One the Run
A Dragon Age: One Shot
(Author's Note: Jecca must do what is right! Alistair or not! Hope you like it! It's an impromptu response to my previous Cullen/Amell Fic. This is post-blight.)
I regretted walking away, every moment of everyday, as I sit at camp. I think of the way he stared at me when I headed for the door. I think of how Alistair took my hand and tore me away from the man that I loved. I had told him so often that I loved him, but it was all fleeting. We were at war and the only surviving members of our order. It's hard not to want to take comfort in someone so sweet and kind. Alistair was a good man, reliable and trustworthy. But our love was as I mentioned, fleeting. I didn't truly love him and he deserved a love stronger than this. So how did I remedy this situation? I made the last of the Theirin bloodline king of course. He felt like I betrayed him, but it was better than to break his heart. To tell him that my heart belonged to another. Not to the elf that stood feet from us, but the templar who held no respect for the Circle. Who would have gladly killed all of my people if he had the chance.
"Where are you going to go?" Alistair asked, standing before the people before him. The battle was won and we stood victorious. My long blonde hair hung around my shoulders as I placed my staff against my back. The war was over and why was I needed here any longer? He stared at me, his eyes still pleading to me. I moved to the new King of Ferelden, my hand moving against his cheek. He closed his eyes, sighing gently. I felt terrible for hurting him so deeply, but it had to be done. I had to find him, I had to move on. I leaned up, pressing my lips against his gently in a farewell. He kissed back gently before I pulled away from him. I knew that he understood me as I pulled free of him and headed out of the castle. This was how it had to be.
I spend up the stairwell of the tower, the sound of shouting voices catching me off guard. My hair danced around my face as I reached the forms of First Enchanter Irving and Knight-Commander Greagoir as they spat at each other. They turned to see me as I paused for them.
"Jecca, my god." Irving said, surprised that I had come back so soon after the battle. He had been there to help, but soon left for a reason I had not been informed of. Greagoir shot me an agonized glare before turning back to Irving.
"I have my men scouting the entire area, Irving. There is no sign of Cullen." He said and this caught me off guard. I turned to both old men with shock in my eyes. Cullen was missing? I looked to see Irving's face turn grave and I could tell he was furious. What happened here?
"Aren't the templars supposed to be out of here by now, Greagoir? The king handed the circle over to me! And this is what happens?!" He shouted, both men continuing to keep me out of the loop. I stared at them as they continued to glare at each other. Eventually they would say something to reveal what had happened.
"After what happened here and this, it's no surprise he went insane." Greagoir said feebly and this caused Irving to become infuriated. I've never seen him so angry, even after Jowan.
"He slaughtered three of my apprentices and that's all you have to say!?" And then it hit me. Cullen. I looked away, my fingers tingling as I tried to gather my mind. I then looked to Greagoir as he glared at the other old man. I needed to find him. Without thinking, I slammed my palm against Greagoir's chest and knocked him into the wall. He shouted in shock at me before I gave him a dark look.
"Where is he, Greagoir!?" I shouted, finally speaking, my eyes glaring into the senior templar's. He glared back, defiant before slumping a bit. He looked to Irving whose face seemed to get angrier with each passing moment. I then released Greagoir when he raised his hands in defeat.
"I don't know exactly, but he was seen retreating into the forests. That's all I know, my men are out looking for him now, Warden." He said with nothing but disdain in his tone. He still had the nerve to be callous, when he knew he no longer had power against the mages. I turned to Irving as he slowly looked back to him. His expression softened a bit, but not much.
"Can you find him, child?" He asked and I was forced to agree. I had to find him, but would I have the heart to bring him to justice. I tossed a glance at Greagoir before moving to leave the tower. I knew what I had to do, but could I? I sped down to the docks again, my staff trailing in the water as it created an ice path to allow faster travel. It certainly gave the man at the docks a reason to pause. I slammed my staff against my back and headed into the woods, knowing that this reunion would be all but heartwarming.
It felt like I had been traveling through the woods for days, but I knew better. It's only been a few hours, and from what I've experienced in the last few months, it was safe to say I was used to it by now. I moved through the brush, my hair getting caught in twigs and bark, making me more irritable.
