A/N - Warning for naughty words here.
The Start of Hanging
Danny was sat in his usual haunt, a dirty little pub far away from everything and everyone he knew. The dim glow of the light was barely enough to see round the bar, yet strong enough to still sting his eyes. It was relatively quiet there, people weren't going out as much anymore, the City was scared, it was running on a knife edge and at times he was convinced it would slip. He downed the glass of whiskey in front of him and signalled to Harry to bring him over another. The elderly landlord hobbled down behind the bar and tipped another double shot into the glass. He didn't speak, people weren't really speaking, everyone was too wrapped up in their own thoughts to speak.
"Messer?" A deep, New York accented voice growled and Danny turned to see the tall, dark haired cop standing behind him.
"Yeah," Danny nodded. "Flack?"
"Yeah," Flack nodded and then swung onto a stool next to short, blond haired cop and ordered a pint of lager from Harry.
Both men watched as the elderly man once again hobbled down the bar and filled a pint glass with the delicious nectar.
"Put it on my tab," Danny nodded as Harry placed it on the bar.
"You sure?" Flack asked.
"Yeah, you can get the next round," Danny replied.
Flack nodded and then sipped his lager, grimacing as a result of it rather more than anything else.
"Come on, let's get a booth," Danny muttered as he stood up and made his way across the bar without waiting for a reply. He slid into one side of the table as Flack did the same opposite him.
"You look tired," Danny commented as his eyes looked over the young man across from him. He was stick thin, gangly and gaunt, like he hadn't slept or eaten anything in weeks. He looked fragile; like he was about to break but then so did so many of the people around them. Danny himself felt close to breaking and he knew he probably looked just as shit as Flack did, even if he wouldn't admit to himself that he needed sleep too.
"I am, but so do you," Flack replied honestly, taking in the down turned mouth of his companion, the glasses placed low on his nose, the frosted blond tips of his spiky hair. The guy looked dead on his feet, but so did all the cops, all the doctors and firemen, basically anyone who could help. Flack glanced round the pub, it was shabby and not a place he'd choose to come. But then this Messer wasn't someone he'd normally choose to hang out with.
"You spending all your free time down the Pile?" Danny asked, fingering his glass.
"Yeah. You?"
"Yep."
Flack nodded and supped his pint, still grimacing.
"You even like that stuff?" Danny asked, half smiling.
"Bad day," Flack grunted in way of answering.
"Know the feeling," Danny replied.
"You realise it's Christmas in three weeks?" Flack asked, leaning back in the seat. He struggled to pull off the tie he was wearing.
"Fuck Christmas," Danny said bitterly.
"Maybe it'll spread some much needed cheer?" Flack suggested, grappling with the tie that didn't seem to want to come off.
"Yeah right," Danny snorted. He looked at Flack pulling at the tie. "You always wear one of them ta work?"
"I like to show up smart. My old man told me first impressions count for everything," Flack replied, finally pulling the tie free and dumping it on the table top.
"I heard of him...your old man," Danny nodded. "Bet he's busy at the moment."
"I haven't seen him," Flack shrugged. "I think he's sleeping at work. He's just glad we're all safe."
"You didn't lose anyone?" Danny asked.
"Nah. You?"
"Guess we're both lucky then," Danny mused.
"Lost some colleagues though," Flack added.
"You and I both," Danny muttered and stared down into his drink. When he eventually looked up again Flack had his eyes closed and Danny was unsure if the young officer had fallen asleep. After a moment Flack opened them again and Danny could see red behind the bright blue.
"You thinking of that girl?" he asked.
Flack swallowed and Danny realised the guy probably still found it hard. Flack hadn't been a cop as long as he had, no doubt he had balls, but those few years made all the difference.
"Yeah," Flack replied. "I keep seeing her face."
"You get that with your first DB?" Danny asked. "Most people do."
Flack nodded his head. "This is different though. I never had anyone die on me before. If I coulda helped..."
"We did all that we could," Danny interrupted. "We ain't doctors, Flack."
