This story deals with two different timelines, Avery's first proposal in S3 and the mysterious and unexplained return of their rings in S5. This first chapter is set between 3.8 and 3.9.
Avery probably should have anticipated the meltdown, especially when Juliette got teary at the ultrasound. The technician had settled the wand on Juliette's belly, pressing gently as she pointed to the image of their unborn daughter sucking her thumb on the computer screen. She then casually handed Juliette a tissue as if it were routine that expectant mothers started crying upon seeing their babies wiggling and kicking around in the womb. He didn't know, maybe it was. It had been an adorable moment but also another sobering reminder that there really was going to be a baby. His ex-girlfriend had a new life nestled inside of her, one that he'd be partially responsible for. That thought both terrified and excited him - mostly terrified.
"I can get you a pic of that," the tech said, moving her fingers over a keyboard.
Juliette touched her stomach and then grimaced when she got gel on her fingers. "Can you print out two copies?" she asked, casting a quick glance in his direction before blotting her eyes again with the tissue.
"Oh, sure. One for the grandparents."
Neither one of them corrected her. It was just easier that way.
Juliette held on to both pictures as they headed across the parking lot towards his truck. He slowed his steps to keep pace with her. She had told the doctor what he'd noticed when he'd picked her up from her house, she didn't have the energy she used to have. She did have just a bit of a waddle going, and it was adorable - but he would never mention it to her.
It took her two attempts to lift herself into the passenger seat and Avery stood nearby, ready to steady and lift her if she needed help. He was grateful when she didn't. He'd learned after helping her unzip her dress after the CMA Awards. It was hard to touch her. His hands didn't want to pull away afterwards.
He closed her door and walked around the truck, digging the keys out of his pocket as he reached for the door handle. They were cautiously managing a new version of their friendship, one he hoped would remain constant after their daughter was born. They needed to be partners in this. He'd realized that after months of trying to convince himself that being there for his child was different than being there for his ex. Right now it was the same thing. That meant learning Lamaze so he could be her birthing partner and today, it had meant picking her up for a doctor's appointment. Financially she didn't need anything from him; Juliette could have gotten any couture baby crib she wanted and not even blinked at the cost. The crib he'd purchased (after returning the first one) had cost several extra shifts and almost all of his meager savings, but he wanted her to know he'd do his fair share as a father.
He pulled out of the parking lot, making a left onto the busy street. "Do you need anything before I take you back home? You hungry?"
She'd settled back into the seat with one hand resting on her bump. "Actually, since you asked…could you stop by McDonald's?"
He shot her a look. "McDonald's?" Definitely not a place she usually frequented.
She sighed. "I've been craving a milkshake. One of those Arctic Orange ones. Have you ever had one?"
He frowned. "I think maybe as a kid."
"I've been thinking about it all day," she said, rubbing her stomach. "Longer than that actually."
"Orange milkshake. No problem."
The truck rumbled beneath them as he made a few turns and found the nearest McDonald's. He let the car idle at the drive-thru as he asked for the shake, only to be told they didn't carry Arctic Orange.
"Not for years," the disembodied voice floated through the car, more than a bit of mirth in the tone.
"Uh, okay." He turned to Juliette. "You want something else? Strawberry?" She shook her head and he pressed on the gas, directing the car towards the exit. "Sorry about that."
"It's okay," she said, her voice wavering.
Avery glanced at her and was surprised to see her bite her lip and then lean forward, covering her face with a hand as she started sobbing. Loudly.
He was at a loss. She couldn't possibly be crying over an orange milkshake. Could she? That would be almost ridiculous.
"I'm sorry," she said, lifting her head to wipe her eyes. "I just wanted…and I've been thinking about it all week and they don't…" The rest of the sentence merged into one long wail.
Avery Barkley had no idea how to deal with this. "Juliette." He jerked the truck into a parking spot. "It's okay. I'll go in and get you something." Anything to make her stop crying. "You want vanilla? Chocolate?"
"No," she whined. "I wanted orange." She wiped her tears with her palm. "I'm sorry," she said again, but she couldn't seem to stop the tears…or the sniffling.