"Damn it..." I muttered, pulling a twig out of my hair before continuing on. How could I hope to find him in this din? He could be halfway to Denerim for all I knew. Then, as I approached a clearing, I heard distant mumbling and sobbing. I drew my staff, the palm of my hand illuminated with power as I approached a fallen log. Then, I saw the light brown hair and the remnants of templar armor. I shuddered, placing my staff back where it belonged before stepping over the log. Cullen looked up from the moist ground to see me. He jumped back, holding his sword out in front of him.
"Get back! I-I will end you! I will…guh!" He cried, holding his head as he leaned into the log. I rested my palm against the blade, the edge slicing my palm gently but I paid it no mind. I moved closer to him, my face concerned and broken. I shouldn't have left, I knew that much. He opened his golden brown eyes to meet my green ones, his grip on the hilt of his blade tightening. He stared at me for a long time before exhaling sharply. "You walked away…" He whispered, his eyes moving from me to the sword in his hand. I looked away, licking my lips as I tried to get closer to him. My gloved hand reached for him, my fingers touching his head gently.
"I know…I know and I shouldn't have, Cullen, I'm sorry." I whispered, my hair falling down over my shoulder. He shrunk away from me, his eyes going to the ground. He started to shake, his eyes moving back to me when I stroked his hair gently. He tried to calm his breathing as he looked over me. It's been so long since that day at the tower, the day I really abandoned him. He then reached out to me, his cut up hand winding my long blonde hair around his fingers. He stared at it before smiling ever so slightly. It was barely noticeable.
"It's so long now…" He whispered, gulping as he stroked my hair gently. I felt tears welling in my eyes as I let my hand fall to his face. How could I bring him to the tower to be judged? To lose him forever now? I shuddered, a tear rolling down my face as I felt his worn cheek against the palm of my hand. He looked up at my face, seeing the tears and he looked away from me. "I…I hurt them." He whispered and I nodded gently, even though I didn't see the scenes. I'm glad I didn't, or else this could be so much worse. I stroked his hair gently, moving my body closer to his. It was so cold out here, winter was coming. I wrapped my arms around him, my gloved palm resting against his cheek.
"I know." I whispered, resting my head against his. I held him in my arms as I tried to calm him down. I could see lyrium withdrawals, and I could tell that he hadn't had his last dose. I shushed him gently as he shook, tears rolling down his face. Despite his hatred for mages, I could see the regret in his eyes as he clung to me. I pulled a lyrium potion out of my pack and looked at the glowing blue liquid. I then stroked Cullen's cheek and presented it to him. "Please, drink this." I said, looking at him as he stared at the vial in my hand. He then shook his head and looked away, his brown gaze falling to the earth. I looked away, placing it back in my pack before turning to him as he shook.
"Cullen…" I whispered to him gently, knowing that none of the options looked positive for him. He had murdered mage apprentices in a fit of insane rage. They wouldn't show him mercy. Irving wouldn't show him mercy. He looked up at him, fear painted across his face. He looked away, shaking as he looked around the forest as if he was looking for an answer.
"I committed an awful crime against the Maker…" He whimpered, tears welling in his beautiful eyes. He turned back to me, sheer agony on his face as he looked into my green eyes. "I have affronted him in a most heinous way and I can't take it back!" He cried before burying his face into my chest, just as he did the night before I left him. I held onto him as tightly as I could, tears rolling down my face. He was so broken and there was nothing I could do for him. He pulled free of me and looked up into my eyes, knowing that this seemed like a lost cause. "Jecca, I—" He started, however, we were interrupted by the sound of a loud roar. He looked away from me before rushing to his feet. I raised my brow in confusion before I turned to look behind me. Stragglers. Darkspawn. I grunted, thrusting my hands out in front of me, nailing the closest darkspawn with Winter's Grasp, freezing it in place. Cullen grabbed my arms, pulling me up to my feet before drawing his sword. I was so tired of this. I had thought the rest of the horde had been chased back into the depths of the Deep Roads by now. I raised my staff, my eyes glowing as I attacked them the best as I could. Dare I use blood magic in front of him? A man who was tortured by blood mages for so long. Then, as arrows began to fly, Cullen was shot in the shoulder. I couldn't hold back anymore. I looked to him as his eyes widened at me. He saw the blade in my hand as I drew it.