Flack took another long drink of his pint and as he put it back down a tear fell into it. Danny stared at the ring the droplet had made in the pint. He hadn't been aware Flack was crying.
"Fuck," Flack choked as he looked away to the side.
"It's getting to us all," Danny replied as he took a gulp of the whiskey. It burnt his throat but he didn't care. He'd long since become immune to that burning feeling that numbed his throat.
"I walked with her for a couple of miles," Flack stated, not turning back to look at Danny. "Before I met you."
"She speak to you?" Danny asked as he swilled the last of his whiskey round his glass and then gulped it down in one. He raised his glass to Harry and stuck up two fingers and the landlord nodded back.
"Not once. If I'd just walked faster, helped her along more..." Flack murmured.
"You carried her for over a mile when she could no longer walk, Flack," Danny stated. "Neither of us could have done anymore. I ran as fast as I could to get that medic. It wasn't our fault she'd gone by the time we got back to you. That's just how head injuries are."
"I don't even know her name," Flack replied sadly.
"I'm sure we could look it up somehow. They'd be a record," Danny muttered.
"Yeah," Flack nodded. "Maybe...we...no, never mind."
"What?" Danny asked.
"No, it's nothing," Flack replied.
"Tell me what you were gonna say, Flack," Danny said severely.
"I was just gonna say...ask...maybe you'd wanna come if I found out where she was buried?" Flack mumbled.
"Sure," Danny nodded as he leant back. Harry came over and placed the two whiskeys down on the table.
"Tah," Danny thanked the old man. "Here, drink this," Danny muttered pushing a glass towards Flack.
"Whiskey?" Flack asked as he eyed the glass.
"Yeah. Drink it, it'll help," Danny nodded.
Flack grimaced and swallowed it all down in one go, much to Danny's surprise.
"Fuck!" Flack spluttered and began coughing, hitting his chest with a fist.
Danny smirked in amusement and settled back, feeling slightly more relaxed than he had done when Flack had first walked in.
"What was that you gave me, Messer? Petrol?" Flack choked.
"Numbing, isn't it?" Danny grinned.
"Yeah," Flack gasped, breathing deeply.
"So come on," Danny said, leaning back again, a small smirk still on his lips as he watched the younger officer. "What precinct you work out of then?"
"13th," Flack replied.
"Manhattan," Danny nodded.
"Yeah. Think my old man likes to keep an eye on me," Flack muttered and Danny couldn't help but notice the slight bitterness in his tone. "What about you?"
"40th, in the Bronx. Danny replied. "You gonna push for detective like your old man?"
"Yep," Flack nodded. "Wanna make detective as soon as I can," he replied.
"You think you gotta good chance?" Danny asked.
"As much as anyone else. I work hard, I wanna make a difference," Flack muttered.
"Yeah," Danny nodded. "Some people...some of those bastards..."
Flack pursed his lips, knowing exactly how the older cop would have finished that sentence. Some people just didn't deserve their freedom, their rights, their lives. Flack clenched his hands in anger as he thought about them. About the evil that surrounded him, that swallowed him up.
"Hey," Danny muttered and then pushed a hand down onto one of Flack's fists, forcing it flat.
Flack jumped at the contact, uncomfortable for someone he barely knew to be touching him.
"Don't let it go to your head," Danny stated. "You gotta keep it at a distance...separate."
"That what you do?" Flack asked.
Danny snorted. "I try. I ain't so good at keeping my temper in check."
"I'd never have guessed," Flack muttered sarcastically and Danny raised one eyebrow at him.
"Alright you snarky bastard," he grumbled. "I'm working on it though. Gotta keep a cool head if I wanna get through this next year."
"Why? What you doing this year?" Flack asked.
"I got my Chemistry degree finals. Wanna make CSI," Danny replied.
"Chemistry?" Flack muttered, as though even the very word itself confused him.
"Yeah. I need it to move to the Crime Lab and make detective," Danny replied.
"Wow. You got it all thought out," Flack nodded.
"I've had longer to think about this than you. How old are you anyway?" Danny asked.
"Twenty-three," Flack replied.
"See, you're still a kid," Danny replied.
