguing over our lunch. He stared me down, just as I stared him down. Neither would give in, ever. We could sit here for hours; trust me, it's happened. The diner manager literally had to throw us out one day, and we just continued our silent battle of the wills outside.

Quick as a snake, I leaned over the table and kissed him hard. He responded eagerly, quickly, but I backed away. He made a whining noise, and looked down to my lips. Quickly, he flicked them back up to my eyes, emeralds meeting black holes. I smirked.

"I win!" I sang in a sing-song voice.

He scowled. "That's not fair. You cheated!"

I raised a brow. "Uh, hello? Demon? You expect me to play fair?"

"Hm. Right." He smiled. "I don't hate you."

"I adore you too."

"Good." He smirked.

"Oh shut up, and finish eating. Let's go back to our flat. I'll show you how much I don't hate you."

His smirk widened. "Fuck the food. Let's just go now."

And with a loud crack the two of us were gone.

Now, I know some of you must be a little confused. I'm going to explain real quick, because I'm going to be pretty busy in a few minutes.

Two cold, dark, evil people find someone they can stand. Someone they can fight with, but not want to kill. Someone that is just like them; perfect for each other. In their mutual not-hating each other and finding each other extremely attractive, the two get together. They hatch their evil plans together, and do all sorts of fun, dark, bad things; now with a partner. Makes things so much more entertaining, and easy. The two leave the shitty school of Hoggywarts, go to London, 'attain' a flat, and live happily ever after.

Darkly every after, evily ever after, whatever the hell you wanna call it.

Some Ruby quotes, for fun :)

3x12 Jus in Bello

Ruby: Anyone got a breath mint? Some guts splashed in my mouth while I was killing my way in here.

*3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Ruby: I'm not talking about witches... witches are whores.

*3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Ruby: It was witchcraft, short bus!

3x12 Jus in Bello
Ruby: Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity in war, it turns out, your plan was the one with the body count. Do you know how to fight a battle? You strike fast and you don't leave any survivors. No one can go running to tell the boss. So next time, we go with my plan.

*3x02 The Kids are Alright
Sam: But you're a demon!
Ruby: Don't be such a racist.

Ruby: I'll be there with you. That little fallen angel on your shoulder.

3x12 Jus in Bello
Ruby: I'm sorry, I must have blood in my ears. I thought I just heard you say that you were stupid enough to let the Colt get grabbed out of your thick, clumsy, idiotic hands.

*3x02 The Kids are Alright
Ruby: I'm interested in you.
Sam: Why?
Ruby: Because you're tall. I love a tall man. And there's that whole Antichrist thing.

3x16 No Rest for the Wicked
Ruby: (to Dean) I wish I could be there in hell to see the flesh slowly ripped off of your skin!

3x16 No Rest for the Wicked
Ruby: Hey, Sam. How's tricks?

*3x02 The Kids are Alright
Ruby: (about french fries) Umm, these are amazing. It's like deep fried crack. Try some.

3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Ruby: Sam, you better keep your brother on a shorter leash if you want to keep him.

3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Dean: You wanna kill me, get in line, b*tch.
(Ruby saves Dean's life)
Ruby: Stop calling me b*tch.

3x02 The Kids are Alright
Ruby: (to Sam) Sure comes in handy when you have to swoop in and save the damsel in distress.

3x12 Jus in Bello
Ruby: (to Dean) Nice try! You're not a virgin.

3x16 No Rest for the Wicked
Ruby: What you don't know about me could fill a book.

3x16 No Rest for the Wicked
Sam: For some reason you're fighting on our side. Why is that?
Ruby: Go screw yourself. That's why.

3x04 Sin City
Bobby: (after he shoots Ruby) What do you want?
Ruby: Peace on earth, a new shirt...

3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Ruby: I remember what it's like.
Dean: What what's like?
Ruby: Being human.

3x16 No Rest for the Wicked
Ruby: Demon? Manipulative's kinda in the job description.

3x01 The Magnificent Seven
Sam: Who the hell are you?
Ruby: I'm the girl that just saved your ass.

Ruby: Because your special... in an esp sort of way.

*3x12 Jus in Bello
Ruby: Damn straight, cherry pie.

3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
(about what the Hell is like)
Dean: I saw Hellraiser, I get it.
Ruby: They got it close, except for all the custom leather.

*3x12 Jus in Bello
(Sam lets Ruby out of a devil's trap)
Ruby: And they say chivalry's dead.

4x22 Lucifer Rising
Ruby: (to Sam) You didn't need the feather to fly. You had it in you the whole time, Dumbo!

4x22 Lucifer Rising
Ruby: And it is written, that the first demon will be the last seal. And you busted her open, now guess who's coming to dinner.
Sam: Oh my god.
Ruby: Guess again!