"Jecca no!" He shouted at me, his eyes tortured before I shook my head. I drove the blade through my hand and cried out in pain. Blood poured free from my wound before I turned my vicious gaze to the small horde in front of me. I then raised my palms and screamed, the glyph forming and all of the enemies stopped, choking as I choked the life from them. I grunted, watching the darkspawn begin to fall to their deaths, but I could hear Cullen shivering in fear of me. It wasn't enough. I slammed the blade through my other hand, more blood pouring. It still wasn't enough. More came as I watched the others fall. Just a bit more, as I held the bloody blade in my hands. Stray arrows struck me, but I did my best to not be phased as I sliced the blade's edge against the surface of my stomach. I smeared it against my palms as I continued the spell, my life force draining quickly.
Before I couldn't stand any longer, the horde was reduced to a pile of dead. The glyph disappeared and I fell to my knees, completely exhausted and drained. My blood coated my palms as I looked from the victory to Cullen as he stared down at me, holding his bleeding shoulder. I couldn't see if he was looking at me in disgust or concern, for my vision began to blur. I dropped the blade to the grass as I held my stomach, but it was in vain. My hands still bled and I felt myself fading in and out. Then I felt arms around me as Cullen moved to me. His hands grasped mine as my paling form slumped against him. I could hear his fevered breathing as he looked me over.
"I had to." I whispered, too weak to be louder as I felt him pull me into his arms. He touched my chilled face as he started to become frantic. It took too much as I felt my consciousness fade in and out of touch. He lifted me up off the ground, grunting with the effort of my dead weight and his wounded shoulder. He looked back to the blade before turning back to me, scared for my life. "Please forgive me…" I whispered before everything went black.
I don't know how long it took for us to return to the Tower. She was bleeding to death in my arms, and all I could think about was getting her help. I despised mages now, particularly blood mages for the terrible things they've done to my friends, to me. When I saw the blade descend into her hand, I knew in that moment that she had become something I hated. However, she did it to save our lives. As she lay bleeding in my arms, I realized that I still loved her since the day I met her. She was still Jecca Amell to me, not a filthy blood mage. I was the criminal, not she. I moved into the Tower, pushing past my fellow templars, or, ex fellow templars and moved toward to find Irving, or someone to help. My body was battered, bleeding, and yet all I cared for was that Jecca survived this. Her blood soaked through my clothing and my hands, yet her face was still as beautiful as ever. Templars moved to grab me, but when they saw the form in my arms, they held back from me. I moved swiftly through the corridors before I was finally met with the forms of Irving and Greagoir. At the sight of me, they stopped dead. Their conversation ended as they looked from me, to Jecca's unconscious form in my arms.
"Cullen—"
"Save her, please." I croaked, my mouth dry as I clutched the fading form of my love tighter. They looked to each before looking down at Jecca's bleeding form in my arms. "Please, just, do what you will with me…Just save her." I plead as my resolve began to crumble at the seams. I knew I had done a horrible injustice to them and to the Maker, but I couldn't hurt her. I couldn't lose her again, not like this. Blood mage or not, she was still mine.
"Follow me." A woman spoke, coming up from behind Irving. I did not recognize her at first until I realized it was senior enchanter, Wynne. She had been with Jecca when everything happened. She would help her. The expression on her face was grim as she completely disregarded the feuding men. I pushed past the two old men and followed the older woman. I knew they would follow and capture me as soon as she pulled through. I would die for my crimes, but knowing that Jecca would be alright made it worth it.
I awoke with a start, my hands both bandaged and my stomach. I groaned as I looked beside me to see Wynne washing off her hands. It was good to see her again before I looked to the other side of me. Asleep, sat Cullen as his head rested against the pillow I had been resting on. I smiled as I moved to touch him. However, I then realized where we are and I turned to Wynne quickly.
"Wynne! How did I get here?" I asked and she turned back to me, moving to stand at my side. She looked a bit tired and I could imagine why. She had saved me, like she always did. She reached out a hand and placed it against my shoulder.
"That young man brought you back here. He said you were swarmed by remaining darkspawn that were heading to refuge. Is that true?" She asked and I remembered, nodding my head to her in a response. She sighed before sitting herself beside me. She took my hand in hers and turned it over for a moment. "Blood magic, Jecca…" She whispered and I tore my hand away from her. She knew I was a blood mage, she knew since she agreed to work with me against the Blight. I've heard this lecture before.
"Wynne don't," I said, looking away from her to look at Cullen. They would take him away, sentence him for his crimes, and he would be executed or who knows what else. I reached out my damaged hand to him, stroking his hair affectionately. Wynne noticed my actions before turning back to me.
