I love Law and Order: SVU way too much. I like Eliot/ Olivia but almost every story follows the exact same plot line, so it's starting to lose its charm.

Anyways, this story is all of those stupid plot lines combined into the ultimate bad Eliot/ Olivia story.

Only this time, I decided that Chester Lake should still be there, just because I feel like there aren't enough stories featuring him. I found him rather annoying, but I still wish that he hadn't gone to prison. And, I happen to like Kathy, so she won't be the evil over controlling witch that she usually is. This will not end like most E/ O stories do. ;)

Warning: the characters (mainly Eliot and Olivia) will all be very OOC, just like they are in most Eliot/ Olivia stories.

I only own this plot line.

Not Another Eliot/ Olivia Story!

It was just your typical day at the 1-6 precinct. There was a huge accident about a block from Olivia's apartment, and she still hadn't shown up for work for some weird reason. No one (mainly just Eliot and Cragen) could figure out where she was and why she hadn't shown up to work.

"Oh, where could she be?" wailed Eliot (in a completely manly way)

"Hey, maybe one of those people who sent here a death threat killed or abducted her?" suggested John Munch very sarcastically

"No way, Olivia's too smart for that to happen" reasoned Eliot

"Maybe that guy who sent her the bomb disguised as a flower box sent one to her apartment and it blew her up. But, if it had, we probably would have heard about it by now." Said Fin

"Oh my God! Someone blew up Olivia! What am I going to do?" sobbed Eliot

"I vote that new guy gets to tell him." Said Munch to Fin

Chester Lake, unfortunately, happened to be the new guy. He also happened to wander over around the time Eliot began to sob over the fact that Olivia had been blown up, even though she was clearly stuck in traffic and hadn't called because she had forgotten her cell phone, or something similar.

"Um, Eliot, you do realize that Olivia's probably just stuck in traffic. It's pretty bad today, I even-" started Chester

"If she was stuck in traffic then why didn't she call? Huh, ever think about that?" snapped Eliot

"She probably just forgot her cell phone or figured that we heard about the accident on-"

"WHAT? She was in an accident this morning?" screamed Eliot

The doors to the 1-6 suddenly burst open as a bedraggled looking brunette woman stumbled inside.

"No, actually as I was exiting my apartment, a man grabbed me from behind and drug me backwards next to the stairs going up into my apartment! Oh, Eliot, I was almost rapped! He- he- he even asked me why I had thrown a coffee cup onto his head!" sobbed Olivia as she fell into Eliot's arms

Munch nearly gagged on his coffee for the first of many times this morning. Fin managed to pass off a laugh as a cough. Lake just rolled his eyes, but still had to leave the room because he was giggling so much. This was probably about the third time this week (it was only Tuesday) that Olivia claimed to have been assaulted.

The first time, she had slammed her door and a neighbor had grabbed her arm as she left. And the second time, she had bumped into someone and spilled his coffee. The man had grabbed her on the shoulder and asked her to pay for it. Now, she had thrown a cup of coffee on someone, they had grabbed at her as she left, and now she had been raped. Again.

"Everyone, we have a case! A ten year old girl just went missing this morning. Munch, keep an eye on the tip line. Fin, Lake, we have some garbage that may contain evidence for you to sort through. Eliot, Olivia, go interview the mother and make her feel better!" said Cragen

Munch and Fin groaned. They got to sort through trash and listen to nut cases describe identical girls to the one missing eating hot dogs on a street corner just a few minutes ago. Oh, what fun that was going to be. Eliot and Olivia probably wouldn't get anything done but they would still manage to steal all of the credit and glory. Again!

"But, chief! Olivia was nearly raped! Again!" whined Eliot

"Fine, Stabler, go search Liv's apartment. Liv, go to the hospital and have a kit done, if he actually raped you!" Cragen said

"No, Cragen, I have to be brave and confront my attacker! I have to go with Eliot!" said Olivia, as she stood up from her seat

Munch nearly gagged on his coffee. Again. Fin now had to join his partner out in the hall because he was laughing so hard.

"Let me guess," said Chester, "Olivia is just starting to act brave enough to confront her 'attacker' or she just decided not to do the rape kit because she knows that she'll be able to drag a confession out of the guy who 'raped' her?" asked Chester

Fin started laughing. The new guy could be a bit annoying but he was alright when it came down to it. He had even managed to get the hang of Eliot and Olivia's schedule and it was only a few months since he had transferred over to the 1-6.

"Nope, Olivia actually denied the rape kit this time, that way she can help Eliot 'confront the man who did this' to her." Laughed Fin

Munch walked out. "Well, we still get to sort through garbage and run the tip line." He sighed

Lake and Fin groaned.

Eliot and Olivia (who happened to be walking out to the elevators) thought that they were groaning about the fact that they didn't get the chance to help Olivia heal form yet another brutal attack.

"Oh, don't you worry, your constant support is already helping me to heal from this terrible ordeal!" gushed Olivia

That was too much for Chester. He had to mumble something about going to the bathroom (either that or it was about going to get a vacuum) and leave the room. Eliot and Olivia looked a bit confused at why Chester had to leave the room.

"Um, it's a bit hard on him when a case hits so close to home." Said Fin

"Oh, the poor thing! Well, we're going to go catch my rapist and finally give me some closure!" said Olivia as the two walked off towards the elevator

Nearly five hours later

After spending most of the day sorting trash, listening to druggies describe random people that way they could get money, and interviewing about ten witnesses, a break through finally came.