"A kid," Flack said, feeling rather insulted. "So are you, you can't be more than thirty!"
"Twenty eight," Danny smiled. "Sorry."
"That's alright," Flack sighed. "I'm just a little tetchy...sleep deprived."
"Aren't we all," Danny agreed.
"You get nightmares?" Flack asked quietly.
"Sometimes," Danny replied honestly. For some reason he felt he could open up with the young cop, that he could tell him the truth and he wouldn't judge. Danny hadn't told anyone about having nightmares, not his family, friends or colleagues. He didn't want them to see him as weak. But he did get nightmares. Running through streets of clouded smoke, lost and alone. But then he hadn't been. He'd found Flack. They'd found each other.
"I do too, Messer," Flack said. "I wake my girl up sometimes but I don't wanna worry her. I don't wanna worry anyone. We all have our problems."
"You can talk to me if you need to," Danny said. "I barely sleep myself. You call me if you wake up and need to talk. You got my number."
"Thanks," Flack muttered. "You do the same too."
Danny smiled and finished his glass of whiskey. Flack still had about an inch of lager left in his glass.
"So you got a girl?" Danny asked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah," Flack nodded.
"What's she like?" Danny asked.
"Stunning. Dark hair and eyes, beautiful skin. She's from Brooklyn, works in my precinct with me," Flack replied.
"Man have you got it bad," Danny muttered shaking his head.
"What about you?" Flack asked.
"Nah. Young, free and single me. Living the dream," Danny grinned.
"You don't wanna settle down?" Flack asked.
"Nah. Can't see it. I like doing what I want too much. I see a pretty girl and I know I can have her. Girlfriends...marriage...it's not for me," Danny shrugged.
"I wanna settle down...one day," Flack mused. "I wanna be a dad and raise another Flack cop. Have a family and Sunday dinner round my Ma's house like I used to round my Grams. Still do when we get a chance."
"Each to his own," shrugged Danny.
"I don't mean yet," Flack added. "In a few years, when we're both ready."
"Yeah," snorted Danny. "I bet you're married within a year and she's popping one out in two. What's this cop's name anyway, I might know her?"
"Burn," Flack replied. "She rides with Harrison while I ride with Moran."
"Well try not to get burnt then," Danny grinned, giving Flack a wink.
"Shut it, Messer," Flack stated. "You sound like my sister."
"You got a sister?" Danny asked looking slightly excited.
"Yeah I do and keep your paws off," Flack retorted, straightening up in his seat. "She's outta bounds."
"What just to me?" Danny scoffed. "She could do a lot worse."
"To everyone," Flack growled as he downed the rest of his pint. "I need ta go. I gotta meet my girl in twenty minutes."
"Right," Danny nodded as he slid from the booth.
"Here," Flack muttered as he shoved a few notes into Danny's hand and then picked up his tie from the tabletop.
"What's this for?" Danny asked.
"I said I'd pay for the second round," Flack shrugged and then turned and walked out of the pub.
"Cheers Harry. Catch you tomorrow," Danny nodded to the barman as he followed the tall officer outside.
"I'm glad we did this," Flack stated turning to look at the older cop. He was pleased to have found the man who had helped him out those few weeks ago. Messer had been a hero in his eyes, still was and for some reason Flack felt comforted in his presence.
"Yeah, me too. Glad you got in touch," Danny returned.
"Let's keep it that way," Flack said. "You know, in touch."
"Sure," Danny nodded and then fidgeted awkwardly, unsure whether to leave or say more. Should they shake hands, a friendly pat...what? He wanted to tell Flack that sitting with him in the bar had been the first time he'd smiled in weeks. That for some reason the world hadn't seemed such a gloomy place for that half hour.
"Hey, I'm glad I met you," he suddenly found himself saying.
Flack stared at him, an odd look on his face that Danny couldn't read at all.
"I'm glad I met you too," Flack finally replied after a moment, surprising Danny.
"Here's to many more of these fucking moments," Danny nodded and then turned, walking down one way from the pub.
"Yeah," Flack smiled. "To these moments." And then he turned and walked the other way.