"This man is wanted, you know. They will come for him. One redeeming moment of bravery will not save him." She said, meaning to be wise and advising. It only infuriated me. I turned to her, my face harsh as I left my hand against his head.
"Don't you think I know that?!" I cried, tears welling in my eyes as I felt my barriers falling. Wynne always had that effect on me, no matter the situation. She was the like mother I always needed. We've been through so much together and I knew that any day now, that spirit within her will release her, and I would be motherless once again. I looked back to Cullen, my love evident in my gaze as I touched his cheek gently. He shifted a bit, grumbling a bit before falling back asleep. A single tear trembled down my face before I forced myself to look back at Wynne. "I love him, so much." I breathed, my demeanor reverting to that of a lost child as she embraced me. Her hand moved to my head as I clung to the senior mage, wanting to cry into her. She held me close as she looked to Cullen as he rose from his slumber. She looked to the man as he looked down at his hands. She didn't like that he killed apprentices, but she knew what was best for Jecca. Wynne pushed me away gently and turned to me and Cullen.
"Jecca, I know of a way to save this man." She said and I looked up at him, curious as to what she meant. Cullen moved up a bit, trying to hear the conversation. I looked from him then back to Wynne as she gave me a stern expression. "Invoke the right of Conscription. Irving and Greagoir will be forced to abide." She said and my eyes widened. I turned to Cullen who stared back at us. I understood his fear, but it was all we had left. I looked back to Wynne, a hopeful expression forming. "It's the only option." She said and I turned back to Cullen who was staring at the cot I was laying on. I reached for him, my hands grasping the sides of his face.
"Cullen, it could save you." I said, my hands gentle against his face. He looked back to me, a confusing expression that I couldn't quite understand.
"What if I don't deserve it? I killed innocent people…" He whispered to me, looking away from me. He did, but I was far too selfish for my own good. I looked to Wynne who rose to her feet and made her way toward the door. If he wanted to survive this and if I wanted to keep him, this was the only way. He looked up to see me rising to my feet and moving out of the room. "Jecca!" He called to me before moving toward the door himself. I moved down the hall as fast as I could, noticing that Greagoir and Irving were patiently waiting results of my recovery. They rose to their feet and turned to me as I approached.
"Jecca, you are—"
"I hereby invoke the Right of Conscription and remove Templar Cullen into my custody." I said firmly, my green eyes harsh as I looked at the two older men. Cullen rushed down the hall and came to a halt at the sound of my voice. He stood there, his eyes wide as he looked to the two leaders. Their expressions were a mixture of shock and fury as I took advantage of my rights. The truth of the matter was I was the only Gray Warden in Ferelden.
"Do you have any idea what this man has done!?" Irving shouted in my face, pointing his finger at me in an accusing tone. Greagoir kept his distance, but I could tell he was far less pleased. Cullen bowed his head, keeping it to the floor so he didn't offend them farther. I shook my head as I shook my head.
"I do and yet I still have the right to him. So you either hand over willingly or you deal with me." I said, knowing that I was pushing the older man. Irving had been nothing but wise and helpful to me. It seemed to him, that I was betraying him deeply, but I couldn't let them take Cullen away. I couldn't let them kill him.
"Then as is your right…Warden." Irving hissed before looking past me to see Cullen standing there. I could almost see the intent in his eyes to go for the ex templar, but he refrained. There was no need to further bloodshed. I then stepped from me, anger flowing off of him in ribbons. I looked to Greagoir as he gave me a snide expression. He remained silent as he disappeared as well, leaving me and Cullen standing there. I shuddered, thankful that their energies were gone. I then turned to him, my eyes nervous as he looked back to me. I reached out to him, touching his cheek in reassurance.
"Come with me. We have a long road ahead of us." I whispered and he ran his hand down my arm gently, nodding his head. From there, I led him out of the Tower and back out into the world. The course to Amaranthine was laid out before us. I don't know if he would survive the Joining. But I prayed that he would. Only time will tell. As we walked against the dirt paths and crossed rivers, I knew I had done the right thing. As selfish as it may seem, he deserved redemption. And we deserved our second chance.
(Author's Closing Note: I really hope the end of this didn't end up being too out of touch or lame. But regardless, I hope this works well. I love my Cullen. Hope you liked it.)