"Hi, I have a young girl who's playing in my back yard who matches the description of the girl that went missing this morning!"

"Do you know her?" asked Munch

"No, I was inside cooking for dinner when my daughter walked in with another girl whom I'd never seen before. I asked her if her parents were okay with her being over here and she said that they were! Then I turned on the TV and saw her photo and the number that we had to call!"

"Okay, ma'am. Tell us your address and we'll be right on over!" said Munch, as he signaled to Fin and Chester

As Fin and Lake arrived at the house, they noticed another squad car parked outside. They both groaned. Three guesses as to who had driven that car!

"Thank you for your help, Mrs. Kirkpatrick! I'm sure that Allie's parents will be so grateful that you helped us find her!

"Oh, you're welcome!" said the lady as Eliot, Olivia, and the girl left the house

"Wait! How did you guys get here before us?" said Lake.

Fin rolled his eyes. New guy still hadn't figured it out.

"Well, we listened to the police scanner, and heard that we had found the girl." Said Eliot

Oh, great. Another case 'solved' by the Eliot and Olivia dream team!

When they arrived back at the squad room, however, they had a rather nasty surprise waiting for them. Or at least it was nasty for Eliot and Olivia.

Kathy walked up to Eliot.

"I've decided that I've had enough. I'm going to go through with the divorce this time. It's just too stressful. I am completely willing to work something out with the kids, but I think that I should have primary custody because you have to work so much-" started Kathy

"How dare you try to take my children away from me! I should never have married you, you- you- you WENCH!" screamed Eliot

Kathy looked a bit taken aback.

"Um, well I suppose that we could work something else out, but I just want what's best for the kid-" began Kathy, but Olivia interrupted her this time

"How dare you talk to Eliot that way!" screeched Olivia

"Well, I'm pretty sure that you two have been seeing each other behind my back, and it's not the greatest feeling in the world, so I think that it's better if Eliot and I just call it quits, you know." Said Kathy very quickly, before either Eliot or Olivia could interrupt her

"How DARE you accuse me of sleeping with your husband? Oh, yeah, honey, I don't know how to tell you this but, I'm PREGNANT!" said Olivia

As Eliot and Olivia started getting all mushy and gushy, Kathy turned to the three other detectives with a very confused look on her face.

"Yeah, they've been like this all day." Said Fin

"There's really not much we can do about it." Said Munch

"I'm really starting to miss Brooklyn" said Chester

"Yeah, well why on earth do you think I'm leaving him?" said Kathy

"You poor, poor thing!" sympathized John, who had had his fair share of divorces

"Eh- I really just can't wait to see how Don is going to take this." Said Kathy

"I wish I could say not very well, but Cragen happens to love them." Said Fin with a sorrowful look on his face

"Damn! That's the only reason I decided to tell him in the office!" muttered Kathy

Everyone was beginning to give her very weird looks.

"What? I'm a bit pissed off at my soon to be ex- husband and his girlfriend too!" defended Kathy

"Wait, what? You're divorcing Eliot? Well, who's his girlfriend?"

Everyone turned around to see that Cragen had entered the squad room. He looked a bit confused as to what exactly was going on.

"Cragen we need to talk to you!" said Eliot, Olivia, Fin and Munch all at the same time

"Well, Olivia-" started Eliot, but Chester cut him off

"Munch, Fin, and I have noticed that you seem to treat Eliot and Olivia a whole lot better than the rest of us." Said Chester

"Well, if I have then I promise you that I won't be doing that any longer!" said Cragen, "Now, Eliot, Liv, what is it that you guys wanted to tell me?" asked Cragen

"Well, Liv and I have been secretly dating and now-" began Eliot

"I'm pregnant with his TRIPLETS!" screamed Olivia

The look on Cragen's face was priceless. It slowly went from slightly pale and surprised to beet red and full of anger.

"What?" he said

"Oh, Livy, tell him the good news!" said Eliot

"I want you to give me away at the wedding next month!" said Olivia

"Eliot, Olivia, do you realize how many rules and regulations you two have broken?" asked Cragen in a quiet and small voice

"Well, we do know that it's a lot, but like they say, true love conquers all!" said Olivia

"Really? Did you ever think that maybe there is a reason I do not let people in the same precinct, none the less PARTNERS DATE?" Cragen started off in the same small and slow voice, but ended with a huge, bellowing roar.

"But, it's true love!" whined Eliot

"BUT, I DON'T CARE!" yelled Cragen "You'll be lucky if I don't report you both to IAB! Liv, you are taking your maternity leave very, very early! And Eliot, you are getting transferred over to traffic surveillance, until further notice! Not that there's much hope of either of you ever getting your jobs back!" yelled a steaming Cragen

Eliot and Olivia looked shocked. Munch, Fin, Lake, and even Kathy looked rather pleased with the events that had just taken place.

"But- But-" stammered Eliot and Olivia. They had never been treated like this before.

"if anyone needs me, don't! I'll probably be at a bar getting drunk as skunk!" said Cragen, as he left the room and headed towards the elevators

"That was so unfair!" whined Olivia

"Yeah, he never treats us like that in any other Eliot/ Olivia stories!" said Eliot

"Yeah, well, welcome to the real world!" said Munch as he walked out the door, with Chester, Fin, and Kathy following him.

Well, there you go! My very first Law and Order: SVU story.

I'm thinking of putting up an epilogue, but I cant decide.

Well, tell me what you think! If it sucks, tell me what I can do! If you like it, tell me why!

Thanks for reading!

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