He searched the car for a napkin while wracking his brain. Arby's had a shake…but that was coffee flavored, not orange. Hardee's was a long drive and he wasn't sure they had something beyond the basic flavors. He found a napkin crumpled under his visor and handed it to her.
She blew her nose and gradually the tears stopped. "I'm guess I'm just feeling a little more hormonal than usual."
"So you're okay now?"
"I think so." She dabbed at her eyes again. "You can just take me back home and let me deal with my crazy pregnant lady hormones."
Juliette gave him a half-hearted, crooked smile and he blinked, letting his eyelids linger before he reopened them. As always, he was kind of in awe at how beautiful she was, even though her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and still shimmering with tears. "You sure you don't want any other flavor? It's gotta be orange?"
"Don't worry about it, Avery. I'll get over it."
He let it be and got them back on the road, heading towards Belle Meade. An orange milkshake sounded pretty disgusting to him and try as he might he couldn't think of any fast food place that sold anything like she was looking for. He didn't even know anyone else who'd drink something like that except…he lifted his foot off the gas and slowed the car. JT.
Not too long after he'd first moved to Nashville, his friend had dragged him around for half a day in search of an amp - the cheaper the better. They finally found one they could afford in a modest guitar shop and the only reason Avery remembered was because JT forgot to unlock his car door and had left him standing on the sidewalk holding the amp while he ran into the restaurant next door and got himself a milkshake. He'd fussed when JT came back because the amp was heavy, it was near summertime and the sun had been mercilessly bearing down on him.
"Sorry, man," JT had said. "Had to get this orange Dreamsicle. One of the best things about Nashville. You'll see." And then he wouldn't stop going on about how good the damn thing was.
What was the name of that place? Avery drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, willing himself to remember. Rock something…he smirked as the name finally flashed through his mind. "Do you mind a detour?" He asked. "I've got a quick errand to run."
She sniffed and rubbed her stomach with both hands. "No, I don't mind."
It only took a couple minutes for him to get turned around and find his way. The guitar store had closed down but the restaurant next door was still in business. He parked on the street and ducked inside, returning to the car a few minutes later. "I have no idea if this tastes like the McDonald's one," he said as he handed the milkshake to her. "But it is orange."
"Is it?" Her eyes brightened as soon as she tasted it. "Oooh, it's good." She took another long sip before looking up at him. "Thank you, Avery."
"You're good then? No more tears?" He hesitated before turning the ignition, waiting for her response.
"No more tears," she agreed. She was pleased with the shake and just like JT, kept talking about how good it was in between sips. "This is even better than McDonald's," she said. "Oh, baby's kicking. She agrees."
Without even thinking about it, Avery reached over to place his hand on her stomach and felt a thump against his palm. Their daughter's kicks were getting stronger. "She seems pretty happy with it." He reluctantly moved his hand back to the steering wheel so he could turn into her driveway. Avery parked and got out, circling the car so he could open her door.
"Thanks for picking me up," she said, juggling her purse and the shake as she stepped down. "Oh, before I forget." Once her feet were on the ground she handed him one of the ultrasound pictures. "Baby girl's picture." She tapped her finger on the black and white image of their daughter. "It makes it a little more real, doesn't it? Seeing her in there?"
It was the way she said it that finally clued him in on the real cause of her meltdown. It was happening. They were going to be parents in a few months and even though he knew they'd make it, sometimes thinking about it too much caused his heart to race. He suspected it was the same for her.
"It does," he said, taking the picture from her. He glanced at the grainy image, the teeny fist next to the baby's head. "I told you, we got this."
"Yeah, I know." She nodded and took another sip of her milkshake. "Thanks again, Avery. This put a smile on my face."
And that was the thing. He used to live for her smile and he'd once wanted to make her happy in any way he could. They were tentative friends again and she needed his support right now, but that was no longer a part of their deal. But still, he found himself responding, "Anytime." He watched as she started walking up the drive.
"I'll see you." She turned around to wave and then headed for the door.
He waited until she'd made it inside the house before getting back in his truck. The ultrasound picture was still in his hand and he looked at it again before setting it on the empty passenger seat. Avery put his truck in reverse and slowly backed out of her driveway, trying to make peace with the tangle of emotions he felt. With her, he just didn't know where to draw the line between support and indulgence. But it wasn't love, he insisted. It wasn't.