The Dancing Men Song
Sung to the tune of "Dancing Queen" by ABBA
Help me Holmes, help my wife
they're scaring her out of her life
Ooh, hear that girl scream again,
"There are the dancing men!"
Friday night and the lights are low
sneaking 'round so his face won't show
scribbling under my window, so he won't be seen
He's come to look for a queen.
Anybody could be that guy -
Elsie's past is a blank, that's why.
With a bit of detection, you could smoke him out
give him a kick in the pants.
So if you get the chance,
What are the dancing men?
There they are on the wall again!
Dancing men, little figures
Beyond my ken, oh yeah!
Help me Holmes, help my wife
they're scaring her out of her life!
Ooh hear that girl scream again,
"There are the dancing men!"
He comes creeping across my lawn,
See him skulking and then he's gone.
Put my lads in the bushes,
Catch him in the act
Give him a kick in the pants!
This may be my last chance...
What are the dancing men?
There they are on the wall again!
Dancing men, little figures
Beyond my ken, oh yeah
Help me, Holmes, help my wife,
they're scaring her out of her life!
Ooh hear that girl scream again,
"There are the dancing men!
There are the dancing men!"